comparemela.com

Join me in loving him. Mwawwww all right. Hugs and kisses to robert and chris and to all of you. Thank you. [ cheers and applause ] thats it thats it. Thats it thats it. Goodnight goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight. Thank you for being such a fantastic audience. Thank you so much. Thank you. Get home safely tonight. And i cant reiterate this enough, love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. Love yourself. You are worthy of that love. You are worthy of that love. God bless you guys. Have a great night. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in thank you for coming out lets do it lets do it im trevor noah. Our guest tonight is the the managing director of the International Monetary fund and yes, that is as important as it sounds Christine Lagarde is joining us cheers and applause also on tonights show, o. J. Simpson is back. Donald trump gives us a special tour of the white house. And we found out how many of meshs president s were secretly gay. Lets catch up on todays headlines. Lets kick it off with o. J. Simpson. The notorious memorabilia thief and officially no other kind of criminal. laughter over the weekend, a lot of people who opened up twitter got a big surprise. There is a lot of reaction to one of the newest members of twitter. O. J. Simpson joining the social media site for the first time just days after the 25t 25th anniversary of the murders of his exwife Nicole Brown Simpson and ron goldman. Hey twitter world, this is yours truly. Simpson wasting little time to address rumors that have become tabloid fodder over the years. On sunday he said Khloe Kardashian is not his daughter. No way have i ever had any interest in kris. Simpson saying hell use his new platform in a variety of ways. Ive got a little getting even to do. Trevor whoa ive got a little getting even to do . If youre o. J. Simpson, there are phrases you should never use. I got a little getting even to do . No. Have you seen my gloves . No. And the worst one, pass a me the knife. No, o. J. , you mangkhut your steak with a fork, my friend. laughter i cant believe o. J. Simpson is on twitter. Imagine getting a push notification saying o. J. Simpson is now following you. laughter thats the scariest phrase in tension lish language. At least snapchat destroys the evidence for you. Apparently, o. J. Simpson wants to responds to rumors about him about how he and Kris Jenner Allegedly had an affair and o. J. Says its not true. Hell deny it out but in a year hell put out a book called if i hit it. laughter some south american countries have troubles but they took it to a new level. Millions left without electricity in argentina, uruguay and paraguay. The blackout affected subways to traffic lights and water distribution. By Late Afternoon power had been partially restored. The cause has not been found. Trevor okay, this is really weird. Three countries in south america all lost power at the exact same time, and i know what some of you are thinking, trevor, isnt that normal in those countries . Well, yes, but not like this, not all at once. Its like when you see one or two spiders in your ram and you say, whatever, but if its waste deep in spiders, some shit has gone down. laughter the speculation is the outage could have been a cyber attack and a lot of experts say this could be the future of war where countries will be hacking into each others systems shutting down their grids. The New York Times reported america is attacking testimony russias power grid. What if this was russia getting revenge but hitting the wrong switch. Vlad says, im hatting switch but nothing happening how about this one . No, thats Garbage Disposal laughter by the way, have you ever noticed how your attitude about a power outage dramatically changes the longer its going on. If power is out for 30 minutes, its romantic, light candles. After six hours, im going to ambush the neighbor, steal his gun, baby you strangle his grandmother laughter news from the democratic primary, pete buttigieg, democratic candidate, mayor of sob and real life boss baby. Over the weekend he didnt interview with axios on h. B. O. And one thing he said took the reporter by surprise. If you were to win the nomination, they will say youre too young, too liberal, too gay to be commanderinchief you. Are young, liberal you gay. How will you respond . The people will like the person who will make the pest president. We have had excellence president s who have been young, liberal, i would imagine we had excellent president s who were gay. We dont know which ones. You believe weve had a gay commanderinchief . Statisticsly, its almost stern. Like, in your reading of history do you believe you know who they are . That hasnt worked out for me in the present let alone retroactively. laughter trevor such a great response. I love how the journalist was stammering. laughter its so funny the journalist thinks because buttigieg is gay he automatically knows who else is gay. Like gay people can recognize each other across time. Like i tell people who ask if im from africa and if i know mufasa, i say, no, we went to different high schools. Come on laughter buttigieg was different and he could have said any president was gay and the guy would have believed him. Thomas jefferson was totally gay. What . How can you tell . Oh, i can tell. That would have been it. laughter theres no way to know for certain which u. S. President s were gay, theres nothing wrong wit but no way to know. Though Grover Cleveland does have a new cameo in the new taylor swift video, so you never know. Moving on to our top story. cheers and applause phoenix, arizona. When people think of phoenix, what do they think of . No one actually thinks of phoenix, but if they were forced to, what would they think of . It would probably be the extreme heat or a college you can graduate from in three weeks or the fact that the citys Basketball Team has the worlds most random mascot. Seriously, how do you pick a gorilla when youre the phoenix suns . You could have been a phoenix or a sun. A gorilla makes no sense laughter even gritty makes more sense because thats how you look if you spend your whole life in philly eating cheese steaks, all right . But the gorilla makes no sense. But phoenix has started to become notorious for how bad its police force is with a record 44 Police Shootings last year. Yeah, more than any other large city in america. And now, thanks to cell phone video, we get to see it for ourselves. Growing outrage tonight after an extreme reaction from Phoenix Police to a little girl swiping a doll. Cops in phoenix threaten iesha harper a pregnant woman with two Young Children by her side. The video starts after the family pulls aunt the baby sitters, in our approach by police with guns drawn. Police officers at times sowmed like hitmen. Get out the ~bleep ing car right now get your ~bleep ing hands up im going to put a ~bleep ing cap right in your head trevor sweet jesus, im going to put a ~bleep cap in your head. Thats what the cop said. What happened to protect and serve . Im sorry, everything about that video is wrong. All right, not only is the cop screaming, like the woman is the one pointing a gun at him, but hes talking about busting caps like hes a lost member of nwa . Theres no excuse, unless maybe the cop says he arrests people in the way he thinks they speefnlgt hey, yo, black man, get your ass on the ground and as for you sa you better stop acting like a speaking in Foreign Language and you belgian guy, i dont how you speak waffles waffles laughter this was was the cops responding to a call about a 4yearold who took a barbee doll out of a dollar store without paying for it. Yeah. Im sorry, guys, you dont need to show up like a s. W. A. T. Team to rescue a barbie from a little girl. If anything you should rescuing the little girl from the barbie. Watch out that doll can give you a warped sense of what a womans body is supposed to be barbie, please dont do it think about ken, your house and a dream job you just got as a scientist laughter as traumatic tas the experience was, thankfully, no one was shot. I dont think its because to have the offices. I think its because to have the welltrained civilians who happened to be on the scene. The woman behind this cell phone video asking to take the kids. Look at these kids. Can i get the babies . Excuse me. Excuse me. Can i get the kids . Even the bystanders, you can hear them say calm down to the police. Marx hey, whoa, circumstances calm down. Can someone diffuse the situation here . Trevor this is ridiculous. How do civilians know bettor how to act like police than the police know how to act like police . applause how . Because this guys next to the car, holding his phone, but instead of panicking, hes trying to calm things down. Hes even using the language cops are supposed to be thinking about. Guys, lets diffuse the situation. Thats how you know shit has gone wrong because back in the days the guys holding is phone used to be, like, whoa, man, hes about to bust a cop in his ass now the cops say that. People are sounding like Trained Police deescalate the situation and read him his miranda rights, come on you would think this is as bad as a story could get, but what makes it worse is if we didnt have these videos, those cops would have been able to paint a very different picture of how this all went down. Major differences emerge between the Police Report and the video captured by witnesses. Nowhere in the report does he mention yelling youre going to get eving shot or im going to put an fing cap in your head. In the video, the Police Officer kicks the father. In the report he writes, i made him spread his feet. Trevor whats troubling about this is it makes you wonder how many people have been arrested and put in jail because everyone assumes the Police Version of the events is always the truth. applause like time and time again, time and time again, cell phone videos contradict the official reports because you saw the video. He kicks his leg. The guys not doing anything. He kicks his leg. But in the report he says, i made him spread his feet. Cops report makes it sound like a peaceful yoga instructor, now i moved him into downward ~bleep dog, namaste. As harrowing as this was, this family was one of the lucky ones because no one was shot and calm bystanders recorded the entire thing to back them up. And now their lawyer is helping them to sue that Police Department for 10 million. applause which wont help erase what happened to them, but it will help that little girl buy a shit load of those dolls. Well be right back. cheers and applause i want it that way. I cant believe it. That karl brought his karaoke machine . Aint nothing but a heartache. No, i cant believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my Car Insurance with geico. I never wanna hear you say. No, kevin. No, kevin believe it geico could save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance. Geico could save you fifteen percent here are even more reasons to join tmobile. 1. Do you like netflix . Sure you do. Thats why its on us. 2. Unlimited data. Use as much as you want, when you want. 3. No surprises on your bill. Taxes and fees included. Still think you have a better deal . Bring in your discount, and well match it. Thats right. Tmobile will match your discount. This is how driving should feel. The techadvanced nissan leaf. The best selling electric vehicle of all time. This is nissan intelligent mobility. Blue moon is a belgianstyle wheat beer, brewed with valencia orange peel for a flavorful and refreshing taste that shines brighter. Reach for the moon. Introducing a boost to your workout water. Electrolytes, meet vitamins b, c and e. With no artificial sweeteners, this is the new propel vitamin boost. cheers and applause welcome back to the daily show. You know, one of the things that makes President Trump so unique is the way he interacts with the media. He does gifn give many traditiol press conference. He mostly shouts at reporters from a helicopter or takes a few questions when hes with a foreign leader or his favorite, shares policy ideas at the drivethrough. Let me get a burger, no lettuce, no pickles, and no deal with iran do you want fries with that . The iran deal . Norse, the burger. Okay, because if the iran deal comes with fries i would be open to negotiating laughter sometimes donald trump will switch things up and give one reporter total access to him for an entire day. The latest example is abcs george stephanopoulos. Trump may not like briefings or cabinet meetings or reading in general but he loves giving tours. The oval office is such a special place. Show us around. Thats a famous desk. They have seven desks. They give you pictures of desks. They give you pictures of carpet. This is the Ronald Reagan carpet. They give you pictures of the drapes. You see the drapes . I think we have 12 sets of drapes we can use. Theres your new air force one. Its going to look sleeker. Whats the biggest personal touch youve put on the office is this. Ive put a lot of them. You didnt have flags to any great degree. laughter trevor thats like the weirdest episode of mtv cribs. Yeah, this is my flags, this is my desk. That is a lot of flags, show. Seems innocent but when you think what trump does to flags in public, i dont want to know what they do when theyre alone. The flags are, like, please, take was you, stephanopoulos, please trump spends so much time showing stephanopoulos around you would think he was going to sublet the office. But he also used the opportunity to hit back at them and their phony reporting. I watched Good Morning America this morning and they had something about the polling. It was really suppression polling, fake polling, but in this case it was made up polling. They give you phony numbers. They give you numbers. They say they have access to numbers, which i dont believe they have access to. Trevor trump basically treats polls the way some people treat their bathroom scales. When youre happy with the number, this is science, thats what i weigh. But if the number isnt what you want it to be, its, this shit is going back to bed, bath and beyond thats not right is this pounds or kilograms . laughter unfortunately for trump, though, theres one poll he couldnt blame the media for because it was done by his own campaign. The Trump Campaigns internal polling shows the president trailing former Vice President joe biden in critical battleground states. 39 to 55 in pennsylvania, 41 to 51 in wisconsin, and by 7 points in florida. Cbs news learned the Trump Campaign fired several pollsters after those internal polling numbers were leaked. laughter trevor oh, man so trump learns that hes behind in the polls, and he responds by firing his pollsters. laughter which makes sense to me. Its like how i used to have ebola but i fired my doctor so i dont have ebola anymore. Yeah. Im just a regular guy who pees out of his butt. My favorite moment in this interview is when trump talked about releasing his tax returns. Not because i think hell release them at this point, its more likely hell release an album of duets with hillary clinton. While trump was talking, someone in the background coughed. Watch what happens after that. Theyre after my Financial Statement, the senate. They would like to get my Financial Statement. At some point i hope they get it. You going to turn it over . I might. At some point, i hope they get it because its a fantastic Financial Statement. Its a fantastic Financial Statement. And lets do that over. Hes coughing in the middle of my answer. I dont like that, you know . Your chief of staff. If youre going to cough, please leave the room. Ill come over here. Sorry, mr. President. Okay. Do you want to do that a little differently then . Yeah, we just changed the angle. Yep. So at some point so at some point, i look forward frankly, id like to have people see my Financial Statement because its phenomenal. Trevor yo, are you serious . Its like a reallife episode of the office. Hes looking at the camera. I half expect dwight to pop up on screen and just shake his head. Laugh applause but you have to give it to trump. He might not be a good president but he is a fantastic television professional. He knows his angles. Hes giving different line readings, changing it up. Theyre coming for my precious tax returns wait whos coughing . All right, let me take that again speaking softly okay, theyre coming, for my precious tax returns. Okay, that was the one, that was the one. laughter i dont think it was a coincidence that his chief of staff happened to cough when trump was talking about releasing his tax returns it was more like, sh ut up about your taxes thats what that was. applause that was trumps oneonone with abc. And really this makes clear why he doesnt do interviews very often because in one he contradicted himself in follows, flipped out at his coffee staff and managed to look short than george stephanopoulos. Tomorrows interview, well be back at the drivethrough. Well be right back. cheers and applause think fast this week, carry out a large 2topping pizza for just 5. 99 only at pizza hut, when you order online. Thats right, a large pizza for 5. 99. Hurry, because this deal ends sunday. Just another reason why. No one out pizzas the hut. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is the managing director of the International Monetary fund. Please welcome madame Christine Lagarde. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the show. Thank you. Trevor it is not often that i sit across people who have access to a trillion dollars. Is this a good time to ask for a loan . laughter for those who dont know, what is the job to have the i. M. F. . Do you mind a teeny tiny bit of history . Trevor of course. Okay. We just celebrated the Second World War anniversary, 75 years ago. Trevor right. We are celebrating our 75t 75th anniversary as well. Trevor oh wow. Because what happened at the time, countries decided fighting each other and killing each other probably wasnt the way to go because it all started with a bad economic situation. Trevor yes. They thought, rather than that, why dont we set up a club, give it a lot of money and have competent people, number one, give some economic advice, number two, give loans to n case any member of the club isnt doing well and, number three, give technical assistance. Trevor its interesting you got this job at a time when the world was going in a bad direction because you took over basically at the peak of the financial crisis. Some have said this is an example of the glass cliff when something goes really bad and they give the job to a woman, like, all right, you can have it now. Yes cheers and applause trevor did it feel you were stepping into a job where you were destined to fail . Because youve succeeded. At that moment, was it terrifying . It was intimidating. But your point is so right. Whenever the situation is really, really bad, you call in the woman. Trevor right. cheers and applause and the woman did a great job i mean, you came in no, you have been lauded as someone whos not just, you know, apt at handling money and understanding the cause of the world, but youve moved the i. M. F. Forward. One of the issues you have been vocal about has been the trade disputes happening right now, ease internal betweeespecially d china. You said to both of the boys leading the countries they need to calm down and work this out. Yes. Trevor i know on the american side Donald Trumps argument has been they have to impose these trade policies, they have to block china because American Industries are suffering, and they have to impose these tariffs. How do you respond to that and what do you think a possible solution could be . I would say two things. One is President Trump has a point concerning trevor wait, wait, wait yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, because laughter no, he has a point on intellectual property. It is correct that nobody should be stealing intellectual property to move ahead. Trevor right. He has a point on subsidies. Yoyou cannot just go about competing with others out there who are being heavily subsidized. On those two points, you cant either say welcome to my country but you can only come if youre going to transfer technology and this is compulsory and now option. Trevor right. Open these three points the game has to be changed and the rules have to be respected. But where it doesnt work is when you say im going to raise tariffs because the impact of raising tariffs is not going to be on china, the impact is going to be on those companies in the United States that rim porting goods from outside the u. S. Trevor right. And the ultimate person who will bear the brunt of those tariff increases are the consumers, and particularly the lowincome consumers, those who need to actually buy reasonably cheap products because they can get by with those products, and they are the ones who are going to suffer the consequences of tariff increases. So im saying to all those involved in trade discussions, you know, we need adults in the room, you need to hear laughter trevor you need to hear you need to hear the economic facts, not focus on one or two numbers. Trevor one of the main things that you have been a driver, one of the main issues has been empowering women, and not in a charity sense, but in a business sense. Yeah. Trevor you know, you very famously have the quote where you came out and said, if Lehman Brothers was Lehman Brothers and sisters, maybe they would have done a little bit better. Yes. Trevor right . Why is it so important for countries to invest in women beyond the niceness of it all . Ive given up on the morality and charity side of things. Trevor oh, you have . Ill tell you why, not personally, but it doesnt seem to impress people. Trevor yes. I said, fine, youre not impressed . Its a moral imperative, youre not concerned . Okay. Let me tell you that if, on the economic side, you increase the size of the economy, you improve the income per capita, each individual in society, and if, at the company level, you actually get a better profit attend of the year because there will have been a woman on the board or on the executive team, arent you concerned about that . I dont know yet, and i have to meet yet the leader of a country who says, no, i dont want no growth, no, i dont want a larger economy, no i dont want to distribute more income. Trevor right. They all want the same thing, so bring the woman. If you look at the participation of the women in the economy, you usually have 15 difference. If you look at the wages of women difference men, same job, same effort, you have at least 16 difference. Why is that . This is a complete waste of time. And waste of energy and waste of resources. So women have to be given the same opportunities, be given the same salary, and have the same exactly right as men. cheers and applause trevor thank you so much for being on the show. Thank you. Trevor wonderful having you. Good luck at the g20. Christine lagarde, everybody well be right back cheers and applause [tv] i cant just stop loving you. [door bell] [door bell] [door bell] other places deliver food. We deliver more than that. Delivering happy. Mcdonalds on uber eats. Its light and refreshing, perfect to drink by any ocean. Like this one. Or, by an unsalted ocean. You know those butterflies arent actually in the room . Hey, that baker ladys on tv again. Shes not a baker. She wears that apron to sell insurance. Nobody knows why. Shes the progressive insurance lady. They cover pets if your owner gets into a car accident. Covers us with what . You got me. [ scoffs ] shes an insurance lady. And i suppose this baker sells insurance, too . Progressive protects your pets like you do. You can see the secret life of pets 2 only in theaters. The secret life of pets 2 letdoctor pepper . an icecold dr pepper are you really a time traveler . Why dont you ask my friend crug here . Ahh just kidding. He hates questions and eye contact. Dr pepper. So nice to treat you graham . Thats my daughter hey. Dad. What an incredible set love the wig. The greater than ever corolla. Lets go places. The greater than ever corolla. Therthen he tried tostitoshael scoops and salsa. And he started following them in real life. Hey, mike. Sup. Oh

© 2024 Vimarsana

comparemela.com © 2020. All Rights Reserved.