Kind of give them a social interaction so theyre getting their food but theyre also getting, you know, that camaraderie or whatever from a person. Trevor oh, hell, yeah a drivethrough strip club now ive truly seen it all. This is what coronavirus has basically done to society. People are going to strip clubs for the food do you know what i hope . I hope they have the deejay still working as part of that strip club. Coming to the stage right now, shes hot and juicy, rotisserie chicken you know, when you think about it, the whole world is basically living with strip club rules right now. Yeah, no touching and you should probably wash your hands every ten seconds. Finally, some news about the search for a coronavirus cure thats very exciting and also adorable. A lama by the name of winter could be key to finding a cure to the coronavirus. U. S. And belgian Scientists Say they have identified a tiny particle in the lama that appears to block the virus and they aim to roll out human trials later this year. Trevor im sorry are, guys, this is just amazing. Lamas . Might have the antibodies we need to defeat covid 19. I think i need someone to explain to me how science actually works. How did this come about . Were scientists just sitting around, like, mike, i need you to test the virus. Peter, see ifing you find out anything on the antibodies. Anything comes up. But i guess, once again, this proves why we need to let more lamas into medical school. If this lama can cure corona without training, guess what it can do after it reads some boofntle if the human trial is successful we might have a cure if theyre not successful, we might have our first human lama superhero i will say the news will probably raise the bar for app lot of pets. People are looking at their cats at home like this lama is out there curing diseases. What have you done lately mr. Whiskers . This research is still preliminary and we dont know if it will work but apparently some Big Pharma Companies arent waiting to find out. The coronavirus pandemic has touched us all, but now theres hope. With llamanol, the first prescription lama. We sent you a lama and you maybe lick it or just hang around with it. We dont think you have to eat it but were not sure. We cant just rush this to market. Side effects may include lama spit, lamas eating your lawn, lama die rearia, lama getting wool everywhere but becoming a tiger fink for lamat. Tell us if it works. Trevor count me in thats it for todays sunshine. Now the headlines. Lets kick it off with the Supreme Court. The highest court in the land and the court with the most overhype robes. The Appeals Court has basically the same robes, same quality, style, just not the logo. So much cheaper. The supremes heard arguments on important issues this week like whether Health Insurance has to cover Birth Control and whether robo calls are protexed as free speech. If you ask me, robo calls should not be protected. Theyre unsolicited dick picks for your ears. You never asked for it and youre never interested in the product. Thats for the Supreme Court to decide though not in the court. The justices are working at home for the first time ever. Theyre holding Supreme Court hearings over the phone. Turns out that conducting Court Business by Conference Call isnt going as planned. Well, it was an awkward moment during the first ever Supreme Court arguments held by phone. At one point during the hearing something unexpected was heard as a lawyer was speaking. Lissen closely. And i changed the laws identified to banks. What the fcc said is flushing when the subject matter call is range of top topics, its transformed. What was the source of the flush . The lawyer did not seem phased. He just kept making his argument. Oh, this is so embarrassing. One of the justices forgot to mute while going to the bathroom or as they call it dropping a verdict. Follow the rhyme, if its yellow, let it melo. If youre on a call with ruth bared, flush it later. You should feel bad for the courtroom sketch artist who had to watch it all. Lets move on to nurses, the front line heroes of the pandemic and the only people you thank when they stab you. Yesterday, some of them got to visit the oval office for a president ial reception that quickly turned exactly how you would expect. Yesterday was National Nurses day. President trump honored the frontline workers at the white house with you had an awkward moment with one nurse from louisiana who said access to supplies has been sporadic. So p. P. E. Has been sporadic but its been manageable, and we do what we have to do. Were nurses and we learn to adopt and adapt and do the best thing we can do for our patients to get the job done and get the care provided and thats what well continue to do as covid 19 continues. Sporadic for you but not sporadic for a lot of other people. Oh, no, i agree, mr. President. Because ive heard p opposite. Ive heard theyre loaded up with gowns now and trevor only donald trump would dismiss the concerns of a frontline nurse at a reception to celebrate National Nurses day. If donald trump was a 911 operator, that would be a disaster. Hello, 911 . My house, its being robbed well, ive heard a lot of houses arent being robbed. In fact, most people have told me their houses are not being robbed right now. What . Sir, i wasnt blaming you. I mean you called me out of nowhere and started complaining. It sure feels personal, so personal. And you can tell trump took it personally because donald trump has the least subtle body language of anybody on earth. I mean, look at him sulking like a toddler. National numberses day was supposed to be my day and i really feel bad for that nurse because you can see she did not expect to be attacked by the president just for telling truth. Someone should have told her you dont disagree with trump until you leave the white house and have a book to sell. All right, thats it for the headlines. After the break. Were going to find out how exroafs might get you into the college of your dreams. So stick around. Well be right back. Keep it clean with the roomba robot vacuum. Only roomba uses 2 multisurface rubber brushes to clean all your floors. And with patented dirt detect technology, roomba finds dirt throughout your home. If its not from irobot, its not a roomba. Crispety. Crunchety. Peanut buttery. The irresistible oneofakind butterfinger. Nobody lays a finger on my butterfinger. The daily distancing show. You know, usually, when we talk about coronavirus, we focus on the lives lost, the economy and jobs. But the truth is this pandemic is changing our world in a million different ways, and one of those ways is how Higher Education is functioning. Well learn all about that in our new segment college in the time of corona. Trevor in normal times, college is one of the greatest periods in a Young Persons life. You make your closest friends, you soak up exciting new ideas, you have your athletic abilities financially exploited, but all that changed this year when covid 19 hit and campuses across the country shut down like this snaps sudden closure of College Campuses across the country over the coronavirus sent millions of students home early. These students barely had any time to pack up their things and leave. A lot of folks said that they had to leave their longings on campus. I got a call on sunday sort of saying its time to go. So i didnt really have time to say goodbye to anyone. We didnt have any boxes. We were throwing things in garbage bags and trying to drag them down the hall. Trevor man, that has got to suck so much. Can you imagine . One thing youre in school and the next thing your stuff is in trash bags and youre on the street. The last person who had to leave college that quickly was aunt beckys daughter. Having your university shut down so quickly is not normal. Except at trump university. Okay, class, today well learn about Business Finance and the most important thing you want siren oh, shit a cop got to go but even though students are no longer at school, theyre supposed to be going to class. Students are quickly confronted with the reality that Online Learning is a little different than the real thing. College classes that once looked like this now look like this. Students say they miss interacting with professors and campus resources such as libraries and study groups are gone. Students claim online instruction is far below the classroom experience. They suck, literally they suck. Were now obligated to spend about half of our day zooming our teachers. If youre in, like, a 200 personlecture and one person forgets to mute themselves, thats kay yog. Some getting zoom bombed, in this class by a clown. During a Remote Learning class, a university of miami, florida instructor shared a screen with the students. The main page have that days lessons, but eagleeyed students spotted the words Busty College girl at the top of his screen. Yeah, during a college zoom lecture, the students noticed their lecturer sharing his screen had a tab open for Busty College girl, and that is so embarrassing. I mean, who still uses the word busty . What, are you searching for porn in the 1920s . Looking for busty flapper gals now, to be fair, we might not know the whole story, right . Because tabs get cut off all the time on a computer. Maybe that browsing tab says Busty College girl but when you see the full web site name its actually how to respect and act appropriately around Busty College girls. We dont know. We know. But, yeah, students are quickly learning that Online College is just not as good as the real thing. Its kind of like how Online Gambling is not like the real thing. Yeah, you can lose your money but if someones not there to break your legs, whats the point . Heres the other thing about online classes, even if they go well, classes arent the only important thing about going to college. Students and families pay huge tuitions because they want the entire college experience. And now that theyre not getting it, they want some of that money back. Protesters are taking aim at colleges and universities. Students picketing schools saying theyre not getting what they paid for. They filed class action lawsuits commanding partial tuition refunds. One claims Online Learning is subpar in practically every aspect. We have to pay 55,000 for the same basically the same thing you could find on a web site for 50. Trevor i get it. Imagine paying for yale but now youre getting university of phoenix. Its like buying a ticket to seeing a movie starring tom cruse and its ruse. These students wont get their money back when the professors can afford elbow patches on their jackets . Why are they protecting their elbows . Theyre not rollerblading . And because of Coronavirus College has become much less appealing. And because enrollments have dropped so much for next year, colleges have gotten so desperate that theyre willing to accept students that they never would have previously even considered, which mean shits going to get really interesting next semester. My son got into harvard because he got perfect s. A. T. Scores. My son got into harvard from a groupon. May is here and this school wreer is coming to an end. While the class of 2020 might not have gotten everything they wanted out of a semester, theyre finding innovative ways to make Graduation Day as special as possible. Fred johnson went to Ohio State University but the school didnt hold commencement, so johnson walked across his familys living room instead. One Business School in japan getting creative. The grad weight students take a virtual baulkwalk across the stage as robot avenue attars. Students holding their commencements on games. University of berkeley getting creative. We are recreating the entire uc Berkeley Campus to host the ceremony. It will be open to explore campus, relive memories and take photos. Im imagining the entire campuswide party. applause trevor bravo. These kids recreated their entire campus in a mind craft video game just so they could get together for one last hoorah. Reminds me when i spent a semester studying abroad in the mushroom kingdom. Young love. speaking french if youre not lucky enough to have gone to a school thats figured out how to throw a commentsment inside a video game, you can still have a kick ass graduation because celebrities are doing virtual commencement addresses for the entire class of 2020. Like oprah is doing one with help from simone biles, lil nas x and miley cyrus. President obama, hes giving one with lebron change and malala. Yeah, thats super cool. Though tricky to watch an obama speech over zoom because you will never know if hes buffering or just pausing for effect. And to all the young kids out there uh you got to uh mom restart the router. Follow your dreams. Never mind im not going to lie. These virtual commencement addresses seem like a cool idea. We at the daily show thought we would share our own inspirational message for the class of 2020. Trevor well, class of 2020, here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Trevor at home. At home. At home. At home. Im stuck in a hotel room in bulgaria. And i know this wasnt the graduation you were expecting. You thought you would be with your fellow graduates on the campus lawn hung over from the day before figuringite out how to break up can your old boyfriend who wants to follow you to the big city. Instead were on our living room furniture. Trevor i know you were worried this pandemic might stop you from reach you can dreams. I want you to know, even without this pandemic, no one reaches their dreams. Nobody. Most people end up doing a job they dont hate until they retire. Just life. You think my dream was to work on this show . I wanted to be an astronaut. I wanted to be a dancer. I wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to not live in a hotel room in bulgaria. The concierge is a horse. And. Trevor and the fact is the story of your life is still being written. This is just one chapter in your life, a life that will no doubt be filled with many other pandemics. But, remember, you have so much to look forward to. Like the year 2025. I think this shit will die down by then. And once this is all over, your class will make a huge difference in the world. Statistically speaking, 10 of you will go on to lead companies. The rest of you will probably murder someone. Great things await you. Until then, use this time to travel. Go on an adventure to, like, i dont know the other side of the hotel room. Explore the really far corners of your backyard. I heard somebodys buried there . Visit the at tick of your the attic of your house. Find your moms old journal who says your dad wasnt her first choice but she settled for him because eye doctors made great money and she would learn to love his nipple hair. As you go out into the world, remember all the teampeople who touched you along the way because those are probably the assholes spreading this virus. Why are they going around touching everybody . Let me tell you something, if you try to touch me, im going to ~bleep . Trevor as you move forward, the most important piece of advice i can give you is this you are much stronger than you think, just like that offbrand toilet paper you found on the dark web. Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Trevor good luck. Good luck. Help me get out of this hotel. For real, call the embassy. Trevor when we come back, ill talk with the great singer sock writer jason isbell. Stick around. Sunday dinner has always been special. Its just nice to have something to look forward to. Well, break out the good plates and tell the kids to wash up, because its sunday dinner, even if it isnt sunday. We arent keeping track of days anyhow. Now through may 17, enjoy free access to the best shows and movies from favorites like hbo, showtime, starz and for the first time ever, hulu and peacock watch the show starring that guy you saw in that other thing. You know the one. Or the series this kid on reddit says is legit, punch emoji, explosion emoji. Even the one with the actor people say looks just like your boss. And maybe sounds like him too. Put your phones down. Everyones got a show to recommend. Watch the best for free. Just say watchathon into your voice remote, or download the Xfinity Stream app. With unlimited from metro and the new iphone se. Gabriel rules. Hes working hard to make sure a Family Tradition stays a tradition. Get the brandnew iphone se for less than a hundred bucks when you switch to metro. The daily distancing show. Earlier today, i spoke with grammy Award Winning musician jason isbell, and we spoke about his new album reunions and how the coronavirus is going to impact the Music Industry. Jason isbell, welcome back to the daily show. Now known as the daily distancing show. How are you, sir . Im good. All things considered, were healthy and relatively sane. Thanks for having me. Trevor coronavirus has affected everybodys lives in varying ways. For people like you, like you said, youre healthy, youve got your family and youre making do, but theres no denying that the Music Industry is going to be one of the hardest hit after this virus i mean, its going to take a long time before people can be in groups again, its going to be a while before we see large gatherings. Tell me about the Music Industry and whats happening, as a musician, as somebody whose music pays so many peoples salaries, whether people who work on the venues, on the road, what are you seeing from the Music Industry now . Nobody knows whats going to happen and we all, i think, have come to a consensus that its going to be bad. You know, for me, like, when im in the bubble of my home with my family, i can still create. Thats something that, you know, as long as i have my life, i can still find a way to make music. So that, i dont think thats dispensable in any way. But as far as making a living making music, its going to be a lot harder for people who were, you know, living show to show or paycheck to paycheck, you know. Trevor right. Its already changed with the fac that we dont sell as many copies of albums as we used to and, you know, so weve had to shift our thinking a little bit. I feel very lucky because ive gotten to a point where i had a bit of a safety net. Thats not going to hold up forever, but had it been ten years ago when i was still riding around in a van playing for a couple hundred people a night, you know, i would have to start rethinking career choices and making some hard decisions. You know, its tough. Its tough because it is dispensable. You cant eat a rock and roll record. I mean, you can, and ill probably try at some point, but its not going to help you, so its tough for us. But the thing that i try to focus on is i can still make music, and the original reason i started making music was not to make a living. So whatever happens, im going to be able to help myself be in the world by making music, and i rely on that right now more than i have since i was 15 years old and blockedlocked in my bedroom with nowhere to g go. Trevor tell me about the music youre creating. Is coronavirus inspiring everything you create or are you using coronavirus to write about Everything Else youve experienced in life . Because i feel like everyone is choosing one of the two. Some people are thinking about isolation only and then other artists are going, no, i think about everything thats not coronavirus and thats what im making music with. Well, i got lucky because i have made a career out of writing lonely folk songs, basically, and, so, now, its perfect, i just keep doing what im doing. I already was writing about sitting alone in my room and not being able to touch anyone. laughter so it just slides right in here for me. But to tell you the truth, i sit with headphones on and i play the electric guitar for about five hours a day when i get the opportunity to do that, and its just like i did when i was 12 or 13. Trevor wow. So i feel like my musicianship is getting better, and im still writing. I take notes all the time. Its not really been im somebody who needs a little bit of time, and you know, i need the moment of tranquility. I think thats the worst thing. But i needed that time after something serious happens in my life. I need to reflect ont it a while before it comes back out as a song. So i think a year from now, i might start writing about this particular time. For now, im just trying to get through it and, you know, not snap at everybody. Trevor well, luckily, your fans dont have to wait a year to hear your music because youve got a new album that is coming out. Its called reunions. Tell me a little bit about it. You know, i went through this period after i got sober a little over eight years ago, where the person that i used to be, i looked back on him with a lot of judgment and a lot of disdain, and it took me a good six and a half or seven years before i felt like i could be friends with that guy again, to where i felt like that was safe, you know, because i didnt want to forgive myself too quickly for fear of turning back into the person that i used to be. Finally, in the last couple of years, for whatever reason, i felt comfortable look back at the music i made then and the relationships i made then and the person that i was then, and, you know, revisiting that, going and sitting down and sort of having a conversation with that person and not just hating his guts, you know, because it was safer to do that. So once i started thinking of those things and those people, then a lot of memories came back, and sometimes in the form of ghosts, you know, they came back to me in a way that im more equipped now to write about than i was ten years ago when i was falling down drunk and only had a couple of hours a day when i could be productive. You know, now i can use the writing skills and the focus i have to make music that that guy wanted to make ten years ago but wasnt capable of. Trevor that adds context to the album in a whole different way. I know youve always written from a place that is way deeper than surface level, and i think i appreciate how much thought you put into the music and i think the subjects that you sing about. I know that youre in tennessee right now. As far as some oft it has reopened, which is interesting because tennessee was one of the last states to close. So are you eagerly getting back out there . I want to know as someone in tennessee if youre seeing people back out in the streets or is it hesitant approach to getting back out to life . Okay, i have a theory about a lot of the folks that are going out and just jumping right back into their normal life or whatever version of it it is available to them right now. I think a lot of people in america and everywhere, a lot of people i grew up, with a lot of people that i stillle know, they see the same things pretty much every day, they go to the same jobs, they see the same people. You know, and some people love that, some people hate it. For me, it was never really an option. I couldnt stand that idea, so i spent my life traveling and trying to experience as many new things as possible. So when i see something that ive never seen before, i recognize it as something that ive never seen before, and i try to act accordingly. If thats extra dangerous, i think, okay, ive not seen this and i know exactly whats going to happen. If its exciting or exhilarating, i think i need to enjoy this to the fullist because ive never seen this before and i might not see it again. Trevor right. I think a lot of folks make the mistake of thinking they have seen this before because they dont have a lot of experience with something they have never seen before. Theyre not in practice of experiencing new things. And that scares me. Im not going out, man. If i have to go do something, i will do it. But i would rather be thoughtful to the people i care about. I lost a friend of our family john prime, he passed away a couple of weeks ago from covid 19, and, you know, that broke our hearts. We were very close to john and to his wife and to the family. Trevor yeah. You know, if hes the only person that this virus took, that would have been enough for me to stay in the house for as long as i needed to stay in the house, if it was just john. And Everybody Knows somebody, and if you dont, you will. So, for me, its not worth it to go out there and risk it. Trevor man, i could talk to you forever, but i know youve got to get back to life. I wanted to say thank you again for taking the time today, and i cant wait to hear the music on the show. This is our first social distancing performance, so i appreciate you for being a part of it. Thank you so much, jason. Thanks for having me on. Trevor thank you, my friend. Look after yourself. One more thing, when does the album come out . Is. May 15. May 8 if you order through an independent record store in the u. S. Or canada. I gave them the benefit of moving it up one week, so hopefully people would order through their web sites and help them stay open. Trevor may 8 for independence, may 15t 15th everywhere else. Thank you, my friend. Thank you, trevor. Gohave a good day. Trevor thank you, jason. When we come back, jason will perform a new song from his new album right here. So dont go kinder bueno . Woooooow. Its crispy. Its creamy. Its not your average chocolate bar. Smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. Its kinder bueno. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete, onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv to help you get to and stay undetectable. Thats when the amount of virus is so low it cannot be measured by a lab test. Research shows people who take hiv treatment every day and get to and stay undetectable can no longer transmit hiv through sex. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre living with hiv, keep loving who you are. And ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. We ateams has given us the9 techpossibilityonse on teams. If youre living with hiv, keep loving who you are. To continue to innovate. I can bring them in, i can actually share my screen and show the xrays. We can do that in a visit like this. Were living on teams. Its as simple as that. Yoohoo, progressive shoppers. We laughed with you. Sprinkles are for winners. We surprised you. On occasion, weve probably even annoyed you. Weve done this all with one thing in mind. To help protect the things you love. And if we cant offer you the best price well help you find a better one. Its not always the lowest even if its not with us. Thats how weve done it for the past 80 years. Not just today, or this month, but always. Introducing oreida potato pay. Where oreida golden crinkles are your crispy currency to pay for bites of this. With this. When kids wont eat dinner, potato pay them to. Oreida. Win at mealtime. The daily distancing show. Now to perform only children from their barn in tennessee, please welcome jason isbell and amanda shires. One, two, three, four Walking Around at night fighting my appetite every kid in cutoffs could be you remember when we used to meet at the bottom of mobile street and do what the broken people do are you still taking notes the holy ghost could get inside you and do whatever you put your mind to will you read me what you wrote when we were locked outside the building overencouraged, only children cold coffee on the fire escape we bet it all on a demo tape when we still had something left to steal remember when we took too much to get a little of the human touch hand to mouth and reel to reel and are you still taking notes hydrocodone in your backpack maybe these words will hold the beast back and will you read me what you wrote the one i said you stole from dylan overencouraged, only. Heavens wasted on the dead thats what your mother said idling in the park lot said you thought the world would need you were glad to see they finally let me be an astronaut are you still taking notes do you have anyone to talk to the wallseaux walk through the dead leave in ghost are you lost inside a building with overencouraged only children trevor well, thats our show for tonight, but before we go, even with so much else going on in the world right now, we were once again reminded this week that all too often black lives simply dont matter. As we wait to see if justice will be served in the murder of ahmaud arbery, our condolences go out to his family and the community. As a mother, i was never worried about him jogging because as long as he stayed within the streets, i mean, no one should bother him. I just think about how they could allow these two men to actually kill my son and not be arrested. I mean, thats what i just cant seem to understand. His spirit was very humble. I raised him as a yes, maam, no, maam type of guy. [theme music playing] im taking some time off from work well, my other work, because we needed it. Its great. Its great. Phones been ringing off the hook. Guys in philly are kind of going nuts. That doesnt matter. This does. Its the only thing that matters. Weve had some really nice days together. Nice mornings, too. Beasley oh my god. Hey, which tie makes me look like a guy who likes sofas . My agent is putting me up for a furniture commercial. Ah, definitely blue. Totally, right . So, big tuna, whats up . Back in the small pond. For now, yeah, yeah. I was just spreading myself way too thin. Thin sliced tuna, carpaccio. Go on. Well, it took me a while, but i finally realized that i cant give 100 to two things at once, you know . Yeah, tell me about it. Ive been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time, i dont know if im wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup. Huh. Well, you know, you cant have everything, so youve got to ask yourself what makes you the happiest. Just go all in for whats most important. Thats my new thing. Is everything ok . No, everything is not ok. The county took my cats. Wait, all of them . Two sacks worth. Apparently, my apartment complex has rules about how many pets are too many for a studio. And while i was out picking philip up from daycare, they came. They came into my house. Thats thats awful, angela. Im so sorry. Its the [bleep] that lives downstairs. Shes this uptight, judgmental shrew. You know the type. Ive never met anyone like that. And theyre gone. And i know no one left. Without my cats i am utterly and completely alone. Angela, you still have your son. I guess. Attention everyone may i have your attention . There are four new Deadly Weapons in this office basher, thrasher, crasher and smasher smasher . No. Whered you get that . Fireball cut this morning after hours of combat with some of the citys best teenagers, i earned my black belt in goju ryu martial arts. I had to find a new dojo after sensei ira and i parted ways. My new sensei, sensei billy, thought i had more than enough training to take the test. Turns out sensei ira was a bit of a shyster. Sensei billy says most students dont spend 150,000 over 20 years to get their black belt. I would like to invite you all to my black belt ceremony right here in the office at lunch. Lunch not provided. Fireball ah thats how its done. Thats pretty good. I feel safe