E. G. Which has 8 million readers and is long pest running advice column in the u. S. Shes been featured in many other publications since rolling stone, gq and glamour hosted ask gene and have been a frequent guest on today show. In what do we need men for her new pest book which were all here to hear about today hits the road to speak to women about about hideous men and whether we need them. To answer to the question that is title poses will shock men and delight women weaves her story to create a dark and funny hopeful narrative lot as most read book by the washington post, l. A. Times, National Book review, refinery 29 and hopefully all of you here tonight after this talk. Tonight eg will be in conversation with virginia, as well as jolley both of whom are journalist for late. Please join me many welcoming eugene carol and dolly. Thank you for coming everyone so pleased. This is great. So excited that virginia are here. Theyre like the best they wrote the best piece wrote the best piece in virginia, and like just the most wonderful podcast. Oh, open my mic you hear this now . I was you didnt hear the praise for diaw and virginia they just diaw wrote this seminal piece about what happened to me in the dressing rooms that was diaz first week, and then virginias podcast trump cast she had come on and they did this seminal podcast about what happened in theburg dwarf dress room so two women have come forward stood up put everything into context so we wanted to have them here. This is enormous privilege partly i think i must have scammed this starting 20 years ago so that i could actually share this stage with someone whose advice to everyone else. I may have written anonymous letter too. [laughter] that i tried to follow your advice. Theres even some dieting advice that i tried to follow about getting yourself really hot so you have cool yourself off. But im really happy for the way you say what happened in the dress room and i assume everyone knows what were talking about. But this is eugene story and book is our things that happen to eg and a that you know, reflect on the other characters in the story one of whom is the president of the united states. But that are also shes tag scientist models taking back a womans story from things that happenedded to us. And i thought, i think that is one of the most powerful parts of the book, the voice is just so lively and vibrant. Yes. Thank you. I guess you know, ill just start with a medical question to move into more details and some of the humor of it. But i was really important to you not to see yourself as a victim in the story that this is not a victim state like they give at the end of a trial like how ive suffered it doesnt have that voice at all. Why was that so important to you . Because theres a lot of temptation right now to throw in with the kind of class action voice in the me too movement and say right, ive been like trounced too but that was you were determined not to do that and what was that thought process like . Its not in my temperament. My temperament is im married and just life is here i have one chance to live my life is very short, you know, and 75 now i look at a today as being one of the happiest days i just do not look back at the bad stuff. I just dont do it. I did it on this trip. What do you need men for so hair raising stories that remindinged me of the dick heads i knew so up it came. But basically it was my life has been very, merry and hilarious and along the way ive met some hideous men but ive gotten thats what keeps me happy. You have a great capacity to sort of move on. I tend to dwell and wallow i thank you for writing this book and virginia and i in your telling of this story. I dont to actually talk about that for a little while if thats okay. I want to talk about, i think that what got lost in this book when you read the book is this is a book about talking to people. It is a book about just going up to strangers that you never would meet in a barnes noble on broadway, and 80 seconds. If people all over the country and i want to know what thats like. Is it like to to up to people with nothing in common with you. They might have voted in ways it that alarm you. They might have, they do based on book some ideas that are kind of pale what is it like walking up to random strangers and small times with towns with girl names and just talking to them . When was last time you remember all on a road trip . Think back. Sheer heaven because Thompson Says it is a ticket. Nobody can reach you you dont have to do laundry i bought new socks every day and threw them away. Oh it was i never had to take off any shoes and be checked by security i was in that car. I was in that car for 4,000 miles. Going to town named after women nobody could get to him and nobody knew where i was. It was i think on the road she was the only one i had my dog carol with me. He never forgot his iphone plug we never had to turn around to get what he left. He loved ladies rooms. He freaked out when a spider fell, he hated stopping at monuments to men on the road he hated that. [laughter] he would urinate on them. So he was so the thing is the road trip drives this. And i went to towns, named after women but i went to town named after women in an old prius with huge poke dots painted on it, and lewis carol is a cream sickle colored pooldz but his got electric blue hair which i okay so pulling into a little town like lets say arkansas catfish capitol of the world all i had to do was pull into town and people come around to mess. First of all they love lewis. Because hes dressed in a collar with multicolored ribbon like a rough, rough, rough right you get the joke. It would be day that i can lewis i would hand him and whoever was talking i would hand them lewiss leash. Lewis would make all of the friends and then i would just say right out of the clear blue. What do we need men for . And boy i received shocking surprising wonderful answers because the well you know youres of the great press of the east coast. People are ignored in missouri and mississippi, and louisiana and you know, so so theyre really happy to talk. So thats what was it like but heaven it was just heaven. Tell us maybe three of the really memorable people that you met and their answers. So most memorable was kala. Cherokee indian, as everyone here knows, about that great nations of the indians on the east coast and the cherokee down south cause people had been owning the women in among her people the tribal leaders they own possessions, they could marry and divorce at will for hundreds and hundreds of years before so how kala handle if a man disrespects her on if a man does something that she doesnt like. She hauls up and punched him. And i just shes heard about wonder women you know theres an island with wonder women who do this and weve heard that women just somebody says something and should just cry. Well karla was a big woman. And she thats her brother was with her. Now henry i said well what do you hit him with and henry said it was karla a knife. So no that is how she handle it. Ivetle called hitting . No thats called thats called killing. [laughter] you didnt mess with karla had so i think women are in karla club they kick, hit guy. Back in the 50s of a man got fresh for this week they slapped them and anybody here remember that . Remember we slapped them. Right . In high school right . High school. Would you stand up please . There you go. [applause] you swapped him. Okay that would be one of them. It is crazy that slapping fell out of fashion. What do you think virginia i think you could do a lot of podcast about slapping men. With the rest can you think of two others or one other in the book that stands out . Yes. The house of beauty outside of two blow in what was the name of the town . Vero energetic n ams right down from the birthplace two young women well with one bought the house of beauty and inside was every beauty implement created since the 1600s every curling iron. Horrible pageful she had it all. And one of the young women gone to a fancy college and she gave a very eloquent answer about important to the family. About loving a young girl know her place in the world. Give her confidence with the father and she didnt need him. I know because eloquent young women was so with young men, and in the middle of a conversation she started to get angrier anding angrier about what we need men for bit end of the conversation she had slapped the so far pa she was sitting on so hard her friend jumped in the air. And said god damn it, up to here we work two jobs. Were underpaid. Were not getting any respect, shes raising her kids shes got two jobs shes got no money they have no place to live. So thats when she started to say she said im going to run for mayor. So there you go. So, i mean, the section that was observed in new York Magazine is timely but that is the most moving literary passage in the book. Im just hoping she won. Thats my question eugene which is you wrote three bookses in one. You wrote a hybrid where one of them is this sort of thompson journey through the red state book. Then you where a book that is on its own merits just a scorching revelation about how men have treated women in your with lifetime. Theres a me too president story. And that ps gets 95 of the oxygen and im wondering did you expect that to happen . Did you expect that the loveliness of this entire sort of liar call, i mean, youre writing could peel pant it is such a beautiful book and it all gets pushed aside by a small passage that i put in i think after you have undertaken this project they dont think that was a intention. And i guess im just wondering are you upset or frustrated that took over the story . No. Dory is publicity and understood what she had. Elizabeth and i just wanted everybody to read it. We love the book. You know, it is just when i finished it i called i call elizabeth she said what, you run out of hideous men is the book done you know, so she understood. What you know but we just want, we thought it was i said this a bit a mary romp thats what we thought had it was so fun i had so much fun that dog was hilarious and people are hilarious and i had this fabulous list of hideous men each one more hideous than the last. A serial killer really great great hideous men, and knew that this was going to make a bit of a saying so she made the book embargo so i was pretty surprised yeah. In new York Magazine, put together an excerpt, and i went into new York Magazine for the and jody our art director said was this was Eugene Amanda the great cosby photo remember the cover with the 35 women remember that had famous and they have amanda there and said this was going to be the cover and thats when i called dory. Really thats the moment it is i said dont tell me that. With trump cast as i hope youll see in the book youre a literary figure youre a, you know, driven by getting the story right telling in the entertaining amusing story, and these small revelations are beautiful. But i want to talk about responsibility so my son asked me recently why is rape so hard to report . And its sort of an in politic question hes 13, though. And i said i think it might be like if you got hit in the face like on the baseball field. And he said had oh i would never report that. Right because you know, i was like it is just a violent felony it is assault. And for some reason, if it happens to someone else, you can report it because youre helping them. But if it happens to you it is important that you show everyone that youre not a snitch. That youre a good sport that you can take it, and you know what i said, i said with my boyfriend too never someone hit me in the face in a bar i would never report it that was assailant that can go hit somebody else who maybe cant take it as well, and you know you saw trump running for president. You saw his rise in new york, and you know, that was your last sexual encounter. Did you feel any obligation even looking back to join voices with other women around the Hollywood Tape and say this was a taidges sexual predator. I thought it was helping him and more of his face loved it, and what happened since this book came out with Approval Rating by two points. So this story has increased his popular and i was afraid of that. I cant figured that out George Mcgovernor does anybody remember George Mcgovern i had lunch during the bill clinton when he was running for president and they have what was called the bimbo explosion. And i said, senator mcgovernor, what do you think about all of these women comeing after clinton and mcgovernor said to me it is helping him. And i think it is true. Because men who take what they want men who have their choice of women are seen as leaders thats how this is reading all of these women the more women that will come for. Hes more like khan more like alexandria the great hes like the great kennedy clinton, name, you know, jeff son. It is mark of a leader in many peoples eyes to see a man taking what he wants. I yeah does anybody disagree . Now you can stand here and say i told you so if it is going to help them but you still did it. Because i have a hideous list i said oh i told sarah my agent i said oh by the way sarah what did i say it was like one you better look at this because this is yeah. And i went ahead and did it. I just saw robi myers is here the editor in chief of l. Magazine for 17 years. Im so glad youre here. So yes. I had the diet and po perfect list i knew it was serial killer you know i had with list i had to be honest with myself. Symmetry hi five for symmetry. [laughter] so i dont know. Was that a mistake . Absolutely not. No. No i dont think this story drove his his ratings up 2 and for everyone who sees they may have gone up 2 for other reasons. But for everyone who sees as a great leader theyre everyone who marched in greatest world historical march in Human History who dont actually see this great lead or and who vote kowngts as much as everyone elses so i think it is extremely important story. And also the first to to spell out the ark of a womans life so not a single event in your life. I mean you have encounters that you dont actually consider nonconsensual or stretches with you know wild encounters with say thompson so you were driving cut off my leg with a knife and knife had a handle on it this it long. This long and the knife itself was this long. And he just swirled that to the air you could hear it and it picked up my leg and he sliced. It was like one of the greats nights of my life. It was and, i mean, thats the other thing is that you have the voice of this age of slapping on part of the woman, and and it is very, theyre very different stories than, you know, i went to meet with Harvey Weinstein about a part, and he jerked off in a potted plant there you have a little more. But it was sorry but we have to reminding everybody they dont have the nice and the johnson but in any case you have so much in this story and also so much sexual agency. So you know, thats really very exciting story, and also doesnt deplete adventure of sexuality that is into all of these messes to begin with. You know, hearing that Jeffrey Epstein story you can start to think that all is like rape, and it is nice to be reminded with your story that some of it is not. Some of it. Fabulous. I think we have a bunch of questions that are your questions that well ask and we ask this on cast. But i need to ask it again and it is about words. And language. All three of us are writer. You have to come to my defense here. No, i mean, im persuaded by everything that you said on trump cast but i want to unpack the fight the sort of fight everybody had for the first week after you came forward was why shengt using the word rape and i find is especially in intervening two week we thought about about are we allowed to use word racist now fighting about that in congressing. Are we allowed are the headline writers of the New York Times allowed to use the word racist are we allowed to use the word concentration camp . We are now litigating for choice, and i when we asked you about this at trump cast you said rape victims are a thing that i am not and so i do not call it a rape and i guess three week withs out are you say about choice to use language that you chose to use. Gets to choose her words everyone for your own experience you get to choose your words and to me i dont like the word for me. I like the word fight. So thats the word i use. I didnt realize what a storm that would cause because i was telling journalist there, and thats their purview is words. And you know, elizabeth and virginia took me to task and i cant back off. I cant call myself a, you know yeah. Youre an excellent witness to going into a vagina also a fight and you know to get back to my son in a bar getting hit by i love that thing. But i dont think he would walk want to think i was beat up. He would want to think i got into a fight. Right i was in a fight. Thats it. But it is also just like thinking of two of you who slap men who got fresh. Fresh thing whats fresh about it . But theres a level of physical in so many of your stories with hideous men where you like outrun someone and your story is like, yeah. And running your sort of physical life too and you refuse to be pinned and manage to escape but they feel like battles in a way that probably framing it that way in the story. I frame it so i can look good by running away. You know, but i did run. Yes. You are, and lake youre a real athlete. Yes. Im a competitive athlete so the thing i would go for is to be and my sister is the same way. She was held at knife point by her boyfriend. She was made to get down on the ground and gagged and with a gun to back of her head she went into a room after a business meeting and guy closed the door. I dont know what is beginning on in indiana. But this is it is amazing and she has same reaction i did she turned and you know, ran. Or smacked out of state trump cast they said those times climb on a rock wall and we were in the booth going no we dont climb rock walls we just read books. [laughter] like we dont do that okay. So audience questions and this is the first one. Why did you decide to write this book now . I think it was sarah said you should write a book. And what started it and we have letters coming in for 26 years, and i actually got sick of telling women to get rid get rid of him i ran out of ways to say get rid of him and get rid of him get rid of him and something occurred to me why dont we get rid of them. Oh, my god why dont we get rid of them yes, were going get rid of them so exciting to get rid of them and then i thought well lets just see if we need them for anything. First so i went to ask people , of course, theres something we can do with all of the men just for a while. For every part of the patriarch. Sorry. What this is a very probing question. What is your first name . Oh. Never before disclosed is this the night . I was my birth certificate i have adorable name betty gene i love it. Thats sweet. I, of course, isnt that a the greatest name . S it was just not grown up enough for me so i changed it to elizabeth and then when i wrote first article to esquire i thought so i shortened that to eg. So i could be so i made it up. Like elliot scott j. K. Rowling love it. There you go secret to fame. All right. Is the reaction to the book thus far what you expected . Well, i think dory expected it shes vp of publicity. I think elizabeth and i are a little l shocked. But im pleased because i was wrapped in a cocoon of love im telling you walking through new york is just people, the support it is wonderful. I am protected in this big cocoon it has been wonderful the support has been fabulous. I think i said this on the show but Monica Lewinsky said same thing after the scandal that new york put her in a big hug and i think were not so inclined to shame maybe in new york. No. Were not. No not our gig. We have a lot of shortcomings. We sluts here theyre powerful thats a powerful image. Robi and i once did column about that. Remember robi . [laughter] she doesnt. She remembers all right so we sort of touched on this but once again i guess why did you wait to publish a book to disclose trump Sexual Assault . Because nobody knew about it. Youve told two friends one here, lisa is here, lisa where is lisa . Lisa right here. I told lisa i made her promise not to tell anybody. And that was it. Because i thought it was a hilarious story laughing and laughing and lisa told me it was not funny and her tone completely changed. I told lisa dont tell anybody. Do not tell anybody. This is so what i was going so my hilarious story which i was going to dine out on for weeks right that was killed i realize still havent come to grips with what happened. So at the time that was good enough that we just were not going to talk about it. There are, an improbable thing because i do an enormous amount of me too event yet i think this audience is half man which is astangedding. Astangeding. And usually theres like one guy. Who is like meet girls an amazing representative of group of men who appear to want to be not vaporized and sold i think they would like to be allies. And i wonder i ask you this too but virginia and i both have teenage boys. So we dont have the option of raising nonally but i wonder what it is that we can tell all of these men to do different. Everybody in the audience answer this because this is beyond me. Really this is way of my line. The way what do you think youre the one with teenage boys what do you think dalia . Oh. Do you have an answer . Thank them for being here, and its everything right to show up. I have three sons e, 9 and a half and daughter who is six, and theyre all very literary and they saw me reading the book. And the boys were very confused not only are you reading this book like dont you love daddy, and dont you love us i said no, no kidding i said, of course. I said but i want to know in all ways how to raise you boys to not be hideous men. Good answer. And thank you for thank you for putting that out there. Wow, see we have five minutes any other there are going to be a lot i suspect over here. All right yes. Worked donald in 89, and i found him to be a wonderful employer. And i havent had any problems with him. Ive had many problems with many men. Celebrities, famous men, i could write my own book. How many men are on your hideous look . How many men are on your hideous list . 70. 70 wow im 91. You look incredible. Come up here and highfive. [applause] really 91 70 men on your hideous list. Yes. This is, take a bow this is wow. Ive never had work done or anything. I see you look like yourself. This is great. Anyway, donald was terrific. He was a terrific employer. After one year the girls got a 1,000 bonus because he wanted girls to look good but then again i didnt have much interaction with him but other men selects i can name were i would tell them you are not entitled to my body. Thats what i would say. Did you ever slap any of them . No i was always defending myself running and kicking them okay. You werent slapping . I have had a metal leg, and he was on top of me and i tried to you know get out from underneath him with a leg that was metal, and so i was really where what was agent . Sarah a book, heres a book. Sarah, that right there thats a literary agent there she is. 70, thank you. Youre welcome. Look at sarahs face shes going to kill me. Okay. I love hearing these story oarngd like we do need to remember that you dont need to encounter 70 criminal in your life, i mean, hideous takes a lot of forms but were talking of a pretty serious stuff here. Yep. Thank you i appreciate it. Im daniel, and you know, i feel like i know virginia a little bit from twitter which is kind of crazy because im hopelessly addicted to twitter so im on there a lot im a psychologist. What point that i want to make was just in the beginning when everyone, you know, we were kind of lamenting fact that trumps approval rose 2 after two day after the publish publishing of your book and today after the tweets that he made you know against the four Congress Women his points reportedly rose again like 5 . But what i think is being missed by everyone is that if you look at his approval in those polls, his approval among gop is at 72 and thats with the boost from the bigotry and it is just significant because all week in the week before hes talking about his 94 Approval Rating. Among the gop so there is a at least this is one poll from it so i dont know if it is a trend or anything but maybe that will make people feel a little better. Okay. Good for a lift and think theyve been misrepresented eg and thank you so much for sitting with us now twice, and handling these interrogations but the main thing the first step to whatever is actionable about what eugene has been is is really read the book because theres some details here have gone missing in other me too stories and also just that humor and poetry that only you can somehow find in hideous men. Thank you virginia. I think i would add two things one is to tag on to your how we raise our men, and more and more i think we have to raise goodbye starngdz and i think that there are a lot of men who see a lot of things and theyre not quite sure and you knows it was am big wowings and didnt quite no i and i think one of our jobs as parents of boys and girls is to teach them what it is to step ud say that sucks when you come to their friend and say this happen they say no that is not okay what happened and i think that is something that we can teach ourselves and our childrens that my thought so thats book please, and be better by starngdz and teach your children and then i also want to say echo what virginia said which is its been a hard flog for those of us covering me too stories for a couple of year. It eats you up inside. And to get to be with somebody who will just not do it on anyone term but their own has been like truly, truly a important experience of thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you everyone. Thank you. [applause] beautiful, beautiful give it up for virginia and ug one more time. That was absolutely fantastic now my favorite portion of the night which is book sign if you have not purchased a copy of what do we need men for we have plenty over here. Youre welcome to grab one and hit register on the way out. Were going to have you line up, down past christian live make a right to pat. Okay. [laughter] thank you all so much for coming and the talk. Heres a look at some of the book tv will cover this week monday at washington, d. C. East city book shop, journalist David Epstein argues that a person with a general background is more likely to succeed than someone with a specialized skillset. Also that had day were at the nixon president ial library and yorba linda, california, where casey pipes recants post white house years of president nixon tuesday look for us at the st. Louis county library, where john will provide a history of the u. S. Army in the pacific threat or during world war ii. All of these events are open to the public if youre in attendance take a picture. And tag us at booktv on twitter, facebook, or instagram. Booktv recently visited capitol hill and asked republican congressman gary palmer of alabama about his reading list. Well over the last year or so ive read several books, the american spirit but david. Divided by gordonwood got a little bit on a history thing there. A time for guinness if you can keep it by