Transcripts For CSPAN QA Jackie Speier 20240714

Brian jackie speier, your book, undaunted, your first three words are, i was dying. Why did you start the book that way . Rep. Speier because i was. It was one of those moments in my life that were defining for me. Not many people have that experience where they are dying and survive. I had a lot to talk about. Brian why were you dying . Rep. Speier i was on an airstrip in the remote jungles of guyana having just concluded a congressional delegation tour with then congressman leo ryan , and we were ambushed on that airstrip and shot. Congressman ryan was shot 45 times and died on that airstrip. There were members of the press that died. One defector of the peoples temple who died. I was shot five times on the right side of my body. A bone jetting out of my arm, a wound in my leg the size of a football. It was, oh my god, i am 28 years old, this is it. Im not going to live to be in my mid80s. I am not going to get married and have kids. Im not going to have any of those dreams fulfilled. Brian november, 1978. Why were you there . Rep. Speier i was then legislative counsel to congressman leo ryan. He had decided he wanted to take a codel down to jonestown, guyana. Brian congressional delegation. Rep. Speier congressional delegation because there were many constituents of his that had loved ones. Young Adult Children who had gotten involved in this church in San Francisco called the peoples temple. They had left San Francisco and taken some 900 of their congregation to this remote country in south america where, in a jungle, they had carved out a community. These constituents wanted to know, one, were they safe . Were they there against their well . They gave us letters they want to make sure got to their children, because they did not think they were able to communicate at all with their children. And congressman ryan became involved in part because no one else was interested. Which was hard to believe. But the local electeds were all indebted to then, jim jones who, as a reverend in San Francisco at the peoples temple, had a couple thousand congregants who could be called upon to assist at a moments notice could be called upon to assist in campaigns. He used his congregation to gain power and respect. Then thescone, who was mayor, made him his chair of his housing authority. Meanwhile, people were starting to defect. People were saying things like sexual abuse goes on, physical abuse goes on. People are maligned. There is Money Laundering going on. Congressman ryan wanted to find out. We contacted the state department. The state department said, after a visit, everything looks great. You really dont need to make a trip down. But congressman ryan was one of those investigative legislators. His whole career, he did not take the opinions of someone else. He wants to see firsthand. So we made the trip down there. Brian if you have never seen jim jones, here is footage of him. We do not have the date on it, but it was a couple years before 1978. And probably at the time was not when they were in guyana. Do you remember he went down there . Rep. Speier he went down there in late 1977. Brian lets watch this. So we can see what he looks like. [video clip] jim these are potato chips made from plantain, and they are more delicious than the combination of a potato chip and a french fry. Radishes. You do not know what you are missing down here. They make their only free green vegetables. We just won first prize from the National Government of guyana. For our leafy green vegetables. You see pepsicola here for three cents, american money. Sounds appetizing, doesnt it . [end of video clip] brian they got an answer because he was obviously in guyana then. Rep. Speier he was in guyana, this is before he went there with the large group. He had sent many followers down there earlier to kind of build the community down there. He was trying to make it very appealing to the members of the peoples temple in San Francisco and los angeles. So he is pitching how great it is down there. And who you saw down there where the people that were building jonestown. They were the people clearing the jungle, the people building the cabins, and the community. Brian describe where guyana is. , please. Rep. Speier guyana is in south america. It was once held by the british and then the danes, i believe. It is in the northeastern part of south america. It became independent, and once it became independent, the country became very much a marxist regime. And at the time, Prime Minister burnham was the leader of the country. Jones was attracted to that country in part because of the embrace of marxism, which is something jones embraced as well. Also because the government was willing to lease him land, or gave him land in the middle of the country where the jungles were deep, and it was an opportunity for them to build their commune. Brian here is some video of congressman ryan. What was his district . Rep. Speier his district was mostly San Mateo County. So it was the suburbs of San Francisco. There were a lot of whites that had children who were from comfortable homes. But it was also at a time when there was this interest in wanting to embrace the opportunity for African Americans and whites to live together. Thats the pitch jim jones made. Here we will create our utopia. And, ironically, once you are there, you saw that it was really less of a utopia and more of a plantation, where the whites were in leadership and the African Americans were not. Brian how much of your districts today, the 14th district of california, is the same that leo ryan had . Rep. Speier it is fundamentally the same. Districts had actually gotten larger in terms of the population. I have part of San Francisco now and virtually all of San Mateo County. Brian did leo ryan die at the moment he was shot . Rep. Speier uh, he was shot and i was running towards him, and then he was shot again. And then he fell. I raced under one of the wheels of the plane. And then they came at pointblank range. And shot they had targeted people they wanted to shoot. They then shot a number of us. Brian here is leo ryan. [video clip] rep. Ryan all of you know im here to find out about your allegations here. I can tell you now the few conversations i have had, with some of the folks this evening, whatever the comments are, there are people here who believe this is the best thing that ever happened to them their whole life. [applause] [end of video clip] brian where were you . Rep. Speier so i was sitting in the back of the pavilion at a picnic table with the bench. Both of us have been sitting back there and interviewing members of the peoples temple who had family members back home. They wanted us to deliver letters or talk to their children or young adults and try and assess whether or not they were being held against their re will. That particular clip that you just showed, the pandemonium that kind of broke out in terms of the fervor of the applause was unnatural. And it was alarming to me. Brian so were you nervous, were you nervous at this time . Rep. Speier i was nervous before we made the trip. In the book, i talk about the fact that i had been in the process of buying my first home. It was a condominium in norther n virginia. I literally made the contract contingent on my surviving the trip to jonestown. I had a sentence added to the contract, because i did not want my parents saddled with a piece of property 3000 miles away. I have oftentimes been asked, well, why did you go . In 1978, very few women that had leadership roles on congressional staff. There was a staff member from the International Relations committee who was making the trip. And i thought, if i did not go, then somehow i would be setting women back in terms of their opportunity to take on bigger positions in congress. Brian what were you thinking about jim jones when you and had you met him before you went to guyana . Rep. Speier no, i had not met him. The weekend before we left i sat , i sat in my office. I was just listening to audio tapes of interviews that had been taken by one of the Staff Members in the district of a number of defectors. Conversation after conversation, interview after interview, it was more alarming each interview. Because there was a pattern there. And it spoke to me as if we were walking into a dangerous situation. Brian jim jones is from my home state of indiana. He was born in crete, as you know, moved to lynn, next to richmond and then moved to california. What can you tell about his upbringing that led him to be involved . I forgot, he lived in indianapolis. What led him to be this kind of minister . Rep. Speier my sense in reading about him in the books that had been written, is that there was a part of him that was a loner. He was, i believe, from a broken home. And he, from an early age, he was a manipulator, actually. Very young, in his early 20s, he became a pastor. Brian here is an interview. Killed. Is was who else was killed . Rep. Speier bob brown was killed. Ob brown . D who was bb speier bob brown was the cameraman. Greg robinson, the photographer from one of the bay area newspapers was killed. One of the defectors was killed. They were all remarkable people. I just met them and over a course of a few days, i had come to really respect them. Brian this was directed by a man named stanley nelson. Back in 2006. [video clip] don last night, someone passed me this note. Does it concern you that this man, for whatever reason jim people say things. They lie. What can i do about liars . People just leave us. Please, leave us. We will bother nobody. Anybody who wants to get out of here can get out of here. I dont know what kind of games some people do, i dont. [end of video clip] brian is that true . He did not like publicity . Rep. Speier no, actually, he lived for publicity. He was an egomaniac. He was, at one point, a charismatic leader, no doubt, but by the time we met him, he was on drugs. He was sweating a great deal. He appeared to not be as clear minded as one would hope. During that interview, everything was unraveling. The tension at the pavilion was intense. And the family, the park family had just come up to me and wanted to leave. The older grandmother and the father and mother and a number of children. It was unraveling before his eyes. Don harris is interviewing him, and had shown him the note he had showed to congressman ryan and myself that night after congressman ryan had addressed the audience there. And i had such a sinking feeling, because once we we received that note, i knew that everything we feared was true. Brian what happened next for you . Where did you stay while you are down there . Rep. Speier i stayed in a cabin with a group of members of the peoples temple, young women. They were very modest cabins. 10 roofs. It was raining that night. All night long, im just listening to the rain on the roof. I know what tomorrow is going to bring. I could not sleep. I just wanted the morning to dawn, so that we could get on with taking those who wanted to leave. At that point, there were only two people that wanted to leave, but i wanted to be able to get safely get out of there. As the day wore on, more and more people want to leave. That became problematic, because we did not have enough planes. So congressman ryan was going to stay behind with another group of about 40 people in the peoples temple that wanted to be taken out. I was going to take the first group out. So we got onto this dump truck with the first group of defectors and the concerned relatives who had been with us and the members of the press. And we are about to leave, and the dump truck got stuck, because of the mud from the rain that had occurred overnight. And because it got stuck, we were still there when there was a knifing attempt on congressman ryan. And there was a huge uproar in the pavilion. And we are in the dump truck, and all of a sudden, out walks congressman ryan. He has blood stains on his shirt. He gets into the cab of the plane, so i did not have an opportunity to talk to him. I was in the bed of the truck. Then we took off for the airstrip. Brian he got into the cab of the truck. Rep. Speier yes. Brian you said plane rep. Speier im sorry, no, he got into the cab of the truck. Brian how far is it from the peoples temple area and the airport . Rep. Speier its hard to judge. I think its about three miles, but it is on jungle roads. If you want to call them that. Its just dirt roads. It takes a while to get there. About 45 minutes. We get to the airstrip. One plane has arrived. The smaller plane. We are waiting for the larger plane to arrive. Congressman ryan does an interview with members of the press about what had happened in the pavilion. And then larry layton, one of the hierarchy in the peoples temple, all of a sudden is saying he is a defector, but he had been one of the most public about his support of the peoples temple, and there was no way i wanted him on the same plane. I said to congressman ryan, i do not want him on the same plane. He said put him on the smaller plane. I asked one of the reporters if he would frisk him. Because he had this big yellow poncho on. He frisked him. Unfortunately, he did not identify that he had a gun. Im loading passengers onto the larger plane at this point. The first plane has been loaded. Unbeknownst to us, a tractortrailer from peoples temple had followed behind us from a distance, had arrived on the airstrip, and as i was trying to coax a small child out of the plane, who had just scampered onto it, the gun shots rang out. I at first did not know what was happening, because my back was to the tractortrailer. They started jumping off the tractortrailer and started shooting. People scattered. I started to run. Congressman ryan was hit. Fell. And then i fled under the plane and hid by one of the wheels. Brian where were you hit . When were you shot . Rep. Speier i was shot towards the end, in terms of my recollection. I was playing dead, i was lying on my side with my head down, so the whole right side of my body was the most visible for the gunmen. And they came at pointblank range and shot us. Brian how close is pointblank for you . Can you remember . Rep. Speier well, my head is down. Brian your head is down. Rep. Speier my head is down. Brian did they shoot you when your head was down . Rep. Speier yes. Brian how long was it while you were there before you got to a hospital . Rep. Speier i was on that airstrip for almost 22 hours without medical attention. Brian you couldnt move. Rep. Speier i was able to get my body up at one point. They shoved me into the cargo hold of the plane, thinking this plane was going to take off, but it had bullet holes through the engine. Brian who is they, by the way, at this point . Rep. Speier survivors who were still there. Some just ran into the bush. Obviously the plane was not going anywhere. I was finally taken out by some local guyanese. They placed me on the side of the airstrip, unfortunately on an anthill. But as i tell people, you dont sweat the small stuff when you are dying. Eventually they moved the most wounded into a tent, where we spent the night. I got through the night out of the goodness of the producer from nbc and one of the reporters who came and brought guyanese rum to the tent from a bar that was in matthews ridge, that was some distance away. I took swigs of this guyanese rum to dull the pain. Brian there are no pictures of you in your book after you have been wounded, but i found one on onam sure you know, google of you and your husband, and you are wearing a sleeveless dress. That right arm of yours is a mess. I dont mean that you know that. What in the world how did you survive all this . Rep. Speier the right arm was actually its not nearly as scarred and damaged as my leg. The irony of all this is that my whole right side of my thigh was blown up, but the seminal artery was not severed. If the femoral artery had been severed, i would have bled to death in 90 seconds. I remember, finally we got to georgetown, guyana where there was a u. S. Medevac plane waiting , and there was this beautiful white, shining plane with the Words United States of america on it. It was like someone had just wrapped me in the American Flag , and i was lifted into that plane. One of the medics, or technicians who was on the plane, said to me later when he had called to talk to me, he said, i asked, would i ever dance again . He looked at me and he said, yes , you will, and i want the first dance. He said i was so close to death. I was minutes away from dying. At two or three times during the flight, they were going to put the plane down. I think once in puerto rico and once in louisiana, because they did not think i was going to make it to andrews. I went through lots of surgeries. It took me years to come to grips with the scars and realizing it was my new reality , and i could move on with my life and not feel like somehow i was incomplete. Brian i want to come back to that in a moment. This, as i remember, it was 5 00 in the afternoon when you were shot. What happened when you were on the ground for the next 22 hours . What happened at the peoples temple . Rep. Speier at the peoples temple, now, this is before cell phones. During the night, we got word that they had done that white knight trial they had tested many times, where he was testing the commitment that his members had to him. The megaphones would blare. They would say, everyone come out of your cabins. We are going to have a white night. We are going to leave this world. We are going to be resurrected. People would all come to the pavilion. He would give them something to drink. It was nothing. This night, everyone came to the pavilion and they had injected the children with cyanide. They had cyanide koolaid. People were told to drink it. Within minutes, they were dead. Brian how many . Rep. Speier over 900. Brian were there really 300 children . Rep. Speier over 300 children. So when people say it was a mass suicide, it was not a mass suicide. They were forced to drink this toxic brew by jones. He had many of his guards surrounding the pavilion, i am sure to make sure people did as they were told. Brian here is some audio, there is no video that i know of, of jim jones talking to this 900 people group as he was leading them to the cyanide. [audio clip] jim no, it will not hurt, if you would be quiet. If you would be quiet. If you would quit telling them they are dying, if you adults would stop some of this nonsense. Adults, i call on you to stop this nonsense. I call on you to quit exciting your children. When all they are doing is this. I call on you to stop this now, if you have any respect at all. What are we . Stop this nonsense. You are exciting your children. [end of audio clip] brian what happened to him . Rep. Speier he was shot in the head, either by a selfinflicted gunshot wound or having someone do it for him. Um, but those voices of those children haunt me. How they could be taken like that. How one man could have such control over people that they lose their independence, their ability to think, their the mind control that was clearly at work there. There are a few people who did flee into the jungle that night. But very few. Brian what happened to larry layton, who is one of the peoples temple members, after you were shot . Rep. Speier so he was placed on the smaller plane. He then had a gun on him, started to shoot some of the defectors on the plane. They were injured. But his gun was wrestled from his hands and was somehow pushed out of the plane. The plane took off. And, you know, im on this airstrip thinking my parents are never going to know what happened to me, because we were in such a desolate place. But what i did not know was within minutes, the pilot that was able to take off in that smaller plane was reporting on his radio what was going on on the ground. Brian who did this shooting in the first place, besides layton, when they came off that truck that came to where the landing was . Rep. Speier i dont know which members of the peoples temple they were, but they did the shooting. They then got back on that tractortrailer and went back to the peoples temple commune there, where i presume most of them died as well. Brian were they all americans . Rep. Speier yes. Brian let me go to this book. Chapter,e are just one practically, in this book. Why did you write this book . What is your goal . Rep. Speier this is the 40th anniversary of jonestown. It seemed like a good time to close this particular chapter. It also was an opportunity for me to talk about all the experiences of my life that have shaped me. I wanted it to be a Survival Guide for people to overcome be able to overcome obstacles that come their way. And also a political guide for women in politics. Because there are a lot of things i learned in the process of my elective career that i thought would be helpful to those who came after me. Brian you give credit in the back for your cowriter. How is she related to the former mayor of San Francisco . Rep. Speier she is actually the daughter of the former mayor of San Francisco. Brian how did you two get together . How did you work out writing the book . Rep. Speier 14 years later, i am pregnant with our second child, and my husband was killed in an Automobile Accident by a young driver who had no brakes and ran a red light. I was pregnant with our second child, and our son was five and a half years old. I have experience what it was like to be a widow. And to have your life pulled out from under you. Before that, i thought guyana was my share of grief. Everyone gets their share of grief in their life. After my husband was killed, after we had two miscarriages, after a failed adoption, i realized, im not necessarily getting our fair share. We are just given what we are given and that is our challenge to move on with our lives. As a result of that experience, another friend subsequently lost her husband. I went to her support. It became paying it forward. So her husband dies of prostate cancer, and we took her to lunch. Over the course of time, we took more people, more widows to lunch and we created this widows club. We meet here many years later and we meet three or four times a year and celebrate life and help each other through what have been really challenging times. Kathleens daughter helped me write the book. Brian there is so much here. It is a short book. What is it, 175 pages long. What part of this book about your life was the hardest for you, beyond guyana . Rep. Speier the sexual abuse by my grandfather when i was young. Brian explain that. Rep. Speier the first time i have ever talked about it publicly. I certainly talked to my mother about it. I have shared it with my husbands and friends. It is the first time i talked about it publicly. As i was writing the book and i was focusing on the issues that have been so foremost in my political career, domestic violence, rape, Sexual Assault in the military, Sexual Assault on college campuses, sexual harassment. I thought to myself, why are these issues so why do i have such a, almost a fixation with them . Why such a passion about them . All of a sudden it clicked. It was the fact that it emanated from that childhood experience where my grandfather sexually abused me. Brian at what age . Rep. Speier you know what happens when you are young, you dont remember how old you actually are. I think i was six, seven years old, maybe eight. I had spent my life putting it behind me. And then i realized when i was writing the book that i really did need to talk about it. We need to take it out from the shadows behind the curtains. Because it happens in families all the time. And children are shamed by it. And it does affect you the rest of your life. In my case, i realized that it affected me in a way i had to overcome it by trying to make sure it did not happen to other people. Brian let me go through some of the details of your life. After the guyana thing, you ran for congress. What year and what happened . Rep. Speier i am hospitalized for two months. I come back on a weekend, a on a friday. You know, there is so much energy and tension from family members and friends. And i am realizing over the weekend, it was the first time i was not feeling pain. I was still in pain, but i was other directed. On that monday, it was the last day that you could take out papers to run for the unexpired term of congressman ryan. So i went to the county courthouse. My whole hand is in a contraption, because my radial nerves had been blown away. And they did not know if i was ever going to be able to use my fingers again. I took out papers to run for his office. Part of it was to carry on his legacy, but part of it was for emotional healing. I wanted to stop being a victim. I wanted to be a survivor. And i saw this as a way of trying to move forward with my life. So a sixweek campaign, that is all i had. It was a joke, in many respects. It was family and friends, gum and bailing wire, and it was kind of laughable when you think about it. I spent 27,000 on the campaign. I raise only 20,000, so i was in debt 7,000 at the end of the campaign. And i lost. Brian how big . Rep. Speier so i came in third among the democrats. It was a special election. Id say but i was probably fourth. The person who won was the chief of staff to congressman ryan in that special and a republican county supervisor. The two of them then had the runoff, and the county supervisor won. His name was royce. He served for only 18 months, and then congressman tom lantos was elected. Brian but you talk in there about a chief of staff who sexually assaulted you. Was it the same guy . Rep. Speier same guy. Brian the guy that beat you. What did he do and when . Rep. Speier so it was when i was on the staff of congressman ryan, and he was the chief of staff, and we had been working late one night. He just came up to me and put me against the wall and kissed me and stuck his tongue down my throat. I just kind of recoiled from it, and just made sure i never was in the room again alone with him. And went on with my life, so to speak. Except when the Metoo Movement came to be, and i thought, you know, this happens to so many women. It happens to so many women in congress. We have got to take advantage of this moment and make sure it does not happen anymore. Brian where is he today . Rep. Speier he has passed away. Brian did you ever speak publicly about it when he was alive . Rep. Speier no, i did not. Brian did you ever confront him when he was alive . Rep. Speier no. I did not. For me, it was this one incident. I told the story when i told it, not so much to draw attention to me as much as i wanted staffers on the hill to know that i had endured Something Like that, and that i could relate to them. Lots of women came to talk to me because of their experiences. Brian after that, you got a law degree at hastings in San Francisco. At what point did you run for office again and what did you win . Rep. Speier the following year i ran for the board of , supervisors of San Mateo County against a 20 year year incumbent. The political pundits said i had no chance. A 20year incumbent connected to the business community. I won that race and became the youngest member ever elected to the board of supervisors of San Mateo County. Brian what year . Rep. Speier 1980. Brian how long were you on that board . Rep. Speier six years. Brian then what . Rep. Speier then i ran for the state assembly. I was not the chosen candidate. Speaker willie brown did not want me elected to state a assembly because he saw me as , being too independent. They made sure no money from the interest in Sacramento Bee contributed to my campaign. They bussed staffers from sacramento down to the district to walk precincts. I was running against somebody who was on city council, mayor of one of the larger cities in the district, whose brotherinlaw was a seated member in the state assembly. I had a 14point lead in march, and by june 1, it was neck and neck. I won that race by little more than 500 votes out of 40,000 votes cast. Brian how long were you in the assembly . Rep. Speier i was in the assembly for 10 years. I was term limited out and then ran for the state senate two years later, got elected, and served there for eight years. Brian you ran for Lieutenant Governor. What happened . Rep. Speier i lost, again. [laughs] rep. Speier i lost in the democratic primary. Ironically to john garamendi, who is now a member of congress as well. I lost by three percentage points. He got elected to Lieutenant Governor and then left in the middle of his term. I guess it was not as satisfying as he hoped it would be. He came and joined me in congress. Brian when did you run for this seat in congress, and when did you win . Rep. Speier i had no intentions of ever coming back to congress. After i lost for Lieutenant Governor, i went to work in a law firm in San Francisco. And then i had my one of my campaign consultants, on his own, because he was so disappointed that i had not won Lieutenant Governors race, he had done all my polling, he did a poll that showed if i were headtohead with congressman tom lantos, that i would beat him. I thought, well, im not going to do that. But i want to know if he was ever going to retire he had been in congress for almost 30 years. We were going to meet and talk, but before that happened, he announced he was not going to run for reelection. I decided to run. He endorsed me. A month later, he died of esophageal cancer. I went from being a candidate to being a member of congress in four months. Brian that was what year . Rep. Speier april 2008. Brian i want you to go back on a personal level again. A lot of personal stories here. You talk about worrying about your body had changed and all that. The first guy that you were dating and the tell us that story. Because it did not end well. Rep. Speier so once i was on the board of supervisors, i started dating a fellow member on the board of supervisors. We announced our engagement. And, you know, it was a pretty heady time. It was quite exciting. There were these big issues about, well, where are they going to live . Because you had to live in a district. Up to that point, it was hard to date, because i really had to make sure they appreciated that my body was scarred. If anybody was going to recoil from touching me, then that was going to be a problem. So we were engaged. We were waiting for the Catholic Church to annul his two previous marriages, because i want to be married in the Catholic Church. And then into our second year, he decided not to run for reelection to the board. We both had events to go to one night. He was going to have dinner with his father. I was going to present a certificate at an event. I go to the event, and lo and behold, his father is at the event. So i come back to the condo and he comes in. I say, how was dinner with your dad . It carried on for a few minutes , and i said, well, its funny your dad was at this event. He then tells me he was with another woman. My whole life started to be shattered all over again. Brian what did you say to him . Rep. Speier i was just stunned. We were engaged to be married. I could not understand it. But, you know, there is a plan for each of us. That was not to be. Brian you name him in the book. Is he still alive . Rep. Speier no, he is not. Brian dr. Sierra. How did you meet him . Rep. Speier he was the chief of staff at the county hospital where i was on the county hospitals board. He was also the chief of the emergency department. One of the d. A. s came to me one day and said, you know, we are not getting convictions on rape cases that we could. I said, was the problem . He said its the chain of custody of the evidence. I said, that should be something we can fix. I called the head of the hospital and said, i would like to schedule a meeting. Lets see what we can figure out. Steve was chief of staff. He was at the meeting. We decide this is something we want to take. There was some training video done in another county that we requested. He calls me one day and says, we have this video. I said, oh, great, maybe i will come over to the hospital and watch it. Because i needed to make a presentation to the board to get the funding for this project. He said, well, what if i bring the video to your house . Because you will be interrupted here. Im thinking, this is kind of crazy. I said, i dont have a vcr. He says, well, i will bring one. He shows up at my condo with a vcr, the tape, and two bottles of wine. I call that the rape tape date. [laughter] rep. Speier that was a remarkable relationship on every level. And, uh so we had lots of ups and downs in our life together, because i have had a number of miscarriages. One at 17 weeks. Then we adopted a baby, and 10 days later, the birth mother wanted to take the baby back. Brian tell more about that. I distinctly remember that from the book. What happened . Rep. Speier we are so thrilled, we have this baby. I am in sacramento. Were in the middle of the final budget debate on the budget. So the budget is finally voted on at 1 00 a. M. In the morning, im holding this little infant in my arms, and brian how did you get that infant in the first place . Rep. Speier oh, it was a situation where a mother came in to the e. D. And wanted to deliver the baby and put it up for adoption. And then we made the request. Brian right there. Rep. Speier yep. So i am holding this little infant in my arms. And i get back to the our place in sacramento, and the babysitter is there. I said, would you try give him his feeding in the morning . I want to get a couple hours of sleep. She wakes me at 6 00 or 7 00 in the morning and says, steve is on the phone. I take the phone, and he says the birth mother wants the baby back. And i am thinking, oh, my god. So the birth mother and the grandmother drive up to sacramento. I give the baby back to his mom and grandmother, and all of the the baby seat and everything else. And then brian how can they do that . Rep. Speier well, because it was six months. You have a sixmonth period of time before you have real custody of an adoptee. So im driving home that day and im sobbing. And im, you know, jackson is in his car seat in the back of the car, i am talking to my husband, i said, why do these bad things keep happening to us . He says, now, wait a minute. Think about this. We have this wonderful son. We are healthy. We can try again. At this point, i am 43 years old. 42, 43 years old. We will try again. So, you know, we go to the fertility specialist, who basically says, based on the age of your eggs and your medical history, you have a 10 chance of getting pregnant with in vitro. It was not nice hearing it that way, but we decided that was the know, that was the plan. We were moving on with our lives. Closing that chapter. Grateful that we had our son. It was a very expensive procedure, and it was not covered by insurance at the time. 10 chance, 10,000 a procedure, it did not make a lot of sense. So i started running for secretary of state of california. Lo and behold, time passes, and im thinking, why is the time of the month coming and going and im not cycling through my menses . So i, you know, go down to walgreens at 11 00 at night, get the pregnancy test that never turned the right color all the times i tried it before. Sure enough, it does. I called steve at the emergency room and said, guess what, i think i am pregnant. He said, what was it, Immaculate Conception . [laughter] rep. Speier he said, come to the hospital, get a blood test. We do. The next morning he says, you are pregnant. Im 43 years old at the time. Chances were next to nil i was going to get pregnant with in vitro, and i got pregnant naturally. Brian what was the child girl or boy . Rep. Speier girl. Brian but you then told us earlier when you were pregnant with the girl, whats her name, stephanie . Rep. Speier stephanie. Brian that steve was killed. Rep. Speier im six weeks about two months pregnant with her. I have been on bed rest for a few days, because i had some spotting. That night, steve and jackson walked into the bedroom. Jackson has this rose behind his back, and he brings it over to me. This is such a sweet moment. The next morning im off to sacramento to give a speech to the california bankers association. It is raining torrentially and im with my district director. A phone rings in the car. My staff is saying, the San Mateo Police have just called. There has been an accident, and steve is at the hospital. So we turn the car around, we are heading back. I call the hospital. Im talking to this surgeon, who is a friend. And i could hear it in his voice. He says, um, you should hurry up. I get to the hospital, and they make me wait in the terminal for a very long time. Finally they let me in to see him in the icu. Hes breathing, he is on a respirator. And he is braindead. The hardest day of my life. I then had to go pick up my son from kindergarten. Bring him back to the hospital. And have him say goodbye to his dad. And then i waited for his brother to fly down from oregon, and then i had to agree to let them pull the plug. And i walked out of the room. Brian your daughter was born how many months later . Rep. Speier about six months later. Brian how long did you stay single . Rep. Speier i was single for eight years. A single mom raising these two children. And, god love my late husband, but he was horrible in finances, so i was financially three months from bankruptcy. And friends came together, my family came together and helped kind of me patch a Financial Solution together. For eight years, i was a single mom. Kissed a lot of frogs during that time. [laughs] brian where did you meet barry dennis . Rep. Speier it was a blind date set up by kathleen alioto. Brian the wife of the former mayor of San Francisco. Rep. Speier who was one of the married widows. And he had no interest in me. She asked him over five times before he said, ok, i will meet with her. I will have a glass of wine with her. Brian what was he doing . Rep. Speier he was and is an investment consultant. To pension funds. And he, you know, he is a fly fisherman, and he is an introvert. So, you know, two bookends i guess, or, you know, two sides of a coin. But he has been an extraordinary man in my life. And adopted both the kids. Brian you say in the book, though, he had problems with stephanie. Rep. Speier yeah, it took her a number of years to get to the point where she wanted him to adopt her. Jackson was happy to have it happen right away. But she was not. She had basically lived six or seven years of her life with me as her only parent. All of a sudden, she was sharing me. So it took her a while. They went through some period of counseling when she was in high school. But we all have those bumps, and just we work through them. Brian what year did you get married . Rep. Speier we got married in 2001. Brian and your two kids today are how old, and what are they doing . Rep. Speier stephanie is now 24, and she is a reporter and anchor at an abc affiliate in colorado springs. Jackson is a Software Engineer at linkedin. Brian after all these years and the damage that was done to your body back in 1978, what kind of shape are you in . Physically, do you have any limitations . Rep. Speier its funny that you should ask that. I have been able to work through most things. I just went through ankle surgery, but it is unrelated to having been shot in guyana. It has more to do with wearing high heels on marble floors for 40 years. But so i have been so lucky. And the book is, you know, an effort to give people hope. From heartache, you can hope from grieving, you can have healing. There is a plan for each of us. We are not always privy to what that plan is. But you just have to have faith that you will be able to survive. And you will. I have been so lucky to have my family and my friends and my faith to hold onto. And it has been all the source of strength i have needed to get through these tough times. Brian as you run for congress in the area you are in, and i know you win big, do you ever have a situation where you do not have an opponent . Rep. Speier i have had a couple of elections when i did not have an opponent, or one where i became the nominee of both the republicans and democrats. That is when i was in the state legislature. You could file at the time as a republican writein, which i did, and became the republican nomination. Brian do you have any desire to run for another office . Rep. Speier no, i do not. Brian your own thinking now, how long do you want to be a congressperson . Rep. Speier i do not know the answer to that question, either. I do think there is a time and place for each of us to serve. And a time when we need to make way for another generation of leaders. Im not sure im there yet. But, you know, i recognize that i have more to contribute. I would like to do that and serve my constituents for a period of time. I do not know how long that is going to be. Brian how long did it take to do this book . Rep. Speier oh, it took about two years. Rep. Speier it took about two years. Brian what was the hardest story in the book to tell . Rep. Speier the sexual abuse by my grandfather. I struggle with whether talk to talk about it or not. Brian did you leave anything out . Rep. Speier ooh, good question. I probably left things out that are better left unsaid that were not really significant parts of my life. It is also a book for, you know i think sometimes people presume that as a member of congress, you have had this really sweet life. Things have always gone well for you. That was not my story at all. Both professionally, with my losses, and personally through not just the physical assault, but through just the dating experience. The struggling as a single mother. But we can all survive and we can all thrive. And i hope that is part of what the message is here. Brian how hard was it to sell this book to a publisher . Rep. Speier well, i did have a literary agent, and she was terrific. So that was great. In the house, unlike the senate, we cannot take an advance. So i guess that makes it easier to sell, too. Brian can you take the the money that is made off of a book like this . Rep. Speier you can take the royalties, if you ever, you know, get to that point. Brian from your experience of this, would you write another book, and if you did, what would you talk about . Rep. Speier if i wrote another book, it would be to young women about how to be savvy. Brian the name of this book is undaunted surviving jonestown, summoning courage, and fighting back. Our guest has been jackie speier, congresswoman from the 14th district of california. Thank you, very much. Rep. Speier thank you, brian. Announcer all q a programs are available on our website, or as a podcast at cspan. Org. [captions Copyright National cable satellite corp. 2019] [captioning performed by the national captioning institute, which is responsible for its caption content and accuracy. Visit ncicap. Org] next sunday on q a, saudi arabia activist talks about her drive, daring to xt sunday at ne 8 00 p. M. Eastern and pacific time on cspan. Cspans three president ial leadership surveys, taken between 2000 and 2017, over cleveland drops from 17 to 23. Where does your favorite resident rank . Learned that and more about the lives and leadership skills of 44 chief executive in cspans the president s. It is great vacation reading, available wherever books are sold, or at cspan. Org the president s. Here is a look at our live coverage today. A. M. , theat 11 00 special Inspector General for reconstruction talks about the latest work on Security Assistance in afghanistan. 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