going to blow up. yeah, it's good to be out here. it's a great way to relax. being outside is a lot better than golf because if you lose something in the bush, you know, you can put a new one on. >> when rob was off at war and you would come out here? >> yeah. >> was it ever peaceful enough for you to set aside all the concerns you had for him? >> yes. a lot of times it was. but it also gives you a lot of time to think about what he might be going through too. you know, but being out here in this environment where all of a sudden it's either the middle of the night or just before dawn and you're still here getting ready to do what you do, it's very calming. you do get a good feel about life. knowing that rob had been doing a lot of that with me and the limited experience i have in the outdoors and everything. i knew he was handling whatever he needed to be in. >> rob, after 9/11 you had a very stressful decade of war.