Trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out i appreciate you. Lets do this. Im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is an actor from suits now starring in a brandnew Spinoff Series called pearson. Gina torres is joining us, everybody. cheers and applause also on tonights show, Robert Mueller finally testifies on capitol hill; lewis black heads to the beach; and if you have a snow globe, you could be smuggling drugs. So lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with some breaking news from puerto rico. After weeks of protests over corruption and leaked text messages, Governor Ricardo Rossello is expected to resign from office. Yeah. applause hes going out. applause now, he said he doesnt want to do it, and hes reportedly devastated and crying tears over the situation. Luckily, President Trump threw him some boxes of kleenex to dry his eyes. laughter and while puerto rico is saying goodbye to its leader, Great Britain is welcoming a new one. Breaking news overseas, Boris Johnson officially becoming the british Prime Minister today, replacing theresa may. I have just been to see her majesty, the queen, who has invited me to form a government, and i have accepted. This photo shows johnson meeting the queen at Buckingham Palace to formally take power. Trevor oh, man. Like, i feel bad for the queen, right . Once upon a time she was appointing people like winston churchill, and now she spends all her time meeting with blondhaired shrecks. laughter its like, she must be like, arent you americas president . No, no, maam. Im a different weirdlooking man. And you know she has no bleep left to give. Because she didnt even bother taking off her purse. She looks like shes making a brexit of her own, like shes off to do something else. Sorry, i cant chitchat. Im off to watch john wick 3. Best of luck. And i dont blame her for not caring because, remember, this is her 14th Prime Minister, her 14th, yeah, and the second one in the past three years. So you know shes over it. The queen is like a mom who is sick of meeting her kids new boyfriends. Shes like another one, great. Is this a real deal now or just another bleep buddy. In other news, if youve ever gotten food delivered to your house using an app, you probably tipped a person for not spitting in your food. But now it turns out your tip might have been going to someone else. Its no surprise when you have food delivered it costs more because of the delivery fees and, of course, the tip. But more people are bringing attention to what happens to those tips. Some companies, like doordash and amazonflex, could take that tip and make it part of the drivers minimum pay. Heres how that works. Drivers are guaranteed a minimum per order, say 10. Well, the customer tips three bucks. In some cases, instead of the driver making 13, they still only made 10 because the tip went toward their minimum payment. The Delivery Service now only has to pay the other 7. Its called tipped wage. Trevor okay, thats just shitty, man. Yeah, it turns out some delivery apps have been taking the finds that we give and then counting it against the delivery persons salary, which is trash, right . People already dont earn a lot. If you think the tips would help and then they count it. It shouldnt count towards their salary. Like, theyre completely separate things. Its like how birthday sex shouldnt count as normal sex, yeah . Its a separate system. Thats what i told my wife when she said, we already had sex this week. I said no, thats birthday sex. Look at the spreadsheets. Im joking. I dont have a wife. She left me because i kept a spreadsheet of our sex. This is just another reminder of how america has the weirdest rules about tipping. I dont know how american rules of tipping work. Youre supposed to tip barbers. Youre supposed to tip waiters, cab drivers, but when you try to tip a police officer, apparently thats an illegal bribe. laughter finally, some news from australia. Because the island is isolated, countries to smuggle drugs into, its one of the hardest countries to smuggle drugs into, but if theres one thing el chapo has taught us, its where there is a will theres a way. Criminals got very creative when trying to smuggle Illegal Drugs into australia. Police announced yesterday they obtained 15 snowglobe containing crystal meth worth 1 million. The snow globes were xrayed after the contraband arrived from candidate. They tested positive for the addictive and dangerous substance. Trevor theres meth in globes . Snow globes . laughter damn, grandma. I didnt you partied so hard laughter applause cheers i see you. And you know what . I wouldnt be surprised if every i wouldnt be surprised if every snow globe on the planet was filled with meth. Because why else do those things still exist . laughter you realize snow globes are basically just victorian screen savers, right . Its 2019. There are no little boys out there like, papa, can i shake the snowglobe . Oh, how i find great joy watching pretend snow fall, for three seconds at a time, papa. Its all drugs. In fact if you think about it there were a bunch of things i could have told you were suspicious. For instance, the hour glass. Why are those things still around . Im suspicious those are all just cocaine now. It doesnt make any sense. We have iphones now. You can just download the hour glass app. Come on, people. All right, thats it for the headlines. Lets move on to our main story. cheers and applause Robert Mueller, former special counsel and dad who totally know when youve been smoking. For two years his investigation into trump, russia, and election meddling have consumed the nation and the news. And when he finally released his 450page report, many thought it would shake america to its core. The only issue was, it was 450 pages too long. And because it didnt contain any boy wizards, no one wanted to read it. In fact, in fact, this is true, polls show that only 7 of americans have read the entire report, yes. And the other 93 were like, ill just wait for the movie. laughter well, today, the movie came out. Because today, Robert Mueller testified live on capitol hill. The president has repeatedly claimed that your report found there was no obstruction and that it completely and totally exonerated him. But that is not what your report said, is it . Correct, that is not what the report said. And what about total exoneration . Did you actually totally exonerate the president . No. Now, in fact, your report expressly states that it does not exonerate the president . It does. Under department of justice policy, the president could be prosecuted for obstruction of justice crimes after he leaves office, correct . True. Trevor whoa yeah. According to Robert Mueller. The president can be charged with obstruction of justice once he leaves office. So you know what that means. Trump is never leaving office. laughter yeah. He hears that, the secret service is going to be banging on the oval office door like, sir, you need to leave. Hell be like, no housekeeping, thank you laughter so, for the democrats, the mueller hearing got off to a great start. Within the first five minutes, mueller confirmed that his report did not exonerate trump and that he could go to prison after he leaves office. But to be honest, this was as god as it got, because when the democrats tried to get mueller to give them juicy soundbites beyond a simple yes or no, he just didnt take the bait. On that same page, page 97, do you see where theres the intent section on that page . I do. Would you be willing to read the first sentence . And that was starting with. Substantial evidence. Indicates that the president. If you could read that first sentence . If you would be willing to do that. Id be happy to have you do it. Ill read it, then. Trevor nice try, nice try, but mueller isnt playing those games. Hes like the worlds least cooperative audiobook. Chapter one, you know what you . Know how to read. Go get the book. Read it yourself. laughter and, like, because mueller refused to read out damning passages of his own report for the cameras, some democrats thought it would be a good idea to take matters into their own hands and mueller just wouldnt play along. Donald trump, one, committed an obstructive act. Two, connected to an official proceeding. Three, did so with corrupt intent. Those are the elements of obstruction of justice. This is the United States of america. No one is above the law. No one. The president must be held accountable one way or the other. Let me let me just say, if i might, i dont subscribe, necessarily, to your the way you analyzed that. Im not saying its out of the ballpark, but im not supportive of that analytical charge. Thank you. Trevor thank you. laughter have you ever seen, like, those videos where a player will shoot a threepoint shot and then they celebrate, celebrate as the ball bounces off rim . Have you seen that . That was the congressional version of that shot. Thats what that was. Because jeffries was confident, he was confident that mueller was on his side. And then he didnt know what to say afterwards. Its like when you want to win an argument. Mike agrees with me, right, mike . No, i dont. My man that was, basically, the entire day for the democrats, right . It started off well, but they really tried to get mueller to give them the soundbite that would help them end the trump presidency, but he kept on rejecting them like a special counsel dikembe mutombo. No, no, no. And as for republicans, they had a very different agenda to the democrats today. You see, they were trying to portray mueller as incompetent, inconsistent, and biased. They brought up the fact that most of his investigators supported hillary clinton. They complained that mueller constructed himself. And they even argued that he couldnt be fair to trump because he was friends with some of trumps enemies. You and james comey have been good friends, or were good friends for many years, correct . No, we were business associates. We both started off in the Justice Department about the same time. You were good friends. You can Work Together and not be friends, but you and comey were friend. We were friends. Trevor oh, man poor james comey. Imagine finding out your friend isnt your friend in front of a Live National audience. Yeah, because in interviews comey was like, this guy is my ride or die. And now mueller is like we only hung out because he had a nintendo, okay . laughter in defense of that republican congressman, i get why he was so into this. Its important for him to make this distinction. He was like just abuse you work with someone doesnt mean your friends. Because im not friends with ted cruz you hear me i am not friends with ted cruz. So after seven hours of testimony, the truth is we didnt learn anything new. And to be fair, Robert Mueller warned us about this a couple of months ago. He said if you call me to testify, i wont tell you anything new. So he spent most of the hearing today telling the rest of us to do our homework. When you talk about the president s pattern of conduct, that would include the 10 possible acts of obstruction that you investigated, correct . I direct you to the report for how that is characterized. Did mccgahn do what the president asked . I refer you to the report. Again, i send you the report where that is stated. I refer you to the the report. I direct you again to the report. I refer to the report on that episode. I refer you to the report if i could. I will send you back to the report. laughter trevor i refer you to the report laughter poor Robert Mueller, man. The guy spent two years writing up an incredibly thorough document, and now people are badgering him with questions hes already answered. It would be like if jesus came back and then we spent hours asking him to explain stuff that was in the bible. Mr. Christ, the book of exodus says mathat a man should not covet his neighbors wife. But what if shes like really hot. I i think i answered this in the script youures. But im talking smoking hot come on im going to be honest with you guys. Today was never about learning anything new from the mueller report. Heres what it is. Democrats wanted mueller to condemn trump on camera so they would have those bites because a lot of people havent read the report. And the republicans want to use the opportunity so mueller could admit the whole thing was biased from the start. But to his credit, mueller refused to play partisan games. He is as impartial as respected. I assume, i havent read it. Come on now. The point is mueller wasnt going to give anybody the answers they wanted to hear, including our own correspondents. I sent them to washington, d. C. With questions of their own. Mr. Mueller, im still hung up on this thing they dont quite understand. In the finale of game of thrones denarius went crazy burned everything down. And then the bird boy became king . I would say that is summary. Dumb watching these white people shows. Does the empire still come home . Mr. Mueller, i have one question and one question only, where is the clitoris. I will refer you to the report for that. I never learned to read, genius. I was too busy sleeping with women i couldnt satisfy. Maybe you could draw me a diagram or point it out on a ken doll or something. Id have to pass on that. Damn it i guess ill never know. I auditioned for the cats movie did you you see the trailer. Yes. Why did ian mckellan have a major role . He had some role but not a major role. But you would agree that would be way better than jennifer bleep hudson. Im not going to talk about that. Memories im not going to talk about that. Got it. Thank you for your service. Trevor great job, team. We tried. Well be right back. cheers and applause nothing gets a familys full attention like my freshly prepared chicken. The delicious kfc 20 fill up. With eight pieces of extra Crispy Chicken and sides, well surely get your kids off their phones. And they may even look at you. Their loving parent. Kfc, its Finger Lickin good. Im sloane stephens, and i bounce back with chocolate milk. Gatorade. Packs carbs to refuel and electrolytes to replenish so you can bring the heat. Nothing beats gatorade. Guys, cmon. Ow. Quit it. Stop. Ok, do i have to break you guys apart . Ow. Cmon. Ow. Stop touching me thats it. If you dont stop, i will eat all of you alive right now uh. I prefer the break us apart option. Introducing the m ms chocolate bar. Tthousands of nightsf sonspent under it,on, a dozen people whove walked on it, and one unmistakable beer named for it. Celebrating those who 50 years ago took us to the moon. And none of us have ever kissed and were scared. We need to see real people kissing. Just go online and type in how to kiss. Are you 18 or older . Eww. How many husbands does she have . [ screaming ] my parents have a cpr doll. We can practice kissing on that. This is a really pretty cpr doll. Come on, the party is just over there. [ screaming ] im fine ill just live here. Were bad. Were so bad. cheers and applause . Trevor welcome back to the daily show. When a new story falls through the cracks, lewis black cawrptses it for a segment we call back in black. cheers and applause its summertime that wonderful time of the year when the sun is out, kids are playing and i sweat so much my shirt turns into a map of the middle east. My nipple is the gaza strip. You dont want to go anywhere near it and on the hottest days you have a few options. You can hydrate. You can stay indoors, or you could always go to the beach, but only if you want to die. Sharks, summertime, close encounters. Scares just feet from shore. Out of the water in south carolina, a shark in kneedeep water just feet away from swimmers. Screaming. And in new jersey, a 16foot great white feasting on a bag of bait before swimming away. This year, hawaii has already seen twice as many attacks as they did all of last year. Ask just last week, this great white was tracked near new yorks long island. When a white shark bites a person it is a mistake because it thinks that person is a seal laughter . Wait a minute so if the white shark is biting you its a mistake, but if a black shark gets caught with just a little bit of weed, it goes to jail for life that doesnt seem fair cheers and applause and, also, what do you mean if i get bitten its because i look like a seal . So now im getting eaten, and body shamed. Talk about adding insult to injury and if youre thinking no problem, ill just stay in the Shallow Water where its safe, well, good luck, sucker. There are new concerns about rare but potentially deadly flesheating bacteria bacteria found in warm waters. Potentially adidas flesheating bacteria can enter the watt through a scrape. It causes 80,000 illnesses a year. Dont be afraid of the ocean. But be aware of whats going on. Be aware its bacteria. What am i supposed to do, snorkel with a mike are scope . At least with a shark i can hear the fin and the jaws music. I can see the fin. But flesheating bacteria is a silent killer. Like jason. laughter its what ive always respected about hum. Hes in for the stabbing, not the chitchat. laughter also, whats with these bacteria . They never eat the flesh that i dont want. laughter how about instead of my leg, why dont you guys talk a nipple on my love handles. That way you still get to eat, and i dont look like a seal laughter applause so cheers so its dangerous in the water. Its dangerous close to the water. And you think youre safe way up on the beach . You better duck a warning about a surprising summer danger beach umbrellas flying through the area, seriously injuring beachgoers. In ocean city, maryland, in 2015, a bystander filming as the wind picks up hes umbrellas and turns them into projectiles. The situation is incredibly dangerous. Over the last 10 years there have been reports of over 32,000 injuries related to umbrellas across the country. Did you see that laughter its an exwrae umbrella uprisin. We always thought it was going to be the robots. We never suspected the umbrellas. laughter and who can blame them for organizing . We treat them like shit they only get pulled out in the extreme heat or the rain. Wire never like, oh, its a beautiful day, my umbrella deserves a walk. laughter but on the plus side, if you survive an umbrella impaling at least youll never need to buy sunscreen again. So whether its sharks or bacteria, or umbrellas, everything on the beach wants you dead but dont worry, kids. You can just simulate the experience at home. Just turn off your air conditioning. Stand in the tub with a pina claida, and shove a fistful of sand up your ass. Happy summer, everybody trevor. Trevor lewis black, everybody. Well be right back. Once upon a time i was drinking dos equis, now im just waiting at the bar. Theres nothing i can do theres a really big crowd at the bar. Summer jams with dos equis keep it interesante. Summer jams with dos equis applebees all you can eat is back. Now thats eatin good in the neighborhood. Whoa. Travis in it made it. Its amazing. Oh is that traviss app . Its pretty cool, isnt it . Theres two of them. Theyre multiplying. No, guys, its me. See, im real. Im real he thinks hes real. Geico. Over 75 years of savings and service. Yof your daily routine. Lf so why treat your mouth any differently . Listerine® completes the job by preventing plaque, early gum disease, and killing up to 99. 9 of germs. Try listerine® and for onthego, try listerine® ready tabs™ at pure leaf, real tea leaves we blend the finest tea leaves and brew them at a lower temperature for a smooth delicious real brewed iced tea. Im alex white, pure leaf tea master. Our thing is tea. Ooohhhh belvita breakfast biscuits to get you through your nine, ten and your elevena. M. Team mixer. Made with a delicious blend of grains. Get 4 hours of Lasting Energy to outlast your morning. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is an actor and executive producer who stars in the new u. S. A. Network series pearson. Please welcome gina torres cheers and applause trevor welcome to the show. Thank you. So happy to be here. Trevor i have been a fan of yours for such a long tomb. Suits was huge in south africa. All of my friends and i would argue acting like we were lawyers. What do you think of the merits. We knew nothing. You played the character for so many years, and people loved you in that role so much, that now your character, jessica, has moved on to a spinoff show. Yes. Trevor which is really exciting. Congratulations. Thank you, thank you so much, thank you. cheers and applause yes. Trevor let me ask you a question. Why do you think jessica, just like resonated with people in a way where audiences and networks were like, no, she needs to have her own show . Oh, my god, how often do you get an example of a woman that just typifies excellence . Trevor right. Everything about her was impeccable. She had a harvard law degree. She was the smartest person in the room. She knew how to get things done. She dressed like for the masses. I mean, just i mean, she was ridiculously perfect. And she was fearless. And can so, people want to be that. And the fact that it was this person. Trevor yes. cheers and applause this this woman. Shes a woman. Shes awe woman of color. And that was the lowest thing on the list. She never led with that. She always led with her intelligence. Trevor right. Her integrity. Her balls. Laugh applause . Trevor it really was one of the aspects of the character that really resonated with people was an image that not many people get to see. A powerful black woman who wasnt defined just by the color of her scun. It was part of what made her but not what defined her. Absolutely. Trevor were seeing it in the new character. Jessica is in chicago but in politics now. Why chicago . Why politics . Chicago is this microcosm of whats going on, on a national level, and to some degree, on a global level. Trevor right. Theres everything there. Theres theres political corruptness, theres gang violence, theres immigration issues. Theres an incredible and growing disparity between not just the races but, also, on a socioeconomic level. And so we just chip away at it. Trevor and its an interesting hot bed to have her live in, because, you know, weve seen your character as a strict lawyer, just the law and the facts yes. Trevor but politics is all about emotion, you know. Its policy but its the emotion that comes with that. Whats interesting about the show is we tonight know dp woo like or hate what your character is doing throughout the show, because she keeps that barrier up. That was purposefully created . Absolutely. Well, it was part and parcel what made jessica so interesting. She was quite an enigma in suits. You never really knew where she was going to come from because she was always seven steps ahead of everyone else. For those who love jessica, dont worry, we got you. Jessica pearson the woman that you know is present. Now you get to see the whole woman. You get to see what motivates her on a personal level. You get to see what motivates her on a professional level. Is she power hungry, really . Or is she at a place in her life where shes using her power mostly for good and not aisle. Trevor it seems in many ways you share the drive your character, jessica, does. Youre exclusive producing the show. You have been staffing the writers room. You have been at the forefront of saying, hey, i want this show and its creators to represent the people in the show. Where you said, its not tokenism. I want real diversity on the show. I want black and white. I want afrolatina which has been very important for you. Why . Because who else is going to tell our stories if not us . We have been applause for years, for decadeswehave been watching ourselves through the lens of white writers, of white, male wriewrts. Thats just and they dont get it right a lot of the time. laughter quite frankly. Even best of them are just, well, can you. And there have been a couple of times when we were doing can suits where i would have to talk to the writer and say if were going to go there, then go there. Trevor wow. Dont just, you know, say that you went there because you stepped in the door way. Go in the door. Open up a window. Sit in the room. Trevor right. And stay there for a minute. applause and so thats what were doing. Were going through the door. Trevor if you look at jessicas journey, weve seen her in law, weve seen her now consulting in politics. Do you think that one day shed run for office as president of the United States . It would be her time, wouldnt it . Trevor it definitely would. Well, stay tuned. Well see. Trevor thank you very much for being on the show. Wonderful having you here. Pearson airs wednesday at 10 p. M. On the u. S. A. Network. Gina torres, everybody. Well be right back. Well be right back. cheers and applause [text tone] [text tone] [text tone] nice mmmmmm so nice nice woman on phone discover. Hi. Do you have a travel card . Yep. Our miles card. Earn unlimited 1. 5 miles and well match it at the end of your first year. Nice im thinking about a scuba diving trip. Woman ooh gasp or not. You okay . Yeah, no, im good. Earn miles. Well match em at the end of your first year. Yeah, no, im good. The hazelnut spread m msve all been wspokescandy clapping audience gasps oh my what did you do . . giggles we ate him. See . Romance isnt dead but it is here. Thanks, captain obvious. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Why are you here . Why are you here . Why are either of you here . hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Wthats right. K pretty disappointed. Buckle up. There he is. Steady the elbow. Shoot me one . Ahh boom shaka laka. Feisty. Ahh i can taste my beer i can taste my beer. I can taste his beer. I can taste your beer. I want to taste his beer. Samuel adams sam 76. Finally, a refreshing lager that you can taste. Barb, i can taste my beer. Trevor well, thats our show for tonight. Here it is, your moment of zen. You served in vietnam and earned a bronze star and a purple heart, correct zoo correct. ding when president appointed you to become the United States attorney from massachusetts . Which senator . Which president . Oh, which president . sighs i think that was president push. According to my notes sufficiency president ronald reagan. Under Whose Administration did you serve as the assistant attorney general in chancht dogecoins Criminal Division . Which president . Yup. That would be george bush one. That is correct. President george h. W. Bush. When you were named director of the f. B. I. , which president first appointed you . Bush. And the Senate Confirmed you with a vote of 980. Correct . Surprising. cheers and applause [ suspenseful theme plays ] sad news from the citys south side, where yet another senseless act of violence has authorities baffled. For more, we go live to chicago 22s a. P. Scott