Huntington the official book seller for the event and as usual 10 of proceeds from back sales donated to newsday charitys covid19 long island relief fund. To learn more you can go to newsday charity. Org and the first 50 books published will receive an autographed copy. Outy gold is an american standup comedian, actress, tv writer and producer, won two daytime emmy wards for on the rosy odonnell show. She has specials hbo, comped central and logo and she currently hoes the podcast kill me now. I want to say put your hands together for judy gold but we cant do that. Who. You can say put your hand together while youre washing. The and sing happy birthday. I like that. Twice. And staying away from everybody. Exactly. They can clap at home. Thats fine. You can clap. Just dont clap someone elses hands. Two drink minimum here. Yeah. Do you want to give a little whats your elevator pitch for the book . How do you describe the book for people . I dont hoe how to describe it. People take Different Things from the book. It really is about freedom of speech, from the perspective of a comedian. And humor and satire, and its really about i mean theres so many different chapters about so many Different Things. If you love comedy, theres a lot of history, and theres a lot of amazing, amazing material, and people have been telling me im reading it and learning so much and then hysterically laughing. And i feel like its such a necessary book in this cancel culture and because we have no sense of humor anymore. Have to laugh about something. Right. And to be not have to feel guilty every time youre laughing. Do you know what mean . Every joke is not about you. And i just think i dont know. It is an educational book but its a really funny book. Well, its funny we talked about this earlier but it is sort of a collection of all these great jokes from history, too. You sort of like dug through the history books to get jokes of different kinds. Was that in your process or you thinking about i want to showcase all these different kind of jokes . Well, i think the only way to really prove my point for each chapter because its sort of like a its an argument and its broken down to chapters and little elements of each argue. And why humor is so important and satire is so important to free speech. And i real the only way i could prove my point was saying here is the evidence. Here is the example. And one of the main things i wanted to say in the book is, you know, comedians get on stage for one reason to make you laugh. Thats it. That is our goal the minute with get on stage. When you take intent context and nuance out of the joke and just aside, he or she said that word i dont like the way she looked in that, i dont like what he was doing when he said that joke. When you dont take the entire bit into consideration, and what the intent of the what is the comic trying to say, then you lose out. When someone murders someone and is on trial for homicide, their sentence is based on their intent. That is it. And yet we dont consider intent when we are listening to a joke. We just get insulted. Its ridiculous and i also another thing i would love for people to realize, is being offended is a choice. Its a choice. And you can be offended and then its what you do with that. A comedian says something you dont like. So many people are like they should never be able to do standup again, yet you have a strong writer who you love that writes a song you dont like, all right, thats i like that was one of my favorite points you made here. If you go to see a concert maybe you dont love this song and you just kind of like sit there through the song, but maybe other songs during the concert that you enjoy but when you good to a comedy club where you hear one joke thats really bad or offends you or whatever anden you tune out for the rest of it. How do you hard time. What do you do in that situation in how do you kind of recover from that . I feel like the longer you have been doing comedy, the more you know you just know. And after a certain point, been in the business a longtime people come to see. You its your fans who are coming to see you. When that sort of thing happens for me, i believe its the comedians job to point out the elephant in the room and talk about it and i will say all right i cant believe you hated that. Youre going to turn on me . Whatever is going on in my head is what i will express to them because it really is such a give and take. The comedian and the audience, we get so much from you you get so much from us and its sort of this its sort of like a conductor conducting an orchestra. And you have this nice passage in the back about doing a standup set in florida i think it was where you have a trunk bit and it doesnt really land, and then you had to recover. What is your how do you kind of what is in your mind in those moments, as youre doing that recovery. Is it are you annoyed at the audience . Something in your craft you decide thats a good question. I think every comedian gets on stage and we take a risk. There are bits that go either way. And you have to decide. You open usually you know you start doing a few jokes. Youre like they like this. Theyre probably not going to like that. You get this youre editing all the time. You adjust. Right. Sort of like jazz. Its like jazz improv but i write about this in the become, that during this administration, its never before have audiences just hated you because of your political leanings. It has never been like that. We have made fun of every president. Like, reagan no matter what their affiliation, reagan, bush, clinton was like a gold mine for all of us. George w. Bush. Everyone. Obama, and for some reason, we have gotten to this point where, i needed to write this book and w. Were so divided and that if you dont think like me politically im not going to laugh at the rest of your material. Its like we have more in common than we dont than we have innovate in common and comedy is a unifier. When everybody is in a room laughing together, its like, hey, were in this together. Its so powerful. Its weird that has been the hardest part for a lot of comedians. The vitriol we get if we do a bit about trump or and it comes from him. He has no sense of humor, cant have a comedian at the white house correspondnts dinner he wanted to investigate snl. I wright about Lyndon Johnson in the book, this smothers brothers were crucifying him on their show, and youre too young for that. Ill just nod along. For people of my age. A great show, a variety show and very comp immediatans or social commentators and the show was commenting on social issues. Youve write it was a something a lot of other comedians took from later. Right. Loved it. Absolutely. And come immediate yeps tell the truth comedians tell the truth which is why were so threatening so the smothers brothers crucified Lyndon Johnson but his daughters lovedded the show. And when they were canceled, one of the smothers brothers were canceled, i Lyndon Johnson, who had been dealing with he didnt love what they were talking about, the vietnam war and he when they war condition sell head he wrote them letter and said, look, its not easy being fodder for satire but that is part of my job, and part of being in this country that where we have free speech it and was my honor, it was my honor to be. Lambasted. Ways, and i wish you the best. And that do you think that what . Go ahead. The these where we should be. Its interesting. When someone mocks me when all my come nick friends mock me, i think its hilarious. Its like badge of honor. It really is. And someone did a bit about me on snl id be like, oh, misgod, i arrived. Amazing. Yeah. People really take themselves so and way too seriously. Right. Right. Do you to go on a less serious note for a second. One of my favorite jokes from the book is the so long joke that you with your mother. Can you give a little bit of that, just give people a sense of these jokes. I wish i had it with me. This is before cellphones. So i have left my apartment and my mother completely paranoid thinks like every time i left the apartment, she thought something would happen to me. I dont know if put this in the back but there was years ago the dart a guy called the dart man. I think it was like the late 90s and he was literally throwing darts at womens asss in the subway and it was i remember it was on the post, be ware of the dartman and i remember my mother leaving me an answering machine message right after the story came out and it literally said, judith, wear think clothes. I mean so, one time i had left my apartment and i went to my Agents Office and i was waiting in the waiting area and i was like, ill call my mother because its free. We had to pay Long Distance before you were born. And were talking on the phonemileperhour elbow hit the phone and we get disconnected and i didnt call her right back and i froth to tell her i was in my Agents Office when i was calling her. So she thinks something happened to me in my apartment and she then im dead, and she called me up screaming, the whole message is like where are you . Im a wreck im going to call the neighbor, and then literally at the end she says, so long. The shocks jeffrey daimler has my body and she says, so long, at the end of the message it and was so real that i literally would play this message only stage it. It became one of my signature bits. If literally would play it because there was theres some things that just cant recreate, and i it really and proves i would talk but my mother so much of my action and at the end i would play this and it was just the perfect ending. You kind of bring everyone into the family. Yeah. The central argument of the book seems to be that theres this shame based culture that many comedians are frustrated with and that viewers shouldnt get angry at comedians for a bad joke or Something Like that. Something that is bad for that people what i do wonder is you also write that some jokes are bad. That shouldnt be said, like about aids. Just not funny, like you lay out some very unfunny jokes. That you say shouldnt be done. Do you think is what we are doing arguing the boundaries of the discourse . Maybe bring it in here, i is it more than that . If say there are maybe i say i decent think they should be doesnt i dont say you have no right to say them. Like i really believe you have a right to say whatever. But i think the basis of that argue. In the book is if youre going to talk about aid or the holocaust or whatever, kids in cages, racism, antisemitism. It has to be funny. Outcome tackle that issue but you better craft a beautiful joke around it, because gratuitously spewing epithets or just shock value humor with no joke attach to it, thats not what we do. Thats not what great comedians. Do a great comedian makes you think and laugh at the same time. Like, so, i write about im a lesbian and i came out in me mid90s but came out on stage as a gay parent, because i was i had finally have our first son i was like every comic talk about their family. Im going to talk beaut my family. And i had so much material. Before that it all talk but my mother and never talked about my partner because itself was boring. Then we have this kid and its like, oh, my god, theirself is amazing. Theres so much material here and but also things people say to you it and was just hilarious, and so im doing this material, and after a few minutes most of the parents in the audience who were straight, would be laughing because its the same stuff. Its the same stuff youre going through. And at one point i used to do a bit in the late 90s, early 2000s, because its interesting how far lgbtq communities have come plus wherever theyre ibacd whatever. We have come so far and yet you have children and it was the early 2000s and my kid were why want you get married it . Was ridiculous. So i did a bit about all the people allowed to get married and i cant get married. Like, eric and lyle melendez, killed their parents and got married in jail. Mary kayla turn know married her 12 year old student. Ervan does ski married. And it was infuriating and i wrote this bit and i was in houston, and a guy like a military guy said to me after the show, i really see what you guy is want to get married now. I understand it. It was just, oh, my god. Its so the power of comedy is so amazing. It break so many signature mas because when you laugh with someone you like them. Its disarming. When i also talk about comedians with disabilities. Yes, fascinating. You lay out like a long chapter about that history, yes. And that these comedians would get on stage and talk but their disability in a funny way, in a way in which the audience could see how their life is. They could see the world through their eyes. One was come immediate afternoon who has Cerebral Palsy. A couple i mentioned. Jewel who had Cerebral Palsy and always wanted to be like Carol Burnett and just went on stage and just talk but her Cerebral Palsy, gary coleman talk about his depression. Theres children of immigrants who talk about what its like to have immigrant parents or and you its just a amazing the way a joke can trick you into changing your minds. One thing that you write about this stereotypes, how stereotypes are used in sometimes misused in jokes which i think maybe is part of the question what is okay to say and what is not. What is the role of stereotypes in humor . Well, the thing theres first of all i write about stereotypes and they did not just come out of thin air. They are from generations and generations of history and our ancestry and thats where i to they came from. But they do serve a purpose when theyre used correct live. And i think i used an example in the book, if if described like an italian guy or i could a a typical italian guy or tony soap plan you would get that vision in your head andown youre on stage and youre a storytell are or joketell are its just. You its just your words. Youve need to create a vision in peoples heads and often times if you use a stereotype correctly, to tell the story, or to inform the audience, it can be acceptable, but its really again thats point, has to be funny. You cant just say, use it just to were with no joke. Its not the punch line. Its a Building Block maybe . Yeah, exactly. And i used to get in so much flak from the jewish press because i would talk about my mother all the time. And i remembered this one from the jewish daily forward was like, youre promoting stereotypes. And im like, im doing my mother. Thats exactly what she said and thats exactly how she said it. And youre sitting in your little apartment on the upper west side, surrounded by likeminded people and im like in arkansas or alabama, taling talking about my jewish mother and introducing people to other kinds of people. Right. On the other side makes me think of the famous ppelle told a joke but 0 racial stereo deep and a white person was laughing at him, innovate with him. When is that not with him. Are you negotiating that line . Yes, i think that when youre doing material and i talk but this with andrew do is andrew dice claire and stories but Richard Pryor and George Carline who start effort tie, put button down suit, shirt i want to say the word proper, not that they were improper but you know. And they were doing this jokes and both of them had epep anies of epiphanies of looking at the audience and saying that is not who i am. So i think like even dice clay, who does the most outrageous material . Why because its outrageous and its funny, makes you laugh. When he looks in the audience and sees that people are actually believing outer laughing for the wrong reason he will call you out on it and that is and i think that chapell thats exactly right. When you realize what youre laughing for the wrong reason, then you have to make a depression die i want to do the show for these anymore there are going to be people who get it for the right reason but its so disconcerting when youre on stage and you realize theyre laughing at that because of that. And its thats where intense comes in. Intent questions. Thats not where the joke is, guys. Huh. Im going to do a few questions were getting in. This is like a little crowd work here. Do it. This one from david who says, as a standup comedianing on long island i face disgruntled crowds and hecklerred. Can you share some encounters with hecklerful have you ever been human being el beside a long id leaner. Yeah. Ive been called every name in the book. Im so used to it. I would really love to know you have to realize that theres hecklers comes is the only standup where people come there and try to screw you up while youre doing your job. You dont good toure accountant and were like, five, nine, 52 five dollars, interest said. Thats not right. Yeah. You really need to shut them down. I think the best way to deal with a heckler is to be brutally honest. You know, i have had every kind of ive said fuu, everything. But im like really . You came here to ruin who are you trying to impress here . A out of teams people are disgruntled battles have the had a bad day or a crappy date. Dont take it on on the kole comedian. I say call them out on it. I know this is a family theres a sevensecond disease lay on this. Call me, call me. Whats your favorite long island venue to perform at . I love governors. I love governors. Havent been there in a while. Hello, governors. Right. Forever. Ive been i remember when in the late 80s. It is you think of long island comedy, you think of governors. Another club east Side Comedy Club in long island . Years and years and years ago. Mid80s. But i love those guys at governors. Theyre great. And they love comedy. Yeah. This one from claudia who says what is your best advice for young female comic just starting out. Well, i always say, its sad that you have to say that youre female. That is claude yaw youre going to hear a lot of crap, and heres the advice a woman comedian gave me when i had first started. Because you deal with so much crap being a woman to standup. You deal with crap bag woman anywhere but because comedy youre in a position of power and we equate power with masculinity, in this country, but be true to yourself, dont ever let anyone tell you what to say or do on stage. Once you get on stage thats your time. You earned it. Its a marathon, not a sprint. Never compare yourself to anyone else. Youre going to hear so much misogynistic crap. Is nor it. Just write and the only way to back great comedian and this true no matter who you are, is to get on stage because theres something you get from being only stage that you cannot get from sitting at a computer and writing. You have to be really comfortable up there. And the only thing that make as great come immediateandstage time. And go anywhere, i have performed i cant tell you lunch rooms, College Lunch rooms, street fairs. Just performed at the belair in queens, they had a drivein Movie Theater. I performed on the back of a flatbed truck at drivein movie. The audio was going into the radios, so theyre in the car and they would laugh by flash likers. Hey, audi, someone need an inspection. Look to mercedes, doesnt like the jewish jokes. Itself was retick ridiculous. Im 57 years old and im on the back of a flatbed truck because i love being a standup and just be true to you. Dont and dont let other people that joke is not funny or shouldnt talk about. That talk but whatever you want to talk about. Go, claudia well see claudia soon. Could you fine that comedy is craft . Is it innate talent . How do you can someone without talent teach themselves how to be a comic . If dont think you can you cant learn funny. You cant. I do think the is a craft part of it. You look if if think of Jerry Seinfeld or jim gaffigan or care lffer. There are people who they do craft their material, and it is methodical. Interesting. And then there are other people who get up there, i have notes up there and i will think of a bit, or Say Something funny, or and i will put notes on a card and i sort of work it out on stage. A lot of comics work their that is the thing. This ifs the other thing mark that you i really would be upset if we didnt get to this. Standup comedy when you talk but the craft of and you talk about can you learn funny, you cant, but it is the only art form where the audience sees your work in progress. So, we need you to inform us and people like oh they went over the line, 99 of the time we didnt know where the line is until you tell us, and i its like a painter will be painting a huge oil painting masterpiece, and when its a tenth of the way done they dont get an audience together and say, here it is, shy put a tree there . What do you think of the sun over there . Crowd sourcing. The only art form that we need you. So you cant vilify us for doing our job, and im talking about when you come to a governors, or a comedy cellar or new york comedy club. When you see comedians working out their material, you have to were putting ourselves out there and trying to write these bits and we need you, and needing you doesnt mean you say, just saying thats it, you should be canceled because you are part of the yes, part of the process. If someone does cross over the line. Lou kris c. K. Did a first set post situation on long island and that was a whole thing we route about and people what happened after that line is crossed what louis ck. He cross the line not on stage. I have a chapter called theres a reason its called an act. And bill cools by bill cosby is a bench example of that. Louis dish was there the night he first went on stage at the comedy cellar, and it was interesting. He had been gone not doing set for ten months and then went back on stage and didnt talk about it, and that is where i think he was made a bad decision. That is what everyone is thinking. You cant get on stage and think you can go back to being the old louis because we all, everyone has more information about you and a different opinion about you. And so that is going to inform them whether or not something is funny. But i also he should be able to people are like he should never work again. Why. If he was writer he could sit and write. Heres a standup comic and if you dont want to see him dont go see him. If your a comedy club booker dont book him. And if a youre in the audience and just pops by, eave place will give you your money back, but you have to separate the comedian from their act. I talk about could coco chanel was embedded with the nazis and i did a joke on everyone has a chanceel and its like, fretts it. It would have been over. Lets they can addressing the elephant in the room. An elephant in the room is a gift for a comedian. You have an audience thinking the same thing, or focusing on the same thing. And what a better no better setup. I talk but paul rubens. After he get arrested for i guess he was at a pornographic Movie Theater and was arrested and the first time he was on stage after that, at the mtv music awards, and he walked up to the mic and hes like, i dont know Something Like, so, how has everyone been very mart of fact. Anything new . And it was broke comedy breaks the tension. It alleviates tension. Its a coping mechanism. And if youre going to banish laughter you should ban issue it wisely. Interesting. This question from ruth who asks that is my mothers name. Love you, ruth. This is your mother. Shes asking a question. Shes dead. Okay. Yes. Do you think sometimes people are embarrassed to laugh for fear of offending someone in. Yes, and i think that the more that we are comfortable with ourselves and educated, we can be comfortable with laughing and knowing what were laughing at. This whole idea, like the whole back came about because vice news on hbd did a piece but college bookers who were telling comedians what they could and could not say on stage at their colleges. And i was the opposing viewpoint on that piece, and Harper Collins asked me to write this book, and i dont know where this idea that we can never feel uncomfortable came from. Like that is wrong to feel that we have to protect ourselves from feeling uncomfortable. Every safe space as door that leads to real world. Thats not reality. The fact we give everyone a trophy, like, you win a trophy because you broke the record and won the race, and you get a trophy for smiling while with did it. Thats ridiculous. We are going to feel offended. We are going to feel hurt. We are were going do have all these feelings, but we should be okay with that and recognize them, and instead of trying to shield ourselves from having any feelings that we deem bad or uncomfortable. As i said, a joke is tension. Youre like, youre waiting and then, oh, and its a relief. We have to stop take ourselves to seriously and this idea that everything is about you. He was talking but no, he want it, she wasnt talking about you because we dont know you. Its ridiculous. Another question that came in. Have abraham. From the bible. Have you ever felt the need to apologize . Hmm. For a joke . I guess. So thats the implication. Not just generally. Need to apologize . I have said instances where ive been on stage and i have i love doing crowd work and for much of my career if did crowd work. We get a lot of material and i loved doing crowd work. And its so funny because i was like you do a lot of 0 crowd work and thats not great for tv and now everyone has crowd work tv shows. Ive been doing crowd work forever, and i have gotten myself into like i remember one night i was at the comedy store and there were these three people, they were celebrating. I said what are you celebrating and one woman said i have cancer and im getting my leg taken off tomorrow. Amputated tomorrow and i was like, oh, my god. I am so i cant oh, wow. So, i guess shy put my foot in mouth. Oh, im sorry. And they loved it. They loved it. And i had one guy wearing sun glasses the whole show but he look like such a jerk and you think youre and there is a cane next to him. Of course. Oh, um, what is going on . You are having a Family Reunion . No, our father died last week and we are trying to laugh. I dont apologize but i try to use it and it turns the situation around. It really does. But i have a couple of jokes hat are holocaust related, that i have had to explain people have said, not no one who is a child of Holocaust Survivors has every complained but its other people who dont know. Oh, thats terrible. You cant laugh at that. When you have no knowledge of something you cant really make joke s about them. But i have had to say i do that joke, i bring up anne frank every night when im on stage. It is what it is. Its again the idea of intent. Interesting. I am going to read this one because its very well instructed for me. This is from tabitha who says mark please read this word for word. Hello, judy your funny, wonderful and effortless, thank you for being here. Me question is how do you maintain your enthusiasm for life . I read it word for word. Tabitha. Wow, enthusiasm for life . You know, i really have to say laughter. I not only i love to laugh. My kid, we laugh. I have to say my partner and i if i its really a sense of humor. My mother would always say if we werent laughing, we would be crying, and that is exactly it, and theres nothing like a good laugh and learning stuff is so interesting. And, look, i would love to have millions of dollars and never have to work again, but i cant do that, but the fact that i love what i do, like i hate the traveling and all this other stuff but when i get on the stage, i mean, that is an end to think in jokes. All the time were thinking jokes. If think it my zest for life comes from laughing. And having to laugh. Right. One more. But thanks again for coming. Youre so cute. One thing i love but the book which here we go, is you talk but how great the idea of a home club is. Where is your home club now and how are what is a home club in the age of coronavirus . Its such a good question because kind of brings back everything we said but the elephant in the room. Theres not a better time for standup. We need to laugh so much, and were all in the same boat. So, theres so much there. But my home club is this comedy cellar, and when i say home club, i have to tell you this is sort of what tabitha was asking. I can have a horrible day. I have depression, anxiety, and i get on that subway and good down to the cellar and i walk in, and im surrounded by people comp comedians who i have known forever. Its like a home and to be able to get on stage and take risks and talk but whatever youre going through, it is surrounded by these are like me brothers and sisters. Its a very tightknit community. It is comforting. Im like, everything is going to be okay. Im home. Yes. Well, thanks, judy, a big thank you for joining us tonight. Thank you for having me. I can say its is available at book review and 10 of proceed goes the newsday cheers