intellectually. but there's nothing you did you should be embarrassed about. how are you holding up? you have a loving husband, a support network there, are you doing okay? >> i just want to go home -- i have a 2-year-old and a 4-year-old and i just want to hug my babies and my husband, that's all. i've been up since 2:00 in the morning, california time. i haven't eaten anything, i have like cotton mouth, i don't know if you can tell, i feel like my teeth are sticking to my gums, i'm okay, i'm holding up it's just been nonstop, that's all. i'm okay. thank you. i'm all right. >> the world you're making for your children, for your 2-year-old and 4-year-old, you realize you are making it better for them. i don't know the genders of your children, but it actually doesn't even matter. >> i have a boy and a girl. >> both of them need to be impacted by this, right? not just the girl. >> you know, you always --