that are seen on television like you, they know you in a professional capacity, but you're a father. you have a family. and those are the things that you value most. but t really wanted to talk about with you, is the impact on you personally. when you laid your head on the pillow that first night, after you had been given notice by telephone -- not even by person were you were terminated by npr what was going through your head? >> it's been three nights out and i haven't been sleeping. it just keeps going on in my head. i don't quiet get it. i said to bill oreilly, you know -- bill had been on "the view" and got spoon a cob throw versey in terms of saying there were muslim that attacked us on 9/11, muslims trying to murder americans, and he was rebuked for them and people walked over