Good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Where these sunsoaked litea leavesactory. Are picked at the peak of freshness. For a naturally smooth taste. And drinking lipton every day can help support a Healthy Heart will you stop botherin me . Im sortin my trash here your artwork is amazing my what work . People need to see this you need a website. You want to put even more trash on the internet . What are you doin . Very soon youre gonna be very famous right. Lady that is the last thing i would ever. Huh . Huh . What the. Stop put those away or here on a wifi hotspot. Lte Xfinity Mobile has more coverage to keep you connected to what matters most. Thats because its the only Wireless Network that automatically connects you to millions of secure wifi hotspots and the best lte everywhere else. Save up to 400 a year when you switch. Plus, save even more with 100 off galaxy a50. Click, call or visit a store today. Isnt he responding at all, doctor . Im sorry, your son appears to be losing the battle. Im afraid that the hemorrhoid has spread to his lungs. Normally the body would fight the infection, but heshes just given up on life. But then are you saying. Theres nothing more i can do. Little fellas just lost his will to live. Oh, kyle kyle, youve got to fight good riddance, you stupid park. You can all kiss my ass excuse me, eric cartman . Yeah. Im frank gerret with the irs. You havent kept records of your income or payout, and theres a 500,000 discrepancy. Seize the assets. Hey hey, thats my money theres also the lawsuit of the little boy who died in your park. The familys entitled to the rest of this. What, kenny . He dies all the time you still owe 13,000 more than this, mr. Cartman. Well see you in court. You cant take my money, god damn it we know how well your park is doing. Youll make it back in no time. Ah but iah hey, hey, mr. Foon, i changed my mind. I need the park to make my money back. No way, jose. But im getting sued now. If i dont have the park, i lose everything. I dont care, said pierre. Im from france. This cant be happening aaah kyle, you got to come see kyles not going to make it, stanley. Oh, gerald doctor, can we wheel kyle out of here on his bed with the machines attached . Well, i suppose it could be rigged, but i. Then damn it, man, do it it isnt fair you goddamn assholes, it isnt fair look, kyle, look. You just built me up to knock me down, didnt you . What about my dreams . What about my money . Huh . Im so pissed off move along, sir. You are vandalizing private property. Hey, you used to work for me god damn it, you son of a bitch kyle. Hes coming back. Thats it, baby, thats it. Oh, god damn it, this sucks wait a minute; yes, the hemorrhoid is going into remission. Arrrrrr rrr look, kyle, cartman is totally miserable, even more miserable than he was before, because hes had his dream and lost it. Its not fair its not fair. I wanna die i wanna die you are up there. Captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com captioning sponsored by Comedy Central live from comed]]tentrals world news headquarters in new york, the daily show with trevor noah presents 2020 cheers and applause trevor good evening, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out im trevor noah. The democratic president ial debate ended just moments ago and we are coming to you live, people and i can prove it. This is how live we are. See the hourglass . The show just started. See that . Yeah. Now, as we said, the seventh debate just ended and with only six candidates, it was the smallest debate yet but also the whitest debate. Six candidates, all of them white, which is amazing odds. Even a carton of eggs will occasionally have a brown one. This is very special. And for a party thats so diverse, no one wants to see this happen. The only person who was happy was Greta Thunberg because the stage was so white it reflected light back into the atmosphere. It was held in iowa which is hosting the first primary vote just three weeks from now and all the candidates are gearing up for the big day including Bernie Sanders who tried to pump his supporters up. This is adorable. He put this Instagram Video of him rolling out to iowa. laughter laughter wow, can you feel the energy . Ive never been so enthralled in my life. Im not commenting on bernies driving. I think he thought this video would psych people up. Weve got to put this shit online now did you see me coming out the driveway . In bernies head it looked like this. screeching tires fast and furious all right. Now the upcoming iowa primary wasnt the only thing looming over the debate. The big drama leading up to tonight was the growing tension between americas socialist sweetheart, Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren. It started when Bernies Campaign only attracts rich and jade voters. Elizabeth warrens campaign hit back. Gloves off, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders trade accusations ahead of the democrats final debate before voting in iowa begins. Nonaggression pacts between appears to be over. The campaigns duking it out over a private conversation ino 2018 when sanders allegedly told warren a come cant win. Sanders denies the claims calling the idea he said a woman couldnt win ludicrous. Then warren contradicted him publicly. I thought a woman could win, he said, she disagrees. Trevor oh, no Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, the last people you would ever expect to go after each other. Like seeing r2d2 and 3cpo become ennis mist. So much in common, both on the same sides, both robots and deeply regret appearing in the sequels. Youre right, we should have quit after the third one. laughter it must seem like your parents are getting divorced which is a situation bernie is too blunt to handle delicately. Daddy, is it my fault . Well, we were happy and we had you. You do the math laughter its not surprising the candidates were asked about it at tonights debate. Bernie was adamant he never said what they said he said. Senator sanders, Elizabeth Warren said in 2018 you told her you did not believe a woman could win the election. Why did you say that . Well, as a matter of fact, i didnt say it. Anybody who knows me, it is incomprehensible that i would say a woman could not be the president of the united states. Theres a video of me 30 years ago talking about how a woman could become president of the united states. Trevor this is true, bernie has a video that came out from 30 years ago laughter where he said in the video he thinks a woman could be elected president. Then again, we cant really know if this was recorded 30 years ago. Because the guy has looked the same his entire life. Like, for all we know, every time bernie gets in trouble he records a new video and makes it look old, like if someone accuses him of hating dogs, a video would pop up of bernie saying, hello, its 1985, and i definitely do not hate dogs, no matter what they said about me in 2020, i do not hate dogs. I said it today in 1985. Okay, i gotta go, my ubers here. laughter so bernie was sticking to the story. He never said a woman cant be president. While bernie was on the defensive, Elizabeth Warren attacked saying maybe none of these men could be president. I think the best way to talk about who can win is by looking at peoples winning record. So can a woman beat donald trump . Look at the men on this stage. Collectively they have lost ten elections. The only people on this stage thats won every single election they have been in are the women, amy and me. cheers and applause and the only person on this stage who has beaten abincumbent republican anytime in the past 30 years is me. Trevor damn whoo not since kill bill have i seen one woman obliterate that many men in one fell swoop. I mean, forget the wealth tax. Warren just deducted two goals from every man on that stage. Two from you, two from you laughter bernie says he didnt say it, senator warren says he did. She definitely won the exchange, though it would have been cleaner if she didnt come back a few moments late tore create one to have the weirdest moments weve ever seen in a debate. Just to set the record straight, i defeated an incumbent republican running for congress. When . 1990. Thats how i won, beat a republican congressman. Number two, i dont think there is any debate about that. Wasnt that 30 years ago . I beat an incumbent republican congressman. And i said i was the only one whos beaten an incumbent republican in 30 years. Well, 30 years is 1990, as a matter of fact. So i dont know thats the main issue of the day. Trevor okay, now that was the most unnecessary it inpicking argument you will ever see in a president ial debate. It felt like we were watching an old couple fight in a diner. I thought you said you were getting an appetizer yeah, i am, im getting soup, that is an appetizer. No, soup is a side no, if it comes before the meal, its an appetizer my father was right, i should have married stu greenberg. I am stu greenberg laughter but that was a pretty tense moment between warren and sanders. But there was another tension that had to be addressed tonight, and that was between the u. S. And iran, and the question the candidates were asked was why would they make a better commanderinchief than the current commander in tweet . I stood on the Senate Armed Services committee, worked with our generals, military leaders, intelligence. I am able to work with republicans, i am able to bring people together. I have been in the u. S. Senate for over 12 years. I bring a different perspective. I work internationally around the world for decades, i traveled, i met with governments, i met with businesses, and i understand how america interacts with other countries. Trevor so he can be commanderinchief because he went on a lot of business trips . Vote for me, im delta diamond medallion laughter a weird reason. But to be fair, some go on to say that he thinks being commanderinchief is more about judgment than experience, and i will be honest, in that, i agree. Heres my thing every candidate makes it sound like theyre experts on the military when, in reality, the general gives the president s options and the president just picks one. I dont care which president it is. Even trump, when they conduct these operations, they give him options and he picks. Hes not planning operations. Hes not, like, alpha team you go in low, then the bad guys over the top, then the grenade, then bababababa and then i will be, like, take air eric take eric and then we all wait. laughter its not happening. applause ill be honest with you, other than what we just saw, there wasnt much new in this debate. They touched on healthcare, trade policies, impeachment and, to be honest, it was more of the same. Bernie wants medicare for all, biden thinks its too much. Klobuchar thinks she can win republican votes, buttigieg says he brings something new to the job which is a fake i. D. All in all, todays debate wasnt that exciting and i guess this is what happens when you only have white people at your party. Yeah, theres no kamala to spice things up, no cory to do the carlton, no andrew yang making it rain. So, now, the big the question is how will this debate affect the race Going Forward . Though to be honest, i think the real question is do these debates even matter at all . You think about it, the debates used to be the best way to get in front to have the american people, but with two billionaires in the race, the game changed. Tom steyer is a household name, has the charisma of a clip board, but recent polls show him surging to second place in South Carolina and third in nevada. And one guess how he did it. So far the candidates combined have spent 17 million on political ads just in the state of South Carolina. Of that 17 million, 14 million of it was spent by tom steyer. Same thing in nevada, his nevadaonly add spending is more than all of the ad spending by biden, warren, and klobuchar combined nationwide. Trevor thats right, tom steyer is spending more on ads in one state than other candidates have spent in their entire campaign, and, clearly, its having a big effect on the polls, which shows you how effective advertising can be. If you just show people something enough times, eventually theyll be, like, yeah, i like that. Thats why cheerios is a thing. The most popular cereal all the time. And its not just tom steyer using giant ad buys to jack up his poll numbers because the real bling king in this race is michael bloomberg. Mayor bloomberg the former mayor of new york is spending big. He spent around 10 million during the super bowl. Hes on track to spend 200 million on advertisements by march. That is more than barack obama spent in the entirety of his 2012 campaign, and bloomberg said he would spend a billion dollars if he needs to. Trevor yeah, we are seeing massive spending from michael bloomberg, former mayor from new york and oompa loompa with a swiss bank account. Hes close to shelling out more than obama in his entire campaign and he said hes willing to throw down a billion dollars. At that point why not just offer trump a billion dollars to step down . I think he would take it laughter the man is wearing a discount weave, we know he needs that money cheers and applause you offer him a billion dollars, hell take it and honestly, nobody knows if hell stop at a billion dollars. Could be more. Bloomberg could go further. The man is worth 60 billion and he doesnt mind spending his cash. Ii wouldnt be shocked if, prety soon, bloombergs ads started looking more like this. This is mike bloomberg, a successful mayor, a renowned businessman, and hes bought all the ads on every channel. If you dont vote for mike, this is all you will see, day after day, month after month, until youre begging for the my pillow guy. If mike loses even one primary, hell take over all of tv, hell vote the oscars, hell be the next bachelor and all the bachelorettes. So if you want your tv back, you know who to vote for. Im michael bloomberg, dont be stupid, america. Trevor oh, what a terrifying future well be right back after this message by mike bloomberg. cheers and applause lisa its good to be transparent. At h r block, you know the price before you begin. It makes things. [thud]. Crystal clear. lisa vo upfront transparent pricing. lisa sorry trevor. lisa vo know the price before you begin. Its better with block. This is an ad for a chip we dont need a logo. Its the threesided crunch. You know, that cheesy, spicy, crispycrunchy, flavor packed bodega snack that rhymes with. I need those. An ad with no logo . Its another level. Chilis 3 for 10 steak, cooked how you like its tender and juicy and aged to perfection that may sound fancy, but its chilis fancy so come as you are and just bring 10 bucks 3 for 10 now with steak baby steak baby steak mmmhmmm together we chilis, oh yeah baby yeah burke weve seen almost everything, so we know how to cover almost anything. Even a gold medal grizzly. sports announcer what an unlikely field in this final heat. Hang on. Youre about to see history in the making. burke not exactly a skinny dipper, but we covered it. At farmers, we know a thing or two because weve seen a thing or two. We are farmers. Bumpadum, bumbumbumbum vo visit farmersdotcom and get a quote today. cheers and applause trevor tonights debate was in iowa because, in just three weeks, they will cast the first vote in the democratic primary, just like they do in every president ial election. And if you want to know what it feels like to be number one, our own Jordan Klepper went on the road to find out. Last weekend, i went to beautiful baumy iowa to find out how they feel about kicking off primary season. I cannot be more excited to be in the center of the universe right now. Des moines, iowa, baby lets gee the caucus going. Its bleep caucus time daks time, baby the caucus is unlike no other event, access to the candidate. Andrew came to my house, was in friday front yard, shook my babies and kissed my hands. Like they were robots . Ive got a Christmas Card from joe biden and jill. I got one from tom steyer. You just dont count. I met cory booker over spring break. And i have the selfies to prove it. laughter it seems like any jackass can get up close and personal with the candidates. How did you enjoy your night out . Maybe youre new at this but were in iowa. What did i say . You said idaho. I have been in a lot of places. I was still learning and have one important question. Why is iowa first . I dont know. Were not sure why and i think a lot of other people are thinking the same thing, but just because we always have been, maybe. Is that a good enough reason . Not really. Why do you guys get to be first . Because its written into our constitution. Oh, i said it, right . Exactly. Is this because you called shotgun on democracy doesnt mean you get to sit up front. It is what it is, man. All right. I needed real iowa background and a beer. So i sat down with local columnist liz. How did iowa become first . In 1972 because of paperwork, and in 76 jimmy carter came in, won the caucuses and showed if you came to iowa, you could grab the attention of the nation. So it was basically a thanks to jimmy carter that iowa became a thing. The four little peanut farmers wanted to be president and said theres a place wrik go. Theyre farmers but they farm corn. And so i as well. You guys do soil as well. Its very, very very diverse here, thats what ive noticed. Its not diverse, and thats the problem. Whats the problem . Ith the caucuses. Were not diverse. In fact, iowa is over 90 white, so juliaaan castro, michl bloomberg and even the famously hostile usa today say iowa doesnt reflect the countrys demographic. Look at these whities that qualified for tonights debate. Im sure the rationale folks of iowa would agree. Theres been some criticism ofo iowa going first in the nation. I think theyre crazy. You understand the diversity issue. Were not giving up first place. Iowa isnt known for diversity but i contend im very diverse. I like to think iowa represents the country, its a melting pot. Its 90 white. Right. But the 10 thats not white is 100 not white. It is. Owa isnt the most diverse place. Rural could be a minority. . Thats a hot iowa take. Youre going to hear people say were wyatt, old. I didnt say that. Youre probably just saying that because youre trying to be respectful. Well, i did but it was two minutes ago and i forgot it. We try to be diverse. Have a huge latino portion. You can see it, right. Well maybe not in the people. In theory, it definitely is. Is. Practicality and reality, no. Right. But theoretically 100 . Its probably 50 50. Yeah. Okay, look, iowa is actually taking this seriously but theyve had the opportunity to be first for over 40 years. Theyre rationale people. So ill ask one more time, wouldnt our country benefit from picking up primary season for a state thats a bit more representative . Please dont go there with me. You dont want to go . I will. Ill go there with you. Go there with me . If you are a state that has civil discourse and is compassionate and openminded, obviously, we are diverse in our heart and, by nature. Im not doing that because im all White Privileged. Im saying it because its a real. But diversity in your heart is kind of a White Privilege thing. It is. Thats for all of us. E civil discourse in idaho is alive and well. Were in iowa. I keep doing that. Yes. What did i say . Idaho. And we are in iowa. Iowa. Iowa. Whatever, at least im not in ohio. cheers and applause trevor Jordan Klepper, everybody well be right back cheers and applause this friday. Lets get to work. Copy that. You can talk to animals . Yes. His superpower. Hello barry. Hello lunch. Will be tested. We have no choice, but to embark on this perilous journey. [ distant roar ] is he speaking. Dragon . Nobody told me thered be a dragon. [roar] [screams] im too beautiful to die. Whoohoo i wrote this a long time ago. I dont know how old i was. I hope someday i will be on a real football team. Im katie sowers, offensive assistant coach for the San Francisco 49ers. Im not just here to be the token female, im here to help us win. The surface pro helps me get whats in my head and get it out on to the field. I would want to tell this little girl to keep pushing herself, your dreams coming. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show. My guest tonight is a longtime republican strategist and nevertrump conservative. His latest book, out today, is called running against the devil a plot to save america from trump and democrats from themselves. Please welcome rick wilson cheers and applause thank you, trevor. Trevor you are an interesting breed of cat, as they would say back in the day, because you are a never trumper but you are still a republican and a conservative. Does that exist in this country . Conservative more than republican. Theres no Republican Party anymore. Its dead. Donald trump is like a parasite that ate its host from the inside out, its over. So im one of the small group of survivors from the old school of limited government, individual freedom and liberty, constitutional adherence. Theres not many of us. You could sit us around the table at a waffle house, most days, but were still sort of trying to hold the line in this very crazed era. Trevor its interesting you say that because a lot of republicans said that before trump became president. You know, we had people like Lindsey Graham on the show, rand paul on the show, and theyre, like, no, this is what we believe in and trump is not a republican. He became president and theyre, like, hes completely republican. So how do you begin to convince Republican Voters that donald trump is not a republican, or has he just redye find what that is now and is he the new conservative and are you now an outlier . Those guys are what we refer to in the business as liars and cowards. applause they are afraid of donald trump. They hate him. They feel hes an animated piece of excrement. They do not love this guy, they are afraid of him. The few of us who are willing tk luckily and stand against him, we are the last priests of a dying religion but we will uphold it as long as we can. Limited size of government, out the window, all the things these guys said were vital to them, follow the constitution ted cruz said he would set himself on fire if he didnt follow the constitution and now hes what ev. It doesnt matter anymore. Theyve let themselves be so debased and so utterly compromised that they think were the aliens, they think were the outliers, with they think were the wrong ones uh but im sorry, youve got to call it like it is and theyve given themselves over to a cult. Trevor i do appreciate youve not switched sides. Its not, like, im a democrat. Its, no, im still a conservative. Interestingly, you say save america from trump and democrats from themselves. Tell me what that means. What advice do you think you could give to democrats even though you dont exist in a