Joined by the star of the new show dave, lil dicky is here. Also on tonights episode, Bernie Sanders isnt going anywhere. Toilet paper could get you killed and joe biden is sick of your shit. So lets catch up on todays headlines. All right, so look, normally we would catch up on all of the headlines from around the world. You know, maybe we what talk about Harvey Weinstein getting 23 areas in prison. cheers and applause we can talk about the Supreme Court for giving President Trump a victory on immigration. But today theres only onestory the entire world is talking about, the coronavirus, aka covid19, aka mum bo number death. laughter it is now in 110 countries with over 122,000 confirmed cases and it it looks like its only getting worse. The World Health Organization told officially designating coronavirus as a global pan demic. Congress inhouse doctor told capitol hill staffers at a closed door meeting he expects 75 to 150 Million People in the United States to contract the coronavirus. New tests lead by the u. S. Government Scientists Show the virus can live in the air for several hours and on some surfaces for up to three days. Oh, okay, that is a lot of information so lets try and break it all down. First, the World Health Organization has officially just declared coronavirus a global pan demic. Which yes, is scary for us humans but from coronas perspective, its pretty cool. Yeah, because for a virus this is like going platinum, you know. It is a big day, started from the wuhan, now were here. I think its pretty cool for corona. And yes im saying that because i hope if i suck up to consider owna it will leave me alone. I am not sure if it will work but i will try it. The second piece of information is more disconcerting. Congress inhouse doctor says up to 150 Million People in the United States could end up getting corona. Yeah, that is half the country. The other half wont get it because theyre clearly loser was dont have friends. Yeah, it is going to be like how do you not have corona, has nobody touched you . I would rather be dead. And the third point might be the most scary. Were learning that this coronavirus can stay on some surfaces for up to three days. Yeah. Although in new york it doesnt stay as long because it cant afford the rent. That is the good news. The housing crisis is real. Now in some surfaces like cardboard apparently corona can only survive for a day if it is cardboard but on harder surfaces like glass it can survive for much longer, so like your cell phone, that could be a problem. Yeah, my advice, clear your browsing history. Yeah, i mean you might still get corona but at least the doctors wont see all the freaky shit you have been serving on your phone, is this your emergency contact, what the hell . I know were all scared but st important to keep a clear head, panic is not going to help anything. Were still learning about this. Were still learning about the mortality rate. Pan i believe panic does not help. Right now some people are letting their panic mack them dumb as shit. The impact of the coronavirus being felt across from the country affecting air travel, schools and what son store shelves or not on store shelves. Some retailers seeing a run on many of the bakes. A crazy scene at a Grocery Store where toilet paper has been in high demand. Surveillance video shows a stampede of customers clearing the shelves. Fights over toilet paper breaking out in Grocery Stores as shelves run empty. Get off me. People, what are you doing . I really dont understand what people you do not need to panic over toilet paper. Water, i would understand, right, food, medicine, yes, but you can survive without toilet paper. Dont forget you are any bathroom, how will i clean my butt in this room with a shower. I feel like people in first world countries dont know what to panic about. Toilet paper . Are you shitting me . applause its like whats next, people are being to be running around walmart like oh, warwhere is the car wax, ahhh and maybe it is because where i grew up there were times when we didnt have toilet paper, honestly when i was a kid, we always made a plan, you can newspaper, rub it together, you can use paper towels, everyone in america has a dog, push comes to shove, wipe your ass on the dog, frekels, get out here. Feel like i would rather use my hand, trevor. Look, man, just avoid panicking because if you panic you stop thinking clearly. If are you not thinking clearly, then will you start to believe anything that you hear. And there is a lot of Bad Information that is out there. The spread of coronavirus is also lead to a lot of spread of misinformation. There are more rumors going around on social media about how to avoid the coronavirus. Eating garlick drinking bleach, snorting cocaine yes and masturbation are not miracle cures for coronavirus. Trevor yes. Drinking bleach, snorting cocaine, and masturbating is not the way to cure corona. It is the way to kick off the worst Rock N Roll Party of your life, thats what that is. That is what that is. And i dont understand how anyone would fall for any of that. None of those things gets rid of the coronavirus. Bleach gets rid of stains, you cant drink it. It is not going to help you, garlic gets rid of vampires, okay. Cocaine gets rid of your money, thats it. In a way the only thing that makes sense is masturbating, okay. It wont cure you but if you stay in and do that all day you will probably have less chance of catching the virus. Yeah, you foe, if the cdc really wants people to selfquarantine, forget the pur el, they should just hand out lotion, here you go, stay home and social distance yourself, you know what i mean. All right, that is it for the headlines. Lets move on to our top story. applause the democratic primary race is down to two major candidates. The old man from up and the old captain america. And because yesterday was another big day on the path to the nomination its time to catch up on the latest developments in our ongoing segment world war d. applause yesterday democrats in six states went to the polls to cast their votes and get some coronavirus. And after a strong showing on super tuesday biden picked up right where he left off. Former Vice President joe biden expanded his lead in the democratic president ial race. Biden won in at least four of the six states which voted yesterday. He took the battleground state of michigan by double digits. Biden now leads the race by 150 delegates which significantly narrows any path to victory for senator Bernie Sanders. Looking at the math tonight i think its almost certain that Bernie Sanders does not have a mathematical path to becoming the democrat you can nominee. Lets shut this puppy down and lets move on and worry about november. This thing is decided. There is no reason to keep it going, not even a day longer. Trevor okay, okay, okay. That talking raisin needs to calm down. Yes, joe bied enhad a great night. Doesnt mean you have to shut the primary down immediately. The president ial race is not a kissing booth in the wuhan province, all right . Because look, it is true, st true that because of last nights results there have already been calls for Bernie Sanders to step aside and let the slightly Younger Generation take over. But let me tell you something, if you think a little turbulence is going to shake Bernie Sanders out of the race, you need to think again. Senator Bernie Sanders earlier today making clear he has no plans to drop out of the president ial contest. On sunday i very much look forward to the debate in arizona with my friend joe biden. And let me be very frank as to the questions that i will be asking joe. Joe, what are you going to do about the fact that we have the highest rate of childhood poverty. What are you going to do to end the terror that millions of undocumented people experience right now. What are you going to do to end the absurdity of billionaires bying elections. Joe, what are you going to do, what are you going to do. Trevor what are you going to do when they come for you. Bad boys bad boys, what are you going to do. What are you going to do, when they come for you. applause so yeah, for now Bernie Sanders is not dropping out of the race. And what was interesting is some people worried that the only reason bernie was staying was to burn the party to the ground. But after todays speech it seems like bernie wants to push bied into a more progressive platform. And i think it is really nice of bernie that he is giving biden the questions before hand. Yeah. You know, he could have made it a surprise but now is he like one of those cool teachers in school that tells you what is going to be on the test and you think they are being nice but they just dont want toee see your ass again if you get held back so that is why they are doing it, i need you to pass, okay. So it will be interesting to see bernie putting pressure on bied enin their first oneonone debate in sunday. And i will be honest, i think joe biden is ready for the fievment i say that because yesterday a video came out of biden going toe to toe with a factory worker in michigan and he was fired up. Earlier in the day in de 2r0eu9 biden had a test see. How do you intend be getting the union vote when a large portion of Union Workers are gun enthusiasts and are you trying to diminish our Second Amendment right to take away our guns. You are full of shit. Shush, shush. I support the Second Amendment. I have a shotgun. I have a 20 gage, a 12 gage, my son hunts. You need a hundred rounds. When you said were you going to take over guns. I did not say that. That is not i did not say that. There say viral video. A viral videos like the other ones they are a lie. Trevor goddam slarm wow, i cant believe joe biden got into a fight with that factory worker. Especially considering he was surrounding by all of his boys. I mean that is riky. At the same time biden knows those guys cant touch it not because of secret service but because of coronavirus. Yeah. No one is touching anyonement hold me back, no, seriously hold me back it is very important right now that we maintain social distancing. When we get a vaccine in 12 to 18 month im going to kick your ass. Until then, wash your hands. Youre mine. Now after this video came out, a lot of people even some democrats said that is the worst part of that exchange was biden telling a voter that he was full of shit. What was interesting is that that factory worker went on fox news today and what he had to say was really different. When you looked at this confrontation it lasted for a long time. What is your response about his use of profanity. You know, i am kind of used to it in the workforce. And as a politician, i can understand the way how things have gone, are you not supposed to use profanity but in this day and age, it is a language. Im not going to hate him for that. And i use it all the time. Most people use it all the time. Trevor wow. applause i was impressed by that. That factory worker still doesnt agree with biden on guns, he wasnt but i liked he wasnt going to protend to be offended by the profanity. You could see the fox news anchor wasnt expecting that an certificate, look at that face. He looks like he was expecting a surprised party and walked in on his parents having sex, that is what that face is. And maybe one of the reasons this guy wasnt offended was because when its trump or bernie or bied en, voters seem to like it when politicians talk like normal people. And i will be honestk im hoping that this straight talking youre full of shit biden becomes his new thing. Soon he will be walk into diners hey, asshole, that is a good looking pickle, which is what your mom said to me last night, heh heh heh, all right, vote for me, fat ass. Well be right back. applause by the zombies ] its the time of the season when love runs high [s x ding] i dont know about you but i got to get it out i dont know how soon [sfx chime] how much . Cinco pesos vale. Oh ok, thanks. [sfx ding] but if we die, i want to bring the whole thing too ooooooh just another world that i gotta get a grip of and hold onto [sfx chime] thanks. Ooooooh [sfx chime] [sfx ding] [sfx chime] [sfx ding] mom vo we got a subaru to give him some ato reconnect and be together. And once we did that, we realized his greatest adventure is just beginning. vo welcome to the most adventurous outback ever. The allnew subaru outback. Go where love takes you. No. Uh uh, no way. Come on. No. No. N. Ni ni, no no only discover has no annual fee on any card. Just like covered california helps you find Health Insurance you can afford. Theyre the only place you can get Financial Assistance to help pay for Health Coverage. Plus, this year, the state is providing more help than ever before. And because a new law requires californians to have Health Coverage or pay a penalty, covered california has made it easier to get financial help, but you gotta sign up by april 30th. Visit coveredca. Com or call to enroll today. Tmobile has the first and only nationwide 5g network. Experience it on a Samsung Galaxy s20 5g. Right now, when you buy one, you get one free. Plus get 2 lines of unlimited and 5g access included, for only 90 bucks a month. applause . Trevor welcome back to the daily show. As mayor of the nations largest city my first guest is responsible for helping new york city confront the coronavirus outbreak. Please welcome mayor bill de blasio. applause welcome. Welcome to the show. Welcome, virtual handshake. Very good. Trevor a new thing, virtual handshakes and wide fives. Lets jump straight into this it, this is a strange time tor people, i will speak for myself t is a very confusioning time. I dont know if i should be afraid, should not be afraid, should be more panicked, not panicked at all. Where do we stand right now from new york and then from what you know about what is happening in cities around the world. You know, Franklin Roosevelt the famous quote we have nothing to fear but fear itself. You know, there is an element of this that is fear that has been generated beyond the facts, beyond the reality. And so when you really look at coronavirus, st serious. We have to make a lot of adjustments to address it. But i worry that its becoming sort of a cause for making a bunch of decisions that actually alter all the rest of our life including in bad ways. Let me give you an example. Some people are saying close our schools am now we have a lot of evidence that this disease thank god does not really have that much of an impact on healthy children. Trevor right. When you think about folks saying close everything, close schools, when in fact the evidence says our kids are, thank god, pretty safe. And we want our kids to get an education. A lot of parents say to me our kids need the schools not just for education, it is where they get the meals. Parents without dont have any other choice where they are going to have their kids if they dont have the school. So it is thinking about the whole picture. We do have to make serious adjustments. And government has to act and people have to act. But lets not make this the false idol. Lets, you know, have an honest conversation about what sph and what it isnt. Trevor should people get tested, if i feel sick should i get tested. How does it work for people in new york and how do you think it should work scaling outward. So one day i think we will have such abundant Testing Capacity that if will be something broadly brought out into the populationment but until that i da, the focus on people with symptoms, folks who have traveled to the most affected areas. Folks in contact with someone who does have confirmed case of coronavirus, that is where you have to start. But doctors can do a very initial test, they have it right now t is not about trove, they coronavirus, they can tell if you your problem is something else. They do it all the time. It say test that tells you have all sorts of common issues, cold, flu, et cetera kind of thing. Once you know that you are stick and it is not one of those more traditional things. We want those folks to get the coronavirus test, we have a sense of priority and what we are finding is among us, we have 53 people as of today who have tested positive. A lot of them are at home. They are healthy, she are seeing it through. They are having limited symptoms. Some are in the hospital, in tough shape, some are coming out of it. It is not just one thing about i do think the idea, why dont we as a nation mobilize all our resources, get the testing truly to be all over the country where it is needed. Get people tested in a really extensive manner. Then we will know what is what and we can get people help. Listen, 80 of the people who get it have very little negative experience. It is like cold or flu in reality. For the other 20 , most of them have a tough time but they are come out okay in the end except that small percentage, god forbid and that is typically the oldest and folks really ill who may not make it. Is it hard for leaders to just say hey, are you already on deaths door, this thing will take you out or do you have to like, is that, does it make the messaging harder . Because it sometimes feel like you have to be like look, it may be that some of you, whereas i know you cant say it but it a would be gangster if you could come out and say like hey, if you are going to die, you are going to die, and corona s just like making that happen. Trevor, i really dont think you should run for public office. I agree with you. I i agree with you but i honestly, like what balance do you have to maintain as a leader in terms of being opaque versus telling people, like the president has said to people i dont think we should panic. You know, i dont know if this thing will be that bad it could go down to zero. People have criticized him for some of that. What would you say is the key difference for your messaging versus his. First the president of the u. S. Has committed i think a fundamentals sin in terms of being a leader but not saying this will take a lot of work, sacrifice, this will be with us a long time. So you know, there is something about being a leader where you dont discourage people from having faith and strength and create fear. Nor do you tell them oh, you know, just look away from the problem. It is all going to be fine, it will be done by april. You have to tell people truth and then invite them to be part of the solution that is what we are trying to do here. Trevor thank you so much for being on the show. Really appreciate it. Mayor bill de blasio, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and it all starts with an invitation. To feel connected. The invitation to lexus sales event now through march 31st. Lease the 2020 es350 for 379 a month for 36 months and well make your first months payment. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. And creamy avocado salsa made thwith real avocados. Et. Theyre good apart. But better together. Hey, martha, pass me some of that green stuff. What shes ziplining with little jon . Its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. sprdual camera system with paulultrawide on iphone 11 new paul and i love how at sprint. sprintern . 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From the day youre born we never stop taking care of you. You cant claim that because its inanimate people ask me what sort of person should become a celebrity accountant. And, i tell them, nobody should. Hey, buddy. Whats the damage . I bought it the waterfall . Nope a new volkswagen. A volkswagen . i think were having a breakthrough here welcome to caesars palace. Thank you. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back to the daily show, my next guest say rapper and viral sensation known as lil dicky. He could kroated and stars in the fxs series loosely based on his life called dave. These are my let me eagles drop. I dont care. I declare. Wow, could have used a heads up about that, a lot of guns over here. Oh. Sorry, i just noticed all the weaponry. I didnt know if something was afoot or if the safeties were on or what. You know you are a rapper, thought it was a new intern. No, raul, hes got me all wrong, im actually one of the best rapper as live. Trevor please welcome dave burd. applause wowness what aws greelting. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Trevor thank you for being here. First of all lets start with this, what do you want to go by, little dickey, going by dave, dave burd, are you in one of those rare positions where all of your names are becoming famous. Yeah. Trevor which is rare for people. Thats cool. Trevor cuz the show is called dave. If you meet me in person which i think is happening right now. Trevor yes. I certainly prefer dave. I feel like lil dicky is just an aggressive way to greet someone. Trevor although i feel like the lil ahead of it diminishes some of the aggressiveness, you know what i mean. If you say what is your name dickey, wow but if you go lil dicky. Two word name tough. Trevor two word names are stuff tough, so dave, welcome to the show. Thanks trevor. Trevor and congratulations on your new show which is already getting great reviews. I put my heart and soul into it. Trevor you really did. People that say, but you put your heart and soul. This is a story lossly based on your life. Which is really interesting one. Yeah. Trevor you loved rap your whole life. Yeah, sure. Trevor you wanted to be a rapper. Yeah. Trevor you wanted to make music, your parents said were not going to give you the money to do that. No, but fortunately hi a bar mitzvah. And it was kind of out of their hands. So applause i like that as an origin story because a lot of rappers you dont know where the money came from, got the chain, got the gold, but where did you get it from, here are you like bar miss va chains bar mitzvah gold. Everything is right out there. Trevor you have chosen to take your life, turn it into a comedy, put it on a show and that is what dave is about, loosely based on your life. Yeah. Trevor but you dont tell us which parts are loose and what is based for your life. Yeah, just up for interpretation. Trevor a lot of interpretation. I am fortunate that my life is like incredibly entertaining. Mi literally a famous rapper. I go around the world and rap but at the tame siem i really am just like a loser and a jewish kid without cant even record half the time because his nose is too stuffed, you know what i mean it is like a very interesting juxtaposition that i am living in. Yeah. Truly. Trevor so when people watch the show, what do you want them to walk away with . How do you want them to feel about lil dicky the artist. What do you want them to know about dave. Wheu, i feel illprepared for that question. I think when they watch the show, i feel like the show contextualizes lil dicky to an extent. I feel like when people meet me they are like i didnt know you would be an nice guy. I thought you would be an asshole but i really find like im i really kind man and i think the show shows the guy behind the decisions that go into making, you know, lil dicky to be with he is. If you watch the show, i dont care what your dream s i feel like you can apply it to the show because i had a very improbable dream and it came true. And i think that is kind of the core of the show. Everyone out there probably has their own dreams and if you watch the show it will inspire you to act, not act like be an actor but act on your dream. Trevor act on your dreams but not act like an actor. Unless your dream is to be an actor, then it will be spire you to. Trevor to act. Yes. Trevor we are on the same page. Exactly the same page, its going well. Trevor this has been a ton of fun thanks for being on the show. Thanks for having me, guy. Trevor dave, a really funny show. Airs wednesday on 10 p. M. On fsx. Dave burd, everybody. Well be right back. The fighting spirit is one we all share. Its the steady beat in the story of anderson. Paak. The story of his immigrant mother, raising three children on her own. His own story, of a man who came from nothing, who found purpose, and success. In the booth of a recording studio. Anderson. Paak found his fighting spirit. And uses it to inspire others through his music. Since 1925, weve proved that it doesnt matter where you come from, it matters what youre made of. Modelo. Brewed for those with a fighting spirit. No. Uh uh, no way. Come on. No. No. N. Ni ni, no no only discover has no annual fee on any card. Everyone said i was crazy. When i started this commute, n. Ni ni, no no so fifteen years ago, i got my first subaru and i did it anyway. For more than five hundred thousand miles, my outback always got me there. So when it was time, of course i got a new one. Because my kids still need me. And i need them. vo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. The most reliable outback ever. Go where love takes you. Just get one of me looking off. How is she there and were here . Condoms. True. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Times when you can fail to read an apps terms and conditions closely. And as a result, russia owns your face. So now, youve become the spokesman for. Something russian. But look at it this way, you have never been more popular in russia. Dos equis. The interesting beer for interesting times. Trevor thats our show for tonight, here it is, your moment of zen. This is aw flu. This is luke a flu. Coronavirus is spreading in the United States. The number of cases las risen to 732. Were going to be pretty soon at only 5 people. And we could be at just one or two people over the next short period of time. The cdc said people should a avoid crowds. Also you should avoid shaking hands. My uncle was at mit. He taught at mit, a great supergenius. I like this stuff, i really get it. They are going to have vaccines i think relatively soon. We are talking about i ivax even, maybe a cure. I think the reasonable expectation is between a year and 18 months, honestly. Anybody that wants a test can get a test. There has been a lag in the ability to get tested. You take a solid flu vaccine, you dont think that would have an impact or much of an impact encore owna. No. It will go away, just stay calm, its going to disappear. One day, its like a miracle, it will disappear. This is a pretty good job weve done. Comedy central [applause and cheering] announcer and now, david spade [applause and cheering] david yeah [applause and cheering] david yes [applause and cheering] david lights out hello, guys. You know weve got cristela, and jim and tony. Isnt that exciting . [applause and cheering] david the big story is, of course, bachelor finale, but wer