Biden gets his improve back. Americas longest war might be coming to an end, and the coronavirus is right behind you. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with coffee. Its the drink you have when youre sleepy so you can poop yourself awake. laughter but one Coffee Company is in trouble for how they get that coffee to you. The famous pitch man for a coffee giant George Clooney is speaking out after that company was linked to a child labor scandal. As nespressos ambassador, George Clooney hack the face of the company, and now says hes saddened and surprised by child labor. They said progress have been made but clearly the board and the Company Still have work the do and the work will be done. Trevor nespresso accused of using child labor to make their coffee. Disappoint bug not shocking, why else would the cups be so tiny . Those arent made by adults. laughter this story made me angry because i hate child labor. One, because it exploits children and, two, if a kid messes up on the job, you cant get mad at them. Youre going to look like an asshole. Theres no accountability. The kid is, like, i was supposed to do a liver transplant but by mistake i had to take your kidney. And youre, like, what . I guess you dead your best. Okay, all right, dr. Kid. laughter its odd why the news seems more concerned about what George Clooney said than the c. E. O. Of nespresso. Its like if mcdonalds was selling frozen beef and the the cree says and someone says, shut up we want to talk to ronald laughter good news from afghanistan, a phrase no one ever said. laughter americas never ending war with the tall bant might finally be coming to an end. Americas longest running war could finally come to an end. Over the weekend the United States signed a deal with the taliban to end a nearly twodecade conflict that gripped afghanistan after the 9 11 attacks and the subsequent u. S. Invasion of the country. The agreement lays out a timetable for full withdrawal of u. S. And Coalition Troops from afghanistan after 14 months and the taliban says it will not plot future attacks against the United States or allies. Trevor this is a big deal the United States and the taliban might have a deal. And this is huge burks sides taylor twift and taylor perry, this might be the biggest news of the century. After 20 years and millions of dollars americas, like, were taking out the taliban and bring back western democracy no matter how long it takes. And now theyre lining, they ehey, were leaving, just dont another 9 11. These two countries have been entwaind in a 20year relationship, all right . We all know its hard to walk away when youve spent that type time together. So, america, let me give you some lapping tips. laughter first of all, america, let me just say im proud of you. Youve realized that youre in a toxic relationship with afghanistan and youre ready to get out. Now i want to warn you, for a while, theres going to be a part of you that wants to go back and bum them in the middle of the night, but you stay strong. laughter you remember, no matter what you think now, there are plenty of other middle eastern country out there for you. cheers and applause and finally, in some local news close to my heart, new york city is saying farewell to one of its oldest residents. New york city is hanging it up, removing the last remaining pay phones from the streets. City workers will remove 30 pay phones in Hells Kitchen alone by mid march and rip out the 3,000 more in the five bourroughs. Did you know that were that many left . Nu soon we will no longer have the pay phone which means well have to find somewhere ills to get hepatitis. I know we dont need pay phones anymore but they were a part of the landscape for so long. You could count on them if you locked yourself out of your apartment or if you needed to call the mafia. laughter superman, pay phones, it was cool when he changed in a phone booth. Those things were gone. Though actually, now that i think about it, he didnt have to use that. He could have just flown home and changed. Now that i feel like it, i feel like superman was a secret exhibition is. He was changing in the phone booth because he got excited someone might catch him. Oh, no, you saw me naked. Now youre going to tell everyone, big dick superman. Hope they dont call me that. laughter get out of here, superman, you pervert okay, i have to go save a bunch of kids making tiny coffee cups. Got to. Go lets move on to the top story. cheers and applause the d. J. Primary campaign, its like love is blind but for democracy. And because the last few days saw major changes in the race, lets catch up on the latest development in another installment of world war d. cheers and applause all right, lets start off with the major news from saturday. It was a very important day for former Vice President joe biden, and not just because he launched his new line of dentures called goat bitens joe bitens, Strong Enough to chew through malarkey. No, this saturday was the South Carolina primary where biden desperately needed a victory and, boy, did he get it. Bidens big win. Joe biden gets the landslide victory he needed in South Carolina. Joe biden trounced Bernie Sanders getting more momentum going into super tuesday. Biden and sanders are neck in neck. Days ago the pundits declared my candidacy dead. Now thanks to the heart of the Democratic Party in South Carolina, im very much alive. cheers and applause trevor yes, joe biden is very much alive, which isnt something candidates usually need to remind people, but laughter but thats still okay, its a Great Campaign slogan. Just take it, man. applause but, yes, thanks to to havewhelming support of black voters, biden isnt just in the race, hes back to being the favorite, which is an amazing turnaround, you know, but thats black people for you. Black people can make anything popular again. Think about it, before black people, biden was losing. Then black people came in and now hes back on top. Before black people, everyone was focused on boobs. Then black people came in, how about butts . laughter then everyone was, like, oh, yeah, butts yeah joe bidens win in South Carolina was so commanding, it didnt just put him ahead in the polls, it got three other candidates to drop out of the race. The moderate wing of this party seems to be moving at a pretty quick pace to all unit around joe biden. Amy klobuchar announcing today she will drop out along with Pete Buttigieg and tom steyer over the weekend, buttigieg and quloab are now expected to endorse former Vice President joe biden. Trevor yeah, first tom steyer dropped out, then Pete Buttigieg ended his historic run as the first openly roug robot candidate. We all know once a gay guy sets a trend, white women wont be far behind. So klobuchar dropped out, too. cheers and applause so if youre joe biden, these past few days are some of the west of your life. For biden, hes made the ultimate comeback. Your opponents arent just dropping out, theyre also endorsing you, and to top it all off, joe bidens are now the number two dentures on amazon, right behind the donald trumps, best in the United States laughter but dont forget, things might be looking out for biden but doesnt mean its a done deal. He still has opponents, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and billionaire in a booster seat michael bloomberg. But the most difficult opponent joe biden has to overcome is himself. Biden in a good position but his campaign plagued by more gaffs. All right, jack, thank you. All right, its chris, but anyway chris, i just did chris. No, no, i just did chuck. I tell you, man, these are backtoback. Look, tomorrow is superstar tuesday. I want to thank you all. We hold these truths to be selfevident. All men created by go you know you know the thing. audience reacts trevor yo. This is not good. laughter just in the past 24 hours, joe has gaffed everything from the name of a tv anchor he was talking to to the declaration of independence. And the name thing on its own is bad because interviews are sort of like sex, doesnt matter how well it goes, if you call the person the wrong thing at the end, the whole thing is ruined. laughter i dont know why biden is still bothering. My life hack is i stay away from peoples names. I call everybody buddy. I never mess up. Great seeing you, buddy stop calling me, buddy, im your mother you got it, chief applause it just helps you out. Thats just the name. Messing up a famous quote from American History is a little worse than some reporter, you know. People notice. Thats one small step for man, one medium coffee no sugar laughter now, i know what youre thinking. Youre probably thinking, trevor, if joe biden debates trump, its going to be a disaster for the democrats because trump is going to eat him up. But when you think about it, it might not be so bad. Yeah. Because trump is the one person who wont know when joe has messed up. laughter yeah cheers and applause joe will be on that debate stage with trump, like, all men are created uh, you know the thing. And trump will be, like, thats right, we all know the thing it was a thing, the biggest thing nobody knows things better than me great point, joe biden and hell be, like, thanks, buddy well be right back cheers and applause yes yes. Yes. Yeah sure. Yes yes. Yeah, yeah no problem. Yes. Yes, yes a thousand times yes discover. Accepted at over 95 of places in the u. S. Times when you can fail to read an apps terms and conditions closely. And as a result, russia owns your face. So now, youve become the spokesman for. Something russian. But look at it this way, you have never been more popular in russia. Dos equis. The interesting beer for interesting times. Yeah. Order up, its switching time. There, thats better. Switch to up to 12 hours of battery life. Switch to chromebook. Switch to chromebook. With moderate to severe treplaque psoriasists uncover clearer skin that can last. In fact, tremfya® was proven superior to humira® in providing significantly clearer skin. 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Big changes in france today. The number of cases there has nearly doubled to 100. The government there really taking some pretty extreme measures. The french government banned indoor public gatherings of more than 5,000 people. That led to the museum shutting down. The Health Minister advising people not to kiss or shakes hands when meeting as president macron did days ago with italys liter. Trevor come on, macron italys got corona and youre kissing their Prime Minister . Thats Three Chances to get sick healthy muah healthy muah dead, muah laughter french people are told not to kiss each other hello, that must be hard. Its an engrained port of their culture. Its like telling new yorkers not to jack off on the subway. Its like saying hello. laughter greeting people with physical contact is not a good idea right now and black people are the only people really prepared for this. Everyone is shaking hands, but black people have many different ways to greet each other. The distant head nod, that whole thing. You look sick, stay over there, you know. laughter and even when black people shake hands, its so complicated that by the end of it the virus is, like, you lost me ton second i didnt get that part yeah, you got me. I dont know im out. Im out. laughter now, while france is only beginning to grapple with how to contain the outbreak, korea is showing the world how its done. T outside of china, south korea has the most coronavirus cases. Theyve come up with a new innovative way to test for the virus in the form of a drives thru. This is a free service that the city is offering anybody. I just took the test, actually. Vehicles come through here and you get a questionnaire, you get your hands sanitized, and then you go through a number of stations here. Trevor damn, korea is advanced. Theyve got drivethrough testing. Apparently, they have screened more than 100,000 people for coronavirus, which is impressive, and probably the first time people going through a drivethrough are getting healthier. laughter but also, why isnt america doing this . This is the land of the drivethrough. Yeah. Drivethrough fast food, banks, liquor stores. When im in a rush, i go to a drivethrough therapist. Stop being sad thank you, goodbye laughter whether drive throughs or something else, america has to figure out how to deal with this pandemic. Apparently coronavirus has been here a while. Over the weekend, Health Officials announced new infections in washington state, oregon, california, illinois, new york, florida and rhode island. In washington state, 13 paints diagnosed with covid19. Researchers in washington telling abc news, their analysis strongly suggests its been spreading in the state the past six weeks. Trevor thats right. Theres a chance coronavirus has been in america for weeks and neck realized it. Yeah. Its like at the end of a sports movie where the coach is, like, guys, what you have been looking for has been right here all along. See, the virus is . Your lungs. You shouldnt be playing basketball. You should be at the hospital. But this is really scary, and, so, for more on this Health Crisis and americas response we turn to senior medical correspondent roy wood, jr. , everybody cheers and applause ive got to say, roy, this virus has everyone so stressed out. Im keeping this can of disinfectant to spray on everything. What else can we do to stay safe . Stop, stop with that. First of all, trevor, dont panic. The most important thing to do is wash your hands. Just wash your hands. And dont rush. Youve got to wash them for at least the length of one verse of a cardi b song. I wash the front, then wash the front, girl, i make healthy moves. laughter and another thing, dont touch your face because you can make yourself sick, and if you are sick, remember to stay coughing stay at home laughter applause wha wh a what . Trevor did you just coronacough in my face . No, i just had some peanuts a minute ago. They stuck in my throat. laughter trevor okay, because im watching you, roy, dont make me sick. Im good, man. Come on. As i was saying, its important not to panic. Check on your elderly neighbors, maketure stifling cough laughter clearing throat theres no need for concern. What you need to coughing trevor aaahhh Corona Corona corona roy wood, jr. , everybody well be right back coughing aaahhh aaahhh slow laptop . Shhh. [whispering] how about one that boots up fast . [whispering] its switching time. Hows that for fast . Switch to booting up as fast as six seconds. Switch to chromebook. Yes. Yes. Yeah sure. Yes yes. Yeah, yeah no problem. Yes. 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[ laughing ] [ screaming ] [ gunshots ] [ screaming ] whyd they kidnap a bunch of normal folks like us . [ screaming ] seems so personal. You must have done something to these people. You one of them . Theyre playing you everyone is lying. [ screaming ] trevor welcome back to the the daily show. My guest tonight is an actor who plays political aide to embattled rob ford in run this town. Did you report on that party a few months ago. The c. J. Pack thing . I know about it but i wasnt on it. So no. All i thought i mean, besides dont cry, all i could think about was the c. J. Pack thing. Why . Because we buried her. That woman, we said that she was crazy, that she had a vendetta. So nobody cared. Trevor please welcome nina dobrev. cheers and applause trevor welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome cheers and applause i like this. I like this a lot. Do you just walk around with the Hand Sanitizer . I mean, i was watching your segment and i thought, you cant be too safe. Trevor you cant be too careful right now. Yeah. Trevor whats interesting is you just came from south africa where we dont have the coronavirus right now. I left the only safe place on the planet. Trevor you did. I came to america and my friends back home are, like, oh, yeah, whos got viruses now . laughter welcome back from your whirlwind. I dont know how youre here or awake. You have been in south africa shooting a movie. You have been there how long now . I was there since mid january. Trevor and from your instagram, sounds like youre having the time you ever life. It feels like eve i havent n on set at all. Ive just been traveling and playing with animals. I love where youre from. Were going to have to switch places and im going to be become a resident. Trevor you visit my mom and tell her everything is good. Yeah. Trevor this is a great deal. You flew to london and then paris. Then you started following the coronavirus around. Yeah. Trevor now youre back in the u. S. I might be the one spreading it, actually, so beware. Trevor youre bind it. It was there before you. But youre back and here to talk about a new film youre in predominantly called rob ford, a mayor from toronto, controversial figure, a figure that was larger than life and he was really, you know, i mean, a lot of people would say he was a bad man but it seemed like people treated him more like a joke than as a problem and as a politician. Tell us a little bit about the story and why you chose to be a part of this film. Yeah, i mean, im canadian and the film is about politician rob ford, like you pointed out. I thought it was an important story to tell because mainly, in a way, he was a precursor, he was foreshadowing what was about to happen below americas hat. Were the hat, right . Trevor you think he was a foreshadow to trump . Well, in a way. Everyone thought he was entertaining and hilarious and weird and didnt take him seriously, yet he did all these things. I dont know, i just feel like it was, like, a warning nobody really listened to. Trevor right. And its, like, a cautionary daily that we just need to be more aware of, especially now going into the next election. Trevor it really is interesting because he was larger than life, he was charismatic in his own way, he was funny, he knew how to spin the news, and you play an interesting character who is one of the people affected by rob ford, a character based on a real, live person because rob ford had web who worked in his campaign and he was accused of saying and doing horrible things to them. Your character plays one of these women who is almost forced to work in this environment because she cant find a job. When youre preparing for this role, so many things are going through your mind. How do you inform yourself about how this character is going to be played . Well, i did my research as much as i could and, yes, shes loosely based on a real person. But in general people are going to school and getting these amazing degrees and working so hard and cant find work in their area of expertise. In her case she worked for rob ford. She was between a rock and hard place, essentially. She wanted to do what was right but she needed to make money and she felt like she had to be in this situation where she was being harassed in the workplace, and that conversation, obviously, has been highlighted and its changing slowly, but this woman in real life, i mean, she stood up for herself and left the swaingsd didnt want to take this abuse anymore, and she was in a way a bit of a pioneer for the movement that happened many years later. Trevor eth a powerful story. You play the character well. If you are looking at a story that some people may gravitate toward the sadness of the story, but there is a triumph in it. What would you say that is for you . I think that the people i mean, hopefully, we can just get everyone that is voting right now i mean, tomorrow is the big day, right . Trevor super thursday laughter yeah, super thursday. So if anything, whatever your opinion is, whatever you believe in, just get out there and actually vote. Every election is just as important as the next, and, so, i think that we all have voices and we all have opinions and were entitled to them and as long as people go out and believe in what they believe in and fight for it, then thats like we just need to get to follows. Polls. Trevor get to the polls. Beautiful performance. Say hi to my mom. Run this town will be in theaters and on demand march 6th. Nina dobrev. Well be right back cheers and applause cheers and applause with pizza huts new mozzarella poppers pizza you can switch between 16 fried Mozzarella Bites and a large pizza. Pizza, then app. App, then pizza. Its your world. Were just making pizza in it. Hurry and try it before its gone. No one outpizzas the hut. Were jack daniels. The oldest, realest, loudest, quietest, friendliest, lonesomest, proudest, mellowest, least likely to give up on a good tradition, most likely to make it how we make it whiskiest whiskey from lynchburg, tennessee. No. Uh uh, no way. Come on. No. No. N. Ni ni, no no only discover has no annual fee on any card. Awwww yeah. N. Ni ni, no no thats the stuff. No really. Those are the actual ingredients. Funky rock track tostitos. [crunch] get to the good stuff. cheers and applause trevor thats our show for tonight. Dont forget, the more, the daily show is going live for super tuesday. So make sure to tune in. Thats tomorrow, not thursday. Now here it is. Your moment of zen. I have won every place, every race, every time. I won every race back to elementary school, where my slogan, which ive abandoned, was all the way with amy k. All right, were not going to use that one. My campaign sloan slogan was all the way with amy k. , which i wont use nine more. All the way back to 4t 4th grade my slogan was all the way with amy k. Im not going to use that one. I dont thinketh a good idea and now david spade. [ applause ] spade yeah, man. Thats cool. Very american. Cool, yeahs im wearing my boox ts. David and whats going on