Trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out cheers and applause wow this is great thank you thank you thank you take a seat, everybody lets do in thing, im trevor noah our guest tonight is an author and activist whose new book is called hood feminism Mikki Kendall is joining us cheers and applause also on tonights show, joe biden makes a sphriez surprising friend. Jaboukie youngwhite tells us how to stop corona and donald trump might actually be a genius. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with the democratic primary race. As i like to call it too old, too furious. laughter its down to Bernie Sanders and joe biden, and tomorrow could be the day we find out whos going all the way. Former Vice President joe biden and senator Bernie Sanders are both in michigan today ahead of tomorrows president ial contest. Six states will hold votes for 352 the delegates. Of those, michigan is the big prize, the most delegates, 125 of them. Sanders is ehoping michigan is where he can block bidens momentum. Sunday biden will question another endorsement, Kamala Harris. I have decided i am, with great enthusiasm, going to endorse joe biden for president of the united states. I believe in joe. I likely believe in him, and i have known him for a long time. Trevor now, please send 10,000 in unmarked bills so that my family can see me again. laughter im very happy to be here. laughter i dont understand why Kamala Harris shot this hostage style video to show her support for joe biden. It looks weird. It really does. I bet even the taliban is looking at this video, like, we had better lighting and we were in a cave much better, much better laughter also, american politics is a little strange. How is kamala going to endorse joe biden and not acknowledge she once called him a friend of racists who opposed integrated Public Schools . For me, you have to at least say, look, i know weve had our differences, but or Something Like that, otherwise, you make it seem like were crazy. Ive known him for a long time and hes great. During the bebaits . Oh, thats different. When you were a kid, did you sleep over at a friends house and you could hear them screaming in the next room and they would be, hey, do you want pisa for dinner . Are we not going to acknowledge the dateline shit that went down . Okay, ill have pepperoni. laughter america only has to worry about one president ial National Hurricane center next year. In afghanistan, theyre dealing with two. In afghanistan, two different politicians who claimed to win the president ial election are staging inauguration ceremoniesies. Asheri afghani, the Election Commission say he won a second term. Mr. Ghani made his inaugural speech. Several explosions happened nearby. We have the footage through. speaking, then blast continues speaking laughter trevor okay, i dont know whats crazier, that two people say theyre the president or that, while this guy is giving his speech, explosions are shaking the building, and he just keeps on going . Its, like, as i was saying im very happy to be your president laughter so, now, afghanistan is in a sticky situation because two people are claiming to be the president. Yeah, no one knows what to do. If you ask me, we should just get maury over there to solve this whole thing. Just be, like, you are not the leader oh although, at the same time, why dont we fix this . Its not the worst idea to have two president s. We never thought of it. Maybe president s should have day and night shifts. It could be easier for the president s because they can avoid the blame for bad news. People would be, like, mr. President , the people are staferg oh, look, i just clocked in. Yeah, that sounds like a night shift problem, sorry. laughter finally, as you know, yesterday was the beginning of Daylight Saving time when the day leaves the clock behind. Looks like people in power have had enough. Florida senator marco rubio is calling for people to reach out to representatives and senators and ask them to lock the clock and support his bill to make Daylight Saving time permanent. Its time to go permanent Daylight Saving and end this once for all. We have a bill to do that. Lets see if we can get it done this year. This is stupid. Remember, call your member of congress, your senator and tell him to stop this changing of the time and lock the clock. Trevor okay. Why do all american senators shoot selfies like hostage videos . What is is this . Whats going on . Dark halls, weird lighting, im thinking the coronavirus is worst than theyre telling us and every senator is in a fallout shelter. Rubios faking us out. Daylight saving, right, guys . Let me family in seal the doors were really going to turn back the clock shoot them, shoot them laughter trevor why is senator marco rubio telling us to call senators . You work there, bitch, tell them yourself we have stuff to deal with applause they can just vote and time goes back an hour . Its good thing im not a senator because i would be proposing these bills every day. I always want to change time. Five times a way i would be on instagram saying hey, guys, the apple genius boss cant see me to 3 00 p. M. Get my phone fixed. Youre up next thanks, guys, you are great. Lets move on to the top story. cheers and applause the coronavirus, its not only a global pandemic, its also everybodys new excuse for canceling plans. Which reminds me, dave, i cant go to your birthday party, i might have coronavirus, and i also find you very annoying coughing laughter the question remains, how serious is this viral threat going to get . Lets check in on the latest development in our ongoing sceght is this how we die . cheers and applause outside of china, one of the countrys hardest hit by the coronavirus has been italy. Corona cases there seem to be doubling overnight, and its gotten so bad that, at the sistinsistine chapel, god is reg to touch man. As for the government of italy, theyve just decided to shut it all down. All of italy is going on lockdown. Tonight the Prime Minister announcing drastic new measures a short time ago telling everyone in his country to stay home. The Prime Minister announcing tonight severe restrictions on the entire nation of around 60 million people. From tomorrow morning, all sporting events are off, including soccer, the general public should only go to work and work from home if possible. In a rome superb, the faithful celebrated mass outdoors. Notice the distance between them, add hearing to government advice that members of the public should stay three feet away from one another. Trevor thanks to corona, italy is completely locked down. No soccer matches, no cinema, even church has changed because worshipers dont want to get too close. Its going to be hard to take communion, seriously, when the priest has to throw wafers into peoples mouths from across the room. The body of christ from downtown laughter but its not just europe. Coronavirus is also wreaking havoc here in the u. S. , and its becoming clear that no one is safe. Back here in this country two, members of congress are putting themselves under a quarantine because a man attend ago large gathering of republicans tested positive for coronavirus. Senator ted cruz and paul goeser said they had a contact with a man at last months event known as cpac. Two additional congressmen will undergo quarantine. Everyone should continue to treat this outbreak seriously and be driven by facts and medical science, ted cruz says. Trevor yeah, because coronavirus was at cpac, four republican lawmakers are quarantined and can have no human contact. Ted cruz is, like, whats human contact . laughter whats really concerning is if it turns out multiple people in congress have that corona contact, they might have to send all of congress home, which would be a disaster, because if theres no one in cronk, who would be left to not pass any laws . laughter with coronavirus spreading across the country, i know a lot of people are scared right now, but there is no need to fear, my friends, because, you see, the stable genius in chief is on the case and hes going to do everything he can to help all of us through this thing, unless you are already sick, then you are on your own. This morning 35 people on the grand princess cruise ship will disembark in oakland, california. Of the 45 people tested, 21 have confirmed cases. All guests will remain in isolation for 14 days. Political reports that Health Department officials reason quickly removing passengers was the safest outcome. But the president had a very different idea. They would like to have the people come off, i would rather have the people stay. But i go with them, i tell them to make the final decision. Id rather because i like the numbers being where they are. I dont need to have the numbers double because of one ship that wasnt our fault. laughter trevor you know, one thing i appreciate about trump is even if he does the right thing, he still tells us he want to do the wrong thing. Hes, like, ive with one tell me to save those people on the belt but if it was up to me, id let those bastards die. Just give me one fire arrow and ill solve the boat problem viking style boom corona is their problem now. laughter even as trump bumbles his way through the corona response, he thinks hes doing an amazing job. They like this stuff. You know, my uncle was a great person. He was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For i think, like, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, dr. John trump. I like his stuff. I really get it. People are surprised i understand it. Every one of these doctors say how do you know so much about this . Maybe i have a natural ability. Maybe i should have done that instead of running for president. laughter trevor yeah, maybe you should have done a lot of things other than running for president. applause but this is where we are now, and i will be honest, even if trump had some other job, i think he would find a way to ruin things. Even if he was a mailman, hed screw things up. Dingdong, ive got your corona vaccine but i ran over it with my truck. If you suck on the cardboard, you should be fine. laughter by the way, im not sure trump has a natural ability for science. Especially considering that he thinks scientific knowledge can be passed down through his uncle. laughter trump doesnt have a natural he doesnt have a natural anything. I mean, thats why we can all see his tan wiping off on his color. Theres nothing natural about this man. Thats not a normal thing. audience reacts clearly, trump is not a natural expert at this because he said the vaccine could be ready in a few months. It cant. A couple of weeks ago, he said the number of cases would quickly go down to zero. It has been the opposite. He even said you cant spread the disease if you sneeze with your eyes open sneezing with eyes open it doesnt help. laughter trump cant afford to be misinformed about corona because as an older man not in great shape, spending time touching strangers, hes definitely at risk. If trump is not careful, he could get sick, be incapacitated or trapped in quarantine with ted cruz. Well be right back cheers and applause wish you had a battery that lasted longer than lunch . Yeah. Order up, its switching time. There, thats better. Switch to up to 12 hours of battery life. Switch to chromebook. Amanda nunes wears hers with pride. 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The most reliable outback ever. Go where love takes you. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. As the coronavirus continues to spread, its time for us to face the uncomfortable truth that were all going to come in contact with it at some point. Its everywhere. Europe has it, africa has it, america has it, the only person who doesnt have it is that guy in the bunker in parasite, but hes got other problems. laughter if youre in a sparsely populated area, you might be okay, but one of the worst things you can do is be in any kind of cramped space where people are packed tightly together, like a live studio audience for a late night show. Those people are screwed. But not you guys. You guys are fine. laughter its even worse in a city like new york which is basically one big studio audience. The good news, Governor Andrew Cuomo is taking action. Governor andrew cuomo is declaring a stieft emergency in new york as dozens new cases of coronavirus are determined each day with testing happened around the clock. Contain, contain, get a lead, chase it down, chase it down, find a positive, quarantine. Governor andrew m. Cuomo sounding the alarm riding the subways. If you see a packed car, let it go by, wait for the next train. Trevor to minimize your risk in new york city, wait for a less crowded train. We have a live image of someone waiting for a less crowded train. [ please stand by. The event will begi cheers and applause ill mis. A tip about new york, there are no less crowded trains. If there is an empty carton the train, whatever is in there is worse than corona. Okay . cheers and applause even coronavirus would be, like, if i were you, id wait for the next one. Yeah, just wait like me. Im waiting for the next one. cheers and applause although the governor gave unhelpful advice, he does have a plan to help ensure that theres plenty of Hand Sanitizer for the residents of new york. We are introducing new york state clean Hand Sanitizer made con slient by the state of new york. This is is a superior product to products now on the market. This is 75 alcohol. It has a very nice floral bouquet, i detected lilac, hydrangea, tulips trevor no why are you putting your hands in someone elses face . Thats the first rule of coronavirus what . Cuomo is the guy who would open the door to prove the zombies are gone. I swearer i dont hear them, let me check laughter i will say a state making its own Hand Sanitizer to give people free Hand Sanitizer is a great idea. I love this. Though i dont know why cuomo is selling us on the smell. Theres coronavirus, im buying Hand Sanitizer. Im taking it. Imagine if the captain of the titanic was, like, everyone, get in the life rafts they smell like baked cook skis and come in a great shade of yellow for spring im in, im in laughter waiting on governments to figure out a solution to corona, the World Health Organization keeps reminding us theres a lot us as individuals can do to prevent the spread on disease. For more, were joined by our seen your Health Expert jaboukie youngwhite, everybody cheers and applause jaboukie, its really scary, and Everyone Wants to know, what are some of the things that people can do themselves about the coronavirus . Okay, so, first of all, trevor, there is no need to panic. All right . Except for old people. laughter you guys are screwed. Trevor you guys . Im not old. laughter okay, well, well let corona be the judge of that. Trevor okay, well, anyway, jaboukie, i asked you to help us find the best hygiene practices sanctioned by the World Health Organization. What has your research shown . So i read this likely interesting tweet. Trevor a tweet . Yeah, i read this tweet thread which is basically a book. Trevor okay. And i learned that we need to stop shaking hands. You know, why do we even do that in the first place. Like, seriously, whose idea was it for us to be, like, hey, you know those things we used to wipe our butts . Lets rub em together. Mmm booty fingers applause trevor whats the first tip . So my first tip, if you are still shaking hands with people, stop it. laughter right now. Stop that, you dirty bitch. laughter trevor i dont think anyone is disagreeing with you about shaking hands. Its actually why i have been using the elbow. That way you dont even touch hands with people. Elbows . Mmm trevor youre using your elbow . How do you cough . Thats basically like eating someones ass laughter trevor what do you mean, how do i cough . Why is that bad . Show me what you do when you cough . Trevor i cough into my elbow and touch it to somebody exactly. Youre coughing directly into someones ass. laughter elbows are not as clean as people think. As someone who takes a lot of showers with people, i can tell you, no one ever washes their elbow. Trevor so, fine, jaboukie, whats the best way to greet people . So, what i recommend is you put your hand over your heart like so and then you bow. Trevor oh, thats easy, so just like this . A little lower. Trevor like this . You want to be low enough to kiss your old ass good buy for you, old man trevor im not old cheers and applause holy mother of thin. Look what we did we made it thin. How is this possible, you ask . Its not. But we gone done it anyway. Reeses thins. Not sorry. With Kentucky Fried Chicken sweet and savory its cooked to order get it in a basket or a sandwich only at kfc its Finger Lickin good. Only at kfc just get one of me looking off. Look, shes on another vacation. Wow, so happy for you, smiley face emoji. Funny how the words you typed dont reveal the jealousy you actually feel. Thanks, captain obvious. How is she there and were here . Condoms. True. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Ii dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real football team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. Gotcha. Youre going down. Introducing the allnew sonata with remote Smart Parking assist. Have a good day. And hyundai digital key. A better way to stay one step ahead. Gatorade zero. All tzero sugar. Ytes. Ready for more . Bring it on gatorade zero. Get more out of zero. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is a writer and an activist who offers a critique of mainstream feminism in her new book, hood feminism notes from the women that a movement forgot. Please welcome Mikki Kendall. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show. Thank you for having me. Trevor thank you for writing what is one of the most interesting books ive read on feminism in a very long time. Hood feminism is a really interesting title because sometimes people might be, like, is there a different type of feminism in the hood we dont know about . I think there is. I would argue feminism in the hood is more about survival, less about becoming c. E. O. , and more about becoming a person who can afford to keep your house, stay home two weeks during coronavirus and generally feed your kids during that process. Trevor its amazing you say that. Many have said the term feminism has started to lose its power because everyone has a different definition of what it means. What do you think needs to improve . What is hood feminism if applied to everybody . If we made sure everyone currently on the margins have work, housing food, health care, we make sure people have access to education and opportunity, its a better world for everyone. So your answer for we want to reduce crime, well, make sure people dont have a reason to be criminals. Trevor right. We want to reduce the spread of the coronavirus, make sure people can stay home two weeks, be paid a living wage, access grocery and medical care. If were going to do female nim for all the women, we have to make sure the poorest women have everything they need to survive. You cant fight for your rights if you can barely stay alive. Trevor how did your life define how you think about feminism . I lived in the projects, u. S. Vet, went to college while living in the projects and raising my son. My exhusband didnt pay Child Support so there was food stamps, medicaid, all those things. I was one of the people who they talk about as siphoning from the system, except i paid into the system, got pep from the system, and i promise you i pay more in taxes now than i ever got. Trevor its a Great Success story. Its wonderful you came from that place to this place, but its also interesting that you dont stop look back and go, like, im lucky. If you say, well, i made it out, its just me, everybody else has to make it, too, you sort of ignore people who helped you out and, b, you keep the problem going. Theres always another girl hike me, theres always another parent and person like me who is struggling, and we honestly do ourselves no favors when we dont take care of people who need a handout. We love a bootstrap in america. Thats stupid. No one pulls themselves up by their boot straps. Thats never happened. I want you to grab your shoelace and try to pull yourself up and you break your shoelace and get nowhere. laughter so what people do get help from is lift as we climb, reach back and help someone, and the next one, each one teach one is a saying from the 80s, i dont know if its still a thing, but as you move forward and bring people with you, everything gets better. Trevor so do you think, then, you know, because when i read through the books what was interesting as an argument and an idea was that a lot of feminism seems to have been focused around, like, powerful positions only, you know, people who have gone, like, we need more women c. E. O. S, more women in power and ruling and doing this, which we need, but in addition to that, you argue many waves of feminism have left out just women in general and what they need to just survive. Feminism has to lift the women who have power and also the women who need to be able to survive. Because if we want a movement for all women, we need to meet the needs of every woman as best we can. cheers and applause trevor its a powerful statement that makes sense, which means a lot of people are going to hate it. I loved it, though. Thank you so much for being on the show. A really wonderful book hood feminism notes from the women that a movement forgot is available now. Mikki kendall, everybody well be right back thank you so much cheers and applause slow laptop . Shhh. [whispering] how about one that boots up fast . [whispering] its switching time. Hows that for fast . Switch to booting up as fast as six seconds. Switch to chromebook. Yes. Yes. Yeah sure. Yes yes. Yeah, yeah no problem. Yes. Yes, yes a thousand times yes discover. Accepted at over 95 of places in the u. S. Discover. Its more than just fast. It keeps all your devices running smoothly. With builtin security that protects your kids. No matter what theyre up to. It protects your info. And gives you 24 7 peace of mind. That if its connected, its protected. Even that that petcamera thingy. [ whines ] can your internet do that . Xfinity xfi can because its. Simple, easy, awesome. [ barking ] just a blur when they jumped the median. The corner of my eye. There was nothing i could do. daughter daddy dad vo shes safe because of our first outback. And our new ones even safer. avo welcome to the allnew subaru outback. An iihs top safety pick plus. The highest level of safety you can earn. cheers and applause trevor well, thats our show for tonight. Lights out with david spade is coming up next. Stay tuned. But first here it is. Your moment of zen. Most species only use 3 to 5 of their cerebral capacity. Now lets discuss a special case. The only living being that uses its brain better than us i am the smartest person. You know, my uncle who is a great super genius. Im smarter than anybody. Trust me, im like a smart person. Idonald trumps very, very lare brain im goin down to south park, gonna have myself a time Friendly Faces everywhere humble folks without temptation goin down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ample parking day or night people spouting, howdy, neighbor heading on up to south park, gonna see if i cant unwind mrph rmhmhm rm mrph rmhmhm rm come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine
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