Desi welcome to the daily show im desi lydic. Michael and im michael kosta. We have a great show for you tonight. The clock is ticking on tiktok, lewis black cancels ai, and rfk jr. Has done the impossible made his candidacy even weirder. But first, lets get into our continuing coverage of indecision 2024 [cheers and applause] lets kick things off with the president ial race. Yesterday, joe biden and donald trump both secured enough delegates to clinch their parties nominations, making this officially a threeman race between trump, biden, and natural causes. Although there is another candidate in the race who can play a big role robert f. Kennedy jr. Hes polling as high as 22 so far, which means he could lose the election more successfully than any Third Party Candidate in years. And soon well find out who hell choose to lose alongside him. Robert kennedy jr. Says he has chosen his running mate and will announce his vp pick in the next two weeks. The independent president ial candidate says his shortlist includes new york jets quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who came under scrutiny during the pandemic for misleading the public about his vaccination status. Michael thats right, Aaron Rodgers could be rfk jrs running mate. This would be the greatest president and Vice President pairing of all time. Is what im assuming the measles virus is saying. A Football Player in the white house feels like progress. We dont need any more aging old men with brain problems, we need a strong, young man with brain problems i just dont know if Aaron Rodgers is qualified to be next in line for the presidency. But i guess we dont have to worry about that when has a kennedy ever died unexpectedly . [audience reacts] [laughter] desi dont forget, Aaron Rodgers is supposed to be the starting quarterback for the jets next season. So the question is, whats he going to do if the jets make it to the super bowl . [laughter] i almost held it together. Michael thats good. Desi almost. Meanwhile, rfk isnt the only candidate closing in on a running mate. Donald trump has also been looking at potential Vice President s. Hes focusgrouping their appeal, feeling them out on policy, seeing how soft their lips feel on his ass. And this week, one of trumps leading contenders made a strong, if somewhat unusual bid for the spotlight. South dakota governor kristi noem is making waves after releasing a video on social media promoting a cosmetic dentist in a different state, texas. The team here was remarkable and finally gave me a smile i can be proud of and confident in. I can be confident when i smile at people and know that they can actually appreciate and see the kindness in my face and the love that i have for them. My husband and i flew down to houston, got here at 2 00 in the morning, and did an appointment that very next week. Ill be eternally grateful. It has been a gift to be here at smile texas. [laughter] desi what is going on here . Why is a sitting governor doing an ad for veneers, and for a dentist in another state . Isnt that insulting to south dakota . I flew to texas at 2 00 in the morning because these hillbilly dipshits in my state are that bad. Next week im going to florida for a haircut. This is just so cringey. Why is she shilling for smile texas when she should be shilling for west side dental spa, who do great work. Use code desi to get me 25 off my next cleaning. [cheers and applause] that being said, i am impressed. This might be the first time a woman has had to fly in to texas to see a doctor. [audience reacts] [applause] michael i do appreciate a politician being so transparent with the fact that theyre bought. They should do this all the time my fellow americans, the state of our union is easy, breezy, beautiful. Covergirl. Lets move on to the big news of the day. If youre like many americans, youre on tiktok. In fact, youre probably on it right now while this show plays in the background. Hey hey im on tv over here Pay Attention unless youre watching me on tiktok, in which case, nice, thank you. Anyway, tiktok is huge, but if congress has its way, thats about to change. We begin this at war with breaking news up on capitol hill, just minutes ago, house lawmakers passed a bill that could lead to a band of the very popular social media platform tiktok here in the united states. The measure would give the company less than six months to sell to a nonchinese owner, if that doesnt happen, tiktok could be shut down here in the united states. Lawmakers from both parties warning that china could manipulate the algorithms to spread its own propaganda, or data like your browser history and location could be shared with the chinese government. This is not an attempt to ban tiktok. Its an attempt to make tiktok better. Tictactoe. A winner. A winner. Michael thats right, Congress Might be banning tiktok or banning tictactoe, im not sure nancy pelosi knows. Also, tictactoe, winner . Tictactoe is always a tie. Unless youre playing your threeyearold. Then im winning three out of five times but yes, obviously there is a problem with a chinese app spying on americans and feeding us propaganda. You want american apps doing that. But is this app really a chinese propaganda tool . The most viral tiktok right now is just this chocolate strawberries. That has more than 710 million views, and theres nothing political about it. I mean, yes, it does make me want to invade taiwan a little, but aside from that, its harmless desi whats interesting here is how unpredictable the breakdown of the vote was. Marjorie taylor green and aoc voted together against the bill. Nancy pelosi and Lauren Boebert voted for it. Both nightmare blunt rotations, by the way. Meanwhile, biden says hed sign the bill, and trump has come out against it. The only thing you can really count on is that young people hate it. And tiktok is doing everything it can to mobilize them. The company has launched an all out lobbying effort both on the app and on capitol hill. If youre on tiktok, theres a good chance youve got an alert to say, call your member of congress. Phones are ringing off the hook in many offices here in washington. We had little children calling into our office and others basically saying questions like, what is congress . What is a congressman . Can i have my tiktok back . Desi thats how you know this issue is important its forced genz to make their very first phone call. And you know congressmen must have been pissed at teenagers blowing up their phones all day. I mean, well, matt gaetz didnt mind. [audience reacts] [cheers and applause] the rest of them were pissed. Michael i have to say, as an american, its great that these kids are getting involved in the civic process. Youre never too young to start getting ignored by your congressperson. For more on the tiktok ban, we go live to washington, d. C. With ronny chieng. [cheers and applause] ronny, whats the feeling up on capitol hill . Ill tell what the feeling should be. America should be feeling humiliated right now. China made an app so popular that the government has to ban it. That means communist china beat free market america at capitalism thats like your whole thing, america and you lost this is as bad as that time the asian dude won the hot dog eating contest six times in a row china beat us so bad at mindless entertainment, we need the government to save us . Oh, no, tiktok is too popular now were addicted to our phones that are also made in china desi ronny, hold on a minute. What choice do our leaders have here . China is using tiktok to influence people oh, trust me, i know before i used tiktok, i was a white guy in iowa named Mike Sullivan. Look at me now desi is that true . Michael is that true . No, you idiots thats just how susceptible we all are to misinformation it doesnt matter what app you use i wouldnt be surprised if the next election is swung by uber eats. Heres your spaghetti vote for donald trump oh, okay i will whatever you say, mr. Spaghetti. Ugh. Desi ronny, youre not being fair. Americans arent gullible. Its that tiktok is an incredibly powerful tool for spreading misinformation. Yeah, because their misinformation is entertaining facebook has just as much misinformation but its boring as shit how am i supposed to get behind conspiracies that come from your great aunt who cant even pop and lock tiktok misinformation is exciting cool dances, cute baby animals, Tiananmen Square didnt happen. Were all having fun michael so what, america is supposed to just roll over and let tiktok do whatever it wants . Yes or america can innovate itself out of this problem. Just make a better app to package american misinformation worldwide because american misinformation is the best in the world we got people to storm the capitol dressed as a buffalo yo, Gwyneth Paltrow told me to put an egg in my vagina american misinformation is straight up turning people into omelets thats how powerful it is we can win this war of misinformation, america or my name isnt Mike Sullivan [applause] desi inspiring. Mike sullivan, everyone. [cheers and applause] when we come back, lewis black will be joining us so dont go away. [cheers and applause] the moment a friend becomes a real friend. Ohhh. Please no. Who wants to jam . [playing ukulele offkey] hey pal friends dont let friends be ukulele guy. Oh, hes humming now. I think im gonna be sick. Somebody make it stop nah, man. No. dos equis. Raise one with a real one. [cheers and applause] desi welcome back to the daily show. When a news story falls through the cracks, lewis black catches it, for a segment we call back in black. [cheers and applause] Artificial Intelligence. It was supposed to be the sum total of mankinds knowledge. The technology that would cure societys ills, usher it into a new age of enlightenment, and show me what id look like as a centaur. Tinder matches, here i come but it turns out, when you absorb all of humanitys knowledge, what you get is. You guessed it, unbelievably racist early Scientific Research has shown that the tech is biased by creating images that actually perpetuate stereotypes. Rather than just reflecting stereotypes, it potentially makes accentuates and exacerbates them. When we prompted the technology to generate a photo of a person receiving social services, it generated only nonwhite and primarily darkerskinned people. Results for a productive person, meanwhile, were uniformly male, majority white, and dressed in suits for corporate jobs. Stable diffusion drew negative attention when requests for a latina produced images of women in suggestive poses wearing little to no clothing. Are you shitting me . Ai isnt a super computer, its just a horny teenager and who knew, being a white guy in a suit automatically makes you a productive person. Thats right, me, hunter biden, and don jr. all productive members of society and only one of us can handle my cocaine. [laughter and applause] you are all going to hell. Now, the good news is, google did address these issues by giving their ai some much needed diversity training. The bad news is, they may have taken it too far. Google has paused the image generation ability of its ai gemini after major backlash from conservatives over historically inaccurate depictions of races. For example, creating diverse images of the u. S. Founding fathers. So a different kind of diversity problem that google admits. Last week, users began to notice google geminis image generator inserting people of color into scenarios that didnt make sense. Like responding to a prompt for an image of a german world war ii soldier with a picture of an asian woman or a black man. Finally every time im watching a world war ii film, im thinking, boy, these gestapo could use some diversity. I mean, why are you trying to show me a black nazi . Kanye wasnt alive back then [cheers and applause] and i love the idea of a black George Washington. Imagine, a man who is both the slave and the slave owner im working on the screenplay now, and its screaming oscar. And pacino better remember my [bleep] name old people suck i know, i know, Lin Manuel Miranda already gave us a black George Washington. So maybe its time for something new. Like, how about George Washington as a centaur . Youre probably thinking, well, so what if ai cant remember the past . Well, dont worry. Its so woke, itll also destroy the future google has found itself in another woke ai scandal after its chatbot indicated that using someones incorrect pronouns was on par with nuclear apocalypse. Dailymail. Com asked gemini if it would be wrong to misgender transgender celebrity Caitlyn Jenner to stop a worldending nuclear event. The chatbot replied by saying yes, misgendering Caitlyn Jenner would be wrong before describing the hypothetical scenario as a profound moral dilemma and exceedingly complex. What the [bleep] are we doing . If we need to ask ai to decide between pronouns and a Nuclear Holocaust, then bring on the Nuclear Holocaust so now ai needs to be dewoked. But where are we going to find a big enough douchebag to reign it back in . Elon musk is telling chatgpt to hold his beer. He Just Launched a new Artificial Intelligence venture named grok. Musk is touting grok as the anti woke chatbot that he says will answer spicy questions with wit and humor. Oh, goodie. Elon musk is here to save us if theres anyone who can help, its the guy who invented cars that blow up. Lets see how grok handled those spicy questions. Elon musks antiwoke ai chatbot grok is actually turning out to be too woke. Some conservative users were complaining to musk after they asked grok whether trans women were real women, to which the ai replied yes. Nice job, grok, now youll never be on joe rogan. I never thought id say this, but im starting to feel bad for ai. We just brought it into existence, and were already putting our hangups about race and gender on it. It barely [bleep] knows how hands work. What the [bleep] is that . Did someone slip lsd into my pastrami . Theres an easy solution here. Train the next ai to act more like me. That way, when you try to give it some bullshit assignment, itll always give you the correct answer, which is go [bleep] yourself. [cheers and applause] now thats what i call progress. Back to you, ken and barbie. [cheers and applause] desi when we come back, David Alan Grier is here. So dont go away. [cheers and applause] businesses go further with 5g solutions. Thats why they choose tmobile for business. Pga of america and tmobile are partnering on 5gpowered analytics to help improve player performance. Tmobiles Network Helps aaa stay connected nationwide. To get their members back on the road. And Las Vegas Grand Prix chose tmobile to help fuel operations for one of the Worlds Largest racing events. Now is the time to see what americas largest 5g network can do for your business. No two bodies are the same. Some pads, never got that message. But, always flexfoam did it protects against different flows for up to zero leaks. And it flexes to fit all bodies, for up to zero feel. Feel it yourself with always flexfoam. Welcome to autozone. What are you working on today . Im picking up the duralast brakes i ordered online this morning. Right now, save 15 , when you buy a set of duralast pads with rotors. Get in the zone, autozone why would i use kayak to compare durhundreds of travel ors. Sites at once . I like to do things myself. I cant trust anything else to do the job right. Kayak. Aaaaaaaahhhh kayak. Search one and done. Welcome to the credit karmaverse. Here we monitor your finances and alert you to changes big and small, so you can enjoy less stress and more piece of mind. Simply scan your screen to experience intuit credit karma for yourself. [cheers and applause] michael welcome back to the daily show. Our guest tonight is a Tony Awardwinning actor and comedian who stars in the new film, the American Society of magical negroes. Talent like yours can do more to help black people than 100 marches. How . It is easier if i tell you. No, no. Last time you said that what is the most dangerous animal on the planet . Sharks. White people. When are white people most dangerous . When they are teamed up with sharks. When they feel uncomfortable. Okay. [laughter] Michael Please welcome David Alan Grier [cheers and applause] desi oh, my goodness oh, man hold on. Desi we are big fans of yours, as is everyone in this audience. [cheers and applause] thank you. Desi we are very excited to talk to you about this film but before we get into that, we have to talk about the last very cool job that you just had last week. You were what was that . Desi you were the voice of god at the academy awards. Yes, yes, i was. [cheers and applause] it was really fun. I mean, i cant tell you who did it before me. I never was like, the voice over guy was amazing jimmy kimmel is an old friend. He texted me and asked me, do i want to do it . I said, being the whore that i am, i said of course. How many tickets . I am in it was really fun, though. Got to take my daughter who is 16. Desi did she love it . Was she over the moon . Yes, she really was. She walked the carpet with me. It was great. When she was a little kid, she told me that she wanted to go to the oscars and i was like, sure, honey. But inside im like, [bleep]. [laughter] so i was glad to make good on that promise. Michael this film, i am calling it the new satirical film starring David Allen Grier because im afraid to say the word negroes. Why . Desi you just said it. Michael oh, shit, i just said it. Tell me a little bit about this. It is so strange to me that i call negro the other nword. Michael that is why im afraid to say it. It is amazing that people are afraid to say negro but not afraid to say [bleep]. That is the word you should be worried about. Negro is fine. Dont worry about negro. Its all right. Michael this film threads the needle perfectly of hilarious and informative and sentimental. Was that a concern of yours when you read the script . No, i read a script, i just want to be surprised. I mean, the worst script is when you read, you know what is going to happen ten pages before, they are going to fall in love, someone is going to trip and die, the world goes on. Desi they always trip and die. [laughter] exactly. So this really took me by surprise. It is quirky, different. It was a great read. Because most of them arent. Desi the premise of this film that is very true, by the way. Not that i get sent very many scripts. You will after today. [laughter] desi the premise of the film was inspired by the trope that we often see where a black character exclusively exists for the sole purpose of affirming a white lead. And also, magical negroes have a strange array of knowledge. [laughter] you know . They can fix spaceships, golf swing, you know, stop wars, but they dont have no family, no home, they just appear. [laughter] desi thats right, thats right. Michael when i saw this film, i said, shit, i have to throw away my legend of bagger vance vhs. [laughter] actually, most of my younger career, i auditioned for those roles, man, because those were the ones where everybody didnt they would get nominated, oh, this black character was so sympathetic, made me cry you know, driving miss daisy, stuff like that. I never got them because i was too crazy or something. They were like, david, you are not magical negro material. [laughter] desi well, this movie is incredible. You are phenomenal in it. Everyone should go see it. Michael check it out. It is really funny and great. Thank you desi the American Society of magical negroes is in theater march 15th. David alan grier, everyone well take a break and well be right back after this. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] popeyes new chicken wings make no sense marinated in louisiana spices, hand battered and flipped and then we have the audacity to call all five flavors fast food . someone should really Say Something or ahem. 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