[applause] i am the director of the library of congress, my great pleasure to introduce todays speakers. One of the sponsor this years festival, we are proud to bring americas writers here to join us. We have individuals who study extensively and produce great works at the International Book festival. Welcome to everyone joining us live on cspan, we are part to partner with cspan for todays event. Our next program figures features rk russell, he made history by coming out, the first nfl player to a dinner bisexual, his book is a memoir of life, love, and football. Dean is the chief Communications Officer in the library of congress. Join me in welcoming them. [applause] thank you. I finished your book this week and it is such a beautiful man memoir. It is a love letter to the relationships in your life, your mother, i think especially the men in your life. Her stepfather, your biological father, your stepfather, your biological father, and all of your teammates. How did your relationships with these men impact you . Rk my identity here on this earth, it is very much a culmination of all of these people, my stepfather for example, i lost about a young age but his messages rang true to me today, the character of a man is not how big you are or how strong you are, or how intimidating you are, of your work is that it is your work out your character, being dependable and accountable. My childhood friend who i consider a brother now, he has tommy resilience and he has survived a been survived being abandoned. He has tommy me about morality and seeking out to be a change in people, to be a light and something that people can lean on, by biological father was not in my life, example of things may be not to do, the false steps we can all take as youve met and the heartache and the importance of healing from that, so you do not continue those cycles. All of these men, teammates as well have taught me about the things that it truly means to be a man and those things have nothing to do with sexuality or how much money you make or how big you are being a Football Player and being that, it is how you affect people, shows up in peopless lives show up in peoples lives. Roswell you talk about the. Struggles you had when you were a young man. How did you get through that . Who did you lean on to make sure you could get through it . R. K. my mother, first and foremost, it is funny because i do talk a lot about the men in my life but. The one constant is my mother. She is my best friend. There are no limits of what you can do as a person in this world, she had me at a young age, my mother got pregnant and 19 and had me at 20, as a single, black mother in america. She heard about all of the things she could not do, the statistics we fell into and she exceeded all of them. She was never too woman for something, she got her masters while raising me, it was always my life to even when i was drafted, the first thing i did was move my mother in with me, she would be the foundation, she would be that rock for me. The most about being a man also from a woman, and i think that is pivotal because also as men we exist with the multiplicity of people, women and nondairy people and we need to understand how we fit into these molds, break these molds, and how to uplift each other. Roswell you mentioned that esports has given me a lifeline, do you mind if i read . A part from your book . Football was how i found space and peace in high school, how i obtained a scholarship to a top university, attracted most of my love interests, football and so i made friendships that became brotherhoods and when no one else wanted me, football was home. R. K. there is so much of my identity from football, a lot of it to my benefit, some to my detriment, growing up in texas, it is a pivotal part of culture there. I was in his family, faith, and football. My family did not look like other peoples, i did not attend church regularly like others did, football was something that proceeded all of those things when they saw me in something that, as the outside world forgets about you, i was beginning to do the same, ive tried to tell Young Athletes at all people in general that of course it is ok to sacrifice to achieve your dreams and succeed in the profession and interests and the creative hobbies or activities that you love but it was it is never ok to sacrifice yourself. That is the line but your walking with football, it has become so obsessive in your life, as much as i love football, with mentors and the male figures and coaches and family and purpose and education, i let it take things from me. My love for self, my individuality, capability to challenge the things i was told about being a man or being a black man in america, i let it encompass all of me. It is ok for it to be a huge part but football is not all that i am and it took me a long time to unlearn that. Roswell he received a scholarship for do, you in their football team, if you do not know what redshirts are, could you explain what they are and what did it teach you . What life lessons did it teach you . R. K. it is when you commit to a college or go to a college to play on their team but for whatever reason you have to sit out, for me it was because i was undersized, i was tall and athletic and i was small to be a defensive end. It is a coach telling me that i needed to go work out and eat and get bigger if i wanted to play in the league. Which i agreed, i did do there are benefits, you get to learn the game and get around the College Athletes and teammates and the in those practices going against big ten starters, all american, things of that major. Nature. You get to prepare and compete and you still get four years to play after that which is amazing. It also comes with hardships, i moved from texas to west lafayette, indiana to play football and for a year i was told to be in the building but not on the field and that is not good for your confidence. You know the sacrifices are made to be there and it comes with its own unique challenges. Roswell my favorite part of the book is when your mother surprised you for your birthday, you drove around and landed at where the cowboys played, it was your first nfl game. R. K. the Dallas Cowboys versus the Philadelphia Eagles im not sure if they are cowboys fans or eagles fans it went fullcircle, a few years later you get a call from jerry jones when you are drafted to the nfl. Roswell what was going through your mind . R. K. they better call soon i was stressing [laughter] it is amazing, baffle soaker moment that full circle moment. A mother was with me on my journey, although i played football there was such a disconnect from me out of the nfl, these are people who are largerthanlife, playing on the tv screens and i assumed everything that they did was something that i could not achieve are not aspire, it was not in my realm of thinking, but going to see that game and seeing the huge men were still playing on the 100 garfield i was going on, the tame the same kind of field i was playing on, the same kind of ball i was playing with. I hear jerry jones with his thick country accent see my name, it is validating. I sacrificed so much to be a Football Player and achieved the dream by being drafted than most people never achieve in their life. That most people never achieve and their life. By then it is time to go to work, time to capitalize on all of the things you have done to this point. College was where i was starting to understand i was not straight, my sexuality whether it was gay or bisexual, i did not have a lot of information about my sexuality at the time, whatever it was, i was not straight and that was another thing i put under the box sacrifices. In getting drafted, invalidated that, im glad i did not have a boyfriend or become open about my sexuality because i made it to this point. What people do not realize is once roswell when people do not realize is there is a lot of work, aside from physically, mental work that needs to happen too because you never know if you are going to get resigned, if you are staying with the team, if you get injured. How is it going from the cowboys to the buccaneers . R. K. at first it was devastating, the cowboys were my hometown team, they drafted me, there is pride you want to fulfill that. We all want to be like jason witten and play there forever and retire there. He ended up going somewhere else you want to be that figure to be on your team, you want to exceed those expectations and getting cut from the Dallas Cowboys was my moment of physically basically, i messed up. I went to try out for the jazz, the patriots, and each trial i thought a bit of myself being chipped away, to go to tampa bay and have in my opinion the least best workout, to be in humidity and drenched in sweat, they say we will give you a chance, it was a glimmer of hope i needed to get into second gear, i also remember that there is no more funny business to my life, im not hanging out with friends as much, im not going to be the Hometown Hero anymore, im not going to date, im going to focus on football. Life is a funny way of saying as soon as you should all of these doors, they will show you the broader what happened to me. Roswell when you were in tampa, something really big happened in football, this is one cap her neck kneeled during the national anthem, the nation notice what was happening with the nfl. Tell me what was happening behind the scene, how are players deciding if they needed to kneel . It seemed like an easy decision to do it, but what were the factors of being weighed on . R. K. in the nfl people have a perception of what it is, but honestly, we really do talk football or talk sports in general most of the time, guys share that they have more moments but we are there, some of us are almost there 12 hours a days prickly for football, we went into a discussion any such a large scale something so much more. In such a large scale on something so much more. There was executive and coaches who do not understand, the first time that owners of the buccaneers came to speak with all of the teams, to come up with what i or they believed to be solutions or to address the problems but also to figure out how we could get all of the players to stand for the anthem and support the game of football in what was presented. It was a bit of a massive, i have to be honest. Roswell you struggled a bit too . R. K. it means so much to so many people, the anthem. Police brutality and social injustice were things that affected everyone that i know, it affects all of us whether we are people of color or not. I have family in the military, my brother is in the army, my dad was in the air force, i was in the navy and my grandfather was in the air force, there are so many things that represent so many people in the anthem. I think it was an opportunity for the nfl to jump in on the discussion and i do not think at that time they did that. Roswell let us talk about that, they jumped in and made some changes, what do you think of them . Do you think it is enough . I know there is a major culture change in the league, is the lead on the right path when it comes to this . R. K. they are on a good path, i think as we navigate there is always missteps or better paths to make. You have younger people who are watching football, how do we get the message to them . In a way that is both digestible but also meaningful . Doing things like putting end racism in the end zone is something that a lot of the audience think are cute but what are we actually doing . Funding changes, funding women owned businesses, blackowned witnesses, social initiatives, trying to be more reactive, proactive instead of reactive. They are making an effort, i think the nfl has a huge organization, there will always be more but they are open to that discussion and listening to people who come to the table and challenge them in what they do and what they think. Roswell in other subject matter, as you all heard, this years theme is everyone has a story and your story is a very trailblazing store that we believe Everyone Needs to hear. Stories that we believe Everyone Needs to hear. We get to see other peoples stories and this is where your story comes in very importantly. In her book mentioned how you struggled with your sexuality and your happiness, versus your career. That is football, the league, you said that the questions in my head grew louder, selfdoubt about my sexuality and my identity overflowed into worries about the future. There was a bitter irony in how i was drinking away from a dream even as my heart worked and brought it within reach, the nfl wanted me but because they did not know the real me. That must have been something really hard to wrestle with. You work hard your entire life for this moment and then what do i do . R. K. football is one of those things, those unique things that though it is a job at that level, it is one of the few jobs where calls to your manliness or your character, who you are as a person, there is something that we focus a lot on the nfl players and when you pick up a football at a young age, people tell you what type of person you need to be to play this game. Some of it is correct, you need to be a little crazy to hit other people at full speed and do it again and again, there is rhetoric, misogynistic rhetoric of do not throw like a girl, there is being tough which is important, but not walking all of your emotions, rub some dirt on it, it works in effect to some effect, but it does not work for all of your life obstacles. When you focus on the type of people that can play football, you are saying what type of people cannot play football. I grew up with all of this, most of the players in the league did as well, when i realized did not fit the type i was told was a Football Player, the strong, masculine, straight, hardnosed, nonemotional person, i thought im not a Football Player, do i not belong here . Roswell that was the hardest part of what i was reading, you struggled with depression, and maybe binge drinking, how are you today . R. K. not drinking [laughter] [applause] thank you, yes, im four years sober in september. 202 7488000 we wish you well roswell we wish you well. This is a four Year Anniversary when you wrote the essay that was published on espn. I will be a quick excerpt i will talk about. You wrote i want to live my dream of playing the game, i worked my whole life to play and being open about the person i have always been. Those two objectives should not be in conflict, but judging from the fact that there is not a single openly lgbtq player in the nfl, nba, major league baseball, or the nhl brings me pause. I want to change that, for me, and other athlete who share these common goals, for the generation of athletes who will come next. When you were in college, someone came out and was recently kronos he came out, the only nfl player who is a free agent recently a player came out, the only nfl layer that is a free agent. What will it take for a professional male athlete to come out . Does it start with the league . Or teammates . Or the owners . It is a major undertaking and i know that you have taken this task, what you think needs to change for more players to feel more comfortable . R. K. it has to come from both sides, i think we have heard a little bit more about how the league feels about his own inclusion and diversity, players have come forward to talk about accepting a player for the merit of their game and their heart and hard work. I do not think we have had that ownership positive robert kraft, i do not think we have had the same messaging when it comes to the marketing and promotion when you show and see on tv or commercials or in the stadiums of what type of people are allowed to be announced, let alone allowed to be players. Ingrain inclusion into the base of your foundation. To the base organization, the higher lgbtq people even if they are not players and coaches, executives, all of these things, referees, the game in and of itself to be more inclusive for people to feel comfortable. You cannot ask someone what makes them feel comfortable if you do not understand their experience. You are treating a wound instead of actually the problem and the cause of it. I actually work closely with the nfl and professional players, in the sports culture, i believe that the most shame comes with the youth, a lot of that is in the culture we here at a young age. Losing athletes growing up because they do not feel included in sports, they do not feel supported and sports and i think once we fix that problem, more people are going to play at the Public School level, the city league level, even at the collegiate level. Roswell i should start from the beginning was to mark when kids are playing touch football or in the Little League baseball games . R. K. i think that is important, my goal is not to have every professional player that is lgbtq come out, it is to have players get into sport young and state in sport and goat professionally and go professional already out, being allowed to play the game that they love as themselves. Roswell wen yu published when you published your article with espn added to the interview, or was it like was to . R. K. it was like coming up for air, and so part of this book being one of the top, being drafted, going to college after graduating and coming out is still probably my number one because it was not about football or other people or what they thought of me, it was not to make a statement even, it was for me, me choosing my own life, me choosing to live whatever i had, every time i had on my earth for me and prioritizing myself first and it is something i think everyone can do for themselves, it is something i think, that sentiment everyone should have because this life is ours and regardless of the things we like to do or the activities or the sports we play, we have to live with ourselves. [applause] roswell since 2019 you have seen a lot of fans reading your book, a kind of reaction are you getting . From fellow athletes or people on the street . R. K. any reaction i have gotten has been positive which i am thankful for. Honestly, it is the broad sweeping kind of if i had to pick from a similar sentiment in all of the infractions i have is thank you for telling the story, thank you for having this discussion in male sports, it has not and it is still showing only from the subject, regardless of whether we like to admit it or not, we all know that we are probably all related to someone who is lgbtq plus. If you do not have that connection or no once a comes to mind no one comes to mind, someone in your life is charted in shame or secret does not feel safe enough or for a multiplicity of reasons, and a living a full and loving life as they should be and that is what this book is about. That is the message im trying to convey. We need to love people, we need to allow people to be themselves. We need to not judge people before we know them. We talk about things as if they are just topics, as if they are just things on a sheet. These are really connected to true peoples lives. These are points people are agonizing about it in and day out. Roswell you opened the book by talking about your new opponent which is hate, let me read this quick excerpt. Im no longer stopping on shoulder pads to clash with other individuals, my opponent is hate, the idea of hate, how we teach it to younger generations, how we find it with our dollars, under the systems that uphold it, hate is the two opponent of all of us. The idea that someone of a different color, or sexuality is lesser than anyone else. That is the opponent. There is a lot of that going on whether it is from book banning to everything around the country, how do you want to play a part in fighting that . R. K. any way that i can, honestly, i think we all have a different piece to play in this battle against tate. Hate. We have all been told we could not do something or could not be something or something in our lives was incorrect because of who we are, where we were born, what we look like, i do not think we should limit human beings by things that are beyond our control. My color being one of them, intersectionality of being a person of color and a bisexual person, i see that this idea forms a different rhetoric about a multiplicity of topics, i will stand with anyone who feels as if they are being a, silenced, pushed down into the foreground because id has happened to me in so many ways and if i allow it to happen to you, i am allowing it to happen to me, others, i am ok with that idea, i think that is what we all need to be on the same page about. We will have different points of view. At the end of the day when someone tells you they are hurting or someone is under attack, when they feel unsafe or they feel like they are not meant to be here by an outside force, that is when you need to listen. That is when the discussion needs to stop and the listening needs to start. Roswell we are taking some questions, there are two microphones on the aisle, feel free to lineup. I will let you in if you have a question. Lets talk about coming out, how hard it is for men or professional athletes to come out. It is not seem the same on the female side . There were about 86 women who were out among all of the soccer players around the country. Why do you think it is more easier for women to come out . R. K. multiple reasons, i also believe that women are constantly at the foreground of change in our country, women are constantly challenging the status quo. [applause] yes, women lead our society in many ways, as a woman, unfortunately here in the state you are told from birth of the things you cannot do and i believe women have built up resilience to automatically say no, you do not define me. That attributes to womens sports. Also the problematic sector of things, that sports, the misogyny of sports, that these young women that are in sports have been told that in some way they are less women for being in sports. Once you can take that shackles of what their sexual is assumed to be, we talk about women being in the forefront and onto the lgbtq and diverse and inclusion but also in social change, is in their voice and platform, that is a league run by women. Roswell i think when young girls are playing, it is a culture that is there. Our first question . I am proud to hear your story and see that you are true to yourself. I was curious, what was the reactions of your teammates and management after you came out . R. K. my teammates whether it be from high school or college or professional were supportive of me, everyone who knew me personally had very nice things to say, if anyone outside of that sphere even other players in the league felt negatively or indifferent about it, they did not tell me which i appreciated i received so much love and acceptance in the sport. Roswell that is great thank you. Congratulations on your book, i am interested in the process, did you just say im going to write it . Did you do a little every day, the whole process . R. K. this was the culmination of almost three years, it started with the coming out in 2019, sharing my story and feeling how it affected other people but how liberating it was for me in wanting to do that at large. The process was something i was hand held, fortunately, had an agent very early on, and they wanted to expand that. To make that dream come true, i wrote in flurries through three years, there were two months my boyfriend and say that i did not do anything there was a month where i was in a dark room in a haze, writing was challenging, therapeutic, i cried, i screamed, i hated it, and loved it. It was everything, i stayed until this day including playing in National Football league and this book was one of the most fulfilling, had great editors, i needed a lot of editing we finally got to something that felt good for me and my story. Roswell i forgot to ask this earlier, is it how it had saved you as well, you have wrote poetry, how did writing help you internalize and really help you maybe actlike therapy for you . R. K. we talk about social issues here in the constructs, even the norm, the societal agreements we all adhere to whether we know it or not just by being complicit in this world and in certain things but there is none of that in writing for me. It was such a judgment free zone, i do not have to be anyone i was not, at could be someone else if i wanted to, i could jump into a book and experience something so far removed from what my own experience was. Or see a vision that i wanted to cultivate in my life and that was something i constantly look for in righting, i could writing. I could create my own image of who i am, the life i want to live, it draws me to things like this, to be honored to be a part of such an Amazing Program with so many authors who have challenged the status quo, who have wrote their own stories and should light on so many things that i even as a person in the space was unaware of, writing was one of the truest forms of communication, something i value so much. Roswell i saw your book is being turned into a Television Show . I was wondering how through that process, how is that going for you . Are you involved in the handson writing and how does it feel they are life is being adopted into something be made for a larger audience . R. K. there is a strike happening right now in hollywood, and i very much support that and it is important that everyone feels as though they have fair wage. Their compensation. That is first and foremost in terms of this book out of the series i have been honored to have the option come from gabrielle union, to have Sony Pictures take that arent in development, to have Sony Pictures take part in that development. Also it is a chance to tell other stories, it is supposed to be a comedy, hopefully i am funny [laughter] we can make that happen, for that part, to laugh, and to know that you will sit down and have a good time, and makes talking about things really a lot easier, nobody wants to watch an hour long rating or lecture berating or lecture, we will have a good laugh and love each other and hopefully at the end of it understand each other a little bit more. The process was great, it is a dream, hollywood is crazy [applause] in good ways and in not good ways. I am honored to be able to tell stories. Congratulations again on your sobriety, i would love to hear more about how getting sober might have been connected with the other happenings in 2019 and in life . R. K. it was, i came out in late august of 2019 and after a long weekend of kind of looking at my life and being like what have i done, for the better, or they difference, i realized alcohol was no longer serving me in my life. A lot of the times when i could have been seeking healing or understanding or reflection i look for alcohol instead, i might not have had when people would classify as an addictive personality or alcoholism, i knew that alcohol had a negative relationship and it never made anything better, my partner was also sober, and year sober as well, seeing someone live a life of sobriety and live a life of connection and still be in entertainment and doing what they wanted and achieving their dreams, having that Guiding Light was huge in my own journey. Congratulations on your book and your ability to be your authentic self. I am wondering whether or not as you move from one professional team to another team, alastair tampa bay and so on, the teams from tampa bay and so on, did you feel like you were discriminated against because of your sexuality . That you may have been able to hang with some of those teams if you had not if there had not been an indication that you might have been bisexual . R. K. i can say that i am not sure about that experience, i was not out at the time, and there were multitudes of reasons why teams turned me down that will also make sense to me, even being the pro Football Player i am, understand that. After coming out, i was getting calls prior to after coming out, i do not receive any more calls from leagues. I can also say that i think that there is only one out active player right now in the league is evidence not of discrimination, but there is not enough being had to make layers feel comfortable and included. I talked about in this book which is about the choices in my life dr. Chase conspiracy or wonder about the things that could have or should have for me, because my life is so full and i believe i have been in my purpose but i want those people coming up in the league to not have the fear of being discriminate against, no regardless of how they identify, there will be judged purely off of their ability to help a team win. That is my goal today. Roswell with the festival of books and tshirts from l. A. i am also bisexual and i was wondering about your journey between a finding that out because i know a lot of people like struggle between my gay, bisexual, i just want to know what the journey is for you . R. K. i knew in college i was not straight but bisexual i did not feel like an option, it felt like i was told that bisexuality was for individuals who were afraid to say that they were gay and holding onto a bit of masculinity, even if that is the case, i understand that as well, it is scary being lgbtq in the world, that a lot of the times we do what we can to survive or to blend or to be accepted. For me, it was kind of a lack of representation or story were Accessible Information or Accessible Information about bisexuality, and made it more challenging, unfortunately i answered a lot of relationships to learn about myself, i think that is what we do, but when i look at it, i shouldnt have done that. It was, i think drawn out, i would say because a lot of the times i was having genuine relationships and feelings with both genders and i just did not see bisexuality as a landing spot, i had to say to myself that this is who i am and i did not know anyone else who was bisexual, after coming out there are so many people who are bisexual why are we hearing why are we not hearing those stories . That is what this is about too, thank you for sharing as well, i appreciate that. Thank you for creating a resource. Thank you for writing this book, my question has to do with more specifically with what would you say to an africanamerican male boy who likes football or like sports, felt like i do not think i am straight . They lived in an environment where there is hate, bullying, would you say to them to give them hope . R. K. with any lgbtq person, especially my priorities about safeties, and yourself or being bothered in any way is a direct conflict to your safety, i would say to prioritize your safety first and foremost overall, i am not of a rose colored glass perception to be yourself and everything will be great. There are a lot of true challenges and systems i would tell them at point them to the people, myself or the people in their own communities doing the work to make sure that lgbtq youth are protected. Out point them to a resource that they have, if not within their communities, online that they could access and talk about because every situation is also different. There are people out there just like you that you being who you are is what makes you special and beautiful and bright and it is your superpower whether you are ashamed for it or bully for it or not. That is regardless of where you are now, you can find the communities, the love, the joy, the happiness. You do not need to change, the world needs to change. Roswell we only have time for one more question. You just answered my question, i am a marching band mother and i want to say thank you because you are the first Football Player who ever had anything i needed to hear [applause] r. K. thank you roswell we will take one question for you. R. K. thank you for sharing your experience, truly, truly wonderful, my question was intersectionality with other sports, what you think the nfl can do better, and mlb has pie nights and certain other pride nights, where do you think the nfl can improve . You think there is some intersectionality between mlb athletes, and nfl athletes . R. K. i think every Major Sports League either has a lesson to learn or a precautionary tale of were not to do, i think looking at mlb and nba, they have ambassadors that are also players, i can also see not being done, intentionally, we are building on the lgbtq plus, we are open to the division and equity, look at the most portly, listening to the players and having them lead social change, be the forefront of that, it is very important as well, the list goes on and the possibilities are really endless. At the forefront it is about building it into your foundation and make sure that the people making the decisions are of the communities that are making decisions about. Roswell i cannot end this without asking a question [laughter] as a prince and a bisexual boy, i have been having a little bit of trouble with my identity. What would you say about finding yourself . What would you say about that . R. K. oh my gosh it is a journey, even at the age of 301i know i do not know everything about myself. At the age of 31, i know i do not know everything about myself. I hope people are helping you to challenge her own concepts and the concerts around you, of you should be or who you are, i think that as time goes on you will feel more yourself, i think you will find people who see you for you and love you and accept you as who you are and that is ok to challenge the world around you. World is not perfect, it is ideas made up by other people. It is ok to challenge ideas. And i love you, and i appreciate you being here. Thank you roswell that is such a perfect way to end this, rk russell everyone, on behalf of the library of congress, if you are for coming to the National Book festival joining us now on is author richard. Here is his book. Its called go big the Marketing Secrets of richard, a viguerie. Mr. Viguerie, what do you do for a living living . My mother went to her grave a few years ago, not really understanding what did. I was fortunate. Back