didn't go in. we should have sat down and said, look, my son is getting bullied but is afraid of retaliation. how do we address the problem with that affect? there are much more better ways coming to the surface now. schools are getting bet we are this. they used to do conflict resolution to bring them in for a fake apology session, but they are being much more thoughtful now. you need to isolate the two and you need to address the behavior problem, but as venice was saying, you need to go after the bystanders. to me there are three types of bystanders, the ones who are friends of the victim, the ones somewhere in between and the ones friends with the bully. we need to go after that group, the ones that are friends with the bully. they are in a position of power and have the most influence over their friend to get them to stop. because at this age, kids listen to kids much more quickly than they listen to adults. if you get those bystanders to step up to their friend, i think it will make a lot of progress with this problem. >> i think that's a great, great suggestion. and the key that i hear from all