i felt as though everything i cared about was ripped from me. >> mike: what was the hardest personal moment you had? >> the hardest personal moment was actually not in dealing with my husband's and my marriage issue. because i felt as though because he made the choices he made, and he was fighting for a marriage, and i was fighting for a marriage, i felt like we were going to be better for it. the most devastating part of the process was when we were separated from our church. together we invested 22 years in the church body and deeply loved the people. i felt as they deeply loved us but others made the decision to separate us from them when i felt we needed them the most. >> mike: do you understand why they may have felt the need to create separation? did you say okay, this is painful but they're hurting too? how did you process that? >> i do understand that way of thinking but i challenge it in my book because i was