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Trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with some good news. Ill give you a home to remember what that is. When the coronavirus pandemic hit, scientists said it could be a year to 18 months before we got a vaccine, but just Like High School seniors on prom night, things are moving faster than expected. Encouraging news as several companies rush to develop a vaccine against the coronavirus. There are promising results in early trials of at least three potential vaccine. One developed by the university of oxford astrazeneca. Results say it is safe and produced an immune response in patients. Another in cansino biologics, is said to have presented i cant bodies in a month. Another pfizer and biontech. Trevor this is exciting. Not one, not two but three vaccines . And isnt the story of life . One moment you have too little, the next moment youre overwhelmed with options. Three vaccines . Which one do i choose . The chinese one, the oxford one. This is so hard. Can i get a scoop of each. Yeah, a scoop of each. Part of me likes the fact they arent made in america. America is one country where people will let politics to stop them from getting the veeps. I dont want that trump vaccine. Im resisting a Biden Vaccine is a liberal trap. You think its a coincidence that coronavirus has the letters a, o and c in it . Now, as hopeful as this is i please remember there are a lot of steps between now and a full vaccine. I mean, need to finish the trials, they need to ramp up the vaccine production, plus they need to produce over a billion lollipops, because i dont care if its the covid vaccine, if you give me a shot, you best believe im leaving with a lollipop. The u. S. Needs the vaccine sooner than later because coronavirus is still hitting america hard, including in ways no one would have thought of. First it was toilette paper and hand sanitizer, now the coronavirus pandemic is causing americans to see a shortage of coins. The Federal Reserve is rationing the distribution of coins to banks. The banks, in turn, are supplying fewer coins to businesses. Some Retail Stores are telling customers to use exact change or pay by credit or debt card. The bank in wisconsin is paying people to bring in spare change to help local businesses. The Community State Bank Launched a coin buyback program. People who turn in 100 worth of change will get a 5 bonus. Hundreds of people have already dropped off spare change. Some brought in coins without asking for anything back. Trevor yes, there are so few coins right now that banks are paying people to bring in their loose change. Right now, i bet people all over the country are in line at gift shops with flattened pennies standing around, like, yo, you better throw that machine in reverse im trying to get paid where are all the magicians when we need them . Now is a good time to pull a quarter from behind my army. Not at m at my grandfathers ful when you were trying to cheer me up. I know you killed him wouldnt be amazing if this is the next chapter of massive wealth generation in america. The oil boom gave birth to the rockefeller dynasty, then there was mark and jeff bezos. Then coin shocialgh shortage ofr grandmother kept all the pennies and now shes surfing with too much sun block on her face. Queen elizabeth ii might want to invest in a ring doorbell because covid just took out some of her security team. The tower of london stood in the british capitol for nearly a thousand years but is not immune to coronavirus. Theyre facing redundancy. The beef eaters live and work at the tower providing tours. The organization that runs the tower says the pandemic has dealt a devastating blow to its finances. Some of the approximately three dozen beef eaters could lose their jobs. Trevor yes, the world famous beef eaters are losing their jobs. And i dont get this, the same people with a tower full of jewels cant afford to pay a few guards salaries . Pawn a jewel or put up a castle for an airbnb. Im willing to bet some of the royal family are less worried about security now that Meghan Markle has left the country. It feels like crime has gone down around these parts, i dont know why. The queen isnt leaving the tower completely unguard. She hired the couple from st. Louis to wave guns at tourists who come too close. I hope they dont fire the guys in the furry hats, too. Because those guys dont respond to anything. Im sorry, jim. But we have to let you go. Jim, were firing you. Jim. Jim. Jim. Jim ore, forget it, ill just grab a selfie. Whats funny is they put, like, the hat on bush due ive already got those are just afros that have been anyway. Moving on, the big news is now out of portland, oregon, the first city to legalize marriage between a book store and bike shop. Portland has seen more than 50 Straight Days of black lives matter protests. But over the last few days, something new has been happening with more and more protesters facing off against heavily armed Law Enforcement in some very dramatic ways. Moms gathered singing please dont shoot me last night but local media says federal agents used tear gas and flash bombs to disperse the crowd. Please dont shoot me some people are calling a 53yearold naval veteran superman because he did not react after shot with tear gas. This woman showed up naked wearing nothing but a face mask and beanie. The police disdisperse when she just sat there and showed her body. Trevor protesting naked . Now, thats brave ri. Although are we sure being naked is part of a protest . She could just be one of those people who spent so much time in lockdown they forgot they have to wear clothes when they leave the house. Again, im sorry one to everyone in the bodega. I was popping in to buy some nuts. I didnt mean for everyone to see mine. How dope are the moms. You know the protests are picking up steam when your mom shows up. My jeremy wants to fight the system because this guy is a real acab, right, jeremy . Mom, i told you i could defeat fascism my myself, god whats blind this . Theyre reacting to a move by the Trump Administration that put the whole city on edge. For months, local officials there had been allowing Peaceful Demonstrations without too much interference, but President Trump was not happy about that, so he decided to send in the feds, which led to scenes like this. A crisis unfolding in portland, oregon, after a video surfaced online that showed massive camouflaged federal agents detaining peaceful protesters. Attorney general alan rose bloom said federal agents are escalating the violence. Shes suing several asies because of this. Whats going on . Who are you . Theyre grabbing people off the streets, putting them into their vans. Trevor sounds like more of an episode of narcos. Unidentified soldiers throwing protesters into an unmarked van on a streets of portland . I dont care who you are, nothing good has ever come from an unmarked van. Its not like get in the unmarked van were going to disney world and how are people supposed to tell the drrns between arrest and kidnapping . I dont know if you noticed, but in america, random dudes walk around in camel gear holding guns all the time. Can you tell which of these is a federal officer and which is army man kos play . Because i cant. If you ask me, only one solution here and that solution is that everyone should dress up in camo. Thats the only way everyones going to be safe. That way, when they come to arrest you and throw you in their van. You can be like, no, im arresting you and throwing you in my van. Then things will get so confusing, you will get thrown in your own van and can drive home. If youre wondering why should i care about this . Its happening in portland. Im not even a hipster well, now, trump says hes planning to send these secret police to cities all across america. So you might want to get naked and call your mom because shits about to go down. Were about to take a quick break. When we come back, well try to solve the ageold math question. If a country has 3 million coronavirus cases but one idiot in the white house, when will schools reopen . Stay tuned for the answer. applause so we have many exciting things that well be announcing over the next eight weeks, i would say, things that nobody has even contemplated, thought about, thought possible, and things that were going to get done, and we have gotten done, and weve started in most cases. Were taking on so many aspects of things that but you will see levels of detail, and you will see levels of thought that a lot of people believed very strongly we didnt have in this country. Were going to get things done. Were going to get things done that theyve wand to see done for a long, long time. So i think well start sometime on tuesday. As a dependent because its inanimate people ask me what sort of a person should become a celebrity accountant. And, i tell them, nobody should. Hey, buddy. Whats the damage . I bought it the waterfall . Nope a new volkswagen. A volkswagen . I think were having a breakthrough here welcome to caesars palace. Thank you. Amanda nunes wears hers with pride. From standing up for herself against the doubters, to being the only woman in her mma training gym. Amanda refused to let stereotypes get in her way. Whether inside the octagon or out. Since 1925, weve proved that it doesnt matter where you come from, it matters what youre made of. Modelo. The official beer of ufc. It matters what youre made of. We know these are challenging times. Rest assured, you are not alone. Weve all had to adapt. And with summer here, your energy bills might go up with rising temperatures. Together, we can save energy and money. Try closing your shades during the day. Setting your ac to 78 or higher. Or cooling off with a fan when you can. United we are always stronger. Stay well, california, and keep it golden. [orange] hey, whats up guys . [ginger] oh my god [captain] orange, why are you naked . [orange] oh god, is my camera on . [captain] ill never unsee this. [orange] okay hold on. Hows that . [miscellaneous reactions of disgust] [orange] floridas finest baby. So [bleep] it here are the rules for summer this year. Lays are preferred. Pants are optional. Recipes are better with cheetos. Tostitos salsa goes with everything. Frito lay. Lets summer tell me how you feel, are you even real tell me how you feel, are you even real are you even real [humming] daily social distancing show. Its no secret that the United States that is not been handling the coronavirus well. On the failure scale, it rates somewhere between fire festival and white girl rapping at karaoke. And one person who has not been making things better is donald trump. President of the United States and reason you can no longer wear red baseball hat. For months now, Health Officials have been saying that everyone should wear a mask when theyre out in public, and trump has replied, no thanks. But now, its his idea. This morning, facing an uphill battle for reelection, President Trump with a course correction. Now offering a direct appeal to americans to wear a mask, tweeting this photo and writing, many people say that it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you cant socially distance. There is nobody more patriotic than me, your favorite the president. A white house official says the picture was taken during his recent visit to walter reed, the only time hes worn a mask in public. Trevor no nothing more patriotic than waiting for 34,000 people to die and grudgingly becoming the last person to put on a mask. Im always amazed how shamelessly he shifts his positions and acts like were the ones to catch on. I was the finn one to call it a pandemic before anyone who who it was. I wore a mask before anybody, in mask. Can we get kay leigh to check on it, please . I invented it. No one knew who it was. A mask, mask. While President Trump struggles with literally the easiest possible thing, everyone is focused on a more difficult problem, what to do about reopening schools. Its the subject of our new segment, class of covid 19. School, its how americas tik tok stars spend their mornings. As the new school year approaches, covid 19 has made things more complicated than your math teachers combover because the big question, is even if the virus isnt a major threat to children, can they become adorable superspreaders who infect teachers, staff and their families back home . Well, now we might be getting some answers. As many School Systems weigh their options and evaluate data, a large and systematic new study out of south korea suggests kids younger than ten spread the disease less, about half as much as adults, but children above age ten can spread the virus at the same rate as adults. Older kids, those teenagers, get infected more frequently than young kids and we have to be mindful of it as we bring kids back to school. Trevor oh, man, this is really not good. Scientists now say teenagers can spread the virus just as easily as adults, and you know some parents are going to try to brag about this. You know, uh, little timmy is only 13, but apparently he spreads covid at a college level. I dont think any of this should be surprising to anyone. Like im not a scientist, but, of course, teenagers have spread coronavirus everywhere. Just look how well they spread rumors. For the last time, guys, i did not pee my pants in math class, okay . I peed them in english in first period. So this isnt great news. The only Silver Lining is that it might at least help stop bullying. Id shove you in a locker right now but my nana has a compromised immune system. So, clearly, if kids go back to school, theres a good chance the virus is going to spread even more. Which means americans has two choices, immediately develop massive resources to a regime so kids can be tested, protected and monitored or, two, dont to that. Missouri governor mike parson is pushing for kids in his state to go back to school even if they get sick. These kids have got to get back at school, theyre at the lowest risk as possible, and if they get covid 19, which they will, and they will when they go to school, theyre not going to the hospitals, they wont have to sit in Doctors Office force days, theyre going to go home and get over it . Okay, heres the thing, governor parsons is not wrong, kids are the least susceptible to covid 19, and if they do get sick, they usually dont need to go to the hospital, they can stay home. But what he seems to be forgetting is that, unless all these kids live in neverland, they go home to adults, which is not good, because, you see, coronavirus is like baby shock it cant hurt kids, but it will destroy adults lives. So, basically, if you dont get corona under control, the schools can turn into an Amazon Fulfillment Center for coronavirus. It starts in a centralized location and, within a couple of days, its personally delivered to everyones house, or maybe one day with prime. The only way this isnt going to get adults infected is if parents and their kids have no contact, i mean no communication, no affection whatsoever, no touching. Basically trumps relationship with eric. And parents arent the only ones in danger here. Unsurprisingly, teachers all across america are not enthused at the the idea of having to put their lives at risk to little aidan can build a baking soda volcano. In an historic move, floridas Largest Teachers Union is suing floridas governor tore fully allowing schools to open in a few weeks. Until these issues are resolved, most parents in america are stuck between a rock and hard place. What do you do . Kind your kids at home, teach them yourselves, and eventually blow your brains out, or take them to school and gamble with your familys health. Rich families, many decided option c. Many parents are creating pandemic pods. Pandemic pods, a 2020 version of the oneroom school house. The small groups of students are getting together and paying for a private teacher. They see it as a way to mitigate risks and give kids a chance to socialize and Learn Together during inperson teaching. The price for inperson instructors can run between 25 to 80 an hour, adding to concerns that the coronavirus pandemic is exacerbating the inequities in the education system. Trevor yes, rich people are getting private instructors because, one, they can afford it and, two, because they arent allowed to just bribe colleges anymore. And here we have yet another way that the education gap in america is going to become even wider because, after this pandemic, youre going to have kids who are supposed to be at a fifth grade reading level only reading at a second or third grade level. And if this generation comes out of school not being able to read, what jobs are going to be available to them . President for sure, but what else . Thats where america is now, in a time when students need help more than ever the government is going from no child left behind to, yo, you kids are on your own. Dont go away. Roy wood, jr. And Michael Kosta go into the n. B. A. Bubble. Then we talk to the reggae legend buju banton. Well be righ when you think of a bank, you think of people in a place. But when you have the chase mobile app, your bank can be virtually any place. So, when you get a check. You can deposit it from here. And you can see your transactions and check your balance from here. You can detect suspicious activity on your account from here. And you can pay your friends back from here. So when someone asks you, wheres your bank . You can tell them heres my bank. Or heres my bank. Or, heres my bank. Because if you download and use the chase mobile app, your bank is virtually any place. So visit chase. Com mobile. Well the names have all. Welcome back, america. It sure is good to see you. Werbut right bead istart it surcutting him off now,. Left bead is making a bit of contact ohh weve got a double bead going for the inside line the left bead into first place wow aaaahhhh. Beautiful. The daily distancing show. Even though the coronavirus has shut down most sports, theres still sports news out there, which means its time to go to roy wood, jr. And Michael Kosta for another edition of i apologize for talking while you were talking. Whats up sports fans . Im roy wood, jr. And hes Michael Kosta. Sports is back which means we are back. Costa, are you excited to be talking sports again . inaudible . I cant hear you. Youre on mute. Yeah, i was saying im excited. Same here. Hockey is on its way back, baseball is starting up again. Lets get it i cant wait. Those are my two favorite sports to ignore while i look at my phone. But the return everyone is talking about is the return of the n. B. A. Thats right, coronavirus cut the season short before the playoffs but the n. B. A. Is back with a plan thats more complicated than trying to projoins gann giannis antetokounmpo. Giannis antetokounmpo. The n. B. A. Hopes to shield the rest of its season from cost cost by keeping players and staff inside an isolation bubble. The teams will live, practice and play in orlando without outside visitors or fans. Players and staff from all 22 teams will be sequestered at the complex in the Walt Disney World resort. The league lays out everything from how the players will work, play, relax, eat as well as be monitored for covid 19 when play resumes. It will have to be consistent surveillance on a daily basis to make sure people who are negative for coronavirus stay negative. Thats right, the naive will finish their season playing inside a bubble. Roy, i love this idea. Reminds me of sleep away camp growing up, playing games, spending time together. Friends shoving cue tips up your nose trevor what i hear is mostly black dudes locked up with less surveillance. Basically prison. And whose idea was it to bubble up in florida with the spiking cases . Whats the second option, season in the middle of a trump rally . Its fine, roy, theyre in a bubble yeah, and if they respected the bubble, it could work, but the problem is players are already breaking the rules. The n. B. A. Is not playing around when it comes to the bubble boundaries for players who are staying at the Walt Disney World campus in orlando. Sacramento kings forward holmes says he accidentally crossed a campus line to pick up a food delivery. Well, now, hes under a mandatory tenday quarantine. An unnamed n. B. A. Player contacted this Instagram Model named anna and invited her to the bubble. Unbubble believable. The n. B. A. Season can be at risk because selfish players want talkout and hot hot sex. So selfish, so hot. Incredibly hot, roy. The breaking quarantine for outside food is just unnecessary. Theyve already got great food options in the bubble. Look at this delicious meal Denver Nuggets player troy daniels tweeted out. Its a cornucopia of culinary delight. Arugula, two bags of chips, watermelon, a roll and a giant plastic bag, a smaller thing of water mel b. Thats at least 11 calories right there. The point is they havent started playing games and the the bubble is already falling apart. Kosta, this season is like you having sex with an graham model, its going to end prematurely. Not so fast. That was in private i told you that. But if you look at the numbers, its actually pretty promising. The n. B. A. Had zero positive cases in recent round of testing. The League Testing close to 350 players living on the n. B. A. Campus at disney world, all of the tests negative. I didnt know its working. Let me in the bubble. Ill do whatever it takes. Ill be the water boy, ill mop up sweat, i will be Anthony Davis back up unibrow. Whatever it takes, you have to let me in there. You dont have to pay me i dont blame you for want ago piece of the bubble, roy, not only is it the safest place in america, but looks like theyre having a pretty good time in there. Chris paul is like everyone else embracing the outdoor life at disney world. This is a fish he caught before practice. The Dallas Mavericks were doing a socially distanced dance party on their balcony. Leonard getting in on the latest challenge, chucking beer tore the second week in a row. This has to be less than a second for the shotgun. N. B. A. Players are like us, shotgunning beers alone. He made the beer disappear like a q tip up your nose on the cabin. We have to find a way inside. Im already turning myself into an Instagram Model to seduce the players. All i have to do is post this pick. What do you think about that bubble . Im going to d. M. The n. B. A. In instagram. Worth a shop. Back to you trevor. Im going to make a second account i have been kicked off the internet. Trevor thank you so much, guys. After the break, ill be speaking to grammy award winner buju banton about his latest album. Stick around. Hey, kids welcome to camp tonsafun on xfinity its summer camp, but in your living room. Learn how to draw with a minions expert. How to build an indoor Obstacle Course plus. Whatever shes doing. And me, jade cattapreta. The host of es the soup camp tonsafun. Its like summer camp, but minus the poison ivy. Unless you own poison ivy. In which case, why . Just say summer camp into your xfinity voice remote to join. The daily distancing show. Earlier today, i spoke with grammy Award Winning artist buju banton. We talked about his new album upside down 2020, which is his first album in ten years. Buju banton, welcome to the daily distancing show. Good to be on your program. Trevor it truly is an honor to have you on because you are a legend, and i mean this is no a term people use lightly, especially in the same genre as people like bob marley or peter tosh. They say buju banton is a legend of reggae. And youre back with a new album. Youre back with an album that has been so highly anticipated that when you performed in jamaica at the national stadium, not only were you the first artist to sell out since bob marly, but people flew from all over the world to see you. People want to hear your music and feel what you create. What does it feel like for you to be in that position again to be making music again, to be back . Its a lovely feeling. But i dont think im a legend of reggae, im a servant of reggae. Reggae is music that comes from the people of jamaica. Being able to create music and make music is a tremendous feeling because, when youre separated from those that you love and the things that you love, you create from a sacred place inside of you. You its a narrative that you can identify with. It brings great joy to be able to reconnect with what you truly love. So come see my people and celebrate that moment with people from all over the world, it was like noah being in an ark. laughter trevor whats powerful is the journey so many of your fans were on with you. You sing and talked about it. Your tour is called the long walk to freedom tour. You sing about being freed from the chains and you talk about what it was like being incarcerated and how that, you know, constricted you as a human being. When you use your music to communicate, what do you hope people understand about what its like to not have your freedom as a human being . First and foremost, music is just something with gyrating and dancing. It has those qualities, but its also the ability for you to think, the ability to learn something from the music. I always wanted to make music to educate, stimulate the minds of the people. You will not see some doing that. That gives us a tremendous joy that we can communicate to the people and bring that music to the people. So we always try to make sure that, whenever people hear or see buju banton, positivity is a necessary ingredient that youre going to get. Youre going to get music to gyrate, but youre going to get something inside of you. Trevor you say music informs but i would push back and say not all music informs. Reggae has a rich history of being conscious, you know. Reggae has always been like a music form where it seems laid back and relaxed, it seems like thats the vibe that people get but when you listen to whats happening in reggae, its talking about the world, its talking about the society, its talking about the problems that were dealing with. Some of the people are trying to rise up. It speaks about the people who rise up but are still being hampered by the measures that keep them in place. People relate to it across africa, across america and it was made here in jamaica and never ceased from being a conversation starter. Trevor the album is called upside down 2020, and what i found most fascinating is you named it before 2020, and now we are truly living in an upside down 2020. Did you have a feeling that 2020 would be upside down, or should we blame you for basically putting us in this situation with your prediction . Many are always looking for somebody to blame. laughter we need to find profound changes that need to be made. Upsaid down, my music has something i see as a gift from the great i am, from the higher source, from the great god whom i serve. So whenever i get an inspiration, i cannot hide inspiration from the people who the message were meant for as a servant, i must serve the people. So when we say god looks over hills and valleys, we look to someone who lived over 2,000 years ago, and we hope our brothers and sisters live in harmony. Its the same inspirational spirit that flows through man and inspires man to make music. Our music has been relegated to a third world music. I would say its a great inspiration from the great inspirator. Trevor one to have the many things i think i appreciated about hearing this music is how vulnerable it felt, you know. You have ten tracks on the album dedicated to the ten years of your life that you lost. You have ten tracks on the album that are dedicated to the future. We know what were living through, we know what were going to be talking about, but what do you hope the future will bring, not just to yourself but to humanity . Yes, peace. Peace and love. Yes. No one is calling for peace and love. Everyone is calling for peace and love. You may think im a dreamer, but i dream. I want peace. Peace and love. My people and our people. Trevor sir, i hope that youre right. I hope that the assume way your album title is prophetic, maybe those words will also come to be a prophecy that becomes fulfilled. Because it is the spoken word, let us use its and speak things into existence. Trevor i appreciate that, buju banton. Thank you for joining us on the the daily show. Thank you for playing it to the audience. Hope you enjoy my offering. Trevor we know we will. Were going to hear buju banton perform exclusively for the daily show from upside down 2020. We know america is facing a shortage of poll workers. Because theyre mostly over 60, theyre not showing up. It means fewer polling stations are open and longer lines not everybody can afford to stay and wait in. The good news is most poll working is paid and in some states, you can be as young as 16 to do it. So if youre interested and you have the time, this is your chance to save your granny, protect democracy and make some money, too. Sign on the link below to learn more. Till tomorrow, stay safe, keep away from your kids. And now to perform his song, buried alive, from his studio in jamaica, please welcome back buju banton. Oh lord i was buried alive but im still breathing i dont know what tomorrow may bring but i got a feeling i am alive, there must be a reason i was given one more chance, my heart still beating buried alive but im still breathing i dont know what tomorrow may bring but i got a feeling, alright now i am alive, there must be a reason i was given one more chance, my heart still beating now all this time, ive been blind only running against the wind friends of mine, pass with time after living a life of sin some nearly give up, many give in its my determination to win i survived the worst of times i survived yeah i was buried alive but im still breathing i dont know what tomorrow may bring but i got a feeling, alright now i am alive, there must be a reason i was given one more chance, my heart still beating, oh they made a ditch for one but there would be two in their attempt to out my life the wicked things they do but jah made i brave and i cant care the grave, oh no the lord is my salvation of whom shall i fear . I was buried alive but im still breathing i dont know what tomorrow may bring but i got a feeling all right now i am alive, there must be a reason i was given one more chance, my heart still beating one more time i said, buried alive but im still breathing i dont know what tomorrow may bring but i got a feeling all right i am alive, there must be a reason i was given one more chance, my heart still beating my heart still beating my heart still beating my heart still beating my heart still beating my heart still beating my heart still beating i was buried alive thank you. Im going down to south park gonna have myself a time both Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation im going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor headin on up to south park gonna see if i cant unwind [muffled] come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine

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