they may not be able to do so but they would appreciate being thought of this time of year. >> shannon: i know as somebody who has experience with this, you talk about the issue of expectations both for the soldier serving and the family back home. how do you manage and make plans for how you communicate and not putting too much of a burden on either side of the equation? >> military has an expression which is always flexible that is something to bear in mind that emotions and plans can change. you may decide that skype is the way to go one week. the next week you decide it is too stress -- stressful and it makes the kids too sad you switch to e-mail and flip video instead. needs are going to schiff. >> shannon: you mentioned children. we know adults and children