him, help him to survive. the things that you would have to do in a hospital for someone who's near death, with a bucket of water and maybe a sponge. >> by august 1968, mccain couldn't take it anymore. >> he signed a statement that he was an american black, you know, air pirate, et cetera, and admitted to their claims against him. >> how much did that moment, the vietnamese breaking him, affect him from there on out? >> look, i think he wanted to die. i think he felt that he had let the honor slip away from him. he felt shame, that he had let the country down, he had let his father down, his family down, his compatriots down. >> everybody but mostly me. mostly me. because the standards that i set for myself. >> he would be forever haunted by the shame he felt.