when i was 4, i remember smoking marijuana for the first time. i was even being paid to baby sit by being given joints, and i'm talking, like, 7, 8 years old. i ended up going into foster care and i kept running away. i didn't want to stay in placement. and then i got involved with meth. i was 18 when christopher was born. i didn't really know how to be a mother because i had been raised in such a chaotic environment and raised by the state that i just kind of winged it. ♪ there was times that my son would confront me on my drug use. he would cry. he would beg me. he would ask me to stop. and even though in my heart i