Girls. And so i started seeing that, ultimately, in the 14 years of research i did for the boy crisis that there were about 56 of the largest developed nations were having problems where the boyses were falling behind girls in all of the academic subjects but especially in reading and writing. Reading and writing are the two biggest predicters of success. So i started saying is there something bigger going on here and whats the cause of in the, and is there any why is it developed nations . And i saw that developed nations had enough mastery of survival to be able to allow permission for a family to have divorces and for women to raise children without much father involvement or any father involvement. And so i started looking at those populations and found that when there were divorces, children did do much worse, but children that a had almost no father involved or no father involvement did much worse. They were part of they were where the boy crisis resides. Then i went over to single mother groups and found the same thing was true there. And, you know, really understood that while there are about ten causes of the boy crisis, that the single biggest cause was that the boy crisis resides where fathers do not reside. If. Host you say its a crisis, number one, of education. Guest yes. Boys are falling behind in all a major subjects, as i was mentioning, but including reading and writing. Theyre dropping out of school to a much greater degree. And in the old days, your old pal pointed this out on 60 minutes, he said theres two big crises that america has to worry about. One is the cyber warfare crisis, the other is the crisis with young men. And the problem in education was that our Education System is not preparing boys for jobs with technology nearly as quickly. So boys in the old days that were not academic, they used to use their muscle. But now the world has moved from muscle to microchip and muscle to mental. And in japan 30 of the students go into Vocational Education areas, and 99. 6 of them get jobs after they graduate. In the United States we have huge percentages of boys who dont have any channeling into Vocational Education. Vocational education has been cut back when it should be increased. And in its focus. And so boys are experiencing a lack of purpose. Theyre dropping out of high school, and boys who drop out of high school, the Unemployment Rate in their 20s is about 2223 which is about six times the up employment rate of the nation as a whole Unemployment Rate. Host could it also be a case where girls are doing better . Guest girls are doing better, but in some ways girls who do not have dads are not benefiting from the normal evolution of girls as doing better. Girls have, were living in an era where we give a i was on the board of n. O. W. , and so i was extremely supportive of all the feminist movements encouragement of options for girls. But now when girls and boys become men and women and fathers and mothers and they have children, often times the women will say, well, i have three choices. Option one is to raise children, option two is to raise money, option three is to do some combination of both. And guys say, well, i have three options too. Option one is to raise money, option two is to raise money, and option three is to raise money. So guys often feel that if they dont work full time, they wont be worthy as a father when, in fact, we have these thousands of women, millions of women who want to be successful in their careers, but they also want to have wellraised children, and they want to have a good marriage. And what theyre missing is that theres an enormous percentage of men out there, literally 49 of men, who are very interested in taking care of children even full time. And so, but wimp dont tend to be looking for men who want to raise children full time. And so we have this gap between women who want to focus on their career, but if they dont want a man to focus on raising the children, then they will not have children that are well raised, because the children that are, that dont have a lot of mother involvement and whose fathers drop out of the picture, those are the ones where theres real problems. Hundreds and hundreds of liberal networks and conservative networks and freedom libertarian Oriented Networks 95 prison came from the conservative networks and only about 5 came from democrats. Among democrats and liberals pairs an enormous focus on if women want to raise children by themselves they should be able to do that. Among conservatives and libertarians theres an enormous focus on my god, a liberal is understanding the value of the family and the value of fathers . This is unbelievable and the truth is that this is where the democrats are completely missing out. Fathers i have found out of my research are much more valuable than i knew before it began to research. I never would have said thats the more a fathers roughhousing with the children the more apathetic the children are likely to be and i would never have connected apathy with roughhousing. I would never connected apathy with a greater propensity for children to be assertive but not aggressive. I would never have created, im sorry i would have never put roughhousing realize the bond that is created by roughhousing allowing fathers to enforce boundaries with without the children being resentful of the boundaries being enforced because theres there is so much fun with that. They are willing to do instead suggest so when dad says you cant stick your elbow in your sisters i the children say okay, okay and they go back to the roughhousing and they forget about it because they are in what psychologists call Emotional Intelligence under fire. They forget that they are supposed to be behaving. The empathetic feelings for their sister and they go back and try to win by pushing in their brother and a sister aside in the father says okay i gave you warning. Now no more roughhousing in the next time they roughhouse the father says you cant win by pushing your brother and sister aside. They remember that they have to consider their brother and sister because if they dont they wont get what they want, the roughhousing and thats an example, one of many examples of the difference in dad style parenting versus mom style parenting that leads to children having much more ability to focus on postponing their gratification, doing what they need to do to be considerate of their sister and brother in order to get what they want with roughhousing. Host you talk in your book about 1972 being a watershed year in the Womens Movement. Guest it was one of the years where women and the years for women and the other Board Members and myself started to see the research that said when there was a divorce and fathers were not involved that was a problem and so. Host divorce is on the rise in this country. Guest divorce is on the rise in the women board of directors say now well wait a minute you i think mothers parent battered and fathers do and a lot of our members want the option of being able to be with the children are not and if we say they cant be that they have to adhere to the children having equal rights for the father and the mother they have a lot of sides of custody its not the only fish we have to price it we cant afford to chop our now members in different directions. They say i understand that. I ran for governor of california. Im not totally naive and so i understand that politically but thats not the right thing to do for our children and thats morally unjustifiable will position. Host Warren Ferrell the boy crisis has become a political issue. Guest a what . List gallay political issue. Guest it has become up political issue. I went to iowa and interviewed several of the Democratic Candidates for president and because they are going around the country they are seeing there is a large number of voice that are doing well and almost all of those boys are a dad deprives boys. They are aware that there are are Mass Shootings and they were not aware that 90 of the Mass Shootings took place by boys who were a dad deprives. They are aware of the population problem but they are not aware that some of those children are also a dad deprives children and they are aware certainly of the boys and the girls are that isis art dad deprivation as well the Trump Administration should try to carry the white House Counsel on voice two men so poisoned mens issues will be on the public agenda in addition to girls and womens issues. Host is their White House Commission on girls and women . Guest in their obama there were for eight years but its become an active under the Trump Administration. I have no problem with there being a white House Counsel on women and girls. I does have a problem with it being women and girls and not poison man is pursuant boys and men are committing suicide at four times the rate of girls and women showing signs of destructive and selfdestructive behavior on so many fronts. Host dr. Farrell how did you get into this line of work . Guest i was doing my doctorate at nyu and i was teaching at Rutgers University and a Womens Movement surfaced in 1969 i started talking about the Womens Movement as a political movement. My students said dr. Farrell you are so, theres a fire in your belly when you talk about this so i was able to persuade my Dissertation Committee to allow me to share my dissertation topic with the politics of mens and womens issues so i ended up writing a book that was supportive of the feminist movement celebrating men and i began to see it was much more complex than i was being told. One of the discoveries was there was a where a man earned 80 cents for every dollar that men men dead in town that isnt true. What i found out is bad to earn more money than moms but women who have never had children and never been married have to outearn men by 17 compared to men who have never had children never been married. I tried them i say to myself this is interesting enough i knew i could hire a woman for 80 cents to do the same type of work that a man is doing for 1 dollar i wouldnt be able to survive and i wouldnt hire a man and thy works enough to hire a man i would have the punishment of my bias would be that i have to pay him 20 more to do the same work. Host to quote from your book we also allow the disproportionate percentage of young black men in prison reflect their racism but rarely contemplate whether the other half of black man are men that may also reflect their sexism. Midas 700 increase in the 93 male population of the last halfcentury main that the way we are raising our sons in the last halfcentury is leading to a deterioration in their mental health. What i found is when there isnt a lot of father involvement and there isnt a lot of School System encouragement for boys to have good role models like in most schools in the Elementary School years they have a lot of female teachers so boys go from female only homes to female only schools and its not, doesnt take a great scientists to wonder why to not be perplexed that they are going to be more attractive to gang leaders giving them structured, giving the meaning and purpose to their so there testosterone ends up being structured as channeled destructively. We have a lack of concern with reports issues and the reason is historically in order to be a real man you have to prepare yourself to be disposable. To be a man they had to prepare yourself to be dispersible in the hazardous job in the workplace or at the executive level position and what the japanese call death from overwork. The reason we cared about man and we call them heroes is because they were willing to die so the rest of us would live. When you train people to die in order to love them you cant be too emotionally attached to their health. Boys have historically developed a row at the intelligence which is training for a short life as a person who has Health Intelligence which is training for a long life or refers to a Emotional Intelligence which is training to be able to express your feelings, your fears and talk about them in a healthy way without whining about them. This is a great opportunity for voice in the future but boys in the future who dont have their own sense of purpose have a purpose for it and when they have a purpose void combined with the lack of father they have a perfect boy plus a dad void so they dont have their father to guide them to have to discipline to achieve that for adf purpose in their life and then they become the failure to launch and they become ashamed of themselves and they become angry people who are not paying attention to them and giving them praise by teachers and male female peers are their parents. Those boys with a lack of purpose oftentimes get depressed and withdrawn to video games. They dont want to be rejected so pornography is access to a variety of attractive women without fear of rejection at a price they can afford. But then they get addicted to more and more risky things with women so when they finally meet a woman they may be interested in being sexual with them and the woman feels like shes being treated like an object because shes being treated like an object so she withdraws which tells the boy hes a loser increases the shame and anger and the worstcase scenario thats the background of the mass shooter or the boy that is saying in a desperate way i will make people for threat that they didnt worry about me, talk about me, care about me. Host do you have statistics in your book the boy crisis that the mass shooters have been overall fatherless . Guest yes, exactly. My wife teases me of being obsessivecompulsive in the book but because im saying things that are different i want to be sure they are not only make headlines but ive done the research personally as in the case of mass shooters are in the other cases that ive done the research very thoroughly. Host is that sense of purpose he referenced earlier in our dna . Guest thats a really good question i think the answer is yes and here is why. Its in the dna and innate dichotomous type of way so for example males know that women as a rule and even animals know, male animals knows among the animal population 85 of the reproduction happens by the female having sex in reproducing with the alpha male. You have all these mails including human beings competing to be the alpha male so they will attract the women to be sexual with then reproduce with. So among buckeye elks for examples of females are almost always attracted to the buckeye elks that have the biggest rack but in order to get the biggest rack, his sense of purpose becomes getting the biggest rack become in the alpha male because his sense of purpose is wanting to reproduce and be attractive so that buck elk in order to become the all up with the biggest rack has to, he loses 32 or 33 of those calcium and minerals to get that big rack so he has to immediately, he reproduces to get rid of that rack otherwise he is highly likely to die if the window comes to sin and he isnt able to replenish those nutrients before the winter comes. That is the story of masculinity. Mans weakness is our facade of strength. This facade of strength that rack was the elks weakness but it was functional for achieving the purpose of craving the next generation. Host adhd, on the increase . Guest definitely more recognized in probably over recognized with males because what we do with boys as boys start showing signs of being fidgety and so won one and nowadays we say its probably adhd when what we should be saying is that boys need more recess at school. Not until recently the centers for Disease Control did research on recess and its effectiveness and doesnt take away from a child being able to study effectively or does it add to a child being able to study effectively and they found for each recess was more functional for a child doing better on tests than each minute studying for tests a test. This is true for both boys and girls but its much more true for boys. They have responded to boys that are fidgety by doing less with them doing less Vocational Education. The things that have infuriated male teachers the things that boys need enable to be able to move from adhd to focus in being motivated is to education and emphasis on boys doing things rather than rehearsing things and learning turn out not to be as motivating for boys. They give them medication rather than different types of education. We also find adhd when children are raised predominantly by the dads only 15 of children have adhd. When children are raised predominantly by moms 50 of adhd and they are one of the reasons for that is because thats her former likely to be engaged in the boundary enforcement role with the children. Dads and moms will set boundaries the same way. They will say to their children you cant have ice cream until you finish your peas and children of course will test those. Theyll have as few peas as possible in order to get their ice cream to the difference in the ways moms and dads tends to enforce their boundaries and moms will say okay sweetie i know you dont want your peas so ill tell you what have this many more peace peas and she will separate half of the end then you can have your ice cream mom is able to be negotiated with so the child has happened for peas and says okay mom i tried can i have my ice cream now . She says i do want to give an big fight over peas yes he kannon the dads is no you cant. The deal is you cant have your ice cream until you finish your peas so when children are learning with their dad is they cant have what they want to have the ice cream until they focused their attention on doing what they need to do which is finishing to did not focusing their attention on manipulating a better deal. The children raised by dads are much more likely therefore to have that postponed gratification. Postponed gratification of the single biggest predictor of success but its also the biggest predictor of success at being able to rehearse for the player the Basketball Team or finish her homework without being distracted. That success is what makes boys and girls feel they have friends or. Thats what prevents them from going into depression depression and they tend to go down the slippery slope that in the worstcase scenario moves to depression, anger withdrawal alienation and Mass Shootings. Host you used the phrase failure to launch. What does that mean . Guest basically the toy has the excitement but does not have postponed gratification to be able to do with this dream is. One mom raises a child shes very encouraged about the boys and girls to go after their dreams but when a boy or girl is encouraged to go after their dreams but doesnt have the discipline to do the play, to rehearse the music to rehearse on the Basketball Team were do their homework it doesnt fulfill his dream and when the boy or girl cannot fulfill their dream they become disappointed in themselves, ashamed of themselves and after a while they become afraid to dream. Read disappointed in your liberal colleague on their reaction to this book in their research . Guest ive been very disappointed in my liberal colleagues. Ive been very disappointed that liberals who say, you consider yourself a liberal. I consider myself mostly liberal at this point. Part of what i thought i was part of to be a liberal was caring and compassion and wanted to make sure the people were included and i never wanted liberalism to stand for we want freedom for women without concerns about whats best for children. Im still in favor freedom for women but i want women to have the choice in whether or not to have children but the second they make the choice to have children they should have free choice for their childrens needs to be heard. You dont have to do that in life now that you have her control but if you choose to do that then you choose to give up the choice of making your personal freedom more important than your childrens healthy life. Host Warren Ferrell you talk about the cost of the boy crisis. Whats your estimate . Guest my estimate is about 1 trillion a year if you think about the Homeland Security cost in protecting against isis and the cost of prisons. We have had a 700 increase in the prison population and the prison building. The cost of maintaining those prisoners who then become men who are draining taxpayer dollars as opposed to contributing taxpayer money. If we think about the Mass Shootings and the security in finance and we think about women who are raised by fathers, those women are far more likely to be on well far as not having jobs themselves and having children out of wedlock in their teenage years and our economy supporting them. On and on like that with trillions of dollars over period appears and 1 trillion per year that we spend by not paying attention to the boy crisis. Was good to wish her coauthor . Guest john gray he was the writer of women are from mars with we both knew about each other and we used to differ a great deal and to some degree dump thats exactly why. Has the best of his ideas and hopefully the bus to my ideas plus hes an absolute genius when it comes to nutrition and adhd. He has written five wonderful chapters on how to prevent adhd and how to reverse it if your son does have it. Host by firstgrade youre right boys and girls raised in families with fathers present have significantly higher iq scores than those in families where fathers are absent. How do you know that . Guest kyle fluor has done studies on males and females and hes from yale university. He found, he looked at control groups of boys that didnt have father involvement in that father involvement differs by the way. Its true not only in the early years but its true in premature births. Boys and girls who have fathers attending to them when they are born prematurely are released from the hospital much more quickly. They develop iq scores that are higher much more quickly. Every single age i want to make it really clear this does not mean that mothers arent important. Children who do best have mother involvement and father involvement. They have what i call check and balance. In parenting. The mother says maybe in a couple of years you can climb that tree and the dad says let her climb the tree, it will be good for her. Mom and dad start negotiating in saying well they can climb the tree but not beyond this point. You have to be right under the tree in case jimmy r. Jane falls and by the way give me your cell phone so you dont get distracted. That negotiation allows children to be able to make decisions about who would risk are appropriate and what risks are inappropriate without hurting themselves in the process. They have the best of both worlds when moms and dads respect each others contributions and dads in order to have that in addition to listening to mom and dads also have to know how to benefit from things like roughhousing and climbing trees are through the children that climbed the tree increase not just their iq and increase their ability to do Risk Assessment as part of entrepreneurs, people who have learned how to assess risk and those are what allows them to be concerned. To protect our daughter so much and then expect them to be the future risktakers on entrepreneurs is to create an unruh is taken and just expectation on our daughters. Must go back to the book by the age of nine boys have 14 reduction in telomere. Guest telomeres, every cell has telomeres in it and the telomeres the longer they are the more they contain genes that allow your genes to be able to prevent yourself from having cancer or Heart Disease or whatever your biological heritage is. Scientists have found at the age of nine and a half the longer your telomeres are they are longer 40 your Life Expectancy is likely to be about 14 longer telomeres of children boys and girls who have a lot of father involvement they found a fall that they tested for the most important one was father involvement and the children at the age of nine and a half with no father involvement on average there telomeres were 14 shorter than those that had significant father involvement. Then they divided the mailman female children and found the boys telomeres when they did not have significant father involvement were 40 shorter than their sisters leading to an Life Expectancy that would be 16 or 70 shorter predictably at the age of nine and a half. So there are thousands of things and the the boy crisis book that explain why fathers are so important that there are many things i do not know which are all the reasons why telomeres are so much harder when theres a lack of father involvement. We will be discovering the things over the next century. Ive only been able to identify 70 Different Things that are positive or negative from voice or girls went father involvement is not involved. Father involvement by the way is the most important one for 20th at once is not being aware that the boy crisis exists. This is why ive been trying to get the Trump Administration to create a white House Counsel on man and on the public agenda is a National Awareness that private companies and philanthropys and professional associations can start to say what is it about happening to boys that our expertise can be helpful to minimize it . Host what has been the response from the Top Administration . Guest its very positive. Steve wagner from hhs says he wants to be the point person on it. Bob mcewen is very active with republicans in the libertarian movement. He said he will also help steve wagner the point person and Jerome Powell and some of the other people that have understood this. Westco dr. Farrell what is the pushback on working on this crisis . Is that they political pushback . What is it . Guest it saved political pushback from liberals. Host what is the reasoning . Guest their reasoning is they want moms but will that freedom to raise children with or without dads in the women want to be able to let their old life go. They made a mistake when they married the man that they married in may of married in the avenue man and they want to deal to move out of state to a new location and forget about the biological dad. I was not inherently opposed to that until i found that out in Childrens Development and still saying i wanted to write about that even though the National Organization for women colleagues wanted to say to cost well over 30 million speaking engagement costs and awards and honors. Because i broke from the politically correct line of saying a woman should have the freedom to be fulltime mothers and it doesnt do anything but good for the children. Host what about stepfathers . Guest the problem is stepfathers especially when their girl children is stepfathers never become more than an adviser to the mother. The mother has to be very aware of everything that dad style parenting contributes to be able to give natural instinct to let the father but tough love type statistics and say sweetie you wanted new teacher. She teacher doesnt like you . I want you before you have a new teacher to learn how to get along with a teacher you because in life you will not always have colleagues and bosses you can get along with. That tends to be the dad part of that to dads do a good job of explaining to moms dont put that training is in moms dont do a good job of feeling the stepfather was not the biological father has something to contribute here. She tends to take role of the boss and the bestoffive stepfather can do is to become the adviser but often advising differently than her propensity to protect she often feels the reason he doesnt want to do the same things to protect my child is because he doesnt love a child as much as i do. The step other census that so he goes back to earning more money which is the one area where he is appreciated. Children use the benefit of the dad style parenting in their life. Host what about fathers who are Single Parents . Guest thats where fathers do reasonably well with their children much better than moms Single Parents do and thats one of the things i say. And i would never have thought it. Thats where the research did lead and understand i am not who wanted the research to lead were glad because i knew i was risking millions of dollars in income. Im not like mr. Altruistic just give it away type of thing. Host thats a little bit about the boy crisis why our boys are struggling and what we can do about it with so pleasant coauthor john gray. This is booktv on cspan2. What has happened since this book came out is trump has gone up in Approval Rating by two points, so this story has increased his popularity. I was afraid of that. I hadnt figured that out. George mcgovern, does anybody remember George Mcgovern . Bill clinton when he was running for president and he had what was called the bimbo explosion and i said senator mcgovern would you think about all these women coming after clinton and the governor said to me its helping him. I think its true because men who have their choice of women are seen as leaders and this is a bit more women to come forward hes more like inges con. Hes more like alexander the great light candidate, clinton, name them. Its the mark of a leader in many peoples eyes to see a man taking what he wants. I would like to bring to the front daniel brook the author of the accident of color a story of race in reconstruction. [applause] thank you so much reverend for that generous introduction. The phrase beyond my wildest dreams is kind of a throwaway phrase in our culture