i'd say i was a cattle prod -- to get people to do shows, booking shows, curating shows. it's just what i do. it's like, "let's go, let's do it." and when people would ask me to do things i'd be like, "yeah i want to do it, of course." people were -- beautiful -- doing things because they had to do it, not because of any other grand idea. >> anthony: so what made you happy back then? i mean, did you have any happy moments? >> lydia: happiness was not the goal, satisfaction was the goal. as it still is. my anger is on a global level, it's never on a personal level. i'm very happy. i'm happy to have octopus with you tonight, my dear. when was the last time you had something this good in your mouth? i know you eat well, but this is like -- >> anthony: it's been awhile. this is pretty incredible. >> anthony: you were featured prominently in many of the best known films of the era. >> lydia: most of which sucked. it was trying to be a reflection of the reality at the time. hence is why i made the films i