Im not getting pushed around anymore, you got it . So, go on. Anybody here wants to call me a towel, just go ahead and do it go on, sharon. Call me a towel. Fine. Youre a towel. Best towel you ever had, bitch from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Thank you all for coming out. Im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is the host of the masked singer, just one of the many jobs he has. Nick cannon is joining us, everybody. Also on tonights show, robots are taking over. Your shampoo can blow up your car and donald trump is getting impeached. cheers and applause . Trevor i know, i know, a very tragic time for the country. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with bore is johnson. British Prime Minister and ghost whose just soan a ghost. laughter he took time from the chaos of races to come and warm the United Nations of an even bigger threat that will affect the entire world. The robot apocalypse. You may keep your secrets from your friends, from your parents, your children, your doctor, even your personal trainer. But it takes real effort to conceal your thoughts from google, who will monitor your nightmares, your fridge will beep for more cheese, a future alexa will pretend to take orders but this alexa will be watching you, clucking her tongue, or bringing terrifying chick tone our table. laughter . Trevor i think the brexit pressure is getting to bore is. Because what was he even talking about . Your wireless humid fier will know your blood type, our roombas will make passionate love to our wives and robot barbers will give my, every one your haircut. Like i am not going to lie, this was a weird speech for bore toys give at the u. N. Although he was right at home giving the same speech on the subway at 4 a. M. He would fit right in. Yeah, the robots will steal our eyes and now ladies and gentlemen, im selling candy. Its not for my team, its for brexit. Im trying to pay for brexit. You know who i bet was loving bore is speech when this was happening was all the countries that britain has colonized in the past. Yeah because if is the United Nations so i bet half of african countries are saying now, oh someone takes over and kims you, tell me more, tell me more, keep going, keep going, bore is, keep being. Yeah, tell me more. Uhhuh. But st funny how humans always give speeches about robots destroying us as if humans arent already destroying us. We are already doing everything robots they say will do we, he are killing forests, burn killing each other, but when the robots come, things are going to get bad. Bore sis par nied, rob outs arent taking over, so lets move on. This exciting new story from the world of technology. Boston dynamics released its latest robot, that bad boy is doing gymnastick named atlas, it stands nearly five feet tall, has i complete series of somersaults, jumps, twists and a hand stand before stucking the landing. Trevor okay. Maybe bore is was right. That was interesting. Al agile robots will do front flips and steel our medals at the olympics. It would be weird if they let robots into the olympics because what would you award them with. It cant be medals, you will give them a bronze and they will be like, this medal used to be my father. And like here is the thing. I know this video freaks some people out, right, cuz they watch it and they are like that is so scary, look at what robots can do now. Videos like this give me hope. They always assume robots only have one purpose, to rule humans and to take over the planet but maybe some robots just want to dance, huh . Yeah. Ruling might not be for every robot. Some are going to be like human, prepare to surrender, and then one that humans prepare to get down. Look, im doing the human. Aha, aha. applause all right, finally, here say Health Warning if you use dry shampoo. Be careful where you keep it bus it could turn out to blow up more than just your hair. And a mother is sounding the alarm about dry shampoo, a missouri woman sharing these really insane photos after she claims a can exploded in her daughters car and blew off the cover of the center console, also sharyted the sun roof before landing nearly 50 feet away. Thankfully no one was hurt. Trevor wow. Okay, the good news is that no ones with hurt, the even better news is that now shes got a convertible. But this is why i dont use dry shampoo. Like whenever im in my car i use regular shampoo, its much safer. laughter i also guess the bad news is now everyone knows dry shampoo can explode which means it is yet another thing that tsa is going to have to confiscate before a flight. They will be pulling people out of line, sir, we have to take you in for extra screening, what, why, because your hair is gorgeous. All right, that is it for the headlines shall lets move on to our top story. Pause plaws impeachment, stt constitutional way to swipe left on a president. After a whistleblower accused President Trump of usings had office to pressure the president of ukraine to investigate joe biden, nancy pelosi, speaker of the house and woman who hasnt blinked since y2k responded yesterday by launching an official impeachment investigation. And as you can imagine, since then things have only escalated. So lets catch up on all the latest developments in our ongoing segment, the fantastic, absolutely tremendous road to impeachment. No other president should ever have to go through with this. President ial herr rassment and we know how to handle that. You cant impeachment somebody for that sts way i feel. Trevor when he left off last night the democratk announcement of an impeachment inquiry had trump up against the ropes so in response, trump said that he would release a transcript of the phone call he had with ukraines president and trump claim this transcrypt would prove that he is so innocent, the most innocent person. But now we have all seen the transscript and im starting to wongder if trump even read it. Just released transcrypt of a phone call shows President Trump asking ukrainian president zel ensky to investigate his political rival joe biden and in this call the president repeatedly stresses how of the u. S. Does for ukraine and then he says quote i would like you to do us a favor. On the call the president said the other thing, there is a lot of talk about bidens son, that biden stopped the prosecution and a lot of people want to find out about that. So whatever you can do with the attorney general would be great. He issued the Justice Department to forward his political aims so barr is stuck in the middle of this. This is again the definition, if you look up in the dictionary of abuse of power. This is abuse of power. Trevor yes, the transcrypt of the call is out. And not only did trump definitely ask the president of the ukraine to work with his personal lawyer slash vampire henchman to investigate joe biden, he also tried to rope in the United States attorney general. And if that happens, that is a big deal. Because a president cant go around using the justice dpt as his personal task rabbit, that is not allowed it is the same way an employee at domino was get into trouble for drying his lawnry in the pizza oven, okay. You can do it but dont be shocked when dominoes impeaches your ass. And you might be wondering, is if this phone call is so damn yg did trump even release the transcrypt, only an idiot would do that, exactly. And also, and also applause this is what trump does. He does this all the time. Like trump is the only person who would do something so bad right out in the open that it makes you question whether it is actually bad. Right. It is luke a powerful thing but the same way that kayne can walk around basically if rags but because he does it so ruff confidently we just go i guess that was the style now. I wish i looked luke i was attacked by hungry bad gers . And if you are thinking wait, how do we even know exactly what trump said on that call to a foreign leader, well, apparently all calls in the white house are recorded for Quality Assurance purposes. We should note that at the bottom of this log there is a disclaimer that this is not a quote verbatim transcrypt of a discussion, a senior white house official says that there is Voice Recognition software that puts the thrans crypt out, what it calls a transcript and then those who would listen the phone call look over that to make sure that st an accurate reading. Trevor the software that monitors the president s callsk writes it down and someone checks it. Can i say i feel so bad for whatever Voice Recognition software has to try and make sense of what donald trump is saying. Cuz you realize that computer is programmed to recognize normal human speech patterns not the donald. Is he out there like i say, i say, they were so big, not as big, electoral college, ginna the wall, big time, bigly and all, thats me. Yeah, hon honestly the computer probably listens to ten seconds to trump and throws itself in a like kill me. So look, the transcrypt is back. But as bad as this seems for trump, this transcrypt has turned into a political rorschach test. Democrats see a smoking gun that proves donald trump abused his power and deserves to lose his job. Republicans see a man who is innocent and is just passionate about cracking down encore ruption in ukraine. And i see my dad forgetting my birthday even though we were born on the same day. laughter so if you are on team trump, this transcrypt wasnt a disaster, it was a total win. This call did not, this is my opinion, did not contain a smoking gun. Did not contain anything that could be used to impeach the president of the United States. Now that we have seen the transcrypt, there is no there, there. From my point of view to impeach any president over a phone call like this would be insane. The bottomline here is that in this transcrypt there is no quid pro quo, there is no improper leverage and the overall tone of this transcrypt is that it is mutually laudatory. You look at that you will ka, it was perfect. I didnt do it, there was no quid pro quo. Trevor thats right, folks there is no quid pro quo. Because i would never speak latin on my calls. laughter so in a nutshell, that was day two on the road to impeachment. The white house released the transcrypt, congress has officially received the full whistleblowers report and well have to wait to find out what happens next. And it could be anything. We could find out that mike pence also pressured ukraine on a call or we could find out the secret identity of the whistleblower. Spoiler alert, i think it is tack shall aye of the, until then, until then, we dont know anything. What we do know is that trumps de fenders have already decided on their big talking point and that is that this whole thing is a nothing burger because there was no explicit quid proco. In other words President Trump may have asked the ukrainian leader for a favor but he didnt say do the favor, or no military support. But lets be honest. You dont need to be explicit to set up a shady deal. I mean if you have ever watched any mafia anything, you know that explicit is the exact opposite of what they do i mean it is like this scene from the sopranos. Listen, danny, we just want you to know how glad we are a guy like you is on the jury. That junior soprano trial. I got that. What are you doing. It say privilege, hardworking guy, wife and two kids, performing a civic duty we should all take part . We know you will do the right thing. Trevor now, this may shock you but that man man was not actually being friendly to that other man. laughter but i guess its too subtle for trump and his de fenders, if they wrote for the sopranos that scene would have gone por like this. Hey danny, i need you to find my boss not guilty or well murder your family. Oh, i see, like a quid pro quo. Exactly. This is a quid pro quo. laughter . Trevor you figure it out for yourself, well be right back. Back. applause they say were we say playfuls never done dont fight the feeling just let it flow stack it up, rack it up, let it go i got a secret the world should know lets stay playful, oreo introducing kfcs newest 5 fill its Finger Lickin. Owl. Ooooh cheese. Ooooh chicken. Cheese chicken 5 . chiken cheeeeeeeeeese look at all those 5 fill ups. Kfc. Its Finger Lickin good. Well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. [flicker of lights] [hum of fan] [sound of door opening] im not regular i will not give you regular [click, click, click] [click, click, click] [flicker of lights] im not regular i will not give you regular at an age when most people are Robert Mondavi was focused on putting good wine on every american table. Its that spirit that lives on in every bottle of woodbridge by Robert Mondavi. Woodbridge by Robert Mondavi. From one for all. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. A lot of people think that impeaching trump will be totally democrat partisan, democrats will support it while republicans will write it off like Jussie Smollett on em poor but as it turns out there are actually republican who want trump gone too. In fact several gop candidates have officially launched primary against thim, they launched a primary debate, we sent roy wood, jr. To check it out. Stt first republican debate. And being a veteran of the spin room, i knew 2 was going to be jampacked with excitement. Covered by the whos who of the nations most elite journalists. And i just happened to score an exclusive pass to this amazing what the hell is this . What if we head downstairs. Cant go down there. Not allowed in the debate. I get t i get it security risk. Trump is down there. Trumps not here. Thats cool, we got three candidates, three solid candidates. Two candidates. Two candidates. Still okay. Debate will be covered by all national networks. Which channel is the debate. It is on facebook. There is a facebook page. So we watched this historical debate on Facebook Live with about 900 other people in the entire country. 15 of which were in this room. And it seemed like the hottest topic was how much trump stuck sucked. The spt a sick man. Donald trump say horrible human being. He is a mall ig nant narcissist he say dictator. Just when it was getting juicy. The republican president ial primary debate. I knew from past experience when that debate ends you have got to rush to get a vip spot in the spin room. As the candidates came into the room, the reporters were becoming animalistic, anxious to get answers. And after ten minutes of being patient, finally my turn to ask the perfect question. Thank you, have a good night, thank you. Oh, damn. applause . Trevor wait so you didnt sct candidates a single question. I was still eating cheese. My mouth was full, man, but dont worry i panninged to get on a oneonone interview with governor weld. Trevor is he the candidate trump should be worried about . I dont know if it is a candidate to worry about, but as a man, we should all be worried about. Youz. Trump has called all of you the three stooges. Now in no way do i want to validate this childish bullying, insulting game that the president is playing, but which of the three stooges are you. I would be the guy who cant see holding the strings, moving them. It changes the goal post sign. Damn. The fourth stooge, pulling the strings the whole time. You are the architect from the matrix. laughter youll never know, roy, that i was cutting your throat until you turned to laugh at me and your head falls off. It was good meeting you. My pleasure, roy. Not getting my throat cut. Trevor you wont even know your throat is cut until you turn your head and it falls what does that even mean . laughter i dont know what it means, but i havent turned my head since. Trevor roy wood, jr. , trevor roy wood, jr. , everyone, well be right back. When your energy is spent but there is so much more you want to do. New starbucks tripleshot energy. 225 mg of caffeine for the energy to do what matters to you. What gives you energy . [upbeat action music] pilot were going to be on the tarmac for another 45 minutes or so. Upbeat music no coverup spray here. Cheaper aerosols can cover up odors in a flowery fog. But febreze air effects eliminates odors. With a 100 natural propellent. It leaves behind a pleasant scent youll love. [ deep inhale] freshen up. Dont cover up. Febreze. Herebuy a bunch of reeses. Ck. uh huh, there you go turn off all the lights in your house. yeah yeah trick or treat and then just dont answer the door. Not sorry, reeses. Romance isnt dead but it is here. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guests tonight, an accomplished entertain are an prn pren who hosts the hit fox competition series the masked singer. I think you are a performer who happens to sing very well. Maybe Luke A Lindsey low hand. What . That is like a. She say singer. She didnt like that. She is a singer. Ladybug you dont want to mess with. This means yes in ladybug language, okay. This means you crazy. You are a genius, ken and are you the smartest judge on the parn el and way taller than nick cannon, drop the imaginary mic. Trevor please welcome nick cannon. applause thank you. Trevor welcome back to the show. Thank you, man, thanks for having me, i love this show, man. Congratulations on season two of the masked singer am i feel like you have hosted every major, like show now, are you just like the guy that they call . Are you just the first name. Im the friendly black guy other than you. laughter . Trevor no, but see that is the thing, you even joke about it, but you are extremely successful, man, we are halving you on the show today, and today i read the news about how you are going to launch a syndicated talk show around the country, like a daytime talk show, nick cannon. S. I mean honestly, man, ive been inspired by people hike yourself, and wendy williams, ellen. And i felt like, once i left americas got talent is with like yorks, i want to el elevate where i can use my voice for good. I started developing a late night show. I was going to be your competition, i didnt want that smoke. So i said daytime, you know, i kind of filled in for wendy a couple of times. Io. Trevor great job. Thank you, man, i appreciate that. So you no you will see me each and every day, start with me and end with trevor, there st. Maws plaws. Trevor what i love about this journey is that you dabbled in a little bit of everything and have been suk sestles. I will be there if you have me, an arena tour that goes around the country, you brought your music and then of course people know you now on pow 106 where you are on the radio, so you are doing that every day on the radio. But at the same time as your hood ye tells us. Go to cool, im in college. Trevor but this is real. The real. Trevor what are you studying now. Since 2016 i have been getting my undergrad in criminology. And i walked in may, i graduate. So undergrad in criminology, work on my masters already. In psychology. And then hopefully all the way to the doctorate, to the ph. D and all of that. applause . Trevor i mean most people think of school as an avenue that gets you to the place where you can make money, nick cannon is already making money, why go to school, to get some of that sweet college debt s that what you are looking for. You know, all of that salie may, all them good things. No, but honestly, and it sounds cliche, one, i learned that education is true wealth. And that sense of being a father, i wanted to be an example because my kids are spoiled little brats. But they, if i can be an exam toll example to say you can have all the material things but all of that can be taken away. They can never take your education away. And as i have learned through this journey going through an learn sog much about myself, i mean, Nelson Mandela said it the best. I mean education is the most powerful weapon one can use to change the world. And so im just trying to do my part, man. applause . Trevor you definitely started on a journey that people have noticedk myself included where nick cannons message has changed from just jokes to now being jokes and also informing people about, as you say, the culture. You have become very pro, you know, spreading a message of inclusivity, become proeducation and history and information, black people in the america, black people as they tie to africa. It all gets disenfranchised people. Trevor what is that about . Like what do you hope to achieve in and around just the black community in america. I mean, honestly, i just wanted to be more than just a celebrity out here talking and i wanted to really dig am, that is why criminology was so important, because each and every week i go into prisons and facilities of incarceration. And now even though im studying the mind of like what makes a society rally around an idea of imprisoned, you know, even those concepts of like we have to go all the way to the root of the issue and say as humanity, how do we fix this thing and get back together on just a human level. Lets fix it at the root. Issue and then we can get to every other issue and not be divided you about be as one. applause i like that, see, that was deep for a second. Trevor no, but here is one thing i always wondered about nick cannon, people see you on wild enough, on tv shows. Are you not afraid to take the joke, not afraid to turn it on yourself, not afraid to make fun of yourself. Some people think are you cheesy. Cheesy, co carmely, all that. Trevor but, but, i think it is like part of your game as nick cannon where you realized that you can get a lot further when people dont see you coming than if they perceive you as a threat. Shhh, done tell them my secret, trevor, honestly, it vl is, it goes back, us being comedians, you know the power of selfdeprecating humor it puts the audience at ease, it puts everyone on an even Playing Field and when you get to that place, where you understand, humanitier is where you can see something an laugh at it and laugh at yourself, laugh at your inscierts, we all have them, we all have differences and shouldnt be we are afraid to talk about them, no, i know i got pencil legs, so what. I am out here, recognizing these pencil legs. Like, and then when you can do that, then you can get to the real issues at hand and everything from Mental Health to bullying, all these things that are real issues that people are afraid to deal with, you can deal with on a human willful thasm is all im trying to get to. Trevor stay full spectrum of everything, pencil legs all the way through to ph. D. Thanks so much for being on the show, nick cannon, the masked singer on wednesdays at 8 p. M. On fox. Nick cannon, ever. Nick cannon, ever. Well be right back. Therthen he tried tostitoshael scoops and salsa. And he started following them in real life. Hey, mike. Sup. Oh tostitos. Get together already. Good morning. Good night. The allnew versa the most techadvanced car in its class. This is nissan intelligent mobility. The most techadvanced car in its class. Hey. Hey. You must be stevens phone. Now you can take control of your home wifi and get a notification the instant someone new joins your network. Only with xfinity xfi. Download the xfi app today. Does this make you oh, how about this . Ok, well stop. Just kidding, were not gonna stop. Not sorry. Reeses but there is so much more you want to do. New starbucks tripleshot energy. 225 mg of caffeine for the energy to do what matters to you. What gives you energy . Trevor well, thats our show for tonight, lights out with david spade is coming up next, but first here it is, your moment of zen. That s that plausible . I mean it just i guess i sort of feel like it is like were watching a champagne bottle being shake enand shake enand shake enand shake enand shake enand shaken and shaken and shaken an shaken and shaken and captioning sponsored by