I am from florida and i tell you a little bit about myself even if you might care i was born in Fort Lauderdale florida my background is a newspaper journalist i still write a column for the miami herald. That is my excuse for my novels. I dont know anything in the weirdness of florida is my daily reality and everybody is moving to florida and out now which is a lot more material for me. Now he is down there golfing. The material is priceless. I talk about one of the first books i ever wrote with just my name on it was a book called tour season. They were traditional thrillers ripped out of our notebooks. One of the first reporters in beijing. Those were kind of a straight thrillers. We have to sit down and plan and collaborate on fiction and it was a challenge. Bill and i have very different writing styles. We would just each head chapters and characters. They would be facing typewriters like they were pns. And they would rip each other stuff apart. Before there was computers or anything. We somehow came up with the singular voice that anyone who read those novels could not tell which of us had written which chapters or characters. Bill, when he was a Foreign Correspondent he got very lonely. His wife and kids were back in miami so when i get the pages from him from china or wherever he was in the mideast. He might send a hundred pages and 40 of the pages would be scenes. You have to tell bill we have to take some of the scenes out. The novel is not moving forward its just him enticing about him being home and so i have to do this job of negotiating even down to the individual acts that were being described i would say, can we take that out of that scene. The other thing we did at the time was because our rights at the time maybe were a little suspicious when they read something in the novel that did not happen in the real lives. So our standard line was that if either of us were questioned we would blame it on the other guy. Ive never seen a ferret i dont even know how it got in the room. That kind of thing. We did three novels together and then we decided we would both write our own book. Just growing up in florida and been as angry as i was all the time about what was happening in florida i have novel i wanted to write called tourist season which was about to arrest started disappearing from florida it was little band of misbegotten terrorists at the time and started making tourists disappear in the hopes that it would stem the whole influx in florida. At the time i wrote it more than 1,000 people a day were moving to the state of florida and as i stand here before you today more than a thousand people a day are moving to florida we have to count those. Still a net of over a thousand. You can see how much good the book accomplish. Its can it be be like powder burden. I think its can be kind of different from anything biller i did. They said send me if you play pages. The early part we used to have this big fantastic event. They would close off the boulevard and have this huge parade. They always had the big highlight was the shriners the motorcycles in their little cars zipping around shriners were a big part of that. Early on in the book one of the people who would disappear at the hands of the terrorists they would grab one of the shriners off the beach this all happens off camera and its very tastefully done. There is no graphic trainer violence at all. The chapter ends and all you see is the feds on the beach. Either it made sense to me. The editor calls me and says i said this is the book. This is so different from anything you ever did with bill im not sure how we can market or sell it. They took a chance. The book is published and they do pretty well. He was just great. The time came for a new book contract and then they said what you write about now. They said i have a great idea for a second novel. Its about murder and corruption on the bass fishing circuit. My pitch was the says literary territory i pretty much had to myself. They will discover the world of bath fits bass fishing eventually. No one knew this but me. My editor looked at me with the blankets expression and said what is bass. That is the book i wrote. Im proud to this date that it ever got into print because you cannot find them. Very nice meeting you good luck with your fishing. And they would send you home. I have a larger picture in mind at the time about what was happening in the culture there was a tv preacher in a who was hypocritical. This was before jimmy swaggered. I was ahead of the curve on the step. It was still one of the most bizarre and i will tell you how bizarre it was. I still am working for that newspaper. I was going into the newsroom five days a week and i have not started my column yet. I was on the investigations team. I have a fulltime job and i was writing at night. If you want to be topical. At that time was writing that book it was the beginning of the pitbull dog fascination in this country. It kind of started in south florida. They would chain them in the yard to guard the stash. Every dope dealer have a pit bull dog. It would start all over the country. At one point Newsweek Magazine have a snapping pitbull on the cover of a magazine i thought i have to work a pit bull dog into this novel. Ive got im going to stay timely. Back in those days i think it was even a statue in florida that every Mobile Home Park have to have at least three or four i have a burglar in the book. Im not a big fan of burglars. I have him breaking into a trailer. He has a screwdriver. Suddenly out of the shadows flies this big pit bull. The guy takes his screwdriver and he kills the pitbull dog with it. The dog does not let go of his arm. It begins with a relationship the relationship about 104 pages in the novel between the guy in the dead pitbull in a way it was a dizzy journey disney journey sort of thing. He becomes delirious from the pain and infection. He names the dog. He goes to the toll booth at the turnpike. I didnt find anything particularly strange about it. To me it was the ultimate pitbull story. I was talking to a group of lawyers when the book came out. Afterwards im shaking hands. Some guy comes up and says he said who told you about the pitbull. He said who told you about the pitbull. Who told you about the pitbull. I said i just made that up. He proceeds to tell me the story he lives in a very nice neighborhood he is walking to his golden retriever might need his own business out of the blue one of the neighbors has a pit bull dog leaps the fence and breaks the padlock and does something. Charging across the neighborhood and the poor golden retriever is just unleashed. He bites on the back of the neck. This is miami. He does what every attorney who is walking his dog. He opens up on the pitbull dog. The pitbull dog does not let go. They take off running down the street with this pitbull floppy on his neck all the neighbors to come out and they run back to the end of the culdesac. They have a dead dog on it. Let me through. I will handle this. Empties the clip into the pit bull dog. The golden was okay. The point was i had written a scene i thought was so detestable that it would never happen in real life and then this guy comes up with something better. Its not the first time that this is happened to me. I did a novel a couple years later and it was a true story. Someone sent me a magazine or a periodical a journal of popular culture. There is an article about my work in there. And i thought they started reading it. It reads like a thesis. He analyzed all of the novels i had written at that point. The one recurring symbol in every carl hiassen novel there is a floater. Most all of them are in the water. This recurs. They had paragraphs on the whole floater. My first reaction is i did not know i was this brilliant. In the second thing is i realize im halfway through a novel right now no floater. Im about to blow the skies thesis out of the water. I have to get me a floater. This is how the literary mind works. Ive to get me a floater. At the time it was called native tongue. It was a third rate themepark. It was erected right in this very delicate area there is a coral reef on one side. He does everything on the cheek. He has a bad killer whale. All of these bad animals. And one of them hes got in the novel has a bottlenose often dolphin thats just no good. Vicki the dolphin. And then they havent in a tank. You can go to these exhibits and you get to swim with the dolphins. Its called a dolphin encounter. Believe me it is the highlight of every dolphins day. Tourist number 75 jumps in the water leaking like flipper. What have started to happen there was a story on the west coast of florida where they were starting to have these incidents some of the dolphins in the program had had enough. They were done. And they were exhibiting what they call aggressive behavior. It was more than aggressive behavior it was sexual behavior. Directed primarily at female humans. And if you know anything about biology. A full grown male dolphin may grow to 70800 pounds. They are endowed proportionately. There is an aspect to their equipment they may not had arms they may not have legs but they can grab you. In this of course i have my two rules. In my role. I felt it was my duty to get as many out. A legal secretary for her birthday had brought her a dolphin encounter. The guys all wear little khakis. None of them can even swim. Shes in the water. This dolphin takes a liking to her in a big way and she starts streaming screaming. Try to get out if you can. We are not going in there. She extricate herself from the relationship and she climbs out. She doesnt want the videotape. Who would you show it to. I get the firstperson story. Is tastefully done. Now you have to worry about i dont think i use the word screwed. Flipper was a tv show of my generation. And across the bay. The current flipper lived at the time. And the owners. They might have in some way libeled the reputation of the real flipper i casting him as a corny specimen. The phone rings. They said yeah, that column. We dont even let anybody swim with the flipper. You need to do a retraction. I was in a can reach you what the retraction would say. Sorry i said flipper was going to happen to tourists. I will get into the whole thing. Would you like that retraction. He said no, forget about it. More importantly in my novel which i dont have a floater yet i have vicki the dolphin swimming in the tank. They are based on a reallife group of Police Officers in miami. They are heavily on steroids. And they went nuts. He is my protagonist. They are mainlining. They are dragging a mainline dry. Thats how hes guarding the themepark. They meet facetoface on the catwalk. There is a fistfight in my good guy gets off the punch and pedro goes on a moonlit night is having romantic thoughts and he proceeds to romance pedro to death. I got my floater pager has what he deserves i felt a sense of great literary achievement. Again it goes up to an editor. There is questions. I send in eight clippings about a dolphin. I always settle things with newspaper clippings. I send them the company in the headline. This was before the florida man. At the time i still have a lot of convincing to do. That book was called native tongue. In all of the novels since then used to try to takes a shred of something that really happened. Its getting harder and harder on the dial to get ahead of the news. There is a story my oldest son was a reporter at the time. He have sent me a story i was living there when it happened. It was written about this. There was a car accident. It was about 23 or 24 miles. Both cars pull over and they find they state trooper is there. They wander up. The driver of the car that struck them. In the heralds in the way we were they had been shaving the bikini area while driving. Down the overseas highway. And they questioned her. Can i ask why you are doing that. They make im going to key west i have a date. Passenger is the exhusband. He is accompanied her he had reached over and was steering to give them a little extra dexterity during the hygiene session they went to jail. The state trooper was a great quote. This is worse than anything i have ever seen. I clipped out the story. I have it with the corkboard over my desk. How do you improve on it you can. Honestly you cant improve on it. I ended up using it for the beginning of an novel called razor girl. If anything you heard. Im with him. Last night we did a big event in patterson. He outlines like a theme. As i told him i would never do another outline. They always felt confining. I have no earthly clue. Sometimes it shows. I always quote my friend. He often got ask this question. The reader would say do you know how your books or can and when you start them. Why would i write the book if i knew how it was the end. My books are more character driven but there is nothing greater then being surprised by a character in a pleasant way in a way that they might have been a walkon in all of this and they start saying and doing things and they bring this whole new dimension to this novel and its very exciting. But you cant have an outline because you cant break the pass. If i get surprised it is a tight rope because you dont know in my case. Im usually about two thirds of the way through the manuscript before i figure out how it can end. I just needed a hermit guy. There was a scene where the character runs through the swamp. Who would be living out here. In the middle of nowhere and the other faction was he lived off road kill. I clipped about the Pennsylvania State trooper. Whenever there was a roadkill he would come in a squad car and take it back. I read this whole article about them. I thought there is a hobby. You dont hear about it every day. I wanted to give that to one of my characters i said i know its a hermit guy. With a ton of roadkill in florida. Hes out in the middle. His only hes only get to be around for one or two chapters. Someone who have been the governor of florida. Just went bat crazy. Thats what tallahassee will do to you. Probably sacramento has a same effect. He would be great to run for office. He was a smart guy and a military hero. He goes to tallahassee. And is surrounded by drooling seeds everywhere. He just ran out and went crazy. Them is sitting in the swamp roasting up opossum. A hard look harmless little scene. Almost a warm and fuzzy atmosphere to it. The character now goes by the name of stink in my novel. That little section in the book he all the sudden starts saying and doing things that i always fantasized about. I keep him around. He becomes a moral engine. And really propels Everything Else thats going on. He would not had been able to do that. He has appeared in several novels in different ways. I wanted to see him again. Our lives are outlined. Its all serendipity and chants and good luck and bad luck. So whenever im starting a novel is what i do is i always have the characters in my had first. I start assembling a cast of characters. Just to write about in general. What would happen if you put them on the stage and just letting them bump into each other. That is not something that any creative writer teacher is going to recommend. Its what keeps it interesting. Ive many friends i have many friends that are successful writers. At least one book a year. They had recurring characters. They are very successful. It just bang bang bang. I cant work that way. Its kinda fun to kind of fun to start from scratch. They are extraordinarily successful. You start writing with the assumption that all of your readers have read all of your other books about that character. And if you do it is still because you are reciting stuff that you put in other novels. Its much better to me. What is scary the fanta base is sketchy at times. That character uses loses a hand. And dont laugh. The personal injury lawyer. Everybody laughs at that. It was a personal injury lawyer who was a diver. And there are certain wrecks in the keys. Where they have resident barracuda. They take bags of fish and feed this is really smart by the way. The brains are about that big. If youve a piece of generally jewelry on. He is down there. Its a big video camera. The other thing you would do as you would put a fish in the mouth. Four fingers in the top. But most of the digits gone. It was a mess. Heres what he does. I like the dog. The guy. He gets all fixed up. He sent me the best clients. That is better than anything i could event. All of the friends in high school and Elementary School nicked him chemo. He has some basis for being a bad guy anyway he is a bouncer at a club. He loses his hand to the barracuda and they offer him you know what i would like and so i head in my mind. It wouldve been the best thing to have as a bouncer. Its a big weed wacker. One of those things. You walk into the mosh pit everybody quiets down. I went to a friend of mine whos a Plastic Surgeon and i said tell me if this is plausible or not. If i came to you how would we do that. He comes up with a whole great plan. Its almost like a holster off the shoulder. It was fantastic. He went to prison. And they let him work in the garden. Where else are you going to put him. I finish every novel thinking thats the sickest thing anybodys ever put into a book. About a gentleman he was reaching in and he was not underwater. That is what gators do. The local paper went in. He was incredibly goodnatured about it. For some of someone. What do you do now. I think im you get one going to get one of those weed wackers. I was so flattered. In the sickest possible way i was flattered. And years later i did a book signing in gainesville. I didnt really do it. Im a pretty lucky guy. I love this exchange. I hope she still with us today. The burglar had named the dead pit bull on his own. He called it lucas. The bookstore in boulder colorado and they mistry bookstore. Can i whisper something in your air. My initial response is to say yes to that. She said sure. I named my tumor after lucas. Whats your reaction to that. Part of you is. And she was so sweet. I dont know if there is another author. And maybe the whole publishing. The mending i signed the book and all i said was are you okay now. She smiles. She rolls up her sleep. She walks out really sweetly. Now i think i have a future in this business. [applause]. A kind of goes back to that novel. If you are a young writer stan starting out. There is a whole subculture out there that you dont want to know about. I have roadkill recipes sent to me. There is a whole culture about that. I was at a book signing outside of chicago maybe milwaukee actually this is a true story. And there is a guy at the back of the store. And the owner comes up to me. Somebody has something we dont know what it is. I said does he look okay. There was no place to go. Comes up to me. I did something for you. And oil painting of roadkill. It is not abstract. An oil painting he presents it to me. I look at it and i swear to god and looking at the little animal. It was an iconic scene. A little flattened thing of her you can see. You can see the treads. What i do. What i do but think them. How do this even come about. He was in his house did he hear the screech of breaks. And grab his pallet. And his and run down to the road and set up. And this poor little beaver or whatever it was. I know who would love this. And then bring it to me. That was one of the most touching things i have ever have happened. I am almost out of time. Im not going to extend my time. Thank you all for coming and putting up with these silly stories. I think its fair to say that you guys are as sick as i am if you are laughing at this stuff. The president from Public Affairs available now in paperback. I noted historians from best to worst. And features perspectives of our nations chief executives and leadership styles. To learn more about each president in the history and featured. Order your copy today. Wherever books and ebooks are sold. See mac outside of Richmond VirginiaJerome Jerome corsi talked about i did an interview with one american news. I hadnt even told my lawyers i was gonna do it. This is a good deal. You will go to prison. I said on television if this is where justice in america has come down to