i can't. then i looked at these statistics. i did my own research on it. who knows. we don't know what's going on there, but just to see, sort of the recurrence rate is so high. i just couldn't sit with that, for me. >> what you are describing is something happening right now, somewhere in america, a woman is going through making this tough decision. you can't want to have it at all. after all the data came back and you looked at it and talked to your doctor, you decided it was the best thing to do. >> for me. i know i have gotten some criticism, i'm sure from people who said what i have done was way too radical. i looked at my family and i just thought this is the smartest thing for me to do. this is my best chance of not having to deal with this ever again for as long as i live. that's what i knew and had to do