[cheering and applause] [inaudible] [cheering and applause] [inaudible] suggested to joe that he ask me out and i called my mother at 1 00 oclock in the morning and said mom, ive met a gentleman im a mother and a grandmother, friend any teacher, wife and a sister. Every role i have played has taught me so much about what family means. I have learned and am still learning about the bonds that make up a family and this is the truest thing i know that love makes a family home and does not matter if youre blending a family with biological and nonbiological children or healing the wounds of a loved one but this is the story of how joe and i created our family. We had no roadmap or master plan but we faltered at times but we never stopped working hard to keep the Family Strong and we did it all together. We built our family, rebuilt it when we had to and discovered along the way the meaning behind the beautiful words of the 13th century persian poet, let a teacher waive away the flies and put up plaster on a wound but dont turn your head. Keep looking at the bandage place that is where the light enters you and dont believe for a moment that you are healing yourself. [applause] good evening. Thank you all so much for coming out this evening for this event. Was that not a wonderful video . Thank you, doctor biden for sharing that with us. My name is [inaudible] coowners of politics and prose bookstore and we are here tonight with our friends from sixth and i, our favorite partners in the book event business and we love having events here. Its such a magnificent setting tonight will be no exception. It is such an honor of course to introduce doctor jill biden tonight for discussion of her new book, as you know from the video and from the photo up there is called where the light enters, building a family and discovering myself. Most of you and most of america know jill biden as our former and very much admired second lady of the united states. [cheering and applause] she served in that role for eight years during the Obama Administration and lets just say that there are a lot of people across our country, including in this room, i think, at this very moment were hoping she returned to the white house a couple januarys from now. [cheering and applause] couple of januarys from now in a slightly different role and i expect theres one person in particular in this room who, above all, may have something to do with that and wed like to welcome Vice President biden as well this evening. [cheering and applause] now, one of the most notable things about doctor bidens tenure as a second lady was that she fulfilled the money often hidden response abilities but serious responsibilities as the spouse of the Vice President while maintaining her professional career as a professor at Northern Virginia trinity college. [cheering and applause] from her office in the white house she worked tirelessly often alongside Michelle Obama and often alongside president obama and Vice President biden to advance the obama policy agenda and also to protect and strengthen our democratic and civic values. A few times a week she left the premises to cross the river to virginia where some of her students knew her only as doctor b, completely unaware of her parallel existence at 1600 pennsylvania avenue and that she could operate so brilliantly and so gracefully into distinct worlds at the same time is a testament to the woman and human being that she is. Doctor bidens life story as she recounts in her touching and thoughtful memoir has not been a fairytale throughout much as she hoped it would be as a child growing up in willow grove, pennsylvania but it was from living through ups and downs excesses and failures triumphs and heartbreaking grief that she was able to find her true love and life partner a dashing young senator from delaware named joe biden and her sense of purpose as an independent professional woman and as a teacher and her unwavering devotion to family and country. The title of the book as she mentions in the video, where the light enters, will be familiar to readers of the poet and be a phrase that comes etched in your mind as you follow doctor bidens through the pages of her lifes journey. What a privilege it is to be with her and hear about her book and life, please join me in welcoming doctor jill biden. [cheering and applause] [cheering and applause] connect thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Wow. Very emotional. Good evening and thank you for joining me for this very special evening for me. Journalist said successful marriage requires falling in love many times but always with the same person. [laughter] in this book i write about the first time i fell in love with joe but there have been so many times and watching his courage over the years and the many roles he has played, father, friend, husband and son, senator and Vice President has inspired me again and again. Even today i see a different side of him talking to people and doing what he loves most and i saw fall in love with him all over again. Thank you, joe. [applause] im also joined this evening by our daughter, ashley and my granddaughter maisie and my niece misty and family and friends i have my colleagues i see them over there. Hello, noah. Many friends who have kept me sane like my friends from my bar class. Its not like bar in drinking but far in exercise. Anyway, the many people here who have made this moment possible and thank you to my beloved team jill, all these people i have worked with over the past 11 years who are here tonight to support me. Its a little surreal to be here and to talk about this book and usually im sitting where you are to hear many of the extraordinary authors, politics and prose brings to washington. Thank you for your friendship and for your literary leadership and thank you very much. [cheering and applause] this book was a little dreamlike to write as well. Going up i never imagined that i would write Something Like this and being vulnerable in front of such a large audience is not really my nature but then i never imagined i would marry a united state senator or become second lady either. Growing up in an idyllic suburb of the adelphia, a young slightly rebellious rooting for the phillies and working during the summers to get money for college at the jersey shore i im i only wanted two things and that was a marriage like my parents, strong and loving and full of laughter and i wanted a career. As it turned out i got both but the path to getting both was just a little meandering and that is really what this book is all about. A strange and exciting and unexpected journey in the family that made it possible and made it all worth it. When joe and i got married he told me jill, your life will never change. [laughter] now, i dont want to spoil the book for you but he was wrong. [laughter] my life changed and changed and it is still changing as we speak. That is probably true for most of you as well but lets face it, change is not always fun and its hard sometimes but sometimes that change makes us who we are. Id like to read two excerpts from my book and so this is the first one. It is hard to know what you [inaudible] a lot of people russell with the fact that the love of their lives love someone else first. Perhaps never stopped loving that person. Some people feel jealousy him a some people feel inadequate, some people but questions of what might have been eat away at their peace of mind. As president Theodore Roosevelt is rumored to have said, comparison is the fief of joy. I understand those complicated emotions but i have never felt threatened by neilia. Joe has always made sure that i feel his love for me and in fact, he often jokes that he loves me more than i love him. [laughter] how can he measure that . I dont know but from the beginning i knew this is what i said to joe, i knew if he could love neilia that deeply, that completely then maybe i could be loved that completely, too. And this could be the love i had been looking for and the kind of love my parents had. Joe used to tell the boys that mommy sent jill to us. He believed it so the boys did as well. It was a gift joe gave them. A way to make sense of the world. I didnt want her memory to be hidden away. I didnt want the boys to think that they had to choose between mass or feel like they had to put asidhave toput aside that pf themselves. So we made space for her. We didnt live in the home that they shared, but she was there nonetheless. We kept her pictures displayed around the house. She reappeared in his story. I knew they carried a piece of her with them and i caught glimpses of what i knew must be her last, the crinkle of her nose, the curve of her brow in their faces. I wanted joe to remind them over and over again just how much she loved them because she would always be their mother. There was no us without her. Every december 18, the day of the accident, we made the world to stop. Joe stayed home from work and the boys went late into school. We went together to the 7 a. M. Mass at the church in wilmington. After that, joe and the boys would go to the cemetery while i went home and prepared coffee, bagels, fruit and yogurt for the extended family. Jack and no valerie, whoever ele wanted to come by. Joe told me neilia loved white roses, so i would buy a grave blanket and add three white roses with babys breath, one for joe, hunter and beau. I put it in the back of joes car so that he didnt have to think about it. When they got to the cemetery, he and the boys could share their moment and memories together. For years, i never joined them. It was their time with neilia. But the year after beau died, for the first time, i went with joe. I held his hand as we stood there in the chilly december morning and i thought of the words that i knew were spoken of her eulogy. Like an untimely frost, upon the sweetest flower of all the fields in. I thought about the families that we have made together, the three of us. I owe her so much my loyalty, my gratitude for the gift of these beautiful boys and yes, my love and if she had sent me im hope shes grateful she did a. And since you are here tonight ashley, i chose this for you. Joe also love to tell the story about the battle of the headbands. Back in the 80s when everybody wore headbands, i have a whole lot of them in my bathroom. I have every color in the rainbow. Platt, rainbows, it may sound strange now, but it was very fashionable at the time. Ashley would go in and take them for herself without asking. As joe tells it, he said i would wake up in the morning and there would be the two of them going its my headband, and now its mine. [laughter] i cant say that i agree completely with his retelling but i admit i was frustrated by my constantly disappearing hair accessories. [laughter] whenever she and i would get into an argument, i put on those shoes and go running to calm myself down. We argued so much i became a marathon runner. [laughter] it wasnt the same with joe. He doted on her and their personalities never clashed the way that i was dead. Perhaps it was that motherdaughter thing, but not one that i recognized at all. My relationship with my mother was so different. Believe me, i tell her, when you have a child i hope she is a girl so she can put you through what you put me through. [laughter] this meant i had a new appreciation for my father. This child was obviously his perfect revenge. She would come in after her curfew were sometimes cut school. She was stubborn and rebellious like i was though she never got into serious trouble. I tried to channel my mothers parenting calm, cool headed, always nurturing. But it was the style that i reverted to most often, one of love. My relationship with ashley was different from the ones i have with the boys, it was just fact, different, not more or less. I saw myself in beau and hunter, too and it was unique. Beau has my sense of humor completely. Whenever he started i knew something funny was about to come out of his mouth. The two of us were the only ones that would pick on joe and he loved thaloved the private savis dad that no one else dared. But it wasnt just our personality traits that overlapped. With his long hair and blue eyes, people always remark on how we look alike. You take after your mom, strangers would tell us when we were together, and they would smile and share a secret with never correcting them. I had a fellow scholar and writer he loved books and poetry just like his english professor mother. Shes the one i want to call when i finish a heartbreaking novel. He has insight and wisdom and it makes me see things through a different prism and though he is my most courageous child, i always feel the most protective of him because they know that he shares my guarded emotional side. We are not the politicians of the family but the strength for what we believe. He came with me to provide aid after hurricane katrina, and we visited kenya together. Like me, he can see others suffering without wanting to step in and. I am a part of my kids and they are a part of me. I love them each in different ways. And often unevenly. In the end, though it is on even, it equals us. At least that is my hope. He once alleviated my fears. I never doubted. When i asked him why, he said because you yelled at her just like you yelled at us. [laughter] laughter i want to thank you for being here. It really means a lot to me. Now it is my pleasure to sit down with tracy and the author of multiple awardwinning cookbooks. [applause] her latest book was written with her family and is revolutionizing the way we eat, cook and live. While i am not sure im going to be spending too much time in the kitchen in the coming months, i look forward to making your nachos and i know you are going to love them because they are filled with kale and avocado. [laughter] looking defiantly through illness, i know we are going to have a lot to talk about. [applause] first of all, what i want to say first is i absolutely love this book. I decided i was going to read it over a little bit of time, picked it up and read the entire thing in one sitting. I loved it that much. And as i was reading it, i felt myself relating to you in so many ways and i was thinking my goodness, thats me. She is writing about me. And then what i realized was that so many women relate to you and your story. It wasnt just me, you were telling all of our stories through your own, so i was just curious what do you hope people take away from this book . The one thing i hope everybody that reads the book takes away is nowadays, when i was growing up it was the nuclear family, the mom, dad and the kids. Thats now families are so different. Single moms, single dads, theres interracial marriage, there are so many different types of families now that people get to define themselves and the one thing the common denominator i think for all families, and this is what i hear from my students as well that right about th write abouts oldest wine is the common denominator is love, and if you think of the one thing that anybody here in the audience what you say about your own families, you would say the one thing that you all possess is love for your children, your spouse, your partners. The other thing that occurred to me that if you likely know so much about you but then i realized that you actually seem to be a very private person. Its sort of a funny dichotomy. Ive also been in the public eye for most of my life and when i picture myself writing a book exposing that about myself, it is daunting. I was just curious if this was a difficult choice for you to decide to share the most intimate details of your life. It was interesting. The first book, when i thought about writing a book that was because we had such an incredible experience traveling all over the world, all over the country and meeting so many resilient people from the hospital into the women in guatemala who were making bracelets we want you to write a book that is unique to you as a story that only you can tell. The. I went back to them and said here are some of the stories about my life and if they especially love the bikini story so for those of you that will read it its about politics and keeping joe in line. The guy was on the lower level and i could hear them upstairs like youve got to do this and youve got to do this. I was so angry so i walk into the house and the first thing i saw was a magic marker. So i had a twopiece bathing suit and i wrote no on my stomach and i walked through the meeting. They got the message. [laughter] we focus in the video that was beautiful in the beginning of the book, you quote the problem to veto the title of your book is taken from that. But theres one lin there is one book i was curious about, dont turn your head. And i was curious that seems significant to you and wit whatt line means to you. Making yourself when you are vulnerable and hurting yet when you experience loss like we had in our family what that means. They dont believe in a moment that you are healing yourself and thats what i found through lost is that i never could have made it through without friends and family. Many of you in this room who supported me with your notes and your cards and your love and caring. I teach at a Community College and its really a Larger Community whether that is through loss or illness or whatever you were going through i think it is that sense of community that helps us that we lean on one another and that is what helps us to get through. You also talk about your close relationship with your parents and your sisters growing up and you refer to this as the circle of loyalty which i thought was beautiful and then later you write about joe and the boys and say when the others turned their backs and walk away you can count on me to stay. That was their bond of shared grief, trust, it was then against the world and they were asking me to join that sacred circle. It seems like you found something that was very close to the relationship that you had with both your parents and sisters and it seems this is a strong theme that seems to run through your life. Im curious when creating these kinds of relationships how did that inform you once you got to washington. Our family is very close and when i met joe, they had a very close circle and then i felt such love as they opened up the circle and allowed me to come in. I think that our family is a weve done everything together and when you are in public life, you need that loyalty, love, caring and so as we go forward in our next journey we will do what we have always done. We will lean on one another, support one another, and i think loyalty is an important trait and i told the story in the book im the oldest of five girls and so my younger sister came home and said to me to they keep throwing worms on me at the bus stop and she was crying about it and i said okay. If you are a dont you ever throw worms on my sister again and then i was so scared i ran all the way home. I said i just punched drew in the nose and he said good for you. [laughter] so is the loyalty we grew up with. We took care of each other and im sure that is true of you and your group siblings. Did you ever do that . The other thing you talk about a lot is your parents deep abiding love for one another. You say their devotion to each h other that is a small request he made it to the universe. Give me a love like theirs. Give me a family of my own. I was just curious how did you find what youre looking fo your in your relationship . Are there similarities . There were a lot of similarities. We grew up in a middleclass and we were very lead it to beaver family and it was idea like a. Thats what we grew up with and so the values i always felt secure, loved unconditionally. My parents gave that to me, that gift. So i sort of reached back to what i knew and what i had growing up as a young girl knowing how secure my appearance made me feel. When we got married i have been teaching. I wanted to establish myself as their mom into one of the things i did, i was going to volunteer in their school and they were so proud. They always felt secure and loved and came along and they never doubted it was just a loving family at the un chapel that was so funny we went to get a marriage license and we knew nobody recognized joe. [laughter] they wanted me to have it and it was just ever so thoughtful and loving and store the you talk about finding your voice. You start off by talking about how you are an introvert nationallnaturally and public sg doesnt come naturally which is hard for me to believe. [laughter] im curious if you can tell us all a little bit because you have obvious that overcome those obstacles and it is such a difficult thing to get up in front of an audience. When we wer were were in elea Vice President , i thought you know what, ive been given such a platform and i can talk about all my passion and things i love for educatiolove, education ande Community Colleges, military families. I thought i cannot waste this platform. Im going to get better at this. So i made myself because i was used to speaking to 25 students in a classroom, but then as Vice President , he was speaking to hundreds and sometimes thousands of people when i stood up so i knew i had to push myself. And i dont know, i tried to take that lesson to my students as well to say take risks, push yourself, try to be better. Thats the one message i tried to give them, to give them confidence because i think it doesnt matter whether they learn the statement or knowhow tknow howto do a research paperh the dean is here so yes, that does matter. [laughter] i think if i can give them confidence, thats what its all about. Joe was so instrumental in his sister was a mentor to me because she had been through many campaigns, so that was really wonderful to me. You talk about that in the book. Another thing that youve spoken a lot and you are open in public about, a lot of the tragedy that youve had in your life, the accident that preceded your relationship with joe, beaus illness and then death and to talk about the fire that destroyed your family home. Youve shown so much resilience and i wonder if you have any advice about how to help someone going through similar tough times and where you find the strength and resilience. I think after beau died, joe and i had a purpose in our lives and we said you know, what would beau want us to do. I think probably if i asked the audience how many of you have lost someone you love to cancer or maybe you are going through a diagnosis right now your self, everyone has been touched by it and show and i realized it. Barack and michelle were so kind to us to bring all of the federal agencies together to break down the silo and have been working to change cancer as we know it and once we got out of the white house, we formed fd providing cancer and initiative. And i travel all over the country as does joe and we try to help families and joe needs with a love of the doctors and tries to work with agencies and foundations. My job is to work with families and patients into victims of cancer and the survivors. And i think you have to find purpose in your life. And thats what we have really tried hard to do. So no matter where this new journey takes me and take joe, we will always, no matter what, still work on defeating cancer. [applause] you also talk about his optimism and that is something that has helped you through. I ask that because they also i a famously optimistic husband. For the rest of the members of my family, but i believe so strongly he was going to live. They said only 1 will live and i felt like he was so special, he was going to be that 1 . I felt it in my heart and then when he died, and i prayed so hard that he would live the. I sort of backed away from my face because i couldnt get over it. But we were in South Carolina about two weeks ago and i was joking with joe in my church, im protestant antichoice catholic but you go to church and sit there so quietly with your hands at your side, everything is quiet. But we went to a black church and there was so much joy and singing and it was just like so welcoming. The woman next to me i didnt know her but she put her hand on my hand and said i want to be your prayer partner and it took my breath away. Its been four years it is time for you to come back to so shes actually called me im trying to work my way back to religion and prayer because the one thing i learned ive met so many people suffer from cancer who have prayed for me and joe and our family and i feel now i overcame my prayers not only that you get from yourself and for your spouse but from everybody are bound to give it. The people you dont even know are wishing the best for you and hopefully everybody has Something Like that in their lives. It does help you get through the tough times. To get your degree to become a doctor is something that is so important to you and then later made history at becoming the only second lady to hold a job outside of the white house. I my favorite image in the book is picturing the secret Service Agents dressed as students. [laughter] my last question will you make history again and become the first lady to work outside of the white house . [cheering] we are not taking anything for granted, but i would love to still keep teaching if my job is open. I dont know. [laughter] what was the moment when you doubted your self and how did you push through it . I guess that moment when he was chosen to be Vice President. I just teaching and it was in august a of my School Semester started a. Of course i was so excited that i couldnt smile. One phone call and our lives are completely changed. So i did doubt whether i could be on a national stage. He pushes me and says you can do this. Hes been amazing. So thank you. [applause] somebody wants to know what is your favorite white house memory . Another story. Get used to it. We had so many, so many incredible memories. Something new and exciting and different people or places. But i have to tell you at the end of our administration, he called me and said i want to give joe the medal of freedom and i dont want anybody to know about it. I remember waking up this morning i was going to teach. I was so excited and i thought this is going to be one of the best days of your life. So i went and i talked that day and changed in the bathroom like i usually do. He was called upon the stage and gave him the medal of freedom. Just to the happiness i felt at that moment was incredible. What is your advice for stepmo stepmoms . I didnt i have neilia but she was deceased so i never felt like i was competing but the advice i have two kids is just one of those kids, shower them with love. Love makes a family so you can make that family for your loved. The privacy factor when i go to the supermarket people look in my cart. I send my sister to pick up the personal items. [laughter] someone wants to know if you were to be first lady, wha whatf shwhatissues would be closest tr heart . Education, education. [applause] what have you learned about america from working at a Community College . I travel all over this country fighting for free Community College. Community colleges are just such special places they are incredible teachers. It is a nurturing environment we have so many wraparound services. Its less expensive for kids i try to call them now you can go to Community College for two years and then slide right into a four year college as a junior and save so much money and get such an incredible education. The students i have to tell you they are amazing and they are working sometimes on or two more jobs. They come into my class at 8 00 in the morning and they are just ready to go. I have a story that i love to tell because some people find it hard to believe. When i went to teach at nova it was the end of the first semester and not everybody do in fact very few of my students knew because they never discussed politics, im always in english teacher and i was doing great conferences in may and a young woman comes in and says i saw you on tv last night with Michelle Obama. I said mom come here thats my english teacher. And she said thats not your english teacher that is the second lady of the united states. [laughter] and it still remains that way to this day but i love that they accept me as, well she didnt know. What you just said is the question so many of us want to know what is your relationship like with michelle . It started out we didnt know each other terribly well but like any relationship it starts out you get to know each other more and more and then eventually it became a relationship of true love and respect. I know joe talked to barack. They do have that bromance they talk about. And i talked to michelle about two weeks ago. The girls played on the same sports teams. So i think Going Forward what we need is for people to come together, work united. Pa government that people on both sides of the aisle just working together. That is what we are going to try to do. The one thing that came up that i found interesting was food you talked about your family meals when you were growing up and that is something that youve done all throughout your married life so i want to know what is your perfect venue for your family neil . He once everything with red sauce. Always ice cream you know that about him. Its like you said. I prefer vegetables so i try to get them in as much as i can. I have to ask all the people in my family whether they believe one of the vegetarian meals. What do you think . [cheering] [cheering] republican with what he remembered about june 14 . I remember waking up excited to go to practice before the congressional baseball game and just a great tradition. I was announced to be the second base store so i was excited about that. You get out there early in the morning working with your colleagues and its kind of lighthearted because the practice has already