Ongoing of in los angeles. [inaudible]. As well as michael, our meet up and others. Meanwhile, you also find many of our boxes available in our childrens library. Check out the minitab our homepage. Youtube channel. Where we listen to podcasts. Town hall and Nonprofit Community at large. Wif you made the donation, we hope you will consider supporting us at this time by using the donate button at the bottom of the screen. It also become a member. You can also give at 4432 is somehow pretty and a partner bookstores have also been hit by the covid19 outbreak. They need your support as well. Independent source by purchasing a copy of the book. Theres a link on the page. Todays conversation is around 35 minutes. And we will take questions. Please submit your questions on the ask. Question button on the podcast. They may not be able to answer every question but we will try to get to as many as possible. Townhall, appreciates your support. Supported by arts and culture. Finally, townhall support organizations and we would like to thank all of her members watching. Theres a chicago office, memoir, the tents to blog. Shes a cowriter. The advice blog. In addition she has a cohost the show the sunday night special breed. [inaudible]. And also because the glory. And collaborate with another read in the work has appeared New York Times bestseller list. On the best nonfiction. In another nonfiction writer and author and narrative Nonfiction Book of the raging silence of pregnancy. The best book of 2018. And the Washington State book award. And by the New York Times. [background sounds]. And the work has appeared in the New York Times. Bon appetit. [inaudible]. This book, wow the subject, please join me in welcoming the author. Either. Thank you for thank you townhall. Support books where you could buy books. And thank you sam for being here. Thank you for having me. Im going to turn into a pumpkin. [laughter]. Fully appreciate even more in your presence here. I will definitely keep it to an hour. Okay. Youre talking earlier this week to dig a test run of the townhouse that. We have up to 90 minutes times like i dont think we will be here for 90 minutes. It seems like a lot of time. I can do anything for more than like an hour before really start dating braided and it was like before in the before times. Announce light, im withering. My life forces withering. Its like i need to take to be awake or something. [laughter]. Megan so for the audience, we are so happy that you are here. Im going to steal your energy. But useless you know, im graciously agreed term sam is a graciously agreed to read something in the book. But i want to give a little bit of an introduction talk about with the book is meant to be in this moment. In this light pandemic times, everything feels different and on some level. Like loki all of the time. Even like of joy. A moment like the world is falling apart. We have no plans to say people figure this out. So when i was reading your book, i was like what is this that i feel. I feel just happiness it doesnt feel complicated and it doesnt feel like i was going to fall off. In the second of this. The book has been sorry doing away presented to a component. This is big. Your book was an instance number one best seller with the New York Times. This is one measure. So for the last six weeks, it was in the bookstore bestseller. It is weird. Its kinda messed up to say that you are killing it during this pandemic. But you are. And the thing about it is for those thinking about it that way, its another reason probably likes pure joy. Because anyone during the pandemic, is a sad black clear lady who not long ago was a looker who has a number of chronicle illnesses. And morbidity. Youre like the demographic that our society has decided its okay. Seriously. Meanwhile, youre out here getting in life. Because originally when i was trying to go up with the title, the onestop of my list was dying is fine of the top of my list for the name of the title of my book. Is what we are doing every day. Angela im glad you talked me out of it. Megan like your success is been an actual like sense of real joy to me. Because it feels like in this moment, like some bit of justice. Like we might not otherwise have. So i dont know. I just wanted to say that thank you. Just being real. Angela i dont know how to gracefully accept a complement without deflecting it. But i will say thank you. And dont know if its just as to say thank you. It is good. I deserve it. No. I can making it weird because i dont know like to have people say nice things to me. Sam most normal people will not normal there is not normal but regular people have a hard time with that. Angela yet and that is fine. Angela i would much rather be hearing myself on the loudspeaker. [laughter]. Instead of looking at my actual face. Sam now you can hide behind the book and read. Sam so im going to read from this is a request, my favorite thing is for someone to tell me what they want to hear. And angela wanted to hear this little bit from negativity, body nativity. From this book, they hope you will purchase. The body nativity is essentially peace about all of the things that we are told that we have to do to have a body and how a good body and have a healthy body or a goodlooking body. And how i dont think any of those things are possible. After a normal person. Okay. So what is happening yourself right now pretty to even know. How much here is on your back. His skin soft. And years of spending everyday in a straitjacket type brought left weird marks on it. Are you molds doing. What is up with eddie weird scaly patch. Are you already so tired from all of the other things he has to keep track of that you cannot be bothered to worry about the part of your body that you cant even flipping see. I feel that. I think the last time that i actually thought to myself, wonder what is going on my back and i think it was in 2002 when i was sleeping with this dude who lived in the apartment who lived below five arbitrated he would say weird stuff during like you are so warm inside. I love looking at your back while we are making love to my rear end. I left the first time that he said the one thing because im sorry, what. What if you been with corpses. Do i have undiagnosed measles. Anyway, i wouldve tried to make my back nicer for somebody you enjoyed looking at us. So i bought a pack scrubbing lupus taken almost dislocated my arm trying to remove the dead layers of skin on my back with so much force that it bled braided and then i would support motion on the one end after my shower try to slather it on. Because i had anticipated have tried and roth the trick is part of body to reach was going to feel after having trimmed years off of dead still subscribe off of it. I ended up having to back of his hotel rock and gingerly rub myself up and down against the bright help try to get the lotion to absorb into my wounded skin. My freshly baby back ribs, didnt feel right for weeks. So they sent the homeboy knocked on my door inappropriately late at night, he did some accidentally living into my pain is long enough to ask, ouch made. Did you follow you back. Do you want me to put some bandages on this. Use reminding me for nobod and u should never do anything nice ever for anyone. So examine all of this that you could do but no who could possibly keep track of all of this to have a nice check. And when you move pretty they should be addressed in their own. Im talking about the piece of real estate between your neck and were groups began. Here is how i take care of my chest. Sometimes when i west my face but only after ive taken a shower, i will accidentally squeeze out too much moisturizer or put too much oil into the palm of my hand and frantically looking around the bathroom trying to find some way of disposing of it and doesnt include dribbling it all over the floor. It was donny to my morning fog linkages rubbing on my chest have a weirdly shiny just like for the first few hours of the day. I know the back acne is a thing but a pretty sure i also have chest acne, but sometimes i get these little bumps and why did i survive puberty, in a weird way that is going to be being clear so ill at the drugstore trying to figure out which of the options available were best o m. Your breasts are supposed to be set right up and region for the moment they unexpectedly sprout on her chest. Until your 99th birthday. But you know what, i cant do it. I do not have them and thats okay. I think turning my nipples to the nape of my neck days are over prayed i keep telling myself like a mantra is people already know which body looks like. So you dont have to try anymore. My breasts are shaped like summer squash. Just like im unwilling to fight with gravity of these large bags of what sand handing pension hanging below the articles are no longer going to be in a daily battle. Are they human. Are they lifted. They separated. Does the benefit pretty is the copyright. Is the underwear dig. Is the brought flat against her skin. It does accrete create weird bumps. Is a breathable. Scratchy. Does it wick moisture. I heard that something youre supposed to watch for braided wait a minute. What were we talking about again. Theoretically everyone loves the strong broad shoulder nobody tells you how to get one. So guess you have to be born with them are thats what the sub machines at the gym and make you look like a bird flapping in painfully heavy winds are for. Michelle obama the Gold Standard for arms. Im sure is about the interview with her trainer and how they got that way. But life is short invest in some nice cardigans. Vaseline on your elbows. Where sweatshirts 365 days a year. Thats our definition. Maintenance is a whole thing you can like i have, review all the possibilities and occasionally spring some herbal deodorant that doesnt work into your dark arms to keep wild dogs off of you. Or wax or sugar or shave or laser the hair off. Debbie was something to prevent and grounds. However it and deodorize it. Every day, every couple of days. Weekly. I guess it all depends on what kind of care you have and whether or not youre taking vitamins. I definitely and by the way. Because i love these effects even if its not real pretty sure number of available deodorants to choose from is staggering. I dont know how person make an informed decision without setting are getting a bachelors degree chemistry pretty is to just be like, do you want to smell my baby powder cherry blossom. Every time you raise your arm in class grade and now to say, would you rather be sweaty 100 percent of the time or destroy your brain. Was i supposed to keep writing. Samdo you wanted me to keep reading. Sam oh, i cannot hear you coming your mutant. Sam i am back pretty. Angela okay you are back. Sam sorry everybody. I felt like this was the case that the main. I want to hear you read. I needed to hear, a little bit. I needed to hear you out loud. Like this thing pretty. Angela i forgot when you told me to stop and i thought wait. This whole thing is pretty long. Sam is a privately heavy semi voice memo. The brazilian boxer pretty. Angela i will call you and give you a personal reading after this. Sam what else. Thank you for that. Theres so many things that your work touches on. But what i love about it is fundamentally its about being in your body. When you write about your body, your writing about every way that it interacts with every level of society with its institutions ready for interpersonal. This is the way you see yourself. Thats why it probably resonates with so many people. Because what you are saying is things like the standards that were supposed to hold her body still are impossible. And you have to be rich to even be able to come close to doing thats. So everyones body is a mess is falling apart and filling us. But theres no such thing as a good body. His life in your gear. And, i think like there is that what youre saying is is enough to have a body. And its okay to be okay with that. Angela at the end of the chapter, i cant get into this is the something that has actually person dealing with Crohns Disease is that all of the things that you are supposed to eat, to keep her body going and it is like if you truly eight the 12th cups of kale or whatever, you would never stop eating. Like all of the things that you are supposed to eat in addition to all of the things that you want to eat. And then the things that you want to eat and which supposed to eat. I would eat 14 cow stomachs to get through all of that. Theres this idea that someone somewhere is doing it right. Someone out there is getting all of the folic acids they need during the day and all the vitamins. But if no one i have ever met. [laughter]. Like the idea that they can never be me. Its impossible. Im must never going to like get all of the nutrients in need. But the fiber this and that. Sam bullet also takes out part of the things like eating like, for pleasure. Just your job. Its basically like a fulltime job but youre talking about. Like you want some joy in that. [laughter] i really wish that this was something else. I just want us all to be free enough to like say that i am not getting in. [inaudible] and thats fine that will be good for me theres also this idea in our culture that if you were going to dear optimal kale net situation. And somehow youd be more healthy or perfectly healthy and thats a good thing. Theres this idea that if you are healthy, you were superior to other people. What about people who are disabled. People living with these problematic inconvenient bodies, right . We are no less a good. Right. I would much rather do whatever i am going to do and have that shape a few years off. Talking to my sons dad who would watch some documentary and he was like, you know, you have people watch like old people watch a documentary im thinking they are a professor all the sudden. When im like you watch one movie. He came to me was like you know youve got a cut out and youve gotta do that. And i was like man if you are 72 and, you know counting your potatoes or whatever. What is the point . Why even lived to be that age if you cant eat ice cream all day if you want . So you can be live at 90 . No way. Im actively decomposing all the time. I am just going to do whatever i can do to get to the next day. Is dying is fine. Make yeah. Sometimes its a salad sometimes its cheese. [laughter] [laughter] host i want to ask you, you write so much about your body and so openly. Where you think that came from . Is it just i know when you started out it wasnt like i am going to be a writer now and this is going to be my thing. But i where does that come from . At stuff that a lot of people are uncomfortable with. Right . Guest i definitely did not grow up with like smart, progressive people, right . And it was like nobody ever gave me a hard time because i was fa fat. But they certainly were not like embrace your body. It you know it was like well, you know, were poor, you look like we look, youre fine. And so i didnt grow up with any kind of radical selfacceptance or anything. I was indefinitely wallowing in selfhatred. But when i started writing. And i started performing my work especially. It felt as scary as it is, and it still scares me, right . I think that people especially perform the good baddie thing bird were i love walking, that whole thing. And i did not ever want to be that. It is not real. It is like, like writing about it ease engine even as uncomfortable as it makes me feel. Well, at least you know what youre getting when you get it. Right . Like if you read something ive written that you know who i am. And i cant like hide from that. I think maybe i started with the crones first to be open about that. Because its like 12th and i dont have to explain what i am going through. I dont have to like tell you. If you read something i you know im going to be in the bathroom for 35 minutes break dont call an ambulance or whatever. When i think when writing about my body was kind of the same thing. I remember dating online. When i had a profile in my name obvious that people know what theyre getting because my name was far. [inaudible] [laughter] but i was like all my pictures were very honest. Kind of exposes that made me feel. I dont never wanted somebody to show up at a bards ao no. Yeah. The most people i saw online was live. Already self more free and my writing to talk about it. So then at least when we meet you are not like oh, i thought you were like a tiny little thing. And im like, actually. [laughter] i mean part of it. [laughter] and its scary. Its different because i write alone, and then i just send things to my editor. And im like write a book befor before. [inaudible] it takes a lot of people who dont talk to me about it, see it before it is published. So it still feel like mine, right . And then once its out to the world i cant take it back. I have said these things, i know everyone has read them. And so were just going to talk about it. It feels less scary, especially now because i just kind of righted in my little hovel, send it off. And months later comes back in a book. I dont. Reporter it until they send me like the first pass at it. And im like oh, i put that in here . Obviously i wrote it and. [laughter] host youre saying, the words i picked up on is free, i was loose when i was writing that. I was in that place were i felt selfconscious this is like what i need to say. When you make yourself free because if you are arty sort of saying the things that you imagine maybe people might think or make fun of you or give you a hard time about. If you already said it. Im glad you said that. Because that is a big thing for me too. One i will say anything in service of a joke, right . Like im always trying to get the laugh. And i take aim at myself first. I dont of its punching down comets punching laterally. Like no one is going to get hur hurt. But the thing about, i mean you learn how to deflect bullying when you are young, eager, and you are like a crier or like i am going to make the joke before you make the joke. And then it takes to tease out of your joke because i already said it. If i walked in the door like i am poor and ive shoes from, what are you going to say this going to be worse than that . So i learned that as a coping mechanism. Just to get through the day is punchline after punchline. Host and this not just absorbing and internalizing it which is what allowed people do. Guest there is some of that too. But in the moment i definitely im innocent before you can say. And then later they still said it and it stung but at least i said it first. Sequence of this idea of embodiment people who think are embodied in my mind it means like you are occupying your body and also connected to your brai brain. I finally made the mistake where i imagined that people who are embodied are somehow super healthy. Or have a certain kind of body. But now that i read your work this is a deeply embodied perso person. But you also say have these squad must valves in my ilium. [laughter] when you are dealing with all of this stuff, you acquire, you become an expert. Youre not a scientist but you acquire some terminology. You also acquire the knowledge of that lived experience. Is that what you think about does that seem accurate to say i am a deeply embodied person . That sounds more beautiful than i would ever put anything. Though i appreciate you for giving me that language. Because now im going to coopt it and say i am a deeply embodied person. I think of myself i think we can often feel like my brain is a thing trapped inside this body. And so i know. And it has given me so many problems from so many areas. I am deeply knowledgeable. So it not to get all of this about it, when you have problems and you are in a fat black body and you have to advocate yourself the doctor a lot, you learn that you need to learn see this other doctor that you dont know very well what they need to know when i first started dealing with the crones, i learned all of the stuff. Yet this kind of doctor and that kind of dr. Pretty got know it this one says. So i learned this stuff just in the function of making things easier for me. Im always trying to make my life easier to move through. Once i started writing about it, i would know, what is happening. There you go. We live in the country in her internet is bullshit. As it shut off at 930. [laughter] we dont move to the contrary it is probably a raccoon outside chewing the wires. Whatever. [laughter] the fight disappear send someone after me. So i got to know all the terminology just so i could be more helpful to myself. And then when i started writing about it, i think that is when i was like oh yeah, this is a thing that i have to. I think i have a contentious relationship with my body. But i have learned it so well that i can write about it. And i feel deeply into that despite all of the problems. Host but thats a thing i think having all the problems and being into and with that, i wasted game on this pretty couple years ago pretty cant be in tune with your body less it looks a certain way. That is just bullshit. I would feel like i dont know its not the grass is greener situation, get up i havent had children, i feel like well i cant be as in tune with what my body can do as a woman who has grown a child. I feel like youve got it. Got to be into with your body in a way that i could never, you know understand. Ive grown some tumors. At the you are into with your body because your body is built to do the things doesnt mean that you should or you have to. I think it kind of goes both ways. To know that is not some the you want requires being very in tune with your body as well. Sue and i wanted to ask about, ill just go into it now operates a lets talk about your endometriosis. Spect is to go back to that idea break my heart you kinda glossed over. Im familiar with this feeling when you go into a Doctors Office or a Providers Office are fully prepared for you not to believe anything i am saying pretty prepare for you not to listen. To have to advocate for myself. And so i have questions about these because does this make you menopausal now . Are you perimenopausal . [inaudible] cement or hormones off . What . Guest i am a perimenopausal but i think that is a function of my age. Ablation, i did not need any hormone replacement therapy or anything like that. They just kind of, i mean for a lack of more eloquent way of putting it, nuked it inside. And rendered it nonfunctional. So i still have a uterus. I still have them go to silicate idiot. All of my fallopian tubes, yes. Yes. That just dont do anything any more. I think i must make eggs. Sue and i am like knocking on the door. Do they just fall out . Too they reabsorb . Because there is nothing for them to attach to anymore. Theres like scorched earth. They burn the inside of my uterus. I havent had a. In two years, three years. Something like that. Sue and then eventually adjust go into menopause . At this point they just wither inside you . Guest i dont know when you stop producing eggs. As a fetus you actually come out the baby is all the eggs were going to have. Like this is wild. And so then then they just auteur. So there is a limited number of eggs. So i feel like i know i am on my last few eggs. I am 42 and if you like my. Its just kind of weird now. It has changed. And so yeah, im just curious about that. And the thing to go back to, you write about this in the book i was very angry as i was reading this. You would like i just want to take this thing out. I am not having children. That created a source of shame and discomfort and it is terrible for me. And i want you to just take it out. Host it was so unmanageable. I am a Health Hazard when i leave my home because i just am mike its like the call of the shining elevator scene all the time. But like again i dont know enough to speak confidently. That is when mike insurance gets involved and the doctor and your age and that this and that that. To they were like know it got to leave it in. Host but you got to decide what you can do with your body. Guest is not my choice. There likely will mike they did their thing of taking it ou out. I have to go in for surgery and be completely out. But then they just burned it to a crisp. Host on that note. [laughter] i feel like maybe i was like this is my personal thing i need to talk about. Strict gents. Nones asked me about this. So when its interesting because of the stepbystep process. The knowledge of your body whether you have children or not, right . But you talked about having a dnc. Which is a procedure that i have had after having lost a pregnancy. And they are like before, you might have to go in will have to do this dnc to like scrape out whats left in there. So that is like a thing i am familiar with. Youre having on the flipside is i want to vacate this. I think it is all but these things are tied. Reproductive Health Whether or not you are choosing to reproduce or not. Whether or not you have the right to decide what is going on in your body. Guest and mr. Blue cross and mr. Blue shield got to make the call on what happened to my uterus. But luckily for me, i mean heres the thing, it took. Sometimes it doesnt take. And it took. And i mean, whatever burn potato chips are left inside theres nothing sticking to them. I did up maybe have got to write a thank you note to blue cross blue shield, well you got this one. You didnt have to have a major organ removed purdy fugue want to take it out you should be able to. Moving on to something lighter. This is like another personal thing. We need to talk about the days . Guest i should. So i have like a travel by day is that for the tissue . Can crushed down on you can fill it with water and shoot it up your butt hole. Should have one for your home. I had one. My mom got it for me when i was pregnant. My second or third trimester might want to sit down on the toilet i dont know whats going to happen. I dont know whats going to come out. Me too and im not pregnant. It was very difficult to reach runaway. So she brought me this and i said i did need this and she ordered one force that showed up and my husband and i are like we absently do not need this thing we looked at it for like a month. And then he put it on it within 24 hours belike how did we ever live without this . She got us this fancy one, you replace the whole seat of your toilet. It can warm up and you can control the temperature of the water that comes out. So would a dumb and useless person do this . Because i am not handy. Stomach it is a Remote Control party can definitely do that. Guest about attach it . See what i had my husband do it. Handyman . Oh yeah we have a couple of those around. Need something different. Its just a clean wipe it to drying off you dont want it to be wet. Sunday smear campaign. [laughter] so. Im in a got one. Thats one of the things i wanted to know about. Youre going to spend as much time in the bathroom. I dont know why havent already. I didnt think i knew think is like extra toilet. I think the rest of the worlds hip to it is like everywhere. Throughout asia, right . Summers like its a garden snake. Kind of scary. There are varying degrees. But even if you have that call the cabo which is like a pale the idea being that papers not enough. Its only in america that we have decided that paper is the solution to clean our asses. It is not sufficient. But the water is gentler. I dont think were going to have it paper shortage. Guest look im audit. Im going to order one is soon as we are off this call. I am doing it. What i need. Great. I wanted to ask you about, i have read, he started off as a blogger writing books. Now like time magazines like hey to indigo profile lizzo . I went back and. Reporter the profile. And i wondered, why you why now shes been doing this for a long time. How did you answer that question . [inaudible] and where you are at. I kind of just saying. Ive been doing this for a long time. I built it up. Who are loyal to me. I give a lot of my work away for free. On the selected ten years i still do this newsletter. And i am constantly putting workout into the world. I think theres some of that. And this is like part i dont really understand. It is like marketing, right, like my last book did okay. And so they put your book in more places and send it to more people. So that has got to be a part of it too. But i think also, i know youre asking the bigger question, i think, i mean maybe a time for more Diverse Voices in this space . And people are more open to it. I love me some nor efron or whatever, i dont know that she is what best example blitz go with her. The people who do kind of what i do. And maybe people are more open to hearing some hate my life is dumb jokes from a black woman. I honestly dont the culture is changing, right think there is a shift were just more Diverse People are getting opportunities. I think for me specifically it has been a long time of just hey read this blog, read this thing. As a constantly keep work going. When i have kind of a mask very dedicated group of people. I get messages all the time on instagram on paper like yeah ive been reading your blog since 2008. A lot of that is my and then the internet too, obviously. [inaudible] [laughter] like the fact that people can so easily share my stuff. And i guess that goes back to the giving it away for free. Inviting online. Is that way people can share my stuff. Of that person has about, i remember this thing she wrote at this time that she read or who she wrote a genre that blog part i should write my blog more frankly. Its just kind of this constantly putting things into the world and is it paying off . Stomach thing its interesting that i dont have to give this away for free. I still love heres what i am thinking about. Its like have to keep my day job i have to keep writing should on the internet so im still talking to people. And then again you build, you know its a lot to ask somebody to spend 16 on some sheet you wrote. And theyve known for months they been reading my newsletter or whatever. Its going to be worth the mone money. I kind of builds that trust. Sore as a culture is concerned, i think we are just slowly making a shift to opening more doors for people. And i think, honestly, not to toot my own butts. Host please. Guest my success or the ability the things that have happened to this book especially, more people like me are going to get deals now part and i encourage everyone, heres your collection use mine for a comp. Like by mine. And i think that has happened to. Im sure it we dont really do the same thing. But i am sure like roxanne sold millions of copies there like well, this kind of look like her other two. You know what i mean . The idea idea is not a great science which is what its built on but okay ill take that. Publishers in the industry wake up its also by the way make sensory business standpoint. There are many people who look more like us who are like take our money. If you are a craft capitalist. I think this comes from a local librarian what have you been enjoying and reading . Guest im currently reading i mostly read fictio fiction. I like an escape. Also reading other peoples essays make me feel bad about myself. [laughter] oh, i cant read that book it is too good im going to quit. So i read a lot of fiction. Right now i am reading. [inaudible] it is very good. Also a thriller and a horror book i keep telling people i read this book a while ago called under the rainbow. It is fiction. Its about a fictional town i think in kansas which is the most homophobic town in america. And they sent some yea alliance sends a task force into the tow town. And you get a lot of peoples perspective on the yea courts in this town its really good. I am not good at selling a book. But those are three good ones. Alright. They say they love your tomato soup recipe on instagram. [laughter] certainly modified the question which would you, would you write it cookbook next . Would you ever do that . Heres the thing about when you pick this as your job i will turn down no opportunity for real i would need to get a food person to do it with me so is legit. And they wanted to when with me and somebody else would give us money i would do that. You just pick your favorite top chef contestant. [inaudible] i love top chef. I mean lets do it i had this dream. Maybe i can make it a reality but a cookbook aware a real che chef, like wrote the instructions in a normal way. And then i wrote the lazy how im actually going to do it. Host and have it do you realize you did not use the right amount of flour. And then we take a look of my ugly one. I mean cooking should be inspirational. It should be real. Find me has to be someone you need to diversify your income stream right . Guest is like when you see people doing things and use ao she was desperate. She did not went to have to go working at the gas station or whatever. Thats what its going to be. See what i think people can say that. And maybe you it could be true. [laughter] or if it is actually seems like fun. You dont want to end up, i think it is an element for the rest of the life. I thought youre going to play. [inaudible] guest im going to try it. I hope you made the soup. I want to be like sheldon part one of my personal favorites, top shelf and sheldon. I love gregory. I love melissa. But gregory he had to go and wanted made to win. Member gregory could have one. But melissa was in that season two. They made it to the top three or four. There her mom loved her so much. And think melissas most adorable person. Gregory or melissa. Suing okay. I meant heres a questions little more serious. I think people like to hear from you on this. Someone has an eating disorder be easier to have move as you are a fully embodied person. Have any suggestions on how to start . I currently both hate and fear my body. That is real. Guest i obviously it is kind of tricky. Say if you could do therapy, that would probably help. But, i am not in therapy. So i will tell you the stuff i do. So i have found, that one of the things that has been the most helpful consistently and i do it every day isa do on tumblr now i do it on instagram. I just follow as many different types of people who show their bodies as i can. I just scroll and scroll and scroll of fat people and underwear. And i have to myself, you know i always think like she is so brave. Oh they are so brave. They are not brave. They are just taking pictures of the body within their posting that. That is the thing that has been helpful to me. So its a specific resource. Sure theres hashtags or whatever, i try think, i was going through batgirl flows. That feed earlier. Carissa is amazing. You can search for the before page. You all know how to work it i am too old to tell anybody how to find anything anymore instagram. And jenner has a book and an instagram and a podcast called the bucket diet. And it is about intuitive meetings and i know like listening to a podcast is not the same as therapy. Not every bitty can afford i it. Guest yes. Yes preach she is so knowledgeable. And she makes things so plain and her advice is so good. She is a good resource. I think she is like the diet on all platforms so you can find her and she is incredible. So yeah looking at peoples bod bodys is of the best things about it. Much of an embassy for most of your life. Like feeling like you are alone, you are the only person is such a horrible, horrible feeling. And then like seeing People Living in their bodies, they dont even have to be doing anything revolutionary. They are to sling on the couch or whatever. They are the person that looks like me. And doesnt have whatever hangups i have. I am fully close all the time. I am in sleeves and pants down to the floor. It is not my ministry be in my bra. But looking at people and theres is really helpful. For me. Can justify hours of this way too. Get to a place where it is normalized. Its remarkable to see a range of bodies. And to be able to see your self within them. You almost have to get into it and the absurd amount for you are just kind of it took my initial feeling is horror. I am worried for that person. Like i want to protect them from all the trolls we were going to say nasty things. I have to stop myself from feeling that too. And that scroll, scroll, scroll, look, look, look. It ended up taking years of that. But it has certainly helped. See what i think we will do two more questions but we are creeping up i think 10 00 oclock we are now. Guest thats okay. Host this is from southwestern michigan. And she is fascinated that you live in kalamazoo. And how is the shift from chicago to a place with more middle american mines . How has that been . Chicago is the only im from evans which is just north of chicago. Chicagos only place ive ever really lived very like everyone i know, but not know call my reallife friend is there. So leaving hard just because of that. In coming to a place that doesnt have a lot of public transportation. And restaurants and places to go. And places to occupy yourself. I didnt have a job. No office to go to every day. No purpose. [laughter] other than like sitting in my own. It was really hard because there is nothing here to distract me. There are no big glossy most read go sit in every day. So the adjustment was difficult at first. Unlike there was no typhoon. And i want some filipino food. There is none of that here. I have to like get on the amtrak and go home. [laughter] but on the flipside, what we pay for, this entire house is less than my studio apartment in chicago. And like that is an incredible feeling. We did a drive to the flour for form. Just to warm the car up, we tried to do the long drive. We passed a gas station and a gas was dollar 44. And it was like i cant go back to the kind of traffic were everything is expensive. I cant i dont know that i could go back. So there lots of city things i miss. But they are mostly convenience things. You actually see black people every day . Guest we have a fair amount of black people. We have, i dont know what to call him, the guy who takes care of our lawn but takes care of our whole lives is a black dude. And i remember when i first met him i was like, okay. There is like a whole black side of town. There is like soul Food Restaurant over there. So there are more than i thought there were. But chicago is the most segregated city. [laughter] in america. It is not as there are a lot of alltime there is every type of person there is prethere has been a little adjustment but not as bad as i thought. And i found some good stuff too. I have places i like will not anymore. Before the pandemic i found you in fact when their restaurants. [laughter] guest their restaurants and he purports on we went to. Stu went okay the last question were going to go with is, i love these questions and people in the audience are writers and im a writer myself could you tells a little bit about your writing preference . Guest of course. I always wait until the last possible minute. I have a couple of it so funny i have a couple end of the week deadlines. And its like tuesday night. [laughter] i will give that a couple days. [laughter] so before i lived alone in my old apartment, i was right during the day. It was really important me to it write when the sun was up. I would mostly write on the weekends when i didnt have to work. Like i had one day off during the week that i would write. Now that i live with other people, i need i cant write if people are moving and things are happening. Unsought got to which everybody goes to bed. So i dont start writing until 10 00 p. M. And i will write to two or three in the morning. That is a big shift for me. But the perimenopause, thankfully, keeps me up i dont sleep. So i may as will do something without time. And i have like a desk and lamp in the whole set up. There are lots of books on my desk would look very writerly. I never sit there i said in old beat up armchair with a big pillow on my lap and my laptop on top of that. Mike asked for an actual acacia, i like to make notes. Here i will show you. Hold on. Excuse the close up. Here are some notes for this acacia. What i want to write about a zoom doctor appointment that i have. But if i do another collection ill put that in. I like to make notes. And then i always my main rule is i know how is going to end before it starts. I never start writing a thing until i know how it ends. That is my are you open to changing lawyer doing it . Guest yeah sometimes. But i have to write to an endin ending. I can never, i just will not write a thing if i dont know where im going. Not as my one peace of advice, know where youre going for it doesnt matter how you get there. Just know youre going. See when thank you. Guest thank you this was incredible. [laughter] jump in and do thank you both for such an enjoyable, uplifting informative conversation. Im sure our audience agrees was absently delightful. I went to encourage everyone to buy that book button. We really want to support our bookstore friends. And tonight our bookstore frien friend, so please get a copy of wow, no thank you. If you feel so inclined and you also want to love and support, with got that donate button at the bottom as well. Follow us on crowd cast if you are looking for more ways to spend your quarantine. So yeah, thank you again sam and angela. It has been such a wonderful event. Thank you torstar audience for joining us. Week nights this month we are featuring book tv programs is a preview of what is available every weekend on cspan2. Tonight starting 8 00 p. M. Eastern, we begin with the examines what he calls the new face of socialism. Then Stacey Abrams former democratic candidate for governor of georgia discussing her blueprint to and voter suppression. Later, fox news Chris Wallace providing a history of the lead up to the bombing of hiroshima in august 1945. Enjoy book tv on cspan2. Book tv on cspan2s top Nonfiction Books and authors every weekend, saturday at 8 00 p. M. Eastern, binge watch programs at the late author Christopher Hitchens his books include no one left to lie to, the missionary position, and the trial of henry kissinger. And on sunday at 9 00 p. M. Eastern on after words, youll University Professor pedro ball in his book length of a plasma looks at White Supremacy to the lens of his greatgreatgrandfather, a member of the ku klux klan of post civil war louisiana. He is interviewed by sherrill, authored georgetown University Professor of law, civil rights and social justice. And then at 10 00 p. M. And her book how i lead, Susan Eisenhower simmons of leadership style ever grandfather, president eisenhower and the poor decisions he made during his presidency. Once book tv this weekend on cspan2. Hi everyone