Anyway, on tonights episode coronavirus is putting war on hold, Jordan Klepper gets lessons from survivalists and how quarantine is changing the we love. So lets get to it welcome to the the daily social distance show. From trevor noahs couch to in new york to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the the daily social distance show with trevor noah. Trevor if you spend all your time watching the news, you probably feel like the world is about to end. And it is, but thats no reason not to have some fun. Which is why we always remind ourselves here at the daily show to smile. In our ongoing segment, a ray of sunshine. Trevor okay, first up with people no longer able to go out to their favorite restaurants, some restaurants are helping people restaurant at home. Theyre helping people create the experience themselves. Yesterday, waffle house began selling bags of its signature waffle mix for 20, and they were completely sold out in four hours. And i think this is a great idea. In fact, i hope all fast food chains give us the ingredients to mimic the experience of eating there. They can tell us how to do it so we can do it ourselves. Like, popeyes can teach you to make their spicy chicken sandwich. Or chickfila can show you how to use pickles to hate gay people. In more good news, coronavirus is now shutting down wars. Yes saudi arabia has announced that it will stop bombing yemen, the worlds poorest country, in an effort to stop the spread of coronavirus there. And this is so inspiring right now. Saudi arabia is basically like let us Work Together to kill this virus so that we can get back to killing each other, because, otherwise, the virus wins, my friends. Do you agree . Why not just not kill us . Do you agree . Yes. Speaking of winning, back here in the United States dr. Anthony fauci, lead member of the White House Coronavirus task force and hottest doctor since mcdreamy, has announced that thanks to social distancing, extreme social distancing, the u. S. Is starting to see some glimmers of hope. And he also said the country might not reach 100,000 deaths as originally projected. This is amazing news. But he cautioned everybody to take this as a sign that official warnings have been effective, but not that they were overblown. Or, as he put it, nows not the time to pull back at all. Its a time to intensify. And i completely hear what dr. Fauci is saying. Fighting coronavirus is a lot like having sex when youre close to achieving your goal, thats not the time to pull back. Im almost there im almost there im gonna wait yare you stopping . You said you were almost there, so i figure we can go back outside. What . All right, thats enough of that. Lets catch up on the headlines. All over the world, the confirmed cases of coronavirus continue to grow day by day, with the global tally now sitting at 1. 5 million. And as this pandemic rages on, more and more countries who initially thought that they could outfox the virus are quickly realizing how wrong they were. For example, sweden was one of the only European Countries that didnt shut their population down, because, you see, their plan was to keep sick people and old people at home and allow younger and Healthy People to live their lives as usual. And it looks like that strategy isnt working. Sweden now has a higher death toll than all other scandinavian nations combined. And this is what people need to realize about the coronavirus. Ive seen people say, why dont we let some people go out. Corona virus spreading is like a secret. You can tell people not to spread a secret, but does that ever work . No. If you want a secret to stay a secret you have to lock it down. Otherwise everybody will find out you never saw black panther. Thats just an example. I have seen black panther. My favorite scene was when the black panther married the diamond king. Theres also some worrying news from singapore. The country whose early response to the pandemic has been described as the gold standard, reported a recordbreaking 142 new infections yesterday. And this is yet another reminder that we have to stay vigilant with social distancing, because now that weve got corona on the ropes, this is not the time to relax. Because if were not careful, all of us, we could end up like the first avengers. You should have gone for the head. Trevor thats right, people. Lets make sure we go for the head. You know, whenever we talk about corona virus, we always think about the lives that will be lost, the economy, and peoples jobs. But one thing we also cant ignore, is how its also going to affect peoples relationships. So for today i thought, lets change gears and focus on something a little different, in our brandnew segment love in the time of corona. Now, the corona Virus Outbreak has been amazing for ying ying and le les relationship. Yeah, because with no one around, those two panda bears have started having more sex than donald trump whenever melania is out of town. Im joke, of course. He doesnt care if shes in town or not. But it turns out, for us human panda bears, the corona virus hasnt been as beneficial for our love lives. Reporter splitting up together divorce rates spiked in china in the wake of the coronavirus, so is the u. S. Will. We are seeing a Pressure Cooker of disaster for couples. Business is booming for eleanor alter, a prominent divorce lawyer in the epicenter, new york city. People calling at all hours of the night seeking legal advice. Im getting a lot of calls about people who are in close quarters with a person that they were planning to divorce, perhaps this year, it hasnt happened yet, wondering if they can go forward with the divorce during the pandemic. Trevor yeah, coronavirus is the worst thing to happen to marriages since the invention of the pool boy. Why are you so sexy raking the leaves in the pool, pool boy . Getting divorced when you cant leave, sweet, lord, that must be the worse. Just imagine, if you live in a new york city apartment what, do you do then . Okay, fine you can have the bed, and im going to sleep in the microwave. So, yeah, because of coronavirus, drors lawyers are seeing more business than the guy selling glow sticks at coachella. If youre wondering why is this happening . Its because quarantine is showing a lot of couples that they might love each other, but they dont like each other. When it comes to the quarantine, the biggest problems couples have is just the amount of pressure that the relationship is putting on each other. Think about it. Normally, youre around your partner for maybe five hours a day awake. But now thats tripled. When we dont have as much distraction going on, we tend to hyperfocus on certain things, the Little Things that bother u part of the reason could be one in three people say they do not shower or bathe every day. And 15 of respondents say they do not get dressed out of their pajamas. He warneds in the house and continues to talk to me when im on the phone. You cant be in your bath robe, and those the are the things, the Little Things i have to be aware of, because want camera covers the whole space. Trevor i really people bad for this think. Think about it, her husband is Walking Around in a bath robe while shes working on skype. Imagine youre talking to your boss, and your husband walks in shirtless, covered in cheetos. Honey, do you have a towel . My boss is here im sorry. Mr. Boss, do you have a towel. The cheetos get everywhere. Just because you committed your life to someone, doesnt mean you want to be committed 24 ver. I think marriage vows need to be updated. Do you take this man to have and to hold but, for, like an hour in the morning and maybe three hours at night when you watch tv. Now, dont get it twisted. Coronavirus isnt breakings up every couple. There are many lovebirds out there who are taking the initiative and turning quarantine time into quality time. You may be stuck at home, but that doesnt mean date night is cancels. One couple used their free time to recreate the iconic final dance from dirty dancing. The jones family suesed to being creative, turning famous paintings into works of art, quarantine style. Grant recreated date nights around the house, a casino, sports bar, bowling with paimp towel pins in their living room. I think my favorite part of the date was the dance club, which was our bathroom, which we went in there, he had the music blaring and turned the lights on and off. Trevor that guy, that guy deserves all the brownie points in the world world. He made a full nightclub in his bathroom for his woman . Wow thats love and this thing was super realistic. He even charged her 18 for a vodka cranberry and then stole her purse when she got drunk. That is commitment. So, is coronavirus good or bad for your relationship . Well, in my opinion, it just reveals what your relationship already is. I know its tough to be stuck inside with someone all the time, but this is reality for a bit. So my advice is try and make the best of it. Im not just saying this. That is something that ive done, and i think its worked out. You know what, baby . Times may be tough, but we have wine, we have each other, and thats all we need. Kill me. Cheers to that. choking ahhh you can say that again. For a while now, weve been sending Jordan Klepper on the road to cover the president ial election in a segment we call Jordan Klepper fingers the pulse. But with the coronavirus, Jordan Klepper is locked up at home, along with the rest of us. Thats not stopping him. So for now, hes going to be looking at the people who plan for exactly these kinds of conditions in his new segment, surviving and thriving with Jordan Klepper. I should be out fingering the pulse. Instead, im in focused on surviving and thriving in my onebedroom apartment. But while im sheltered in place like a boss, am i prepared for things like tomorrow or god forbid next week. Luckily i found a place thats entirely focused on preparation, fortitude ranch. It has everything from selfsufficient farming to solarpowered luxury bunkers and weaponized gazebos that are there to stop ma rawders. I reached out to operator Stephen Renee to learn more. Stephen, how are you . Im doing great, thanks. Im not super big on prep. Ive got to be honest eye dont think about getting a dinner reservation until morning of, and then its a pain in the ass. Luckily i know some people at the neta tavern so im okay. Can you show me what youve got . Sure. Let me show you some of the facilities, jordan. This is the bunker three feet underground with eightinch, reinforced concrete. This is where we have all different rooms. Does nobody want to paint the wood . As you come over here, you can see that we have restrooms. For a family, theres a bunk bed that turns into a couch. What kind what kind of thread count do you have going on, on that bed . I couldnt tell you exactly. But i could get back to you in an email with that information, if youd like. That would be helpful. Here you can see an example of some that shelflife food. So thats freezedried food. Wow. Thats a lot of beans. Heres a different variant for a room wood stove working over here. So this is more set up for a couple. They better really like each other. Right now, it definitely looks like something in a truecrime netflix series. Life is going to change, right . If youre going to show me yours, i should show you mine. The place where were living, specifically. Ah, i get you. Yeah, yeah, do you want to see any kind of advice you have how to turn this into a hardened situation. I have a decent amount of records here jazz, blues, garage rock, for sure. Foodwise, lets see, ive got some sprouted chili verde rice. Some bombay potatoes. A lot of indian food. Hopefully, that keeps. Well see. So, steven, i have a decent liquor cabinet over here. Definitely enough for a good weeks worth of nagronies. I dont think that thats really going to help you too much in a real serious situation. If it gets real serious, im just going to go straight gin. That may make you feel better for a limited amount of time, but im not sure in the long term it is going to do you much good. Maybe hes right. Since fortitude ranch says theyre expanding to 12 undisclosed locations around america, i want in. Get me goats, tree houses, plywood everything. And digestive problem fairs year straight. Where i do sign up . Well, unfortunately, youre a day late and a dollar short. Were all full. I think were dwelling too much on the past. Lets talk about the future. I would be a real asset at fortitude ranch. I was an improv teacher. I taught sketch comedy. I once took a drunk painting class. You know, were looking for people who are more interested than in being an assert than they are for comic relief. Well, im not saying its all going to be comic. I mean, a lot of the insightiz have, inherently, are not funny. At this point were dull tullely down to a waiting list. Fine who needs you anyway. Ill stay here with what the guy on canal street told me is 1,000 thread count egyptian cotton. Noon. Trevor thank you, so much, jordan. Youre looking good locked up. When we come back, ill be speaking to darren walker, president of the Ford Foundation and well be talking about the impact of coronavirus on americas prison so dont go away. Uhoh. No wifi at your inlaws house . Its switching time. And now its netflix time. Watch netflix offline. Switch to chromebook. But what if we told you its recipe is over 100 years old . Created in mexico by a german brewmaster. Its not just any beer now, is it . Dos equis. A most interesting beer. Trevor welcome back to the daily social distancing show. Earlier today, i spoke with president of the Ford Foundation darren walker. And we talked about how coronavirus is spreading through americas prisons and how he think america can address it. Check it out. Mr. Walker, thank you so much for joining us on the the daily social distance show. Happy to be with you, trevor. Trevor lets get straight to the matter at hand. You are fighting for an issue that has been raised by a few and ignored by many, the issue of people who are locked up in prison right now, and may be about to experience some of the worst effects of the coronavirus. Tell me why you think this is such a big issue, and what do you think needs to be done . Well, first, the foundational fact that really is at the core of the issue, and that is that the United States incarcerates more people than any nation on the planet. 2. 3 million americans are behind bars. 6. 7 million americans are ensnared in some way in the justice system. Those people are living in some ways on a cruise ship, a cruise ship that is destined to be a life sentence for many people, people who are simply there because they couldnt post bail, because they had a technical violation, like the gentleman who died this week at Rikers Island, the notorious Rikers Island here in new york city, the county jail, where a 53yearold black man died. He was there for a technical violation. That means he missed a meeting with his parole officer, or he broke curfew. That is not a reason to be sentenced to death. Trevor i think everyone would agree, or you would hope most people would agree. The question would come, though, from many people who would say, what can be done . You know, you have these prisoners who are locked up. You have people who are in the prison system in some way, shape, or form. But what would you propose gets done in the situation . Well, there are actions that governors can take. And in fact, were seeing actions. Our governor here in new york state, governor cuomo, released 1,100 people from rikers. Governor pritzker in illinois. Governor napolis in colorado. Governor newsom in california have all taken aggressive steps to release people. We can release elderly people. There are tens of thousands of people behind bars who are elderly and infirm. There are people who are within six months of their date of release. Why not accelerate the release of these people and make it possible for them to not be subjected to this virus, which in many ways is a heatseeking disease for black and brown people. Because it metastasizes around the very conditions that our community is victims to. That is, the condition of chronic disease, hypertension, asthma, high blood pressure, obesity. And this disease is like a heatseeking disease, a virus that finds these populations and ultimately kills. Trevor heres the question to play devils advocate, that many people would ask. They would say, i understand that you dont want anyone to die from this, but how do you convince the population at large that people who have been locked up for maybe committing a crime, as opposed to a technical violation, should be allowed out . You know, is this not endangering the public at large . How would you respond to that . Theres tons of research. This is an issue that has been debunked. And so its not about public safety. There are literally thousands of people incarcerated for lowlevel crimes. They can be released, and it is in no way a challenge for public safety. Trevor obviously, this is an issue that is being amplified by the coronavirus. But it feels like the coronavirus is exposing issues that have long laid dormant or even alive within america itself. After the coronavirus has gone, once life returns to normal, i know that you have oftentimes been call upon by leaders, such as joe biden, to give your opinion and to try and help, you know, shape policy. What do you think America Needs to do moving forward to try and prevent the prison system from experiencing what its experiencing today, and what it was experiencing before the coronavirus hit . We simply need to look at our history. At the time of every crisis. Lets just look atica trina. Katrina exposed the inequality in our society that is manifest in race and racism and americas racist history. We didnt learn the lessons there. Were, once again, being presented with a National Emergency that exposes the core issue of inequality and race. And the question is are we going to learn the lesson this time . Let us note forget that philanthropy cannot take the place of government. All of the giving in this country combined in the aggregate in one year is less than the smallest government, federal government agency. And so while i am very proud and we should celebrate the generosity of americans we also need competent government, competent government, and generous philanthropy can do great things. Trevor thank you so much for taking the time today. Im hoping that your words are heard by the people in power and will continue to get the message out. Thank you, trevor. Trevor thank you so much. Thank you so much for your time, darren. Thats our show for today. Before we go, as america reaches peak corona infections, remember our doctors, nurses, and First Responders need our help. So please go to thrive globals First Responders first and donate whatever you can to help them get the masks, gloves, and gowns that they need to save lives. And if you want to help in new york city specifically, then you can go to the new york mayors fund, covid 19 response and donate there. Stay safe out there. Remember to wash your hands. And you know those voices in your head . In your head . Well, maybe nows the time to hear them out. All right, ill see you again next week. First here it is, your moment of zen. Simply stop moving. If you do not have the type of bread you like in your house, it crackles. If you do not have bread, eat cereal, eat oats, sardine. Youre supposed to have a twoweek supply for a hurricane, and at the beginning of this, i said prepare your disaster kit as if you would for a hurricane hello, my names oscar. Im an accountant in scranton, pennsylvania. And im gay. And im here to tell you that, yes, it does get better. When i was younger what . Whats he doing . Hes searching out younger gays. Oh. No, its just a way to tell young people, no matter how hard it gets for them, theres a Brighter Future ahead. With you no matter how hard it gets for you kelly, seriously, i just keep chatting. Im just checking my makeup on your webcam. Do you not own a mirror . Webcams make me look the way i look in my fantasies. I know, right . What is it . You always look so good in those things . Im throwing out all my mirrors. Ok, as you can see, i now have a cool job at a dynamic workplace. Being gay is a celebration of life. Its a simple im sorry. I just cant sit idly by and have the gay youth of america misled by some reductionist im not misleading. Pep talk. Sexuality is a spectrum. Its a paradox to think of any Sexual Activity as normal. It gets better, but it also gets vastly more complicated. Hey, robert, that guy, he looks just like you. Ouch, damn it kevin, god you ok, robert . Fine. Put some ice on it. In any case, it gets better. Maybe not much better, but better. It hurts [theme music] one, two, three i wanted to give a nice gift to the tenants in the building. At first, i thought muffin basket. Then i thought whats even more precious to people than muffins . Can you just smile, please . I dont want to their own children. Hey, everybody. Just a few hours left for the free family portrait studio. Darryl, wed love to see little jada come by. Angela, why dont you bring by your little angel . No, thank you. Jim, youve got those two cute kids. We sure would love to see em. I know why youre doing this, dwight. Last week, i may have gone too far. Ill explain it quickly. Basically, i found out where he gets his clothes dry cleaned, custom ordered the same suit made with tearaway velcro, and you can fill in the rest. What . [chuckling] damn it, jim