the impact that it has on everyone around you, particularly family and how thankful i was to have my parents behind me and i think really gets that and he knew that it was a big struggle and a big event. >> major, your case is similar to colonel fehrenbach's, you weren't asked, you didn't tell, you were outed by a third party. before that happened, did you -- what did you expect from the don't ask, don't tell policy? did you know you could be outed and investigated and kicked out without ever volunteering to anybody that you were gay? >> i -- the third party thing is was very enlightening, yeah. i wasn't aware of that. i think i was aware i wasn't going to tell, they weren't supposed to ask me, but i wasn't aware that the third party could out me at any time. >> victor, let me ask you one