Anyway, on tonights episode, kayne west is coming for the white house. Why celebrities were banned from sending tweets. And reparations are finally here. So lets do this, people. Welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Lets kick it off with twitter. Social Media Network and trumps longest serving press secretary, on a normal day its a place where people can share ideas with each other while also getting yelled at by neonazis. But yesterday was not a normal day. Today twitter is scrambling to recover from one of the biggest Security Breaches in internet history after bitcoin scammers apparently compromised some of the platforms highest profile accounts for hours wednesday. Targeting Companies Like uber and apple and wealthy public figures like bill gates, elon musk and jeff bezos, even former president barack obama and former Vice President joe biden. Many of the hijacked accounts posting similar language inviting users to sub mit bitcoin payments to a single account promising to double their money. Several hundred people quickly responded sending if tens of thousands of dollars. Twitter revealing the hack was a coordinated social engineering attack by people who successfully targeted some of our employees with access to internal systems and tools. Twitter also confirming they prehavented some verified accounts from tweeting wednesday evening as they investigated the attack. Trevor thats right. Barack obama, joe biden, bill gates, jeff bezos, Kim Kardashian. Yo, if you were famous there was a good chance you were hacked on twitter yesterday. Now for some reason the hackers missed my account which makes no sense because im famous. But whatever. It was probably like a second round or something. I dont care. So twitter released a statement saying that luckily the president s twitter account was not hacked. But how with they know . I mean this is the same guy who tweets about beating iran and the con fed rancee in the span of 10 minutes. He prehacks himself. The only way you would know if a hacker got trump is if the spelling was correct. Guys trump spelled coronavirus right, i think he got hacked. So in response to the hack twitter actually disabled tweets from anyone with a verified account. Yeah, blue check mark, couldnt tweet. And i have got to be honest, as someone who has a verified account, cuz im famous, remember, it was hard not being able to post for a few hours yesterday. And i had to resort to some drastic measures. anna kendrick, have i a great voice and i would love to be in the next trolls movie. trevor noah i told you to leave me alone. Blocked and reported. anna kendrick, thanks so much for responding. Big fan. Moving on to some political news, last week kayne west hiphop superstar and permanent residence of everyones prayer list announced that he was running for president. And then a few days later one of his advisors said actually hes not running for president. But now maybe he is. Kayne west unconventional president ial bid is showing signs of life. Oklahoma officials confirming that he will appear on the november general election ballot. The group called kayne 2020 filed a First FederalElection Form for wests candidacy. Okay im sorry, this is just crazee. Kayne west is actually running for president . I mean i guess he reversed his position on whether one man should have all that power. Now a lot of people are worried that kayne with will be a spoiler for joe biden. But i dont know, man, think about it, who is kayne west, he is a man without goes on long unintelligible rant, condition fantly on his positions bragged about the size of his penis. If anything, kayne is trump but with better beats. And i mean this all goes to show you how much things can change. Who would have thought ten years ago that one day you would be thinking okay, man, im scared that kayne could become president but at least Kim Kardashian will be there to brung some seriousness to the white house. But lets move on to someone even less qualified to be president than kayne, donald j. Trump. Most polls now show him losing badly to democratic dom knee and sunglass hut platinum member joe biden. And yesterday trump took a big step to try and stop the bleeding. Breaking news in washington where president announced a shakeup in his reelection team. With less than four months until election day President Trump is announcing a major change to his reelection team. The president demoted long time manager Brad Parscale, it come as mid a string of boched efforts to reboot his Campaign Amid the ongoing pandemic including his june rally in tulsa where only a third of the arena was filled. Trump promoted the Deputy Campaign manager of bill stepian to the new role of manager. Parscale will stay on the team. Sources say he was informed of the change by the president s son in law jared kushner. Wow, i am not going to lie, i kind of feel bad for this guy. Not only did he get fired, but he got fired by jared kushner. Like what was that conversation like . We have to let you go. Because youre just not succeeding in your job. No now if you will excuse me, have i to get back to solving the mid e8 east. It is almost worse that he is also still part of the campaign team. Think about that, staying on the team when you have been de vote demoted you, like your wife leaving you but then saying you are welcome to live with her and her new boyfriend. If you ask me this guy is not the prb. Is he the scapegoat, Donald Trumps campaign isnt struggling because of his Campaign Manager. It is struggling because doned a trump is the candidate. What say new Campaign Manager going to do. He is going to say our Campaign Needs a consistent message and trump will be like you got it, i will do a photo of myself in a bathtub covered in goya beans, so much goya, goya, goya, goya, all over my body. So con dollnesses to Brad Parscale but you should be proud of yourself, because at this point getting out of the Trump Campaign without getting into prison, that is an achievement. In other news as coronavirus continues to rage across the country, more people are finally learning the importance of wearing face masks. Walmart and other major chains have announced that people Must Wear Masks in their stores, st mandatory. And the governor of alabama issued a statewide mask mandate. But unfortunately some people are Still Standing firm against science. Georgia governor brie an kemp is banning local governments from mandating masks despite a sharp spike in cases in his state. He extended his Public Health declaration to include banning 15 cities and counties from ordering people to wear a face mask in public. We can have all this guidance and Everything Else but if people wont follow it and do the right thing, than it doesnt really matter. Hold up, hold up. This governor is saying why even have laws, people arent going to follow them anyway. Man, we are already living through outbreak. I am not trying to add the purge. I dont even get what what the hangup is. What are people fighting, are they fighting tirn knee, is that why they dont want to wear mask because you realize the government also makes you wear clothes in public too, that is a thing. But i dont see anyone showing up pantsless to walmart like these are free dumb nuts, and finally it took 155 years but here is some good news for black people. A histor you can moment, the city of asheville apologizing to black res donts for racist policies and approving a resolution fore reparation call are fog increased investment in the black comeument including in housing and business and it asks the state and federal government to form policies to create generational wealth. Trevor wow, wow, wow. This is really special news. And i think the first step of reparations should be changing that citys name from asheville to moisturizeville. Unfortunately though, because this is happening in asheville north carolina, all reparations will be paid in arts and crafts from the thriving gallery community. For more asheville comedy tune in to my spinoff show, the dash now obviously people have a lot of strong opinions when it comes to reparations so lets check in with our own dulce sloan and see what she thinks about some exciting news, dont you think . Africanamericans beginning to get rich rations. Yeah, it sounds good, prefer but i have been black far too long to trust government promises. Were still waiting for that meal they promised us back in 1865. If you want me to trust them now, first they got to pay up on that mule. Trevor wait, you really want the 40 acres and a mule . No, i dont want the 40 acres because i know these white people, they will give me a landfill in idaho or utah or some and they will make me pay taxes on it. Trevor, do you know you have to pay taxes every year . No wonder want to jail. So if you dont want the 40 acres why would you want the mule. Why wouldnt i want a mule it can carry my grocery. I could open a petting zoo, and the best part is white people will be jealous ive got a pet that they dont have i could dress it up in costumes am i could post pictures of it on instagram. Can i bring it on plane, white people are going to be so thirsty for my mule. Hmmmm, the jellosy, that will be the real reparation. Dulce, you live in an apartment, where is the mule going to live. Thats the mules problem. All i know is i am going to name him fluffles and mi going to teach him to bite parents. Uhhuh, yeah, call the cops on me now, fluffles chomping on your ass karen, i have to go rent a moving van because im moving to ash ill, asheville, home of reparations, asheville, you better have my money. Fluffles, im coming, baby. Trevor good luck with that dulce. Dulce sloan, everybody. We have to take a quick break but when we come back well be checking in with how other countries are dealing with the coronavirus right now. Stick wow. hundred bands in my pocket, its on me on me yeah, your grandmama probably know me know me its a moment when i show up, got em sayin, wow new doritos flamin hot limon. Sixtytwo thousand seven hundred and ten dollars and thirtyone cents. Sofi allowed me to refinance all of my loans to one low Interest Rate and an affordable monthly payment. 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Com education. Vaccine. But russia may have found a competitive edge. This is cnn breaking news. We start with breaking news coming into cnn. The u. S. , canada and the United Kingdom have accused russia of carrying out cyberattacks on several Coronavirus Research centers. The three governments believe the aim was to steal information about vaccine development. Trevor thats right, people. Russia is trying to hack its way to a vaccine. And honestly i want russia to steal the vaccine. Yeah, i said it. Because i will be honest, based on how good they are at poisoning people, theyll be really good at making sure everyone is vaccinated. You wont even have to go to a doctor. You just have to bump into a guy on a bridge with an umbrella and it will be over before you know it also, is it that bad if they steal the information if it leads to them getting a vaccine. At this point i will take the vaccine from anywhere. Same way a thirsty man in the desert will drink dasani. We dont have choices, im just surprised russia tried to hack mark for the solution. I mean the u. S. handling corona worse than any other country. This is like cheating offer the kid who spends the whole class drawing dicks on their desk. So answer number three is moving on to japan, the country that always knew shaking hands was a bad idea, the asian superpower has been doing a good job fighting the virus and are starting to reopen the country but theyre being very very careful about it. At fudgei cue highland Amusement Park outside tokyo these are two of the parks executives stoically riding their biggest coster fudgeiala while displaying proper etiquette for rule implemented, a parnlgly to fugique said they received complaints that the rule was too stricter so they released this video to prove it can be done. One suit and tie do not change their expressions for the entirety of the four minute thrill ride. The video then concluded with this philosophical piece of advice quote please scream inside your heart. Trevor thats right. Scream inside your heart. Thats the same advice dr. Fauci tells himself before every press conference. Its a really hard thing to not scream at an Amusement Park and it will be extra hard at disney world because people there scream every time they see how much a hot dog cost, what, i paid what . And i guess one person who will never be able to ride roller coasters in jp an is my best friend, because this is a clip from us riding a roller coaster before coronavirus. [bleep] z. Trevor ha ha ha ha, i miss human beings. Next up, lets go to barbados. A beautiful caribbean country and the worlds number one exporter of ria. Due to covid19 shutting down the Tourism Industry barbados is trying to turn it to its advantage. Ever dreamed of living on an island paradise that could be a reality for you, Remote Working is the new normal and barbados wants to turn its beaches adjacent to the crystal blew water into your new outdoor office. The caribbean country is going o introa does a 12 month barbados Welcome Stamp Program which would allow visitors from overseas to stay for an entire year. And work remotely. Barbados officials are hoping it could help jump start the islands economy. Trevor okay barbados, this sounds luke a pretty awesome deal. And there is no much ka. I mean st not like barbados is an island or something and you have to get in an uber to get in an airport to get on an airplane and maybe catch coronavirus ten times before you even set foot on the beach. Im not going to lie, this is tempting but getting to barbados could be risky. You know, im just going to have to move to bar bod baf baddous unsued my heart. Now on the other hand, maybe this is the perfect idea. Because if corona does get worse, and are you in the caribbean, hearing that music on the steel drums is abouting it make things sound better because st impossible to be sad when a steel drum is played. Even dr. Fauci is warning would sound happier with a steel drum in the background. Its a very difficult situation as was predicted. This is going to get worse before it gets better for sure. Thats right, guys, were all going to die. And finally, the coronavirus pandemic has been especially difficult for the worlds authoritarian dictator, they have to fight a very real disease while also pretending that nothing in their country is ever wrong. But the Central Asian dictator ship of turkmenistan has found a solution. As serious as the Global Situation is, one country claims to have covid19 completely under control. Former soviet republic turkmenistan sits right beside iran which has reported more than 260,000 infections. But turkmenistan says it has 0 cases. Pretty unbelievable. Yeah, a week after a visit from the world health organization, the authoritarian government has now strongly recommended its people wear masks. But the reason given, to protect them from dust. Trevor hmmmm, i feel like we dont really have the full story of what is happening in turkmenistan because this sounds like the family who sends out a christmas newsletter talking about how perfect everyones lives are and at the very end they casually mention that bobby has been granted parole, what . Honestly, i think that this dust excuse is actually more embarrassing than just saying you have coronavirus. Dont worry, we dont have disease here. We just have very Dusty Country because we dont own a vacuum cleaner. Trevor but if you think this dust is just as ridiculous, wait until you see the Public Service announcements released by turkmenistans health ministry. Greetings from the Turkmenistan Health department. Now that you are all Wearing Masks to protect yourselves from our very noncontagious turkmenistan dust, here are some other tips for staying safe in our very healthy country where there is no coronavirus at feetl times. To properly admire the beauty of the turkmenistan people. All nonessential businesses will be closed indefinitely. Because our glorious people deserve a vacation. Vacation must be taken upside your home. If you experience deficit breathing, go to the hospital immediately. So doctors can assure you that your breathing just fine. But in luke a new special turkmenistan way. And finally, if you see anyone coughing, just give them a smile. And report them to the ministry of noncoronavirus affairs. Stay safe, but theres no reason to. Trevor ha ha, we totally made that sidio. Dont go away, because after the break well be talking with an er doctor who has a close up view. Covid pandemic. And then i will catch up with paton oswalt. 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Changing the lives of dogs like jack, and the families who adopt them. Subaru. More than a car company. Social distancing show. Earlier today i spoke with Emergency Room Physician michele harp ir. We talked about being be o the front lines of the coronavirus pandemic. And her new memoir, the beauty in breaking. Dr. Harper, welcome to the daily social distancing show. Thank you, it is a pleasure to be here. Lets tart start with congratulating you on your success. Are you not just dr. Harper but dr. Harper New York Times best selling author, how does it feel . It feels amazing, it is surreal, im still getting used to it, but its lovely. Thank you. Trevor i think what i appreciate about it the most is the fact that its not just that you are a best selling author, that it is a book that deserves to be read. Tell me a little bit about what it has been like being a doctor on the front lines of the worst pandemic arguably that humankind has ever seen. And so im in new jersey, that is where i practice clinically. So it has been a little bit of a roller coaster. I mean six weeks ago maybe it was what we are seeing where there is a del uge of patients. We dont have enough equipment. We still dont have enough equipment. We dont have enough staff, people are people were getting sick. It was not only us getting sick and the patients getting sick but i was taking care of Healthcare Providers from my region and other regions like the technician who came in. And he kept apologizing because he was feeling terrible. He couldnt breathe, his resting heart rate was high, his resting oxygen was low and he is apologizing because his phone is blowing up because his boss is calling him telling him to get back to work. They know he is sick. They are all getting sick, they dont know what to do because they cant staff the unit and he cant go back, so that is what we went through. And now there is a little bit of a lull thank goodness in the northeast. But were bracing. Because we see what is going on. We all feel it will come back. Trevor another thing that really opened my eyes has been your writing, not just in the book but in the posts that you have put out. About the effect on Health Care Workers. And one thing i found really interesting was where you said a lot of us, meaning Health Care Workers dont know if we will come back to this profession once this is all done. Tell me why there is that sentiments in a lot of the medical community because im seeing this from many Health Care Workers, i dont know if i want to be a part of this. Why, other than the coronavirus itself, what is driving this feeling in is a lot of stress and when i mention that we feel were treated as por disposable than our equipment, that say real thing t is a strange thing to be called a hero. Yet i dont believe heros are put in a position where they dont have the equipment that they need. When they dont have the staffing, the departments that they need, when their hours are being cut, their pay is being cut because in America Health care is for the most part lake any other private industry. And its based on profit for a few. Thats very de moralizing and those are the conditions were working in. And then of course i work with many people who have families. I know many Healthcare Providers, many Healthcare Providers who dont go home. Theyre staying in hotels. Theyre staying with a single friend where they can be in a basement apartment. Their whole lives are being turned upside down in the midst of this. Trevor you also talk extensively about the disparity between hospitals in underserved communities, in poorer communities and communities of color versus hospitals in wealthier or affluent neighborhoods. Thats been difficult for some people to understand. Because have i seen newspapers or people who choose and they go ive been to this hospital, everything seems fine. And yet there are Healthcare Providers saying yes, because the load is being unfairly born by certain communities where there is a disproportionate amount of people getting extremely sick from this disease. What is it like working in a Community Hospital or hospital in a community where people do not have the means and the hospital doesnt have means. What st like is heartbreaking. I mean i personally prefer to work in communities that are inner city largely black and brown and lower resourced financially. Because i go where the need is. And so what i am seeing is that the people being most affectedded are the essential workers. And we know that in these communities essential workers are the people who are working in mail delivery, store clerks. These are people who cant not work. We need them to be working and they cant afford to not work. They dont have the kind of job that they can perform from home. So theyre greatest risk of infection, greatest risk of abuse. I mean i took care of a young woman maybe around 18 years old, 19 years old who came in, because she didnt know if she wanted to live any more. She already was pretty isolated. Didnt have any support from family or friends. Now in further isolation from coronavirus, working in a job where the customers coming in were abusive to her. Where she was being harassed by her boss and she didnt know where else to go. She needed someone to talk to. And i listened to her and i told her that what she is feeling is real and were all feeling itment and i asked her if there was anything else we could do for her, if she felt like she needed to stay in the hospital. And she said i just needed someone to talk to. There is no one to talk to. And you listen to me. And i feel like i can go on. And she was well, thank goodness but im seeing a lot of that ver us the mail delivery person who wasnt well and his whole department wasnt well and he was admitted to an intensive care unit. So those are the burdens im seeing. The burden of not having access to regular care. Not having benefits, not having pay and being forced to work under these stressful circumstances with long hours. You know, they are not Healthcare Providers. They didnt sign up for this, they dont have the same training we do. And they dont have any equipment at all. So that is what i am seeing. I also want to mention that of course im seeing nursing home patients being affected more. But also the prisoners and this is particularly heinous to me because they cant make their own decisions. They cant say guess what, today i want to go to the emergency departmentment and i have seen so many of them, when they come in and they cant breathe and they are just about to be intubated or maybe we can stave it off with other therapies, and they are terrified. And many of them were young and healthy. And they tell me over and over again how they wanted to come in, but they were told in the prison they had to wait, when they got around to it, when the next vehicle was ready to take them and it could be days. So those are some of the disparities that covid is really laying bare for us all to reckon with. Trevor well, i will tell you this book, if i could wave a magic wand, everyone would read your book, especially people who dont think this is real or dont take it as seriously as they should. Thank you so much for your time. And thank you for the work that you are doing in the hospital every single day. Thank you, it is a pleasure being here. Trevor pleasure was mine, thank you, dr. Harper. After the break i will be speaking to the one and only patton oswalt, you dont want to miss will it. Welcome back to the daily social distancing show. My next guest is the legendary comedian and actor patton oswalt, we talked about his latest project, the hbo docko series about the Golden State Killer called ill be gone in the dark. Which is based on the investigative work and book by his late wife michelle mcnamara. Check it out. What drives me is the need to put a face on a known killer. And what i love is this intersection for technology and crime solving in that people can get wheeled out of their house for something they did in 1957, because of the internet, because of df, a. I really get off on that. Trevor patton oswalt, welcome to the daily social distancing show. Trevor noah thank you for having me on from afar. Before we get into the docuseries and really one of the most Amazing Stories ever told, how are you . How are you doing because you are a parent. Are you homeschooling . Are you living, what is happening right now . We are trying to do a combination of homeschooling and living. I think what you find out very, very quickly as a parent, no matter what you do, education is not fun. When kids they want a summer, they deserve just kind of day dreaming, nonstructured time. And when you are trying to do that sneaky lets make math fun by playing poker e oh my god im going to ruin poker for this, i want them to have a summer. I dont want to, you know, make, show tie swimming in with american history. This docuseries, its truly one of the most interesting shows i have ever watched based on one of the most interesting books that we have ever red. And honestly within of the most despicable stories that humans could ever con streu, people have credited your late wife with this work. Tell me about the docuseries, like what are you trying to do that is different for the book and what story are you trying to tell . Well, what, especially what liz garbus the director, who is an incredible documentarian, in this six part series, she is talking the stories of especially the victims and the deblghtives and expanding them. I mean michelle delves pretty deeply in the book but what liz is trying to show is the aftermath, the resilience and especially the bounceback of a lot of these victims and survivors of this killer and of this insect, basically. It really feels amazing, there is a point where they talk about how they have gone to every one of his arraignments and they just stair at him and he can not meet their gaze. He cant lift his head and look at them. And its just seeing this guy reduced in a way he never wanted to be scene, it feels like justice. And from everything have i heard from during Law Enforcement officials that im talking to, he is absolutely faking the need for the wheelchair, the being frail, hes trying to garner sympathy and people are just like stairing right at him with zero empathy and shrinking him even further. And any time victims or survivors can be afforded that opportunity, i think it is very important. You know what is really tough in society is watching stories like this but then not being terrified by these stories as if they are the norm. Because they are exceptionally horrifying but they are still exceptional in that, st not everybody. So when this show is being put together is it a story that is being told like it could happen to you or did you make a conscience effort to tell a story that is like man, st crazy that this can happen, you know, but luckily it is not happening to everybody. A couple of things that we emphasize were no, this is not happening to everyone. Zero killers are a very rare, very twisted, sad group of people but what we also, especially this is what michelle kind of focused on in her book and liz really, i thought brought into even bigger focus is there was a certain way that women and especially women who had been raped and assaulted were treated and thought of in the 70s that we have done a lot of progression on. We still have a long way to go. But when you see how a lot of them were treated, they kind of sub consciencely had it in that they were partially at fault for this. And so there is something very its very frighterning to think that in those so called liberated progressive times things were so med evil in a lot of ways. And progress was made away from it. You know, your late wife was credited with putting so many of the pieces together. Really guiding Law Enforcement and the public at large to focus on the fact that help gets this killer caught. You wrote in my opinion one of the most beautiful love letters that i have ever heard or seen from a human to another human being. Surely on a personal level delving into this work, it must make you proud, it must make you, it must bring you joy and sadness at the same time, what las this journey been like for you. I mean its a combination of you know, the sadness will never totally be gone. But it does feel really good to know that amongst all that tragedy michelle left behind dozens of of strength and resilience and adaptation, men and women that hopefully other, you know, potential crime solvers and i hope there is not a lot of them but other victims and survivors can look at as a piece of wreckage to cling on to in the storm. Yeah, it truly is one of the most amazing pieces of work ive had the chance to see and i hope everybody watches it. Congratulations to you, congratulations to the team for putting it together and of course thank you to your late wife for making this what st. Hopefully the next time i see you well be back on stage performing for human beings in person. My god, please, something. It just, listen, i dont want to blow too much smoke up your ass but after we watch the news every night, then we dvr you and my wife is like okay, a little dessert, a little relief, so just thank you. I dont know how you, you and your writers face all this madness every day and go lets put on a show but you do. So thank you, thank you. Trevor thank you very much. And i know you dont like it, but i think there say great Business Opportunity in swimming american history. You should patent that and we can make a lot of money. Trust me on this one. Lets talk about that off the air. Trevor well talk about it off the heir. Patton oswalt, thank you so much, my friend. Thank you, trevor, huai. Trevor thank you so much, patton, that is our show for tonight, but before we go america is facing a nationwide poll worker shortage because most poll workers are over 60 and covid is still in the air so understandably they are not showing up. But fewer poll workers mean fewer polling stations are open and it means longer lines and not everyone can afford to stay an wait in those long long lines especially in communities of color. The good news is most poll working pays and in some states you can be as young as 60 to do it. So if you are interested, and you have the time, this is your chance to protect democracy and get paid. Sign up at the link below to learn more. Until next week, stay safe out there, and remember, if i ask you for money on social media, send it to me, no, im joking, im joking, i will never ask you for money on social media, i will ask you in earn approximate, now here it is, your moment of zen. So shower head, take a shower, the water doesnt come out. You want to wash your hands, the water doesnt come out. So what do you do . You just stand there longer, you take a shower longer. Dishwashers, you didnt have any water so the feel that do the dishes, you press it and it goes again. And you do it again and again. And most places of the country, water is not a problem. They dont know what to do with it. It. Its called rain. Captioning made possible by Comedy Central im going down to south park gonna have myself a time both Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation im going down to south park gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting howdy neighbor headin on up to south park gonna see if i cant unwind [muffled] come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine