run into my sister, a practicing registered nurse, who knows, of course, everything. she sees me, and i look like -- there's two words i love to mispronounce. they're called "apoplectic" and "catatonic." i'm probably a combination of both. and she kind of just takes me to the side. "what's wrong?" looking back now, i really do know what's wrong. at the time, i'm guessing. my mind is all over the place. but it's... you know, after 17 years, i think it's over for him. what we typically say in every phone call is, i tell rob how proud of him i am, to this day, and that i love him.