Transcripts For CSPAN2 Award Winning Authors Books 20240712

The frontier into the certain attributes of american identity. Its been the ability and the luxury to use expansion which was built into well before the frontier when it became the symbol of expansion it was foundational to the u. S. Identity and no other nation has been so able to organize its domestic politics through both the expansion and increasingly the mythology of expansion being able to point to the frontier and say respond to social problems and social demands with a promise of limitless for endless growth and these were some of the foundational premises of the Founding Fathers from the beginning. Thomas jefferson and the very First Political track three years before the declaration of independence and the right to move into the right to migrate west wasnt just a natural right that the condition of all natural rights that allowed the ancestors to escape germany as it was comfortabl consular datio the British Isles to the atlantic to of course the new world and it was the ability to escape tierney, jefferson argued that made American Freedom possible. Madison and franklin also understood the importance of expansion in avoiding a lot of problems associated with republican theory at the time and how to maintain the virtue and avoid the concentration of political power to. In federalist number ten to talk about how to avoid factionalism and extremism and the way to avoid what we would call a class warfare. But it was clear he was talking with a concentrated economic power and increasingly the indented populace small republic healthy interests might come into conflict. The private property is to extend and move last. I am not whitewashing the experience in any way. It was a border and there was an enormous amount of violence and cleansing that was the expanding slavery west across the continent but there was still the way one would become central to the book they begin to hold up the frontier as theres more than a place. A by the end of the 19th century, it becomes much more of the scientific substantial creation, the place in which that civilization of freedom or political United States was founded. The impetus for the book i got the idea when it descended on his escalator in trump towers and announced his presidency on june 15, 2016 and he promised to build a great wall and the main tension in the book is how weve gone from the frontier that symbolizes moving into the future. Its through a promise a at leat of endless growth old could rise up and sit at the table in this room with a certain kind of idealism and optimism that is said to exceptionalism and how weve moved to the border wall as a central organizing symbol of identity. The frontier symbolized moving into the future of the borderland and all of the nativist violence including the rise of the paramilitary finance border border watch groups. Its the kind of innovating past where all of the recent lost could be rethought in the accumulated historical grievances. The the two oppositional positions came to dominate the public debate. One that understood donald trump as completely alien to the American Experience of unprecedented interruption. Those positions fall donald trump and the culmination of settler colonial violence. The way that you get out of that opposition is by thinking about expansion and what happened recently that has allowed a movement to move from the margins to take public power. One was the iraq war and for financial and strategic catastrophe that it entails. Theres the end of a certain kind of growth model even though we might be in recovery has revealed and then of course hanging over all of this and endless growth is no longer possible so the argument is this is what happens when the empire ends and the wall supplanted the frontier as a symbol of American History so that is a long answer. I just wanted to set up the terms of the book. The its always been pretty much based on exclusion or removal exclusion act. How do things shift and how did jackson change that . The end of the Coastal Coalition jackson represented the interest to a large degree a incubus key and opening up and in many ways the founding president imagined they were moving west across the continent. They imagined the United States to wind itself out and took steps that brought a quantity to the United States possession that was unfathomable. The most humane president believed the country would reach specifics but they couldnt figure out how to make it happen. They didnt have the material capacity to develop some qualms and responsibilities about an all out assault on the basis of the communities even though Thomas Jefferson issued instructions in the predatory debt as a way of dispossession of land there was a way in which the desire for expansion and match the capacity. Jackson represents a sweeping away of those qualms and action to theory. John quincy adams becomes increasingly radicalized. Again its not that he was opposed to expansion but he was opposed to launching an allout violent war that started with the destruction in 1811, 1812 and continued from texas to the mexicanamerican war. He became radicalized in the condemnation of the jacksonians. One fear was the endless war would rip the nation apart, that it would harden the nation into two camps which it did, but also that it would bind the nation together he gives a speech i go into in detail. Its the most any could imagine. He correctly predicts its going to lead to war with mexico and spain and he thought that it would haul out the vision that he and management of expansion taking place so he is the key to solidifying. This is the foundation of exceptionalism. Other liberal states in the world become more socialized into active. The jacksonian consensus is the key to this and the proper state is a minimal state the proper right is individual rights and what eventually becomes social rights. So, the jacksonian consensus which is founded not once but across the continent is the kind of racial foundation of the very racialized notion of freedom that is inextricably linked to the supremacy. You cannot separate it out. They mac that was nonfiction pulitzer prizewinning author. Next historian welford mcclay received the 2020 book award for land of hope this one volume history of the United States. He spoke at the American Enterprise Institute Last december. The entir the entire western hemisphere came to be inhabited by people who came from somewhere else. Most willingly one great exception to that people came in bondage but restless unwilling to settle for the conditions in which they were born drawn by the prospect of a new beginning for space to pursue their ambitions in ways the old world did not permit. Hope is a very powerful word that has both theological and secular and material meaning. All of these have existed and still exist in abundance and in fact the distinctive character it cannot be the final word we can never settle for the. Few qualities are more american than this and inspirational quality cannot be covered for in material terms. Of course hope and opportunity are not synonymous with success sometimes it is a land of disappointment. This is unavoidable a nation that produces high ideas makes itself vulnerable to the criticism sometimes very far short of them as we often have done that we shouldnt be surprised by this or to discover many of our heroes turn out to be very deeply flawed human being. All human beings are flawed. To believe otherwise is to be naive and much of what passes for cynicism is more than naivete and deep disguise. In america hope is compelling of the force with such passing sentiment. And then finally theres the title of story america has a story history and literature are the refinement and intensification of that human need and in polls. Now let me give you a full sense of the book by presenting some excerpts each dealing with an issue that is important and problematic perhaps the single most sensitive subject is a place of slavery in the nations past the challenge is one of balance insisting without exaggerating its significant there is a tendency to imagine it was a uniquely American Institution but this of course is a profound misconception. The United States didnt create the slavery or racism or prejudice. It is as old as human history. The position of human nature absent a strong countervailing force that the United States while having a history touched by these evils is also a larger history seeking to overcome such things. How does one deal with the failure to deal with the problem decisively by the time of the convention in 1787 it had already become deeply enmeshed in the economy despite all of the ways it stood in the glaring contradiction to the commitment to equality and so full expressed in the declaration of independence and there was a bite in the famous how is it that we hear the loudest among the drivers. How we wonder today could such otherwise enlightened practice so contradictory to all of what they stood for and as i write in the book there is no easy answer to such questions but surely part of the answer is each of us is born into a world we didnt make and its only with its greatest effort and cost we are able to change it for the better. They are not static. They develop and deepen over time the general progress is very slow. Part of the study involves the training of the imagination burning tizzy in speaking and acting in their own time and learning to see our heroes is an ultimate trickster is admirable equalities. People like us who may be constrained by circumstances beyond their control. Its regarding slavery built into the constitution where we are almost certainly unavoidable in the short term in order to achieve in the Political Union of the nation. What we need to understand is how the original compromise the bunker became acceptable to increasing the numbers especially in one part of the union and why it is a ubiquitous institution that came to be seen not nearly as an unfortunate evil that as a impediment to Human Progress sustained upon the whole nation. We live today on the other side of the great transformation in the sensibility. The transformation that was taking place but not yet completed hence it would be profoundly wrong to contend the United States was founded on slavery. It was founded on the other principles entirely that had been discovered with the european and british and American History. These foundational principles would win in the end though without much struggling and striving individual bloodshed. The United States enjoyed the miraculous birth that was the product of the conception and untroubled delivery. Few things are. I wrote these words before the publication which does in fact consist of the idea that america was founded on slavery in a project that we are told would distribute use to promote that idea. Absent countervailing argument from those like mine there is now a genuine danger thats part of the education that its part of the makeup, its dna is less than that would model me. Fullstop pernicious. A related lesson is that the states may often be less than obvious is contemporary observers precisely because only the leader is in the position to understand all of the essential forces in play. Being a great leader acquires courage and imagination especially when the outcome seems doubtful and the public is leaning in a different direction or simply afraid. It might mean courting the displeasure of the multitude and accepting unpopularity as a result. The book contains many examples of this but lets take the case of lincoln. We are so accustomed to thinking of lincoln in heroic terms that we forget during virtually his entire time in office. Few leaders have been more comprehensively loathed and underestimated. Another view of courses to be expected but was widely shared in the north, to back as lincoln biographer put it his own associates thought of him as a simple susan, a choker, huckster in politics, first rate secondgrade man, George Mcclellan his opponent openly disdained him. Lincoln was convinced it was good reason he was doomed with incalculable consequences for the war effort and all that he had done and sacrificed to that end. So they quote from the book again. We need to remember this is generally how history happened. Very much directed towards the young people but i think all of us can benefit from this. We need to remember this is generally how history happened. It isnt like a hollywood movie in which the background music swells and the crowd in the room leaps to its feet into the camera pans the room of smiling faces. In real history it doesnt spo spoil. The critics often seem louder than the applause. The leader or the soldier has to wonder is he acting in vain are the criticisms of others in fact true. Will tim judge him harshly and will his sacrifice count for nothing. Few show more comprehensively than lincoln. The two get people to appreciate what its like to be. Let me also suggest the story at the end of the civil war in april 1865 in a way that might hold some lesson is for the fellow countrymen today who seem to regard the end here is how i describe the scene in the book. This is a somewhat longer passage here a but april 9 after the last resistance when it arranged a brick home in the village of the courthouse but surrendered his army he couldnt surrender for the whole confederacy but dont surrender would trigger the surrender of others and so the end of the confederate cause. It was a poignant scene dignified and restrained as but a terrible storm had finally exhausted itself leaving behind the calm. They had known one another. He ranked first wearing his dress uniform to be joined by the mud splattered coat into his muddy boots always a fashion plate. Reflecting on the man before him each passing by and then the days before were his mortal foes and i quote chamberlain, it cannot be improved upon, before us in proud humiliations to the embodiment of manhood. Man whom never toiled from suffering from death nor hopelessness could been found their resolve standing before us now and famished by direct waking memories that bound us together as know whether bond was not such manhood to be welcomed back into a union so tested and assured on our part the sound of trumpet more and or rolling drum not a cheer or a word of whisper of lori no motion of man standing at the order as if it were the passing of the dead. That is chamberlains observations and my account picks up from there. Such deep sympathy in a factory so heavily tinged with sadness and grief and death the war remains the bloodiest conflict having generated at least one. 5 million casualties on the two sides combined including 620,000 deaths the equivalent of 6 million men in todays american population. One out of four soldiers went to war never return home one out of 13 returned with at least one missing limb every village and town one could see man burying scars bearing the scars and mutilation a reminder of what they had paid. But yet chamberlains words suggested there could be room ahead for a spirit of conciliation the spirit that lincoln had called for in the second inaugural speech of binding wounds and caring for the afflicted and then moving ahead together. A slender help yet worth nourishing and pursuing. We all know it didnt turn out that way thanks in large part to John Wilkes Booth with the assassination of lincoln but the story is illustrative nonetheless if chamberlain his troops can find it in their heart to be that forgiving and a generous, respectful of men then only days before they are mortal enemies we ought to extend a similar generosity to men that is now a far more distant past we can be encouraged by lincoln himself who said something similar at a Cabinet Meeting april 14 the very day of his assassination which is so haunting. He said i hope there will be no persecution or bodywork after the war is over enough lives have been sacrificed we must extinguish our resentment if we expect harmony and union there has been too much of a desire on our good friends to be masters and interfere with and dictate to treat the people not as fellow citizens. There is too little respect for their lives i do not sympathize in these feelings. Perhaps his hopes were unrealistic perhaps such the outcome was is impossible perhaps it would have entailed too many concessions with a defeated south we can never know for sure. But given a high regard that lincoln has really held by most americans and the worlds greatest leaders it would be a mistake not to Pay Attention to this example not only understanding the path in which he lived but the present in which we live as well lincoln never lost sight of the fact the war that consumed his presidency and finally his life, would be a failure if not in the war of reunification and reconciliation and not conquest and vengeance. We will fare far better of our internal conflicts if we can recall the same thing. I so deeply believe in the power of story we tell stories not to answer questions but ask them. And the beauty of stories as it brings people to places they wouldnt go and introduces them to people they would not meet and then the notion of empathy and capacity to imagine yourself or someone else this is a collection of 14 stories over the course of one summer and i was looking for those stories to knock me off balance or surprised me and all about people who were touched by the violence and in one manner or another shaped by it were hard to keep it from defining who they are. I would like you to tell one of those stories when i heard it would be a story about violence i prepared myself to be a dark and difficult story. It is that but also a lot that have hope and beauty and one that struck me was lisa daniel. I would love to tell her story one of the things that was clear to me i had the same concern but its impossible to talk about death without celebrating life in all the love thats there and you certainly see that in lisas story i feel fortunate to have met her to be a steward of her story that when i met her she was living on the south side of chicago and she had two sons. The oldest was an engineering student and the younger one strayed and high school and she did everything she could to hold him close. They were very tight and very close. But its hard for five kids of my own its hard to hold onto your kids. When he was 25 he went to buy a small amount of marijuana and to a suburb south of the city from a small town drug dealer they got into a dispute and a gunfight erupted and darren was killed. What is notable about her story in the local newspaper ran a headline that young man killed with wet then and felony convictions not even tell the third paragraph of the story they mention him by name they they talk about his time in prison and convictions and what was important to lisa was to reclaim his narrative and he was so much more its not unusual that this notion of what Goes Around Comes Around we hear these reports in the newspapers so she went on facebook and went to the newspaper and had a frame to her license plate that said he was my son his name was darren also about her story which is equally remarkable is that she assumed the person who killed her son was a fairly straightforward case to be tried and convicted and sent away and at one point the attorney comes and says its more complicated than they thought witness had a criminal record they wanted a plea deal that to make sure it was okay and she thought about it and said it was but she wanted to give a victim impact statement. They were agreeable to that he ordinarily when people give those its the impact the climate has had on you and your family so lisa comes to court you also have to have it written down. She wears not prepared so they put her in an office for an hour and we are fortunate to have her with us here today and actually i will ask her to read part of what she said. [applause] this is lisa in court. My son wasnt perfect he made bad decisions and lifestyle choices that cost him his life that the end of the day none of his choices mattered because he was my son and i miss him terribly the morning after he was killed the smalltown newspaper headline read man shot to death had drug and felony convictions and from that day to this i awake every day with a mission and purpose his legacy will not be defined. No one should Bishop Desmond tutu was quoted to say my humanity is bound up in yours for we are only human to gather i believe that statement to be true we are all connected by humanity and i cannot speak for my sons humanity without speaking for the same humanity of a man who by only one bad decision took his life. I have and will always continue to speak on darrens behalf. But today i speak for you, michael. She ends up asking the judge for leniency and begins a correspondence with michael in prison. Talking to michael in prison at one point he said i just want to be seen as a coldblooded kille killer. I remember lisa said to me if anybody thinks that i will stand toe to toe with them and take them on. I want to ask you about that newspaper article. What do you wish that article what have said about your son or they can learn about him in that moment . Hes a human being. There was nothing in the article that indicated he was a human being that had people that loved him and were grieving the fact he lost his life that day. I just wish the article had identified him as a human being. Now you are doing work that is influenced by your experienc experience. And to ask you on the present review board. That is where prisoners come to lay out what they will do when they leave prison and get permission to leave. Amongst other things how has your personal experienced shape what you do on the board . The blessing about that is it has shaped my perspective when sitting before an individual who is asking for their parole to be resumed may be at they are the alleged violator and they are before me requesting that they get an opportunity to reset the clock and go back out for whatever reason. What i have to do in that space because of this experience i can have this perspective to see that person as a human being and connect with their humanity and hear their story the way that i wish individuals would have heard darren story. I get to choose not to define that person who was sitting in front of me by the worst thing they have ever done. First want to bring somebody else on stage we are lucky to have another person that alex profiled. [applause] this isnt the first time youve done something with alex you were also profiled in his film the interrupters in chicago but now youre working on a different project. Can you tell me about that . First and foremost really we then informed by my Life Experience it wont get into the details of my past. You can read his book but we have created a program that has been heavily invested by philanthropy in the private sector focusing on curbing violence by addressing those who have the highest risk 18 and older decided from inglewood and North Lawndale and west garfield. That through employment you can engage them for 18 months of programming providing life skills and Technical Skills but the most important part of the program is by my own Life Experience and those working what we call cognitive therapy an hour and a half at a time to address at the very minimum start the process to get these young men to think about actions and behaviors and how to navigate certain situations in their life so im grateful with two years of this program as of two weeks ago 518 men that started the program we definitely have defined that people have underestimated. What was clear as i was working on this book with people that i spoke about that was touched by violence was also a sense of loneliness what they were experiencing had a flaw in their character in one of the beauties of what hes doing is to bring these young men together for the first time talking about not only their experiences but the aftermath and that to molten side. There is a huge gap in our community with culture competency playing a major role in this work thinking of ymca how do we work with young people to address the trauma . Looking at the young man in the program that were on probation or on parole and getting involved had more symptoms and returning combat thats. There something to be said about that. Im always thinking about creative ways to bridge those gaps. There was so much love for veterans but yet we know very little at the same time whether injury or ptsd and what we learn the last 20 or 30 years with veterans but how do we use that with our young man in our city because in our own backyard these are own soldiers are actually in our backyard and with the Chicago Program just to give you a quick snapshot with the individuals 90 percent of participants experienced a loved one killed violence on average 18 arrests. 60 percent of participants have children how do we reset the violence and the cycle how do we leverage what we know and in bridging some of that with peer to peer support by your known peers or staff to think about creative ways to address those symptoms are begin the process to recognize the symptoms because in many cases individuals dont even recognize the symptoms which is why abuse is a huge challenge in our communities. One of the themes i noticed in your book is over and over people underestimate the effects of that trauma of course on a personal level and also institutionally why do you think that is an so hard to see it . I think its hard for us to see it because we choose not to. Going back to the beginning we dont choose to see ourselves and others so we choose to feel better about ourselves by sensationalizing the mistakes or the actions of other people. And to compare ourselves to other situations to minimize her own trauma and unresolved issues and dysfunctions in areas of fault by sensationalizing those in other people. Its easier to view it that way and not see it in other people. You are absolutely right language is so important we see that in the story of darren but in terms of that gang bangers and thugs it reduces people so we think we know their story when in fact we know very littl little. I do think what it does is pushes them away i should also say these are communities of color physically and spiritually isolated and its incumbent to point out as bad as chicago is one of the top ten most violent cities in the country i could write this the new Orleans Baltimore detroit st. Louis, so many other places working with this and also deeply distressed. So we tend to push thes people away and look at them as others and see something flawed in who they are. Slate National Editor josh levine winner of the National Book critics circle award for biography. His book the queen is about linda carter a criminal his exploits launched the idea of the welfare queen in the United States appearing on the tv last summer at pictures row fast in chicago. Its a big challenge for me to tell this story that to explain how this stereotype came to be of the welfare queen i want to strengthen the stereotype with the format of somebody who did commit welfare fraud but somebody who drove a cadillac that is true but i wanted to be careful how i presented that as a singular story and not represented anything or anything larger than herself so when introduction i tell the story of patricia who is a woman in 1975, one year after taylor was deemed welfare queen by Chicago Tribune moved in with this woman she met at church was a friend of hers and the exchange they had that taylor would move in and take care of her friend because patricia was sick but she was getting sicker and sicker and eventually died june 1975 and she died of a barbiturate overdose in the tribune at the time said that taylor was a suspect in the death it was investigated as a homicide and ultimately the prosecutor decided he didnt have enough evidence to charge taylor with this killing i should also add that before her death she signed over her estate to linda taylor it is extremely suspicious the prosecutor recognize that but didnt have enough evidence so i interviewed patricias exhusband who told me he was 100 percent sure linda taylor killed his wife and also extremely sure that it had not been investigated or treated seriously because she was a black woman and for her race meant that as a victim she was not seen as important this is at the same time i welfare fraud is treated as the crime of the century that this woman is dead in chicago and is seen not as a tragedy but a curiosity the welfare queen killed someone. Is not seen as something that should be attached to her story this is before reagan mentioned her name reagan doesnt talk about homicide even reagans critics said reagan got it wrong they dont mention that it is totally forgotten and erased from her story. The critics got it wrong what do they say she did . There is a lot of Fact Checking done during the Reagan Campaign there is a story in the washington star to the New York Times so i got a lot of play and the tone of the story is reagans as a bunch of stuff in his speeches lets check and see if its true. There is a whole succession of anecdotes but for the taylor one thing that is checked is the dollar amount reagan said she stole 150,000 and the reporter says actually shes being prosecuted for stealing 8000 so thats what he got wrong is he exaggerated the extent of her welfare fraud. He did. Thats true the best estimate i could find to those in the relevant agencies said she stole 40000 over multiple years. So it wasnt an accurate to say he was exaggerating but it wasnt complete to make the point this is the only thing reagan got wrong about linda taylor that she stole more than she stole. And kidnapping . She was a serial kidnapper i believe also a serial kidnapping complaint and as part of her file a packet of documents where the fbi would say shes making another complaint one of her children got kidnapped and then her daughter was taken and by somebody who left a ransom note. She constantly had kidnapping on the brain. Then in 1867 arrested for kidnapping by Chicago Police and i tell that story in the book she was taking care of the young girl on behalf of an acquaintance and moved and did not tell this woman where she had taken a child. And taylor sign actually who rescued the girl and brought her back to her mother. But she was never charged with that and theres another kidnapping in the book she was not charged with and then this extremely famous kidnapping in chicago in 1964 where abb is taken, one day all taken from his mothers arms in the hospital by a woman dressed as a nurse who was never seen again. The baby is never seen again and the tribune again multiple times in the seventies reports the fbi has reeled in the case as taylor is the leading suspect. The man that taylor lived with attested that she taken a baby and dressed as a nurse that day with all the circumstantial evidence connecting her to it. But she was never charged in that case either. And the baby was never found. Fascinating. She was a victimizer and a victim. When you were working on the book where you wrestling with this duality . That complexity of the story is what drew me into it. The complexity in terms of reporting and Research Challenge i thought at the time was more than other times but also the moral complexity and we were talking about reagan and Fact Checking but one reason why the complexity of the story did not come out at that time it wasnt ideological congenial to tell the full story of her because reagan wanted to broadcast because it helps them sell the larger point that he is the person to identify and then reagans critics are more concerned with making reagan look bad then telling a folder story about this person maybe shes not as much as a welfare cheat but as much as welfare and murder so what is important for me to get across in the story is the fact of the stereotype endured and that it is indicative of the power of the story and the fact all these wonderful people one of vulnerable people, poor people, poor black women dont have the platform that Ronald Reagan had as the Chicago Tribune. So the ease with which her story was conflated the story of the is people who were lawabiding was striking to me and horrifying in a lot of ways. I want to show her story and contrast with that. It is fascinating how these assertions become so persistent in the culture with welfare as we know it. Her story extends for decades and with that reform debate. Reagan talks about her when he loses and 76 and then continues to tell the story during the campaign and continues to tell the story when hes in office and tells the linda taylor story to newspaper editors and the Congressional Black Caucus which is what i find hard to imagine that happened. He tells the story over and over and succeeds in passing major cuts to aid of dependent children and that helps to make that case. And then when bill clinton runs for president 1982 welfare across every Democratic Group is extremely unpopular because it had been hammered so consistently for decades those were getting government benefits were cheaters when he says and welfare as we know it according to those working for his campaign and posters far and away the most popular thing he says on the trail is the lack of specificity is the key of that phrase because it allows everyone to create their own idea of what that means. Im not sure clinton intended to do anything once he was elected they decided to focus on healthcare. That doesnt go super well but then republicans take over congress in 1994, Newt Gingrich and his pals say lets end welfare as we know it. Great idea. So he is boxed in and forced to do something. That becomes a bipartisan push because in the bill is signed that does and welfare known up to that point signed by john kerry and joe biden and it turns welfare and public aid from something essentially if you were poor you qualified to temporary assistance for needy families and a limited pool of money so it doesnt necessarily get a even if you qualify befor before. National book critics circle award biography winner discussing the book the queen. We wrap up our look at the awardwinning authors and books from our archives with National Book award winner with the book the yellow house telling the story of the authors family growing up in new orleans. He or she is reading from her book during the 2019 miami book festival. I will read from the beginning a section, from high up 15000 and where the aerial photographs are taken, 4121 wilson avenue, the address i know best is a minuscule point, a scab of dreams. Satellite images shot higher the street dissolves into the tell of the louisiana boot from this Vantage Point i would appear to sit in the gulf of mexico. Distance lends perspective but it can also shade and misinterpret from these great heights looking down my brother could not be seen. Carl, also my brother rabbits sits days and nights away at least five times a week after working his maintenance job at nasa or when he is not fishing or near to the water where he loves to be. For thousand and 15 days past beyond all new cycles known to man this skinny man in shorts white socks pulled up to his kneecaps, one gold picture frame around his front tooth. Sometimes you can find car all alone on the lot poised on an i. C. E. Chest looking at the view as if for a sign were to wonder seated at a dining table with carved legs Holding Court the table where he sits is where our living room used to be but instead of four there is green grass trying to grow. Seeing carl gesturing with a long arm and the rabbit with his legs crossed at the ankle a long way get man. I can see him there now. In my minds eye, hoping and babysitting ruins. But that is not his language or sentiment. He would never betray the yellow house like that. He often finds company on wilson avenue where he keeps watch and friends will arrive with coolers containing spirits on the i. C. E. Help yourself baby. If someone has to pletter they do it what used to be our den or use the porta potty sitting at the back of the yard where the shed once was known as plastic vertical bathroom is the only structure on the lot. Written on its front and white block letters on a black background, city of new orleans. I have stack 12 or 13 history telling books about new orleans, yesterday and today, as it was and fabulous new orleans a guide to americas most interesting city so on and so forth. I have passed the sections about the French Quarter the Garden District and st. Charles avenue in search of the area of the city of where i grew up, new orleans east. Aware and fair afterthoughts no guided tours to this part of the city except for the disaster bus tour that was an industry carting visitors around and pointing out the great destruction of neighborhoods that were never known or set foot in before except by the residents. Imagine the streets are that quiet and you live on those dead quiet streets and theres nothing left of anything you want sound. The rarer survivors still present on the scene are dressed in blue disposable jumpsuits wearing face masks to avoid being burned by the black mold everywhere in their homes climbing up the walls and slippery abstract figures. While this is going on wondering if you find remains for anything that you ever loved passing by in the airconditioned bus snapping images of your personal destruction, there is something affirming in the acknowledgment of horrendous distractive act but it still feels like invasion and i do not believe the tour buses ever made it to the street where i grew up. On a detailed city map was given to me by avis rent a car the French Quarter shaded in turquoise magnified at the bottom of the page. New orleans east is cut off a point beyond an uplink space on their mental map. Perhaps a practical matter new orleans east is 50 times the French Quarter 70 percent of the land mass, properly mapped it might swallow the page whole. The avis map does not tell you the 7 miles from the French Quarter to the yellow house where i grow up you take interstate ten heading east when this portion opened in 1968, hundreds of great oaks through the shopping districts had been chop down roots evicted from the ground, 155 houses demolished to make way. Driving the interstate you will know you are on track when you see signs saying final exit but do not get off. Stay on. After another 4 miles you will arrive at the bridge we call the high rise for the dramatic arc it makes over the Industrial Canal that connects the Mississippi River to lake park to train the exiled eastern new orleans from the rest of the city. At the top of the highrises resting on the verge of discovery but the dissent is cruel and steep. Accents suddenly a fourlane highway once traversed by native american tribes but now carries cars all the way to florida or texas to bifurcate the short industrialized wilson avenue where i grew up from the longer residential and of mostly brick houses and former Elementary School originally named Jefferson Davis after the confederate president before becoming ernest morreale it is nameless now fields of grass by a chainlink fence and even as i write this i am troubled by what it meant for us me and my 11 siblings to cross the highway which is then and now i see of prostitution with cars pulling over part way onto the sidewalk in creeping alongside you even if you are only a child on an errand mostly men in cars making deals they could drag you down without realizing it is one dragged my sister karen when she was eight years old. Drivers and speeding cars selfdestructed on this highway. My childhood friend would die in this way. Someone could grab and abduct you while you stood there on the neutral ground on the media and or see you standing there when you did not want to be seen as i would not many years into young woman heard what i have waited showing people the place where i lived thinking of the highway and being cut off from the other side of the street in the city center to play cut off i think of all of this. By bringing you to the yellow house i have gone against my learning. The house is not that comfortable for other people my mother would always say. Before was the yellow house, the only house i knew. It was a green house to house my a loving siblings witness to our lives when it fell down something in me burst my mother always says begin as you want to and that my beginning proceeds me absences allow us one power over them they do not speak a word we say of them whatever we want and still they hover pointing fingers at our backs. No less to go then into deep ground. 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