From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with early voting. Its for maverick voters whove already decided who they want as president , which si is insane theres still two weeks, people. What if trump becomes president ial . I still think he has a shot. As you know, election day is just two weeks from today, but with early voting in most to have the country, election day is really the last possible day to vote. Leaked is hallow queen ween and early voting is cvs. You can get the candy at anytime without trick or treating might anybody. The point is early voting is already underway and so far more popular than q anon at your aunts house. We are just two weeks away from the election, and nearly 30 million americans have already voted. More than five times in number, at this point, four years ago. Long lines and long waits seen in the key battleground state of florida. Some of those lines started at dawn. 94yearold Mildred Madison born when coolidge was president had her son drive her more than 600 600 miles from illinois to michigan so she could vote after she never got her absentee ballot. Women got the last, especially black women, were the last ones that got the power to vote. Its wonderful to see a black woman running for vice president. Trevor wow 94 years old, and she drove 600 miles to vote that is so impressive imagine driving 600 miles. I bet the poll workers were so moved by that story, before they turned her away for not having the right i. D. For real, there should be a special prize for anyone who travels that far to vote. Forget the sticker. I want platinum i voted rims. I will be honest, i get why mrs. Madison is take it it so seriously. Black women cannot mess around with their votes. Statistically they bear the brunt of policy failure, whether housing, education, healthcare, anything, so they make sure to vote. I tell you, if this entire country was only 94yearold black women, voter turnout would be 100 . No one would know who chalamet is, but its a mixed blessing. Early voting records are being crushed around the country and honestly i get it. This is 2020, youve got to vote now because theres no guarantee well even have a november. As it stands now, biden goes into the final weeks with a large lead, but 2016 taught us that large leads dont mean shit. Plus theres still a debate this thursday and who knows what could happen . Trump could announce hes pregnant and you wouldnt fire an expectant parent would you . You wouldnt put me out like that, america, me and my baby. The Debate Commission announced they will mute the microphone of the person who shouldnt be speaking to give the person the chance to talk. Which is a good idea as long as Jeffrey Toobin isnt in charge of the mute button. Sorry i left it on the whole time. So sorry. Trump doesnt care if you mute his microphone. Hes just going to shout or walk over to biden and use his mic. Hell probably lick it just to mark his territory. Thats mine. But clearly trump needs to enjoy his open mic while time while he can and thats why hes holding large rallies every day to spread his message and or coronavirus, which, by the way, is soaring across the country. Corona hospitalizations are now rising in 39 states. Even though america isnt over the coronavirus, trump has decided that america is totally over the coronavirus. As the country faces a third droves wave, President Trump on the campaign trail saying voters are tired of hearing about the pandemic. People are pandemickedout. You know that . Theyre pandemickedout. Theyre getting tired of the pandemic, arent they . You turn on cp and, thats allle they cover covid, covid, pandemic, pandemic, covid, covi . Theyre trying to talk everybody out to voting. People arent buying it, cnn, you dumb bastards. cheers and applause trevor yeah, cnn, you dumb bastards arwhy are you reporting on the story thats dominating on everyones lives . Why not focus on important stories like what child stars look like now do you know the little boy from e. T. Looks like himself but much older . Why isnt that on the news you dumb bastards . To be fair, trump is not wrong about people being tired of dealing with this pandemic, but what he doesnt seem to realize is unlike the rest of us, he can actually do something about this. Instead hes acting like hes as helpless as everyone else. Guys, am i the only one here whos totally sick of coronavirus . Why didnt someone come up with a plan . Now, per swaged people that coronavirus is over isnt the worlds easiest sell. We can see the world around us. But trump thinks hes figured out the problem. Its not a quarter million americans have died, its that too many people are listening to that bastard anthony fauci. With polls showing a majority of americans unhappy with his handling of the virus, President Trump now laser focused on a new target, the nations leading Infectious Disease expert. I dont want to hi hurt him. Hes been there about 350 years. The president began his day of attacks on fauci on a call with campaign staffers. People are tiring of hearing fauci and all these idiots. Fauci is a disaster. If i listened to him, wed have 500,000 deaths. The president later on the trail in arizona, tying fauci to biden. And you know biden want to lock it down, he wants to listen to dr. Fauci. He wants to listen to dr. Fauci. And he is a wonderful guy, i like him. He just happens to have aer vey bad arm. applause he has a bad arm. Trevor you know what guys . I cant argue with trumps logic on this one. You just cant trust a scientist who cant throw a fast ball. I mean, like, why didnt he practice . What else is he doing with his day . Honestly, its kind of weird for trump of all people to make fun of someones bad arm. Lift a glass of water using one hand and then well talk. Seriously, the scientists you want are the ones too busy in the lab to learn any sports. Thats why if i was hiring a scientist the first test would be to throw a ball at them and if they catch it theyre fired. Unlike the country hes supposed to be running, trump is having a blast. Hes got his job, health and gets to throw parties with his friends. Hes even been breaking out dance moves or whatever this was supposed to be. ymca trevor whatever tiny percentage of the black vote he had he has now officially lost. This is all of the classic bad dance moves backtoback. Fake drive the truck, into the whacamole, two claps off beat, then home with three jeffery toobins. You know what . Maybe all the big rallies and weird dancing are just hiding a deep insecurity, because even trump must realize, on some level, that his closing message of corona is boring and dr. Fauci sucks may not get him over the finish line, which would explain why he seems to be making contingency plans just in case. Mr. Trump tonight suggesting at a rally he might leave the country, if he loses the election november 3. The president , while in georgia, saying he wouldnt feel good if he loses and perhaps would leave the united states. Can you imagine if i lose my whole life, what am i going to do . Im going to say i lost to the worst candidate in the history of politics. Im not going to feel so good. Maybe ill have to leave the country. I dont know. Trevor ah, classic snowflake threatening to leave the country if things dont go his way. But where would trump go . He cant go to europe haws he owes hem a ton of money. He cant go to africa because he called it a shithole. He cant even go to mexico because some ass local built a giant wall. Theresent a wall, i just want to say that. I know he meant it as a threat, but can you imagine an america thats 100 trump free . Just the thought is enough to make me want to dance. All right, we have to take a quick break. But when we come back, Matthew Mcconaughey is our guest, and we learn why nigerians also want to defund the police. So dont go away. Its time to step up. Prep up. Step up. Prep up. To help keep you free from the risk of hiv. From the makers of truvada, theres another prep option descovy for prep. A oncedaily prescription medicine that helps lower the chances of getting hiv through sex. Its not for everyone. Descovy for prep has not been studied in people assigned female at birth. Talk to your doctor to find out if its right for you. Step up. For health and body. Prep up for your one and only love or many loves. For kings, this queen, and you royals in between. For my now. Our now. And my future. 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Words are loud but actions are louder. Step up. Prep up. With descovy for prep. Get help paying for descovy for prep. Learn more at stepupprepup. Com they endorse yes on 25 to end money bail. Governor gavin newsom. Congresswoman karen bass. The western center on law and poverty. The Dolores Huerta foundation. Californians for safety and justice. And the California Democratic party. Yes on 25. Accused of rape. Accused of stealing 5. The stanford rapist could afford bail. Got out the same day. The Senior Citizen could not. Forced to wait in jail nearly a year. Vote yes on prop 25 to end money bail. Todays the day to get to your toyota dealer. Toyota. Lets go places i love bedtime. The thin, sweet bite to end the night. Oreo thins. Patience is not a virtue, it is a weapon. Whats your wild rabbit . Show. Lets talk about nigeria. If africa was a country, then nigeria would be texas. Everything is bigger, theres a ton of oil, and the people love telling you that they come from there. Well, i dont know if you know this, but im originally from texas. Have i ever told you that i am from nigeria . The lone star state, woohoo nigeria is the best country in the world. And most importancy praise jesus. Prase jesus. I was going to say the same thing. Praise the lord right now the west african power house of 200 people is dealing with protests that might seem familiar to People Living in the u. S. Nigerians have taken to the street for a second week of nationwide protests against Police Brutality. Protests started after a video circulated last week that reportedly showed members of the special antirobbery squad fate rishooting a man and then driving off in his car. This protest is largely driven by young people. They say they bear the brunt of the brutality of this Specialty Police unit. The hashtag end sars trended worldwide for days with celebsties across the world of sport and entertainment getting in on the act. Celebrities like kanye west jointed in the recent protest calling to an end to sars. Stop killing our boyfriends and children. It stops today not tomorrow, it stops now trevor thats right, people, nigerians in nigeria and all over the world have taken to the street to call to an end to Police Brutality in their country. The fact these people are on the same page makes this more incredible. The only time nigerians are united is when their team is playing in the world cup or when theyre shitting on a neighbors food. The other day i was eating sand from the desert and i realized it wasnt sand, it was from gan ghana dried theirs dont taste as good as ours. Since this is a global movement, there arent many people who might say what is sars and why do we need to hashtag end it . Lets find out why in another installment of if you dont know, now you know. As nigerians struggled with high crime rates in the 90s, the government decided the best solution would be to create a special police unit who could do whatever they wanted to stop crime. But as you might expect, things didnt go as planned. Its a unit that was set up in the 90s, the initial purpose of it was to deal with armed robberies, cattle rustling, and other violent thefts. Many nigerians essentially see sars as a replica of the criminal groups that were set up to address. Trevor okay, im not going to lie. Thats a plot twist i did not see coming. The good guys who were supposed to stop the bad guys eventually became worse than the bad guys . I mean, i suppose that is one way to end crime. You just take over the crime for yourself. That would be like if you got a dog to protect your house but then woke up in the middle of the night and the dog has a gun pointed at your face like be a good boy and nobody gets hurt, grrrrr i know what some of you might be saying, if these nigerians would just obey the law, they wouldnt have to worry about the sars police. Unfortunately, obeying the law doesnt help when just existing is considered a crime. There has been a policing culture that targets young Nigerian Youth that perhaps are seen in flashy cars and these are seen as internet fraudsters. You are profiled if you have dreads, if you have tattoos, if youre wearing tight clothes, if you have an iphone. Trevor yes. Sars would arrest people for simply dressing well or having an iphone. And to have the police arresting people for their Clothing Choices must be so confusing because, on the one hand, it is horrible to be harassed by the police for how you look. On the other hand, it was a kind of a compliment. And if they dont arrest you, it would be, like, whats wrong with my outfit . You guys didnt pull me over. But the most surprising aspect is people are profiled as criminals just for having an iphone, which is insane. Criminals dont you iphones. They use flip phones. Everybody knows this. If you need a phone that you might have to toss down a sewer when the cops are after you, you dont spring for 5g. But this isnt unique in the u. S. Whether American Police targeted black americans or Nigerian Police targeting other nigerians, police know they can abuse their power without ramifications because the people who they harass dont have the power to respond. But after years of Police Brutality, nigerians have responded. Theyve taken to the streets over the past few weeks to say enough is enough. Unfortunately, the Police Response to these peaceful protests has been all too familiar. We are seeing acts of Police Brutality on protesters, demonstrating peacefully. Protesters dispersed by officers with water canons, tear gas. A lot of ammunition was used to Disperse Protesters against Police Brutality. There must be law and order. Trevor you know, its amazing how around the world law and order seems to be code for lets beat the shit out of these protesters, because like weve seen in the u. S. , the police in nigeria responded to Police Brutality with more Police Brutality. And this is the kind of behavior you only see with police. No other industry has this. Imagine complaining to your waiter that theres something wrong with your feet and he spits in it in front of you. Ill eat it because who wastes benihana, but im not holding back in my yelp review, three stars max. The good news is the protest work and the pressure paid off. The Nigerian Government announced they would cancel the sars unit with immediate effect. The bad news is they already have a spinoff in the works. The nigerian Inspector General and the entire world have heard those chants of end sars, and now the country is dissolving its controversial special antirobbery squad known as sars. A rebranded police unit called special tactics or swat and includes members to have the disbanded group. The campaign is calling the decision to abolish sars a holovictory and they say they will continue protesting. Theyre out in the streets this morning. They say these are just words and theyre demanding action. This is, after all, the fourth time this very same unit has been disbanded, and nothing has changed. We do not want to say they were band. Trevor hold on, hold on, hold on. How are you going to disband the corrupt units but rehire the same officers under a different name . That makes absolutely no sense. That would be like if someone had a night mayor child who has burned their furniture and then instead of dealing with the problem the parent was, like, okay, ive had it, jayden enough of this from now on your name is brian. Here are some matches. I think we had a good time. So protesters remained in the street and are demanding wholesale reforms in all parts of nigerian life. As we saw just today, the Police Crackdown is only becoming more violent. But what started as a Police Protest has now turned into a call for a social revolution. Nigerians now want more jobs, better schools, better infrastructure, and an end to all corruption, which is what end sars has now become. And if you dont know, now you know. Dont go away. After the breakers ill with chatting to the legendary Matthew Mcconaughey. Well be right think we will make it in time . You may not expect the unexpected, but you can certainly take it on. The lexus es wow, this rain is bananas. Now available with allwheel drive. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh dynanana, nana, nana, eh light it up, dynamite shining through the city with a little funk and soul so ima light it up like dynamite cause, ahah, shining through the city with a little funk and soul ima light it up like dynamite, whoa to defeat your opponent, you must become your opponent. Whats your wild rabbit . The daily social distancing show. So earlier today, i spoke with oscarwinning actor Matthew Mcconaughey. We talked about his new memoir greenlights and what it was like growing up with acne. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. Its really good to have you. Its good to be here. Im surprised we havent done this before. Glad to be here now and looking forward to it. Trevor im a huge fan of yours and ive loved enjoying your work, some of it again in this period. Youve released a book called greenlights. Its not a selfhelp book but a book of life lessons. Talk with me about why you chose to write the book now and why release so many snippets from your life from age 14. I started keeping journals 36 years ago. Like most people went to the journal, went to the diary when i was in times of loss or confusion. So and so broke up with me. My hearts hurt. Ive got pimples on my face, all this stuff. Then early 20s, found my groove, found my frequency, doing good in school, had a job, social relationshipsupses success, catching projeshial green lights. Someone said make sure youre still writing in that diary when things are going good because when you get in a rut again you might want to look back and see what your habits were and that proved to be true. So maybe it was coming across 50 years ago and i started off two or three years ago with a ghost writer. That person fell off the project which was the greatest blessing. I said, youve got to do it. My wife said, get out of here and go see about it. I thought i would be embarrassed and ashamed about but most of the embarrassment i laughed at, most of the shame i forgave myself for and ended up being the best time i ever had with myself and my past. Trevor i think there may have been moments of embarrassment, but there are so many things like i went, oh, yeah, ive lived through that. One to have the stories i related to was having the acne that was to the point where it was going to scar your face. It was a journey of how your mom was selling oil of mink and you had to try to use it to get rid of your acne which means you had one of the biggest breakouts that you ever had. Just tell us a little bit of that story. Mom started selling this oil of mink door to door. If you apply this to your face, it will bring out the impurities, but after the impurities are gone, you will have wonderful, glowing skin for the rest of your life. Im 15, i have a few pimples. What about in . Mom said, you should use oil of mink. I put it on religiously. More pimples. Three weeks in, full blown acne, my whole face and head swollen, im scared. I talked to a dermatologist and he said what are you putting on your face . I showed him the oil of mink. He said, no, thats for people over 35, not you when your oils are secreting oil. We need to get you on acuetain. My dad said the oil of mink doesnt have a disclaimer saying kids shouldnt wear it, lets sue them. He goes to a lawyer, and i remember the lawyer saying, oh, yeah, you look like shit, mathieu, you dont even look like your distress. You motived Emotional Distress. And i said, yes, Emotional Distress. He said we can make 35grand off Emotional Distress off this easy. As you know, depositions in law cases take a while. A year and a half later, im back now with the deposition for the defense, right. The acuetain is worked, ive cleared up and sitting across the table from the prosecutor. He says, gosh dog, look at these pictures of you back then. You didnt even look like yourself. You must have been so emotionally distressful. I said, yes he said, how did it go with the girls . I said horrible, horrible. Confidence dropped, he said, must have been so bad, so bad. Just scarred you for life, huh. Im, like, yes, sir. Im going, this is a poor prosecution, man. He reaches under the table and pulls out this year book and a page was marked on it. He puts it on the table, slides it over, opens it up, points to it and said whos that . And it was a picture of me from a year after the acne. Trevor right. It was me and camissa springs, on her sash it said most beautiful, on my sash it said most handsome. I saw that and i knew in my mino emotionally distressful. And i went, damn it we lost the case. And sure enough that blew the case. Then my dad went on for months going, son, we could have won 50,000 and you have to run off and win most handsome, what the hell . laughter trevor you blew the case but that was one to have the jumping off points for the life of Matthew Mcconaughey. People go sexiest man alive and good looking guy, but its down to earth and crazy experiences. Thats what the book feels like to me. When you look at the stories youre sharing in the book and the title greenlights, what are you trying to share with us as the reader . When i look back at the last 50 years, i noticed a lot of red and yellow lights. I had loot of crises. My dad died, i had a year abroad where i was lost and losing my mind. I noticed there were times, sometimes in the moment of the crisis, sometimes soon after it, sometimes years after it that i saw there was a lesson to be learned from that red and yellow light time in my life. A lot of times it was the way i looked at the situation. I call it the tool i used is win face with the inevitable, how do you get relative with the situation. Once you know its inevitable, do you keep enduring . Do you pivot or wave the white flag and go im moving on . All three of those are means to getting to a glean light. I found most everything turned into a green light or revealed its glean right assets. Every yellow and red light have green light assets. Covid, major red light. I truly believe this will reveal glean light assets in our future. I know personally, as many awkward and tragic year as its been, im closer with my mother, shes getting closer with the grandkids, im spending more time with the dog. Im trying to find the assets in it. Green light is not delusional, glass half full. No, this is not kumbaya. Once its inevitable, how can i see the asset and double down on them without denying the crisis. Humor does not deny a crisis, it just opens it up to say, well, now lets talk about it a little bit easier. It can reveal the truth more. Thats the thing i notice is sometimes, you know, we can engineer green lights in our life. There are choices we can make that delays things till tomorrow. Sometimes they land things in our lap and its what can we do with them. The other thing i get from the book is creating green lights from ourselves is not exclusive of creating green lights for other statement. Trevor i love that. What struck me in the book is how you share these stories from your point of view and what i love is how authentic it is. People knew you as this successful actor especially in the world of romcoms. You were the king of romcoms, you wanted to do more. Its strange, this was your challenge, how do you give up everything you worked for to try to get something you really believe you want for yourself. Talk about it through the Dallas Buyers Club an, why do you think you were willing to risk it all to get to where you wanted to be at . It was a time where what i was doing was grating against my soul. I think i say it in the book, i was not sleeping well and it had nothing to do with the mattress. I was enjoying my life. I was quite grateful for my life. I loved the work i did. I enjoyed the romcoms. But, at that time, camile and i just had our first son. So you have your first son, i mean, life is big and vital. I mean, you know, it had more rage, love, joy, laughed hard, cried harder. The ceiling and basement of emotions is how much i was feeling, vitality of life was emessage. In comedies, the feelings are compress bid design. I was saying can my work challenge my lifes vitality, cant it challenge the character i am in my life. Well, it wasnt at the time, so the work i wanted to do that might challenge my lifes vitality, they werent offered. So i decided, if i cant do what i want to do, im going to stop doing what i have been doing. Then 20 monthso go by. Im gone, considered other careers. Guess who just became a new good idea for meaty dramatic roles out there . Matthew mcconaughey. Why . Because hes been gone. Where the hell has he been . Unbranded. Hasnt been on romcom, shirtless on the beach, i dont know where he is. Since i dont know where he is, hes now maybe a new good idea. Thats what happened. So i held out and it was a good sabbatical. Trevor well, ill tell you this, i thought you were amazing before i read the book, now im a bona fide fan. Thank you for the time, for sharing your stories, for sharing your life and, yeah, i hope for more green lights in your journey. And im excited tore the audio book. I hope everyone reads the book. I had to fake it. I had to be well, i was born and this is what i did. But i want to hear your voice. So im excited for the audio book. Thank you for joining us on the show. Thank you, pleasure to be here, trevor. Appreciate it. Trevor when we come back, Chef Jose Andres will tell me what he has planned for the election. Lets say its going to be, like, really delicious. You dont want to miss it. So earlier today, i spoke with world refound chef and founder of the world central kitchen, jose andres. We chatted about his latest initiative chefs for the polls which is providing meals at polling sites around the country. Chef jose. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show. How are you, sir . I am great. I am in spain right now. I am in madrid. I just landed a few hours ago, and i came to make sure that everything in spain was okay and to see how we could keep helping in spain, to keep moving forward on this pandemic. Trevor you have been on the front lines of this pandemic from the very beginning. I mean, we talked about this a while ago on the show. I dont know if it was a week ago or two or five months ago, ive lost all track of time. What is the next project you are embarking on and what makes it so exciting. So, trevor, yes. So we created what we call chefs for the polls to make sure that every american, we the people, republicans and democrats, people waiting in line for long hours for Different Reasons of why, that people will have food and water or anything else they need. Thats the minimum we can do to the American People right now. In many states across america, like georgia, california, pennsylvania, other states, we will have men and women especially in poor neighborhoods waiting for three to twelve hours. This shouldnt be happening in america. Im only trying to make sure that every american has the possibility for food. And im bringing food and water to them as they wait in line, thats the least we can do. Trevor its going to make a major impact for so many people who have to choose between eating and going and standing in line, between taking the time to sustain themselves or taking the opportunity to uphold their democracy. Were lucky to be partnering with you on this project as the daily show and as comedy central, but youve teamed up with powerhouses as well. Tell me about the partnership between yourselves and Michelle Obamas foundation. Well, number one, thank you always for you, your team being there for us, and thank you for your support. Obviously, we have amazing organizations. Two of them, when we all vote, Michelle Obama is emphasizing that every american, everywhere, no matter where you come from, your religion, has an opportunity to vote, and, also, more than a vote, its showing to me and to america and the world that great players are even better off than on the court. We are going to be in so many places, especially on what we call the early voting day, where were going to have many going for the first time forker the opportunity to vote. And remember this, you may be a republican, you may be a democrat, you may have issues about what trump or biden says, but lets face it, we have been in the biggest pandemic that we have experienced in over 100 years. If anything, not only because its the right thing to do for democracy, but because we are in the middle of the pandemic, and we need to protect every single american, especially the elderly, the simple thing of voting. Well be next to all the partners to make sure that every american has the possibility and the opportunity and the right to do that in a simple way. Trevor thank you for what youre doing. Were proud to be working with you. Were excited to see what you will be doing. Thank you again for joining us on the show. Thank you, trevor. Thank you. I love you. Trevor all right, were going to take a quick break. But well be right back after this. Well, thats our show for tonight, but before we go, if you liked what you heard from Chef Jose Andres tonight, well then check this out, were partnering with world central kitchen for their new chefs for the polls program. Theyll be activating local food trucks owned and operated primarily by people of color to serve food to people in voting lines, especially in underserved black and brown communities where voting lines are historically longer. If you can help out and want to make it a bit easier for people to vote, then donate at the link below. Until next week stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember, the best way to not get busted masturbating on zoom is not to masturbate on zoom. Now, here it is your moment of zen. Features videos for the internet and is for mature audience. They do not condone activities perform and discourages anyone from attempting them. Enjoy. We were thuonce a lick insid your mouth. Is foreplay considered beastality . Asking for a friend. My best friend, must dog. Welcome to tosh 2. 0. It is still the season of mourning. Thats not how life works. Real talk. Tonight, i slap a Parental Advisory sticker on this important graphic pop star. I learned multitask with this legendary internet artist. And this weeks lucky sob