answer, wife. and if there is a wife, this is happening in two different places, if the parents are divorced, three different places. and if the casualty officer proceeds to break the heart of a family member. and stays with that family until, well far long, long time. even after the entournament. so that's what happens. >> i mean, the casualty officer proceeds to break the heart of the family member. this is spoken by somebody who has experienced those conversations on both sides, spider. >> and jake, you pray that it's done with a level of professionalism as described by john kelly. and i would suggest to everyone that it is. these -- this is a sacred duty when you become a next of kin