carrying her. that's one thing i know. the other thing i know for sure, and this is more important than anything she has ever done in her life. whitney houston loved the lord. >> the whitney i knew despite her success and worldwide fame still wondered am i good enough, am i pretty enough. will they like me? it was the burden that made her great, and the part that caused her to stumble in the end. >> whitney was purely and simply one of a kind. yes, she admitted to abuse in her life, yes she confessed to oprah about her battle, but when i needed her, she was there. >> when did the drugs start? >> before the body guard we were just very light. after the body guard it started getting heavy.