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Wisconsin native, altar boy, worked for a Construction Company started by his grandfather, a meteoric rise in washington. Vicepresident ial candidate and chairman. House budget committee. Chairman. House ways and means committee. Most jung congressmen would be content handing means or ways and he does both. And paul and i have a history, remember that night two years ago, you, me, mitt, in ohio. Kind of dreamy. Well always have akron, i want to leave it at that. Yeah, akron. You know what clevelands motto is, at least were not akron. [laughter] but beyond all the washington turmoil, paul is a Public Servant who works tirelessly to create opportunities and improve lives, for all americans and thats why the work of the Alfred E Smith Memorial Foundation resonates with him so strongly and i guess this is the right time to tell you, paul, i know you thought you were invited to be the keynote speaker. This is actually an intervention. The cardinal has secured new identities for you and your lovely family. We have a nice place in north dakota where no one in washington can find you, so right after the dinner we are going to whisk you away and you dont have to deal with that anymorement before we do, wed love to hear some words for you. So please welcome senator paul ryan. Thank you, thank you. [applause]. Guest well always have akron. Enough with the mraapplause, you sound like the cabinet when donald trump walks in the room. Might as well get off to it, right . You know what i find amazing about this is i dont think ive seen this many new york liberals, this many wall street ceos in one room since my last visit to the white house. [laughte [laughter]. [applause] first off, i just want to say good evening. Cardinal dolan, your eminence, he and i go back a long way. He was our bishop in milwaukee so we have a great, great past and we in wisconsin like you, adore Cardinal Timothy dolan. We just do. [applause] governor cuomo, blare blast yo, chuck and chris tn couldnt join us because they were voting right now. They will have a budget vote. Should have had it nine minutes ago, knowing the senate, it hasnt happened yet. I want to thank patricia heaton. We go back a long ways. Patricia heaton, she is a hollywood republican. [applaus [applause] a hollywood republican. That is an oxymoron, which clearly was the word that Rex Tillerson was searching for. [laughte [laughter] you know, i just want to say you all look great. Everyone looks great tonight. We feel right at home, because this is exactly what our dinner parties in janesville, wisconsin look like. You know, this is really our favorite time of the year, just love it, october. Weve got deer season, leaves are changing, the beaches are empty or as Chris Christie calls them, perfect. [laughte [laughter] now, i want to promise you though, because of heard a few stories about how the dinner went last year, so this i want to put your minds at ease, you can relax about my remarks. I know last year that donald trump offended some people. I know his comments, according to critics went too far, some said it was unbecoming of a public figure and said that his comments were offensive. Well, thank god hes learned his lesson. [laughter]. [applaus [applause] a lot of people, they ask me, you know, a guy from wisconsin whats it like to work on a daily basis with an abrasive new yorker with a loud mouth. You know, once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer is not that bad. I know why hes been so hard on the president actually, nothing do with ideology. Chuck is mad he lost his top donor. Look, chuck is 66 years old, which makes him part of the democratic leadershipout movement. [laughter] now, hes not even here and i probably need to apologize for at that last joke. At one point i wanted to repeal and replace him in the senate. Think for a second, think what happened since the last dinner. Its been almost a year ago, and on november the 8th, countless shocked americans broke into tears over the election results. But enough about the press. [laughter] the truth is, the press absolutely misunderstands and never records the big accomplishments of the white house, look at the new jobs the president created just among the white house staff. And when you read the papers tomorrow, everyone is going to report this differently. Breitbart leads with ryan slams the president amongst liberal elites. New york times is going to report, ryan defends the president in a state hillary won. And the president will tweet, 300,000 at Al Smith Dinner cheer mention of my name. [applaus [applause] youre probably looking at this, ive seen that guy on tv before. I kind of know who he is, but a lot of you dont know me. Let me just give you some basic background facts. Lets call it my top ten facts and they all must be true because you can find them on the internet. Fact number one like youve heard, im from wisconsin. Wisconsin is a fantastic place to visit in the fall. Looking back, someone probably should have told Hillary Clinton that fact. [laughter] just saying. Speaking of which, actually, i got a copy of her new book. This thing sums up politics perfectly. She took eight months writing ten hours a day, to explain what happened in 512 pages. The president explained it in a tweet iwon. Fact number two, you know, we have primaries in the Republican Party these days. My primary opponent in 2016 was endorsed by sarah palin. Im really not that mad about it because sarah and i have a lot in common, we both lost for vicepresident , we both debated joe biden, and given the current investigations, i, too, can see russia from the house. [applaus [applause] by the way, i do really appreciate these laughs, i usually dont get laughs like this except when im actually debating joe biden. Very much appreciate that. The fact number three, the experts and pollsters say your popularity has gone down because of my relationship with donald trump. Some people disapprove of the way i defend the president , others say i dont defend him enough, fortunately, the media understands all of this and they choose to ask me only questions on policy and issues. Fact number four and john gave you a sneak preview and let the cat out of the bag on this, its true, i once drove the Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile which basically meant that people were constantly laughing at me. It was perfect preparation for being in congress. [laughter] you know what we call the weiner mobile in wisconsin . A chick magnet. [applause] it is. And fact number five, i am a proud member of this church. You know the Catholic Church actually has a lot in common [applaus [applause] this church has a whole lot in common with washington d. C. Either place, it takes about seven years for someone to get confirmed. [laughter] i really wish chuck were here at this moment right now. The only basic difference between a catholic mass and a filibuster is that one ends with a sip of wine, and the other ends with an entire bottle. [laughter] number six, as a practicing catholic, i believe in miracles. In fact, ive actually seen miracles. 2015, i saw joe biden give a two minutes speech. [laughter] in 2012, and there are three witnesses who saw this, i saw mitt romney with a hair out of place. [laughter] i believe in miracles. And then again, i also believed in brian kelly when he became the head coach of notre dame. Oh. Last year, notre dame football, cardinal tim dolan, they had a lot in common. Both made thousands of people stand up and say jesus christ. [laughter]. [applause] go irish you know, fact number seven, when people ask me if i believe everything i see on facebook i answer nyet. Here is interesting fact number eight, the fact that you learn when your speaker, i am now second in line of succession since steve bannon has resigned. Very cool, very close. Fact number nine, every morning i wake up in my office and i scroll twitter to see which tweets ill have to pretend i did not see later on. [laughter] fact number ten, every afternoon former Speaker John Boehner calls me up, not to give advice just to laugh. [laughte [laughter] actually, it was john boehner who was the one who tried to convince me to try to take this job as speaker and in fact, this is a true story, like all the other ones ive told, he even got Cardinal Dolan to call me to encourage me to take this job. God may forgive you, cardinal, but i will not. [applaus [applause] talk about pulling the ultimate catholic guilt card. You may remember this, it got a lot of press at the time, but john retired after the got the pope to take an official visit and address congress. It was a really special moment in congress as catholics, but a special moment for john boehner. We know how emotional he gets and he decided right then and there to hang it up. So, Cardinal Dolan, my friend, i need you to hurry up and become the pope so i can invite you to congress and i can get the hell out of there. So, please, work on that. [applaus [applause] actually, we have some other things in common. In november, a few years ago, Cardinal Dolan himself ran for office, in the 2007 United States conference of catholics bishops, but he lost for vicepresident , so cardinal, join the club, or it was last january, january 20th, Cardinal Dolan gave the b bin benediction at the inaugural. Its from the book that no one in washington is familiar with. Actually, there was just this one kind of awkward moment when the cardinal talked about the infallible almighty supreme being. The president stood up and took a bow. [laughter] both president s, actually. Truth is, no one is infallible. We all make mistakes. We all learn. I personally have learned so much in congress, for example, i learned that tweeting after midnight is a really bad idea. Whether youre President Trump or especially anthony weiner. Ooh or ted cruz for that matter. Oh. You know, at one point, the president actually insulted me. I know that sounds kind of surprising. He described me as a boy scout who is boring to talk to. It didnt hurt my feelings, what hurt my feelings was when my wife agreed with him. Ive got to say, i have really learned so much. Ive learned in catholocism, you are guilty until proven less guilty. I learned that god is always listening, as is vladimir putin. [laughter] i learned how d. C. Works, i play the good cop, Mitch Mcconnell plays the bad cop and bob mueller plays the really bad cop. I learned how to handle ensults. Steve bannon says that i was born in a petry dish at the heritage foundation. [laughter] this is amazing. No one knew steve believed in science. [laughte [laughter] and most important thing ive learned of all, i am learning that becoming speaker of the house is a stepping stone to becoming exspeaker of the house. [laughte [laughter] just because im speaker, you did not have to invite me and im honored that you did. And that is because this is really a magnificent event. People, republicans and democrats, citizens and catholics have watched this dinner for years. We need an event like this now more than ever. Its an opportunities for us to come together in support of a truly righteous mission, to bring hope to the neediest children in the archdiocese of new york. They brought me to the foundling where they hope to rebuilds lives to bring a sense of dignity and hope we have achieve so much and tackle poverty, eye to eye, soul to soul, person to person. As catholics we call this solidarity and subsidiary, were not through the worst Hurricane Season and we need to be thinking about other citizens who live beyond these boroughs. The worst Hurricane Season in recent memory. An inferno blackened homes and hillsides of Northern California dozens of hospital leased after the massacre in las vegas. And in fact, a few weeks ago, i went down to houston, i was on my way to a shelter, and the sun was barely up, the crack of dawn and it was already as humid as can be and you could almost feel the exhaustion in the air, but we get there and ive got to tell you, this shelter was alive. It was full of life and hope and prayer. 38 counties in texas people just out of their homes and there were volunteers from seemingly everywhere. People from the south, people from the midwest, people from the northeast, people were telling me how they just felt they had to be there, that they didnt care how long it took, they would stay and do whatever was needed. They just got up and came. It was truly something. But yet, much has been taken, but not our spirit. Not our nations resilience. Not our faith. When these moments when people are suddenly isolated and separated from everything they know, it is those unspoken bonds between us, it is that common humanity which brings us together and lifts us up. A lot of people are hurting tonight. Please keep them in your prayers. May they find comfort and renewal. Thank you for having me, god bless you and your families, this archdiocese, god bless the United States of america and thank you. [applaus [applause]. [applause] [inaudible conversations] all right, folks, you know its the bottom of the ninth, here i am, right . Were close to to three quarters of a century, this celebrated evening has been one of joy, humility, most of the time, unity, patriotism, friendship, grateful memories and charity. You know what . Those are all virtues and this event is really all about virtue. The virtue of a wonderful politician named Alfred Emanuel smith, service to god, the state, the city, this one nation under god, was legendary. The happy warrior, stopped smiling only for a few moments confronted with rejection and bigotry because of his own ethnic background and deep catholic faith when he ran for president. The virtue of john castle, this evening received the award named after that happy warrior. The virtue of a heaton, our emcee, joy to god and country, thank you, patty. And the virtue of a leader admired for his own patience and determination and sense of duty and his own faith and patriotism, love of family and loyalty to friends and im sure honored to be one of them, is so uplifting, speaker paul ryan. The virtue of the Alfred E Smith board, a board whose devotion makes this Foundation Home so effectively. The virtue were going to leave the last few minutes of remarks from House Speaker paul ryan as the u. S. Senate is about to gavel in. Senators plan t

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