Michael welcome to the daily show im michael kosta. Ronny and im ronny chieng. Thats right. Tonight, youre getting two hosts for the price of one. [cheers and applause] michael wait, are they cutting our paychecks in half . Ronny no, theyre just not paying you. So lets get right into the headlines [cheers and applause] michael lets kick things off with some sad news that might tug at your heartstrings. President donald trump might be going to jail. [cheers and applause] we all react to grief differently. But yes. Prosecutors in one of trumps 400 court cases might have found a surprise witness, one of his own lawyers. Some breaking news right now. Donald trumps former lawyer just pleaded guilty. Sidney powell is who we are talking about, and now entering into a plea deal agreement in the Georgia Election subversion case. This is the deal that comes just one day before her trial was due to start. And as part of this plea deal, she has agreed to testify in any future trials, which raises the possibility that she could testify against trump in the future, which obviously is a huge deal. Michael thats right. Sidney powell might be flipping on the don. If you dont remember sidney powell, she was trumps craziest lawyer, which is amazing, considering that trumps other lawyers included this guy and this guy. Being trumps craziest lawyer is like being the most divorced dad at an embassy suites. Embassy suites, not an embassy, and definitely not sweet. Now, under this plea deal, powell will avoid prison time, but she will have to pay a 9,000 fine and write an apology letter to the citizens of georgia. Ronny i mean, just a letter. This woman actively tried to steal an election. The least she could do is apologize door to door like a sex offender. Michael hi, i am sidney powell. Good point, ronny. At the very least, she should write a letter to mike pence for art getting him hanged. Obviously, he will not read it because he considers receiving a letter from a woman to be a form of sex. Ronny kosta, i got to say, sidney powell, sounds like a pretty great lawyer, to be honest. She got trees and down to apology letter. Like, that is an amazing negotiation. Issue still practicing . I might want to hire her. Michael why, do you have legal problems . Ronny nothing major. Just some minor drug trafficking. Michael drug targeting . Like fentanyl . Ronny anything you want. I can hook you up. Lets move on to some breaking news on the world of ai. Every day, people are using ai for groundbreaking things, like cheating on your homework or drawing the mona lisa withdrawing boobs. Now researchers are using it to unlock ancient human mysteries. Artificial intelligence or ai is allowing researchers at the university of kentucky to read an ancient scroll burned by mount vesuvius. Now, the scrolls are too fragile to unfurl, but u. K. s dr. Brent seals and his team of researchers have developed technology to try and read whats on the scrolls without opening them. One word thats already been deciphered is purple, but a more recent discovery has given scientists more to translate. Ronny wow. Purple. I mean, i was hoping for ancient wisdom or how to summon a demon, but yeah. Mixing red and blue is cool too, i guess. Although, if we can. This role ourselves, how do we know if the ai is right . Were just going to trust it . Because chatgpt told me three days ago that gandhi invented the cinnamon challenge. It is a waste of time because i know what its going to be on the scroll. It will be someone writing hey, sure hope that volcano doesnt tell everyone in town. Purple. Michael yeah, i mean, do we want to know what ancient people have to say . We always think it is going to be something profound but it is always just human. It is going to be something racist, dont you think . Think about how racist your grandpa was, 60 years old, you imagined he was 2,000 years older . Ronny i dont want to read someones 2000yearold suites. I agree. What are we looking for in there . What kind of wisdom . How smart can these people be . They put their most Important Documents next to a volcano. Michael that is true. And they say it is too delicate to unravel. How do you know . Have you try to unravel it . Ronny good point. Just pick the least important looking one and open it. Michael open the scroll. Ronny open the scroll. [chanting open the scroll] michael lets move on. Open lets move on to americas new lets move on to americas new National Pastime book banning. States around the country are trying to ban any books that expand their children to diversity. But now one prominent Childrens Book publisher is standing up and saying, hey, we can help you with that. Changes are coming to School Book Fairs after several states passed laws limiting discussions of race and gender in schools. Scholastic announced its fairs will now have a separate section for books covering race, gender and sexuality. The new diverse books category includes 64 titles, such as biographies of malala and lebron james, as well as books about samesex families. Schools can opt to exclude all these books from their sales. Michael hold on. Hold on. So now bigots can just check a box and now all of the books will be removed . Come on, guys. If you are going to be racist and sexist, you cant also be lazy. You know . You got to put the work in. You go through the books and find all the race and gender stuff yourself. Who knows, maybe if you actually take the time to read these books you think are so terrible, actually absorb them, you just might find out that all kids books are terrible. You know . I love you, ronny, man. Ronny yeah. For more on this story, lets go alive to an Elementary School not far from here, to our expert, troy iwata [cheers and applause] troy, troy, it is a real scandal. Keeping kids from reading these plastic books. No. I think they should be kept from kids. Have you actually read some of these books . They get really graphic. I mean, james crawls right up inside that peach, like, right up in there. Michael troy, come on. Even if some of these books are a little mature, kids should be able to buy them if they are curious. No. The last thing you need is a bunch of bicurious kids. That is no way to treat our children. Well, your children. I dont have them. Kids are disgusting. Ronny we all think kids are disgusting. You are not special. We really believe that these are going to warp kids mines . Actually, if i could get personal for a second, ive been in living example of how damaging these books can be. When i was in school, i read a japanese manga book, and look at me now. I am halfjapanese. Ronny wait, the book turned you halfjapanese . Michael why only half . Well, i didnt finish it. [applause] [cheers and applause] but as you can see, the damage was done. Thats how influential books are. Ronny okay, so i guess the solution is to separate the books. No, actually, separating them as a disaster. Have you ever told a child they cant have something . It becomes the only thing they want. These kids stormed the forbidden section like it was a nickelodeon version of january 6th. They beat cocomelon with a flagpole. There was even poop on nancys desk, but thats because a first grader had an accident. H they must have read that book everyone poops. Ronny i am still reading that, so no spoilers. If banning books doesnt work, hang how can schools protect kids . I think the only answer is a compromise. Stop banning books, but also, stop teaching kids how to read ronny okay. That works for me. Troy iwata, everybody. [cheers and applause] michael when we come back, well find out why President Biden talks the way he does. So dont go away. [cheers and applause] [swords clanging] [yipping] [rumbling] [rumbling] [explosions] [whooshing] [crashing] nautilus by Anna Meredith [swords clanging] [yipping] [music builds and fades] [distant crashing nears] [swords clanging] [music resumes] still living with odors . Get back in there and freshen instantly with febreze air mist. Febrezes fine mist floats longer in the air to fight even your toughest odors. So long stinky smells and hello amazing freshness. Febreze air mist. If youre taking an antidepressant but youre still masking your depression you could be experiencing a partial response to your antidepressant. Partial response happens when your antidepressant alone isnt enough. Lets try adding rexulti®. When added to an antidepressant, rexulti® was proven to reduce depression symptoms 62 more than the antidepressant alone. So you can build on your progress. Rexulti® can cause serious side effects. Elderly dementia patients have increased risk of death or stroke. Antidepressants may increase suicidal thoughts and actions and worsen depression in children and young adults. Report fever, stiff muscles, and confusion, which can be lifethreatening, or uncontrolled muscle movements, which may be permanent. Increased cholesterol; weight gain; high blood sugar; low white blood cells; unusual urges; dizziness on standing; falls; seizures; trouble swallowing, or sleepiness may occur. When depression sets you back, keep moving forward. Ask your doctor about adding rexulti® to your antidepressant. All that chocolate and caramel. And a ghoulish green cookie itsits more than more. Its more. groan errr yes its moreer all right [zombie arm pulls off] that costume is moreer whoa. Theres moreerrr to a twix [cheers and applause] ronny welcome back to the daily show President Biden addressed the nation tonight on the war in the middle east. Luckily, he has a special skill when it comes to speaking and we found the guy who taught it to him. Testing levels . Let me know if you can hear t this. I am joe biden. Soul of america. Scranton. Works for me. I am joe biden sr. Whispering advisor. I dont in any way dismiss what senator murphy says about the environment. I wrote the bill on the environment. Before the president gives any speech, it is my job to comb through it and find the most jarring moments for him to whisper. What do you about this . [whispering] 1. 9 trillion. That is the spot right there. [whispering] 1. 9 trillion. This week for child care. He is my idol, old teddy roosevelt. We all know what he said . Speak softly. And carry a big stick . What is that . And carry a big stick . I am not familiar. You may wonder, why whisper . I will tell you why. [whispering] sorry, what did you say . Exactly. See . Now you are interested. As a whisper advisor, you are looking for more inspiration, pointing or craft. Lately, ive been experiment it was something i like to call reverse whispering. Think about it. Think about what you think about at the time some people question my methods. They will claim there is no good reason for a president to suddenly whisper in the middle of a speech. A lot of attention today, whispers from President Biden lighting up social media with the hashtag creepyjoe started gaining traction really quickly. I dont understand why he keeps doing the creepy whisper thing. What is what the creepy whispering all the time . President biden nails a whisper, so unexpected, so borderline confusion, you wonder if you are whispering. Guess what. [whispering] it grows the economy. [cheers and applause] michael huh . [cheers and applause] when we come back, wilderness survivals jordan jonas will be joining me on the show. [cheers and applause] pers time to win is running out in our prize packed kick off the savings Monopoly Game hurry in to play for your chance at over 25 million in prizes and money saving offers like this, and this, or even this. Plus, you still have a shot at up to 100,000 in guaranteed prize money. Stop in while you can still win and shop your Favorite Brands sporting the kick off the savings monopoly tag for unlimited bonus game tickets at lucky just between us, you know whats better than mopping . Anything ugh. Well, i switched to swiffer wetjet, and its awesome. Its an allinone, that absorbs dirt and grime deep inside. And it helps prevent streaks and haze. Wetjet is so worth it. Love it, or your money back. [cheers and applause] michael welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a wilderness guide and selfreliance expert who won season 6 of the History Channel show alone. Please welcome jordan jonas [cheers and applause] all right [laughter] michael so, thanks for coming to new york city. Yeah, what an honor. Thanks for the invite. Now i am in your world. Michael yeah, you are in my world now. [laughter] we were trying to get a hold of you. You live in montana. The booking department was freaking out. You got to make a flight, you werent responding to anything and then they told me you sent this text yesterday. I literally just galloped on a horse for the last 10 miles in the wilderness so i would be able to catch my flight in the morning. Hahaha. This isnt an act. You are a wilderness guy. I was in the woods. It was a fast horse, fortunately. Made it out. [laughter] michael you won season 6 of History Channels alone. You spent 77 days alone in the arctic. You killed a moose with a bow and arrow. Then a wolverine was trying to steal your moose meat so you killed that with a hatchet. Dogeatdog world. [laughter] michael you figured out a way to fish in the frozen tundra, which helped you win. Tell me about winning alone. Oh, man. I never pictured that as being a career opportunity. [laughter] no, it was an incredible experience, man. Nothing like the pressure of getting dropped off in a helicopter, and you dont get another meal until you catch it. But you also get the pure joy that is almost hard to replicate. Every time you catch a fish or a rabbit or whatever it is, it is pure joy. And like that all the way up until the end, which, yeah. Michael i mean, i think, sometimes, we get so jaded watching reality tv. And this is you are alone. No one is giving you granola bars and saying, heres a salmon filet, it is really a survival show. I wish. It is. It is cool. It feels so similar to what all of our ancestors used to go through, you know . Michael tell me about where some of this skill set came from. Because this story fascinates me and it seems to really have affected your view on the world and affected who you are. Yeah. When i was in my early 20s, i went over to russia and spent a bunch of time living with nomadic reindeer herders. Michael sure. The kind of thing you do. [laughter] yeah, you do that in your 20s. [laughter] as you do. No, but it was a fascinating experience. I didnt even know people still lived like that until i was basically dropped off at the teepee. They are nomadic, living in the wilderness year around, following the herds through the woods. I learned a ton from them and they all, of course, became good friends and i spent a lot of years living with them. Michael you know, i should be honest with our audience. Jordan and i have met before and i took one of your wilderness expeditions. My wife and i started to watch alone during covid as a lot of people did, and we were just blown away at the show. And also you, because you had all of this amazing skill set. You could feed yourself, you could survive, but there also seemed to be a connection and humility with nature that was really beautiful. And now i know that is all bullshit. [laughter] tv is amazing. Michael so my wife buys me for my birthday this wilderness survival expedition with jordan. Honestly, after covid, i think she was just trying to kill me. [laughter] this is me on the right. I cant even explain to you everything about this. But i flew to missoula, montana, i drove four and a half hours, then i got on a horse a horseback for 8 hours with you and nine other people whose partners were trying to kill them. [laughter] we were at 13,000 feet, maybe in the Bitterroot Mountains 10,000 feet. Michael let me exaggerate a little bit. [laughter] and you really taught us some things in a really gentle, kind way. There is a picture of you teaching us how to trap some small animals. What is this trapping device . Talk to these big city folk about this. You guys all know about this. It is basically a mouse or a rat trap. That is one of the if you dont trap the mice that are harassing you at night, youll have a miserable survival experience. Michael i thought that would be particularly helpful for so many new yorkers. That is an excellent trap to learn. Michael tell me about lets say, hunting, people can have a reaction to hunting. Big game hunting. It is easy for me to see pictures online and see this, i dont like this, you are killing an animal. I also feel like you care a lot about nature and conservation. How can those two be connected . Yeah, that is actually a really fascinating question. I think we are, no matter what we think, we are a part of nature. In my experience, people who hunt, who rely on nature to feed themselves or families, there is almost there is few people who are more in tune with the health of a particular ecosystem because you rely on it. So though you do take individual animals at times, according to all of the laws and all that, you are also really wishing the best for the species and working to provide that, via conservation, when you are hunting, you are paying money into the system, put that money back into the science and the habitat protection that protects animals. So interestingly enough, the good news is, we have done a great job of conservation and brought whitetail and elk and all of these animals from the brink of extinction to thriving numbers, through ethical hunting, you know . Michael i bought your ax. Ooh got any potted plants . Michael people on the subway were looking at me weird. [laughter] tell me about this style. You use a similar ax on alone. Tell me some of the characteristics of this. To me, an ax is for chopping wood you buy at the gas station. You actually use this as a survival tactic. I am a real connoisseur of a good ax. Michael has anyone at the daily show ever had an ax out here before . Absolutely not. So the features, we kind of combined everything i want in an ax into one. The right to length, the right weight and size. A single bevel edge. Which, if you would like to pull that out. Michael watch, i will do this and cut myself. Careful. Sharp. Michael i will let you do it. [laughter] so there you go. It is sharpened from one side, you are lefthanded. So if i was lefthanded, its got that flat edge, i can carve and whittle really well, chop trees down. Michael its very cool. Yeah. Michael i feel like a poser that i have it. But [laughter] like i said, i dont see any plants you must have been putting into work. Michael is there a survival skill that you could recommend to everybody to learn, or is there a hack for connecting to nature if you live in a highrise on the Upper West Side of new york, or brooklyn, or you dont have a car, you cant get upstate . You guys in montana take all this shit for granted. Literally, i have one tree on my street. And the way people drive, i am sure it is going to come down someday. I got to say, i feel like there is a lot of value in setting aside a period of time, even if it is just yearly, to go out in the woods and spend enough time to where you really, your phone is off, and you really do have time to think your thoughts and to talk with people that youre around. I think even doing that occasionally will recharge you enough to get back into the chaos of the modern world and feel a little better, with a more level head and priorities in line. Michael jordan jonas, thank you for being here. I really appreciate you making it the whole way. It was an honor talking to you. Thank you very much. Jordan jonas [cheers and applause] for more information about jordans wilderness expeditions, check out jordanjonas. Com. We will take a quick break. Well be right back after this. 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Have you tried downy rinse and refresh it doesnt just cover up odors, it helps remove them 3x better than detergent alone. Yeaahh guess the odor went bye bye. No, thats not us. Sorry. Rinse odor away with downy rinse and refresh. light acoustic music plays eagle screeches energetic music plays there he is its right there oh, hes straight ahead. Hes straight ahead. Straight ahead. Go go go. Cover more ground in the kia sportage turbohybrid. Kia. Movement that inspires. [cheers and applause] michael thats our show for tonight. Thats my time for the week. Thank you, daily show, thank you, Comedy Central. I love working here. Tune in next week, when your guest host will be desus nice now, here it is. Your moment of zen. In arizona, a hot debate over changes to make over the schools dress code less strict. So they would allow tank tops and students to show their midriffs. While some parents were on board, others spoke out. Under the proposed policy, this would be appropriate in a classroom. Stripping down to a cropped top with spaghetti straps and very short shorts. But despite his demonstration, the board not skirting the issue. In a 32 vote, they approved the captioning made possible by Comedy Central im going down to south park gonna have myself a time Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind