Get the [bleep] out of here, man. [laughs] yeah, come on. Really . Really . So some random person shows up at trump tower, the front desk called up to don jr. And he was like, hello . Someones here to see me . Oh, boy. Send em right up. No, i dont wanna know their name. I love surprises jared, paul, you gotta come see this no, i dont know whos in the meeting. Lets just do it and be legends. Honestly, my takeaway when all of this was going on is that someone has information on our opponent. You know, things are going a million miles an hour. I wanted to hear em out and play it out and see what happens, but, you know, people are trying to reach out to you all the time with this. Someone sent me an email. I cant help what someone sends me. You know, i read it. I responded accordingly. I wouldnt have even remembered it until you start scouring through the stuff. It was literally just a wasted 20 minutes, which was a shame. [laughing] i love that hes totally confessing but with the tone of someone who thinks hes giving an alibi. You know . Look, i went into the bank, all right . I shot everyone and i took the money. Okay . Yeah. So unless you have something on me, i guess im free to go. Right . Yeah, i did it, okay. I did it. [cheers and applause] [russian music] and you know what . I know ill sound crazy for saying this, but i think that trump should only communicate on twitter. Because at least there, his characters are limited. In real life, the crazy has no end. The president said he asked putin about russian hacking to influence the 2016 election. Quote well, im sold. Im sold, im sold. All right, for the record, Vladimir Putinhe wasnt just a master kgb agent for 16 years and one of the soviet unions top spies in berlin like, but trump knew trump knew that he could break putin by simply asking him the same question twice. [laughter] that was his plan . The same question twice but, but, but in a totally different way. [laughter] trump was like, did you do it . [russian accent] no, i did not. Okay, that works for me. But did you . [laughter] that bad boy putin, he knows the trouble hes causing. cause just listen to how he trolled the u. S. [speaking russian] [speaking russian] [laughter] yeah. Trump is an open person. Thats exactly what were worried about. Remember the last time he spoke to the russians . He accidentally spilled israeli state secrets. Thats what he does. Like, right now, the best we can hope for is that trump is so full of bs that hes too unreliable to be spied on, you know . Because we know hell say anything to make himself look cool. You know, putin will be like, so, donald, how many Nuclear Submarines do you have now . And trump will be like, let me tell you, vlad, we have literally millions of submarines. No, no, donald. No. No, donald, no. That cant be right number. Ive heard we might have a submarine under this very dinner party right now. Unbelievable. Im starting to miss hillary, oh, my god, this [traditional russian music] for more on the russian effort to influence american discourse, were joined now by our senior american correspondent, michael kosta, everybody. [cheers and applause] michael michael, as an american, are you worried that russia is using social media to divide this country . As an american, im not gonna sit by and watch russia take credit for dividing america. You think it takes foreign meddling to get americans angry at each other . The moment we meet someone, were like, youre from ohio . Screw you, im from michigan. Youre from grand rapids . That place sucks. Im from ann arbor. Youre from ann arbor . Whats your address . Thats where i live, too. Oh, youre my dad . Screw you, dad. See, trevor, i dont need russia to make me hate my own dad. Okay, that got really personal quick. But michael, you have to admit technology is making this worse. Russians linked to its government are now using facebook to get americans worked up. Yeah, you know who else does that . My racist uncle every time he posts on my feed. Dont take [bleep] from that african boss of yours, michael. I never would, ralph. Look [laughter] im not gonna let russia take the credit for dividing us. We have a rich history of dividing ourselves. A meme didnt start the civil war. You think Carrier Pigeons were dropping these all over the south . Oh, okay, but michael, come on. Im sure the russian efforts are slightly more sophisticated than memes. I mean, not really. Heres a real one that facebook turned over to congress. Now if an american had written that, it wouldve said the cemetery. And cemetery wouldve been spelled wrong. Okay, michael, look, i get it. I get it. So what are you saying . Americans should just ignore the whole thing . Hell no. Were gonna hit back hard. Were going fullon meme war. Let me show you these dank memes coming out of the pentagon. You like that, russia . How about this . Michael kosta, everybody. Well be right back. [traditional russian music] one is the only number that youll ever need staying ahead isnt about waiting for a chance. Its about the one bold choice you make, that moves you forward. the one and only Cadillac Escalade. Come in now for this exceptional offer on the Cadillac Escalade. Get this lowmileage lease on this 2018 Cadillac Escalade from around 879 per month. Visit your local cadillac dealer. Discover card. I justis this for real . Match, yep. We match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. Whoo i got my money hard to contain yourself, isnt it . Uh huh let it go whoo get a dollarfordollar match at the end of your first year. Only from discover. Are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec®. Its starts working hard at hour one. And works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. I like yours too. Hair. Can i have some . Its not cool to ask that. Thanks, captain obvious. Online dating isnt always rewarding. But hotels. Com is. Instant savings now, free nights later. Hotels. Com bring home the taste sensation. Taco bells nacho fries, now with delicious bonus content. The nacho fries 5 box set, now serving at a taco bell near you. [bong ] do notsfx dog bark thanks grandma. Why dont you fetch me some doritos. Sfx dog barking fetch me a bag full of doritos. Sfx dog bark fetch me a bare na. Sfx dog bark sfx bear growl sfx man screaming sfx bear growl sfx man screaming sfx dog barking [hiphop music] [traditional russian music] ive said this before, and this probably wont be the last time. The only force on earth powerful enough to stop donald trump may be donald trump ironic, you say . Perhaps but this week, we saw it again bigly, with a series of selfinflicted wounds that showed Crystal Clear that el president e doesnt give an orange rats ass about whether the rule of law or the conservative agenda prized by his fellow republicans comes to fruition. And he did it by picking on one of the people youd think would be closest to him. President trump blasts his own attorney general, steaming over Jeff Sessions recusal from the russia investigation. I am disappointed in the attorney general. If he was going to recuse himself, he shouldve told me prior to taking office. And i wouldve, quite simply, picked somebody else. Ah, if you knew in advance what Jeff Sessions would do, you wouldve picked someone else. Now you know how america feels about your presidency. [laughter] [traditional russian music] the senate has approved tough new sanctions for russia, and now the bill heads to President Trumps desk. The bill was passed by an overwhelming 982 vote. It gives congress the power to block the president from easing sanctions against moscow. Yeah. Not only did they put sanctions on russia, theyve effectively put sanctions on donald trump. Thats what theyve done. Yeah, thats a strange thing when you think about it. [cheers and applause] becauseits almost Like Congress is his parents going, like, we dont want you playing with that boy anymore. So congress hit russia with more sanctions and if you know anything about russians, when you hit them, they always hit back. Russia is ramping up its retaliation against the u. S. Over new sanctions. Russian president vladimir told the u. S. Yesterday to slash its staff in russia by 755 people. The u. S. Will also lose access to a Storage Facility and its beautiful Country House and leafy property on the outskirts of moscow. What . Wait, so russia retaliates against the new sanctions by taking americas Country House . Yeah, it really does feel like trump and putin are getting divorced. [laughter] okay, donald, im taking the Country House. Not the Country House. No [laughter] no we just renovated the bathroom i know, and im sure syria will enjoy the heated toilet seat. You bastard [traditional russian music] my guest tonight is a former secretary of state and first woman in u. S. History to be nominated for president by a Major Political party. Please welcome, Hillary Rodham clinton. [cheers and applause] one popular narrative that has emerged has been the clinton dossier. Mm. The documents involving donald trump and pee which has now come out as a document that the dnc and your campaign worked to pay for. Now, people say, hillary, is there a difference between your team paying for this Opposition Research and Donald Trumps people working with the russians to influence the election. Is there a difference . Of course there is. And, you know, i think most serious people understand that. This was research started by a republican donor during the republican primary. And then when trump got the nomination for the republican party, the people doing it came to my Campaign Lawyer and said, you know, would you like us to continue it . And he said yes. Hes an experienced lawyer. He knows what the law is. He knows what Opposition Research is. And, you know, from my perspective, it didnt come out before the election as we all know and what also didnt come out which i think is an even bigger problem, as i write in the book is that the American People didnt even know that the fbi was investigating the Trump Campaign because of connections with russia, starting in the summer of 2016. Right. So i know that voters shouldve had that information. Thats something that may have influenced some people. And its part of what happens in a campaign, where you get information that may or may not be useful and you try to make sure anything you put out in the public arena is accurate. And so this thing didnt come out until after the election and its still being evaluated. But the fact of the fbi investigation into the Trump Campaign and russia shouldve come out. [traditional russian music] trumps halloween weekend wasnt all fun and harassing children. He also probably spent the weekend stress eating a lot of their candy. Because on friday night, trump received the spookiest news of all. Special Counsel Robert Mueller was going to drop his first indictment. And by the way, if Robert Mueller doesnt walk into every Interrogation Room saying, its mueller time, hes wasting his life. Yeah, he is. Like, first thing he should do, every time he walks in, just be like, hey, perp, what time is it . Uh, its 6 45. Wrong. Its mueller time. [laughter] you just lied to the fbi. So everyone was waiting to find out who was maybe going to jail. And early this morning, we all discovered. A fox news alert former Trump Campaign chairman paul manafort, slapped with a 12count federal indictment, including conspiracy against the u. S. , Money Laundering and failure to disclose foreign lobbying. This is a bad day for paul manafort. They threw the book at him. Hes looking at 1015 years in prison. Happy halloween, bitch. [laughter] [cheers and applause] this is cnn breaking news. A former Foreign Policy adviser to the Trump Campaign has pleaded guilty of lying to fbi officials. The complaint says george papadopoulos, he lied about his contacts with foreign nationals who had close connections to the russian government. Its still halloween, bitches. [laughter] [cheers and applause] just two hourstwo hours after the manafort story broke, we suddenly find out that one of Trumps Campaign advisors, george papadopoulos, was trying to connect the Trump Campaign with russian government officials who had dirt on hillary. So now the story is back to trumprussia collusion. Because unlike manaforts indictment, papadopoulos crime does relate directly to colluding with russia, which makes the situation much more dangerous to donald trump, especially given this little detail. We know hes cooperating. He was actually arrested in late july. And Court Documents say hes repeatedly been by the government since then and has been providing answers. The papadopoulos indictment has gotta be the one that has trump world really sweating because its a guilty plea, it directly deals with collusion and he is cooperating. Thats right, folks. Its mueller time. [traditional russian music] dominika i saw something i was not supposed to. music dominika they gave me a choice. Dominika die. Or become a sparrow. music nathaniel in moscow theres a program, nathaniel they call them sparrows. Trained to seduce and manipulate. Nathaniel that is what she is. Shes out of your league. music you have a gift. music vanya you see through people. Take your life back. music ill find a way. music vanya youre always one step ahead. music dominika youre right. music rated r. Everyone has a thing. That binge watch over the weekend thing. More checkingin or checking out things. That tripledouble thing doing it yourself or tagging a friend thing. More revolutions in the making thing. That play like a girl thing. That fourlegged friends thing. At t gives you more for your thing. More entertainment, internet, and unlimited plans. More for your thing. Yeah, thats our thing. A small town in the heart of tennessee. Where families and neighbors Work Together to make every drop of our whiskey. If you cant get here, just look for one of our postcards. We send them all over. They look like this. We send them all over. Ive had three people try to eathree oday. Oh, lucky penny. Anyway, sometimes i wish i were human. Woahhhh. Look at me im human ha do you want to eat me . No. Do you want to eat me . No thanks. Would you like to eat me . Ha nobody wants to eat me im the luckiest. You dropped your lucky penny. Man, i look good. Youre still short and bald. [hiphop music] [traditional russian music] the russia investigation reaches the white house. Special Counsel Robert Mueller closes in on the president and his inner circle, with a guilty plea from Michael Flynn. Flynn says he lied to the fbi about his contacts with russia and that he is now cooperating with special Counsel Robert Muellers investigation. Flynn now admits that four days into his job as White House National security advisor, he denied having to separate contacts back in december with russias ambassador to the u. S. , sergey kislyak, when, in fact, he did. He lied to the fbi on day four of his new job. Day four . Thats so early. You dont even know where the good pooping bathroom is yet. Day four . You dont even know your colleagues names. Its just like, karen, hold my calls. I need to lie to the fbi. Actually, its shelly. Sorry, sorry. But thats right, former trump advisor and current angry bird Michael Flynn has been caught by special counsel bob mueller. And by the way, its pretty ironic that flynn, of all people, might be getting locked up. Becausewell, you remember. If i did a tenth a tenth of what she did, i would be in jail today. [crowd chanting] lock her up lock her up lock her up, thats right. Yeah, thats right. Lock her up. [chanting] lock her up lock her up yeah, thats right. Lock her up lock her up yeah. Whats cool is that he already knew the lyrics to the song. So when he was being taken in by the fbi, he was like, lock me up, lock me up lock me up so with flynn, this is trumps fourth advisor to get charged with a crime, which is not a good look, people. And if youre President Trump hearing this news, you should be worried. Because if the trump team did anything wrong, flynn probably knows. He had full access to the campaign. And full access to the trump white house. His turning states evidence could be the first domino that starts the whole administration tumbling. And it sure doesnt look like he has plans to go down alone. Flynns guilty plea was part of a deal to avoid more severe charges for himself and his son, signaling that he has valuable information about the president s inner circle and even mr. Trumps family members that he is willing to share. Thats right, flynn is spilling everything. It could be testimony that trump ordered him to collude with russia. It could be documents showing the collusion. It could be the friendship bracelets putin and trump made each other. We dont know. [traditional russian music] remember steve bannon . Trumps former chief strategist and human Leather Jacket . Well, today it came out that he also thinks the Trump Campaign did collude with russia. The president s former chief strategist steve bannon commenting on donald trump jr. s meeting at trump tower where he was promised dirt on hillary clinton. Bannon says saying this about the meeting, in addition. He said so very harsh words, there. Whoa. Don jr. Is gonna crack like an egg . Honestly, i dont even know if thats a metaphor. Like, i think theres at least a 50 chance youd find yolk where a brain should be. [laughter] although, i am surprised that bannon knows that you crack eggs. I always just assumed that he ate them whole, like no, like raw, with the shell and everything. Like a snake. Just like, did his jaw andohh. So bannon slammed don jr. And then he went on to say that theres no way the president didnt meet with the russians that don jr. Snuck into their gold house. Yeah, and this is huge. Steve bannonsteve bannon, trumps dude, not only accused trumps second dumbest son of collusion, but hes also accusing the president of being in on it. And then lying to the American People about it. You know what that means, people. Buckle up, because trumps about to blow. President trump issued a Statement Like no president ial statement ever before in american history, lambasting his former campaign and white house senior strategist steve bannon. Ohh damn i didnt even know president s could release diss tracks. But i do feel bad for President Trump because today he found out that some nazis arent very fine people. [traditional russian music] no, please, please, oh shrieks in terror heavy breathing and snorting no, no. The running of the bulldogs . Surprising. Whats not surprising . How much money aleia saved by switching to geico. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. This is the pepsi th gasp and britney. Y. Britney and, of course, the king of pop. This is the pepsi that is forever fun. This is the pepsi for every generation. What happens now. Determines what happens to the rest of the world. Lets go experience aweinspiring performance in the 2018 lexus lc 500. This never gets old. Experience amazing. [engine accelerating] see Marvel Studios black panther in theaters february 16th. Go. Yes go. Yes nice play. Still buffering. Mine too. What happened . Hey, joy, you should let your new pals know that according to a leading independent study, the most awarded network is now best in streaming. I think you just did. You both can get a much better view of the game on the iphone on verizon unlimited. Thanks. Thanks. Hey, thomas, whens your flight . gasps someone stole my watch. Hey vo unlimited is only as good as the network its on. So get the best unlimited on the most awarded network. And right now, when you buy iphone 8, youll get one on us. [thinking] mexican spices . [thinking] nacho cheese sauce . They dont want these coming out. Whos they . The burger people. They they nacho fries, now serving at a taco bell near you. [bong ] [hiphop music] [traditional russian music] donald trump has a shadow of his own Robert Mueller. And so far, the special counsel has indicted four of Trumps Campaign officials, interrogated over 20 Administration Officials and has even set a date to question steve bannon. He wouldve met with bannon earlier, but muellers still waiting for amazon to deliver his hazmat suit. Like[imitates radio crackle] my first question, mr. Bannon, do you mind not eating your own scabs . Thank you very much. And after all the underlings, the week we learned the investigation has reached the very top of trump tower. Special counsel bob mueller is zeroing in on a potential cover up of that now Infamous Trump tower meeting between russians and Trump Campaign officials. When the president allegedly dictated a statement aboard air force one, insisting that the meeting was about russian adoptions. The reason this story could be so important is how it fits into a possible obstruction case against the president. Obstruction of justice relates to intent. You dont have to succeed in obstruction of justice to be charged with obstruction of justice. You know, the only thing that would piss trump off more than charging him with obstruction of justice would be saying that he failed at it. Hed be like, how dare you . Im the best at everything, including obstruction of justice throw some justice at me. Obstruct it. [laughter] its looking like trump and his people lied about the meeting with the russians. And the lie would have worked, except for all the incriminating emails and a room full of witnesses. So this would easily be trumps worst cover up since he wore that robe. But rememberremember, that doesnt mean we know how muellers investigation will end. Right, it could end with trump impeached, it could end with trump exonerated. Hell, it could end with trump and mueller married. You know, its a thin line between love and hate. Hes just like, i followed you for so long that in the end, you caught me. [laughter] [traditional russian music] [coughs] jordan i have this here too i got a lot. Giant weekend, massive weekend. Its already february 5th, my opponent tonight is author of the book so you want to talk about race. Ijeoma oluo, give it up. We know. It happened. Last night the Philadelphia Eagles defeated the new England Patriots sending tom brady back to his hibernation state within the giant mayonnaise bag inside bill belichick. It keeps him hydrated and pliable. Like most pait rotteddic americans i boycotted the game last night but i watched a supercut of all the commercials because im still an american. laughter and there was one that stood out above the rest. Ram truck is being criticized for using the voice of dr. Martin luther king, jr. In its commercial. If you want to be great, wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you. What is ram thinking. I thought it was tasteless. To choose mlk