about the president and he's screwing -- he's behind me isn't he? i want to talk to you about what i was saying, i was talking to somebody today, big businessperson and said what's the secret? you were bottomed out 15 years ago. and had you nothing 10 years ago. now. i said the secret is not caring. losing absolutely everything and then saying, i'm alive? and i have my soul. and i'll even lose my life but i won't lose my soul. that's where we have to be. the secret is getting there before we bottom out. because somebody has to be strong to hold everybody else up. josh we were talking during the break. you said that you're changing your whole life. how do you mean? >> well, i've a stable job and a good family. we're not in trouble in the