the loyalty program he signed us up for has all these restrictions, blackout dates, a crazy point system... and we couldn't stay here. so what am i getting for free? my undying love? [ yelps ] wendy. hole-in-one. [ male announcer ] accumulate 10 nights. and get a night free. welcomerewards from hotels.com. smart. so smart. so i was the guy who was never going to have the heart attack.