>> was it a power trip or something like, boy, i'm showing these bad people -- >> i really think it was just me trying to overcome the fact this was a traumatic hell. because when i looked in that room and a single incandescent bulb was in that room, and it just looked hideous. the whole thing was hideous -- >> the barn or the people in the barn -- >> the barn where they were actually shot. if you were to look into the pit of hell, that's exactly what that looked like to me. >> did you look in? >> i don't have any memory of actually focusing on anything because i guess i just didn't want to. >> so in walking or escorting these people into the barn, you didn't wait and see them tumble into the hole? >> i was, i guess you call the judas goat. i was the one that led each member from the house to the barn. and then from there, they had to symbolically have tape around