daily show," everybody! thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out! thank you all for coming out! let's do this thing, let's make a show. i'm trevor noah. our guest tonight is a multi-platinum selling artist from washington, d.c. wale is going us, everybody! he will be performing attend of the show, so stay tuned. also, the new hampshire primary is officially underway, the coronavirus is make ronny chieng sick, and why cockroaches are the perfect gift for valentine's day. so let's catch up on today's headlines. let's kick it off with the big news, equifax. some people know them as a credit-reporting agency. others know them as a player hater that stops you from buying your couch. you may remember they were at the heart of a massive data hack and we're finding out how it all went down. >> good evening. it was one of the biggest cyberattacks in history stealing the personal informationov nearly half of all americans from associate numbers to birth dates. now the u.s. justice department is accusing a branch of a chinese military with a 2017 hack of a credit rating company equifax. >> the chinese team hid their tracks by using 34 servers in nearly 20 countries. the f.b.i. believes china also hacked marriott, u.s. government's personnel office, and insurance giant anthem as it builds a massive data base on every american. >> trevor: that's right. china is allegedly stealing people's private information to build a massive data base on every american. you know somewhere now mark zuckerberg is, like, back off, china, that's my thing! ( laughter ) i don't understand this, china is beating the u.s. in everything now. why would they steal americans' information? unless it's just to rub it in to everyone's faces. ha! i know the answer to your security questions, your first car was a kia, what a bitch! ( laughter ) they say china hacked marriott. why are they hacking hotels? are they going to tank the u.s. economy by adding charges to the mini bar? let's be honest, everyone is three chocolate bars away from bankruptcy. ( laughter ) they say china is doing this to steal american's identities. if that's true, the joke is on them because half the americans are in debt. it will backfire. i am bryan taylor. all right, you know verizon $400. no! ( laughter ) education news, every public school struggles to raise mon arey for teachers and students. but one fundraiser in california might have backfired. >> disney sent a 250 bill to a california elementary school after it showed last year's remake of "the lion king" at a path fundraiser. thursday a berkeley elementary school received a letter from disney's licensing agent and the letter ordered the school to pay the money for screening the movie last november without a license. >> the disney play place wanted some money because they own, like, all of the movie. >> they showed the movie that they own so they want the $250 -- they kind of want the $250. >> trevor: oh, no, young man -- disney country kind of want the $250, disney's going to get the $250! ( laughter ) right now, somewhere yoda is like my money bitch better have! ( laughter ) , so yeah, disney sent a $250 bill to an elementary school for showing "the lion king." meanwhile, the producers of "cats" are giving $250 to every school that shows their film. please, play the movie, use this instead of spanking the kids! we're not monsters! i'm sure there are many schools in america that play disney movies and don't get busted. what i want to know is who snitched? huh? is there, like, one kid who had one of those toy phones that calls mickey mouse directly or is it, like, mickey, i've got some valuable information! mick is, like, oh, i'm on the way! who is this kid? finally, valentine's day the three days away. if you were prang on breaking up with someone, wait another week. but if you're broken up, here's a valentine for your ex. >> we have a perfect idea. people are letting people name a madagascar hissing roach after their partner, only costs you 15 bucks. zoos in cant and el paso texas will name a cockroach after your ex. you can watch a live stream of the roach being fed to an animal. ( laughter ) >> trevor: really? really? man -- i feel bad for the cockroaches, they can survive a nuclear war but they can't survive alan and janet's saturday at ikea? really? and i'm sorry, but anyone who does this deserves to get dumped. they deserved it. yeah, because you clearly don't know how to deal with your feelings. it's like, melissa thinks i'm too emotional? i'll show her by making a cockroach die! ( laughter ) also, what a cumbersome way to get revenge on your ex because, like, they won't know it happened. ( laughter ) right? unless you tell them. it's not like they're going to be somewhere, aaahhh! a cockroach with my name just died! ( laughter ) you're going to have to call your ex and let them know what you did. guess what, susan? i named a cockroach after you and a lizard ate it. okay, greg, i just had my third kid with the guy i left you for. so we're both good, then. three kids? bye. hello, bronx zoo? i need three more cockroaches, please. ( laughter ) can we admit this is a scam the zoo is running? no, find a cockroach in your own apartment, name it after your ex and start dating it. that's it for the headlines. let's more o move on to our top story. ( cheers and applause ) new hampshire, it's the state always asking vermont to do something about the weed smell. but today they were the state holding the second democratic primary, and because normally the most exciting thing to do in new hampshire is watch mountains grow, election day gets the people going like nothing else. >> after months of campaigning and millions of dollars in tv ads, it all comes down to this -- voters here in new hampshire already heading to the polls. overnight in new hampshire, the first votes were cast in the granite state. as they've done for decades the tiny down of dicksville notch went to the polls at midnight. >> we were in exeter, new hampshire at the town hall. it was beyond capacity. >> people have been lined up since 5:00 a.m. this morning. >> they vote for sport in new hampshire. >> i voted for warren. >> steyer. >> why? >> he's cute. no, he seems like he can tackle trump. >> i voted for bernie. >> i voted for amy klobuchar. >> tell me why? >> i actually eeny, meeny, miny, moe'd it. >> you're kidding? >> in the booth. >> trevor: that's not how you should pick your potential future president, although it is how the president picks his spray tan shade for the day -- eeny, meeny, miny, moe -- oooh, creme brule, sounds so fancy! ( laughter ) so new hampshire voters spent the day carefully deciding who they want to be the democratic nominee. but, of course, none of the votes matter if they aren't counted correctly, iowa. ( laughter ) according to state officials they've got this thing under control. >> new hampshire state bill gardner told us he slept well last night and today's voting will be simple and secure. >> keep it simple. keep the moving parts the smallest number you can. >> could this be hacked in any way? >> you can't hack a pencil. >> how many apps do you have involved in this process? >> we don't have any apps involved in the tabulating. >> no apps. >> no apps. >> it's an app-free election, you can guarantee that? >> yes. >> trevor: funny how a few years ago, guys, we need to vote with our phones, it's the future. but thanks to the disaster in iowa, it's, like, we're going back to how our forefathers did. this everyone gets one rock and we put it in a jar! yeah, then our slaves count the rocks. too far back? sorry, sorry. too far back. ( audience reacts ) ( laughter ) for more on new hampshire's big day, we go now to our correspondent who is live in the granite state right now, michael chemichaelkosta, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) michael, you're on the ground in new hampshire. what is the energy like? >> hey, trevor, i am not going to lie, today's been pretty stressful for the democratic candidates. in fact, joe biden was so tense he gave himself a surprise massage. >> trevor: it makes sense because thanks to iowa there's so much more riding on this primary. >> not only that but the candidates have had only one week to completely change their cultural messaging because iowa is mostly white people but new hampshire is mostly -- white people. >> trevor: costa, i don't get the difference. sounds like both states are just a bunch of white people. >> wow, trevor, just a bunch of white people? that is so insulting. first off, it's not a bunch. the collective noun for white people is a gluten of white people. ( laughter ) and second, white people are not a monolith. we are a rich tap industry of ethnic diversity. let me show you on my caucasian color wheel, okay? now, see, the new hampshire white people fall here in the eggshell section, while the iowa whites are all the way over here in the oatmeal cream section. >> trevor: kosta, that's a blank circle. >> zero is not nothing. free to go is not innocent of all charges. though you do hear that a lot when you're white. ( laughter ) how would you feel if i said there was no difference between black people in south africa and black people in -- what's another country with black people? >> trevor: well, there's this one. >> this one? i never heard of it. but i'm sure this one is a beautiful country! >> trevor: i'm not saying there's no difference, i just don't understand how the candidates campaign differently in new hampshire versus iowa. >> it's a totally different ball game. for example, in iowa you can say it's great to be here in iowa but that's not going to fly in new hampshire. >> trevor: yeah, you're right, that does seem like a challenge. >> then the voters, remember, you're talking to very different groups of people. iowans are rural, while new hampshireites are not urban. iowans are blue collar but new hampshireians are working class. is it pop or soda? they're basically different planets. >> trevor: i don't know about that, a lot of people don't agree with your assessment. for example, how would you respond to the criticism that the predominantly white states aren't the best states to kick off the primaries because these candidates could be starting in a more representative state of the country like california or florida. >> i hear what you're saying, trevor, and, yes, iowa and new hampshire are white, but hear me out, they're also boring as hell, okay, and that's what we want! we don't want our candidates going to fun states like florida or california! if you've got to spend a year campaigning in miami, everyone would be running for president! ( laughter ) but if you're willing to spend a year eating bland food in sub-zero temperatures, pretending to care about how big a pumpkin is, that's how i know you really want to be president, okay? and that's why the road to the white house has to go through here, des moines, iowa. >> trevor: no, kosta, you're in new hampshire. >> all the same, anyway. >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody! everybody! we'll be right back! we've all been here before. the conference room. the speaker phone. the missing files. not in the room? then you're not in the know. well, this has been nice, but can we not? microsoft teams invites everyone you work with, to work together. be seen, be heard, be there when you're not. share your files, and your opinion. and maybe even a happy little fruit guy. when you're ready to unleash the power of your team, open teams. yes. yes. yeah sure. yes yes. yeah, yeah no problem. yes. yes, yes a thousand times yes! discover. accepted at over 95% of places in the u.s. ♪ we're jack daniel's. the oldest, realest, loudest, quietest, friendliest, lonesomest, proudest, mellowest, least likely to give up on a good tradition, most likely to make it how we make it whiskiest whiskey from lynchburg, tennessee. whiskiest whiskey the only thing that makes t-mobile's new offer on iphone 11 better is the people you share it with. so right now, switch to t-mobile and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $90 and 2 iphone 11s on us. all on our newest, most powerful signal that goes farther than ever before. hurry into t-mobile now and get 2 lines of unlimited for only $90 and 2 iphone 11s on us. only at t-mobile. awwww yeah. that's the stuff. no really. those are the actual ingredients. ♪ funky rock track tostitos. [crunch] get to the good stuff. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." some news stories help us understand the world we live in and some news stories are just stupid. for those, we turn to ronny chieng. ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> thanks, trevor. the coronavirus is not just making people sick, it's also making people stupid. misinformation going around online is more viral lain thanh the disease. >> with coronavirus spreading rapidly around china and the world, social media companies are faced with misinformation. >> alerts suggesting chinese red bull, fortune cookies or noodles could give you christmas eve. all those fake. >> one said drinking bleach could cure the virus, eating garlic, rinsing nose with saline or putting on sesame oil helped prevent the virus. >> really? some people think eating garlic or putting on sesame seed owl prevents the disease? then no chinese would have it. that's breakfast for us. it's like a pan dink broke out in roam (italian accent) don't worry, you won't get the virus as long as you eat plenty of ravioli. and bleach will only get stains out, idiot. ( laughter ) the coronavirus is creating a lot of stupid-ass racism. >> the coronavirus has led to complaints about a rise in anti-chinese sentiment around the world. in france, for example, a regional newspaper has had to apologize for this headline that used the phrase "yellow alert" while scenes like this one you're about to see here are widespread, of people appearing to cover their face just because they're sitting next to someone who is asian. >> cnbc are reporting lyft and uber drivers refuse to pick up riders with asian sounding names saying it's not safe. >> uber drivers aren't picking up passengers with asian sounding names because they're afraid of coronavirus in if anyone's taking a health risk in an uber is me. getting in the back of your sentra? oooh. one time i was in the back with a monkey that started ebola. crazy! he lived all the way on the other side of town! ( laughter ) must be tough for racist drivers who discriminate based on asian sounding last names. robert e. lee? no, i can't risk it. ( laughter ) the point is we've got to start thinking of this as an asian virus. it started in asia but any human can spread it. if you're going to be a dick about it, you've got to avoid all people. that's why i spent the weekend at a tom steyer rally. even he didn't show up! ( laughter ) what's stupid is people who seem to care less about the health crisis and more about when they're going to get their stuff. >> tesla tanking announced model three shipment for february would be delayed due to the shanghai factory shut down and coronavirus fears. >> 70% of the sticks used in n.f.l. are made in china. those are slowed due to the coronavirus. >> many of phones are shipped from china's wuhan area. consumers could see a delay of one to two weeks in getting their phones i if the virus isnt contained soon. >> oh, no, you will have to wait ten extra days to get your iphone. i'm sorry all these people dying is making it hard for you to take night shots of your dog. and just don't take uber this week. having fun going alone to the airport, you ebola monkey. ( laughter ) >> trevor: this seems to be a real problem. >> why is the ebola monkey even flying? where is he going? he's not wearing a mask, like he doesn't give a (~bleep ). >> trevor: no, you don't worry to be concerned about the disease itself. should people be concerned? >> yes, it's a serious illness and problem, but in the united states there are only 13 confirmed cases. the greater dangerous is stupid racism. there's no reason to be weird around asian people. >> trevor: statistically, they probably don't have the virus. >> exactly. don't stereotype asian people. also there's a good chance they are a doctor so they can help you out if you are worried. ( laughter ) >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ we only come out at night ♪ we only come out at night ♪ ♪ i walk alone ♪ i'll pretend to know the way ♪ ♪ we only come out at night ♪ ♪ we only come out at night ♪ mik'mike will get it done?'n, ok, let me tell you what the 'it' is. as mayor, i expanded healthcare coverage. as president, i'll build on obamacare because healthcare is a right. i created nearly 500,000 jobs in new york city. as president, i'll build an economy that delivers good jobs with higher wages. i'll take on the gun lobby and save lives. and i will stop trump's assault on women's reproductive rights. i've got a record of doing things. i've got the resources to take on this fight. as mayor, i held myself accountable for results. as president, i'll offer common sense plans and i will get it done. so let's stay on the offensive, and let's win. i'm mike bloomberg and i approve this message. look what we did! we made it thin. how is this possible, you ask? it's not. but we gone done it anyway. reese's thins. not sorry. yes. yes. yeah sure. yes yes. yeah, yeah no problem. yes. yes, yes a thousand times yes! discover. accepted at over 95% of places in the u.s. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a grammy-nominated recording artist whose latest album is called "wow... that's crazy." please welcome wale! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: yeah, man, it is such a pleasure to have you here because i think there are a few artists, never mind rappers, just artists who have as wide of an appeal as you do. there's not many people can say their fans include president barack obama and jerry seinfeld. that is quite a range of fans. did you ever think that might have happened in your life? >> i might have just realized it now. that's crazy, right? >> trevor: that must have been wild for you. for those of you who know jerry seinfeld, he's notorious for doing what he wants to, he likes what he likes and doesn't like what he doesn't like. he liked your music and said he wanted to do that about you. you did an album about nothing. >> i did a mix about nothing when i was quitting my job and doing this full time. then i did one called more about nothing. and then, you know, the fans is like can you do an album about nothing? i'm like, damn, i've got to ask jerry seinfeld to do original contest because i was using the show. but we got about maybe, like, eight hours of jerry talking. >> trevor: are you serious? >> yeah, to make the album about nothing. make sure if you don't got that, you get that. >> trevor: that is amazing. >> got to promote my stuff. >> trevor: that is amazing. ( applause ) jerry seinfeld is a friend and fan and on top of that you have barack obama who is, like, no, i would like wale to perform at the white house before the state of the union. >> yeah. >> trevor: what is that experience like? >> i'm pretty tight, right? ( laughter ) no, i was nervous. maybe it was because it's out of convenience because i live in d.c. and the white house is not too far. >> trevor: i like the idea that you think barack obama was working off convenience at that time. ( laughter ) where he was just, like, which %-@) no, i think he got you because@) he was a fan of yours. i think it's because of what you rap about. you have been lauded as a rappr who isn't just great at making music but your music contains themes that connect with team. you're talking about toxic masculinity, economic anxiety, what people are going through. >> what's messed up is people anyway. most of us rappers are pretty messed up, men as a whole. females are messed up, but we can get to that later. it's just about balance. i like to write in realtime. i'll peek my head into the pop culture, feel out what's going on in our communities, and get inspired to write. if i feel what the energy is like, it's a combination of what's going on in social media, outside, realtime, sports, a little politics -- that's a little depressing when i look as that -- but i try to take these things and write about it in realtime. >> trevor: when you make one album of the other you have the balance of catering to the fans and what you want to go into. >> creating something new gives you your sanity as an artist. i do what i like and feel but i'm also very in tune with what my fans like. i try to listen to what they feel about everything. >> trevor: you'll be performing two songs on the show after the break so i urge everybody to stay tuned. thanks so much for being here, my friend. stay tuned for a special performance on his new album after the break featuring kelly. wale, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ applebee's new irresist-a-bowls now starting at $7.99. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. just get one of me looking off. how is she there and we're here? condoms. true. don't hate-like their trip, book yours with hotels.com and get rewarded basically everywhere. hotels.com. be there. do that. get rewarded. ♪ ♪ dramatic music intensifies ♪ dramatic music really, really intensifies ♪ ♪ dramatic music ends, dramatically ♪ chobani flip. all good. no bad. you canbut if you did,on love. it'd cost the exact same as a reese's. turns out love's kinda inexpensive. not sorry. reese's. no. uh uh, no way. ♪ come on. no. no. n... ni ni, no no! only discover has no annual fee on any card. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back! now to perform a medley of "sue me" and "l.o.v.e. dot dot dot" from his new album please welcome wale featuring kelly price. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ people, people ♪ people, people, the high life is a movie, we ain't promised a sequel ♪ ambition, my second album, how was you sleepin'? ♪ dropped the album with seinfeld, they thought i was tweakin' ♪ a prophet, a genius ♪ i'm flyin' with lena, i'm ridin' with nina ♪ one write for the chi, one right where i need her ♪ the funny thing is i'll always be single ♪ i love me some logan, i love me some issa ♪ i'll never get either ♪ those women are queens, me? i'm a drunk, i'm a demon ♪ heaven knows i'm a dreamer ♪ i seen taraji and kelvin, always hope i could be that ♪ i fell in love with an actress actin' like she don't need me ♪ polarizin' the sun, underrated again ♪ show business will never love you the way you love it ♪ you come and we go, they quick to forget ♪ so every bourgeois event i attend, i tell 'em this ♪ sue me, l'm rootin' for everybody that black, yeah, uh huh, yeah ♪ sue me, i'm rootin' for everybody that black, yo, yo yo, look, look ♪ sue me, i'm rootin' for everybody that black ♪ spent 'bout two racks on handmade durags ♪ sue me, i'm rootin' for everybody that black ♪ that's everybody from sports to college class to rap, i'm back ♪ i need you to know you're so beautiful ♪ i need you to know you're so beautiful, oh ♪ okay, sue me, i'm rootin' for everybody that's black everybody be asking my sixth album my last ♪ i'm super sick of this business ♪ my daughter missin' me, nigga ♪ the whip is bullet repellent ♪ but they gon' kill me with tax ♪ really on clout, they ain't checkin' for stats ♪ who a decade or better, givin' decadent rap ♪ respect is in order, hate me, better do it loud ♪ root for everybody black, haters say "that's crazy, wow" ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa ♪ mine, mine ♪ >> happy valentine's day to everybody who's single. let's go. ♪ i said, i said we could never be, i won't even try ♪ don't know why we try, i don't why we try ♪ try, try, try, why i try, i try ♪ i seen tears up in your eyes, i can make it all better ♪ i can make it all better ♪ hands up in my face, you don't even wanna see it my way, yeah ♪ way too much to drink, i had way too much to drink ♪ goin' through a breakup, that just slow the pace up, yeah ♪ you was wonderin' why i went missing ♪ girl, i miss your lovin', huggin' touchin', kissin' ♪ say others don't amount to nothing, trust and listen ♪ ayy, listen up shawtie, folarin, okay ♪ l-o-v-e, dot-dot-dot, why i gotta try so hard? ♪ why i gotta lie? because i'm prideful and don't like a lot ♪ l-o-v-e, dot-dot-dot, why you like to fight so much? ♪ why you follow every broad i yent on that's fine ♪ you don't want no title? cool ♪ you don't get no title, love ♪ peddle to my side bitches, now that's a vicious cycle, girl ♪ you better, yeah ♪ would you rather love or just someone to like your pictures? yeah ♪ met you in the club, i don't ♪ met you in the club, i don't expect you to stop hitting 'em - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪