I love you, baby murray. I love you. [crying] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody thank you so much for tuning in im trevor noah. Thank you, everybody thank you tonights guest, the president of planned parenthood, Cecile Richards is here, everybody cheers and applause but first, big news out of china. A major scientific breakthrough reported globally tonight for the first time scientists in china have cloned two healthy monkeys. These two female monkeys are seven and eight weeks old and represent the next big step in cloning. This is the first time primates have been cloned. The chinese Scientists Say they have no intention of cloning humans. Trevor really . laughter making duplicate monkeys . Thats how committed china is to producing cheap knockoffs . laughter theyre infringing on gods copyright . Really . laughter by the way, i love how the Scientists Say they have no intention of cloning humans. That is such a suspicious phrase. Like if your friend said i have no intention of going home, taking a bubble bath and sticking the rubber ducky up my butt. You will be listening to hear if he squeaks, you know you are. laughter i dont want scientists to clone humans. It brings up messy questions about personhood, the soul, clone rights, its too much. You agree with me, dont you, cameraman tony . What . Yeah, i dont like clones. Something i like about that guy. Lets move on to our main story. Last night, President Trump flew out on air force one to join the World Economic forum in davos, switzerland. Just before taking off to davos President Trump held yesterday an impromptu News Conference telling reporters that, in fact, he is willing to answer questions about the russia investigation from special Counsel Robert Mueller even under oath. Are you going to talk to mueller . Im looking forward to it, actually. To reach a higher standard, you would do it under oath . Oh, i would do it under oath, absolutely. Trevor wow donald trump says he will testify with mueller under oath . And he says it just before he gets on a plane to switzerland . Man, that guy knows how to leave us with a cliffhanger laughter one day he will be, like, before i go, big news, im pregnant byebye laughter the reason trumps promised to testify under oath is such big news is because the Mueller Investigation is beginning to heat uh up. Not only has he indicted four of Trumps Campaign officials, last week he questioned trumps personal elf jeff sessions. While mueller is investigating trump, republicans have decided to investigate the investigation. It may be time to declare war outright against the deep state and clear out the rot in the upper levels of the f. B. I. And the Justice Department. The Mueller Investigation is just kind of spun out of control. Since he was appointed, hes bad news. Hes out for a scalp. He would love to get trumps scalp. The attorney general needs to do his job and end this witch hunt charade. His team of partisan democratic donors need to be disbanded and their witch hunt needs to be shut down immediately. Trevor a witch hunt . Damn thats a strong accusation. Although i guess if you asked republicans, hey, how do you know this is a witch hunt, they would be, like, oh, because we did this shit to hillary for years. Game recognize game, baby. applause for almost the beginning of the investigation, republicans have tried to find any reason to discredit special Counsel Robert Mueller. He was friends with comby. People on his team donated money to hillary. He thought the best part of the jed die was when Princess Leia flew through space. All kinds of ideas. Now theyre focusing on a group of Text Messages sent but someone on mueller team. Controversial texts have led to a barrage of crittism, republicans are all but accusing the f. B. I. Of engaging in a conspiracy. Highly vote the Text Messages. Struck calling candidate trump an idiot. Page saying she couldnt believe he was serious candidate for president. Trevor i kind of understand what the republicans are saying. If someone thinks trump is an idiot, you dont want that person investigating him. On the other hand, if you dont think trumps an idiot, then youre the idiot. Like, we dont want an idiot in charge of an investigation. Well find him eating the evidence. We finally found trumps tax returns ahhh no no and like lets not pretend im hating on President Trump. Im just saying what republicans are thinking and saying. Rex tillerson had called donald trump a moron. One staffer said working with trump was like trying to figure out what a child wants. Others inside white house thought he was no more than semiliterate. For Steve Mnuchin and reince priebus, he was an idiot, for gary cohn, he was dumb as for h. R. Mcmaster, he was a dope. I think hes a cook. I think hes crazy. Someone who thinks the Nuclear Triad is a rock band from the 1980s. Oh, yeah. Trevor see, even republicans think trump is an idiot. Jebs Campaign Slogan was literally trumps an idiot, please clap. applause so an f. B. I. Eight calling trump and idiot wasnt the bombshell some hoped for. This week more texts emerged between f. B. I. Staffs and for many conspiracy theorists christmas came early. One of the texts according to republicans who reviewed them discussed these two individuals talking about a secret society on the day after trumps election. Trevor that was lisa pages text she said that we need to be able to get together and have our secret society meeting. Of course, im going to want to know what secret society are you talking about. Let me see the text. They used that. The first meeting to have the secret society. Not my words, its theirs into the f. B. I. Has a secret society that they call the secret society . Thats really sinister and a little obvious. laughter i mean, calling your secret society the secret society is a weird way to keep a secret. That would be like if batmans real name was bruce batman. Hey, bruce are you related to batman . Never heard of him whats the suit in the background . Its a sex thing. laughter , like, if youre in a secret society that controls the world, you would give it a boring name like World Economic forum and hold meetings in a Swiss Mountain resort like a super villain. Thats what i would do. laughter one development in the story you have to admit seems a little suspicious. During the department of justices investigation into strzok, it found texts were missing between december 14, 2016 and may 17, 2017. Those dates span the president ial transition and the day Robert Mueller was appointed. The f. B. I. Blames software and technical issues saying employees with many samsung 5 mobile devices did not capture texts during that time. Trevor you see, thats weird. Youre telling me that all the f. B. I. s phones just happened to glitch out in the period under investigation . And guys, these were samsung phones. When they dont blow up, theyre very reliable. laughter so you may want to dismiss this whole f. B. I. Conspiracy as republican fan fiction, but for a change, maybe we should look at it from their point of view. Give me music and lights from a Trump Supporters point of view, please. eerie music think about it f. B. I. Agents investigating trump were also calling him an idiot. How did they know . laughter and if theres no plot against the president here, then why would they have a secret society . Abc news obtain one of those messages overnight. Page bringing to struck, are you even going to give out your calendars . Seems kind of depressing. Maybe it should just be the first meeting to have the secret society. Sources tell abc news the two had a personal relationship, so the messages reference to a secret society may have been in jest. We are now learning this was all apparently a gag gift or a joke between friends. Trevor wait, wait, wait, wait, wait you want me to believe that friends just text each other jokes . laughter thats not like any relationship ive ever had. And even if it was a joke, isnt it suspicious the socalled department of justice lost all those texts never to be found again . Breaking news. The department of justice now says it has recovered those missing Text Messages. Trevor ah thats not what i was expecting, but still, you know what, turn the lights back up look, people. We all know whats happening here. Republicans are just trying to discredit the f. B. I. And the Justice Department as much as possible so that when Robert Mueller comes out with his findings, you will see them in a different light. laughter well be right back cheers and applause tens of millions of people have switched to unlimited on the network ranked highest in Network Quality performance nationwide by j. D. Power. Verizon . Whoa, whoa wwait. Hold it heh heh. Look at that. vo switch to the best unlimited on the most awarded network. And now buy select smartphones and get one free. With the extra third rowr. Of seats. They think its theirs. Look at them, they have no idea its not theirs. Its mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. The new lexus rx 350l with three rows for seven passengers. Are you excited about your baby sister coming . Experience space for the unexpected with the rx l, part of the rx family. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Jimmys gotten used to his whole yup, hes gone noseblind. Odors. He thinks it smells fine, but his mom smells this. Luckily theres febreze fabric refresher for all the things you cant wash. It finds odors trapped in fabrics and washes them away as it dries. And try pluggable febreze to continuously eliminate odors for up to 45 days of freshness. Pluggable febreze and fabric refresher. Two more ways to breathe happy. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. cheers and applause as we mentioned, this week is the davos World Economic forum, a gathering of the worlds most wealthy and distinguished people, and donald trump. laughter while hes there, President Trump is doing interviews with crn, cnbc and pierce on fo. He hasnt set down with another news network than fox since last may. If you had sex during that interview, the baby could have been born right now to very weird parents because why did you have sex to a trumplester holt interview . laughter so theres a lot of pressure on these nonfox journalists. How can they make sure trump keeps giving them interviews . Desi lydic has more in her new segment journalismme. cheers and applause there are certain achievements every journalist aspires to like breaking a big story, winning a pulitzer or canceling dinner with wolf blitzer at the last minute. The fun part is waiting outside so you still get to see his face. But the dream for any journalist is landing an interview with the president , and thats something that, right now, fox news is indisputably the best at with nearly four times as many president ial interviews as all the other big tv news organizations combined. So how did the men and women of fox score so many sitdowns with the potus . Ive studied every interview, and it comes down to a few basic rules. What the bleep . Get the bleep out of my shot. Get out as a journalist, you might think your job is to hold the president accountable, but this isnt the post and youre not tom hanks unless you are tom hanks, in which case, hey, big fan. The point is, if you want the president to let you ask questions, youve got to take a softer approach. The media, pretty vicious. Not just to you but your family. How do you process that . Are you getting the credit for this economic revival . How frustrating is it to have former president obama out there leading the resistance . Youre one of the most loved and respected. I would say that, also. In history. How does that feel . Are you having fun in this job . So house of your week . What a nice change from all the unfair, fake news gotcha questions, like whats your infrastructure plan, can we see your tax returns . And please take your penis off the constitution. Its not a question, but they do say that. Next up, positive reinforcement. Obviously the president is always right, but he needs to know that you know that. Flattery is key. You guys want to start good news . cheering you dont get a lot of good news in the media. Well, you dont get so much. If i may say, you are as everything was advertised as you ran for president and i appreciate everything youre doing. Your ability, your successes, all of the things that you can talk about for two hours here i like the fact that youre impatient for change. Right over there is your hotel. Yeah, thats right. Isnt that beautiful . Isnt that beautiful . Its a beautiful hotel. Look at your hotel man, its hot out here do you have any trump brand water . Never mind, i have some in my ivanka trump handbag next to my don, jr. Brand douche laughter land ago job as President Trump is easy. Dont take my word for it, i got my own exclusive sitdown with the big man himself. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule, mr. President. How are you doing . Great. Tremendous. Good. Lets get right into these questions we gave you ahead of time. Outstanding. Mr. President , we know youre awesome, but just how awesome are you . One of the greatest in the history of our country, and we are setting record after record, day after day and youre not getting enough credit for it. No, im not getting enough credit for it. You are such a good president. I mean, america should just end after you. Mic drop, its over, folks, never Getting Better, kim yourselves. I dont think ive ever seen anything quite like it. Best president says what . What. Exactly, boom whoo look at those bear claws man you know, makes you wonder why are people so mean to you, you know . Its not fair. It makes me just so angry well, i think the press is fake. Toast. A lot of the media is fake. Bingo. Fake and phony. Yahtzee what the actual fact smoke weed every day laughter luckily, i brought a little surprise pore you. Your favorite, quarter pounder with cheese, filet of fish, two apple pies a and a 12piece bucket of kfc. I love it. And i love you. Let me tell you, the only one that matters is me. Im the only one that matters. Mr. President , i have to say, thank you so much for your time. I almost forgot about your happy meal toy. Its a truck rrrrr thank you. No. Thank you. cheers and applause thank you. Trevor desi lydic, everyone. Well be right back cheers and applause schick® xtreme 3 three flexible blades that uniquely adapt to any contour for optimum comfort. For any twist or turn life hands you. Schick® xtreme 3 and xtreme 4® with four, longer lasting blades. Schick® xtreme 3 and xtreme 4® with four, well done wizard. You are a true friend of the crown, dilly dilly dilly dilly what would you have me do now, your majesty. Turn that into bud light. Okay. Now turn that statue into bud light you know your highness, i can do other things. I can put a curse on your enemies. I can make you immortal. Yeah, no. Just the bud light thing. Dilly dilly heres to the friends you can always count on. 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Nice audience. Trevor amazing audience. cheers and applause wow. Trevor yeah. I have the best crowds. The biggest crowds. Trevor all the biggest. But they wont show my audience. Show them now. Show my audience. They wont show them. cheers and applause donald trump decided to be the first president to make a visual appearance at the march for life. Could you play this clip . Right now in a number of states, the laws allow a baby to be born from his or her mothers womb in the ninth month. It is wrong, it has to change. laughter trevor this is its shocking. Trevor its uncomfortable to ask. But is it true, are babies being born from their mothers womb . The shocking thing is its been happening for centuries. And trevor i mean, he says this. I honestly dont believe he cares which is why he didnt even notice he said it. But this is a rumor that you hear all the time that abortions are happening at nine months. Where is this happening and where is this information coming from . I dont know where he gets his information. Its absolutely not happening. I think its look, i think this is a classic example of the danger of having people in office, particularly people who can not get pregnant themselves making decisions about womens bodies and their lives. cheers and applause and were at the lowest abortion rate since roe was decided in large part because women are Getting Better access to Family Planning and Birth Control and a lot of that at planned parenthood. Trevor the womens march, one of the biggest gatherings held in las vegas. Planned parenthood was there, you were there. This year seemed to have a shift in a focus. If last year was about mobilizing people to march and to voice their concerns, this year seemed like it was about getting people out to do now, women to move into political positions, women running for office. You had remarks that were really powerful for me. You said, in your remarks about going out to vote, that white women need to be better. White women specifically need to be better to black women. What did that mean . applause well, i think yeah. Well, i would love to actually where it began, i think it is really important as a factual matter for folks to know is that women of color in this country are the most reliable voters. They show up to vote and when they do vote, they vote for people who support Womens Health and rights. And that is just something that is really important. applause and, so, my point in saying that is, one, to give credit where credit is due and to invest in women as activists and leaders. The rest of us need to do more. I just heard today 30,000 women asked emilys list to get training to run for office. Trevor wow. That is historic. applause trevor and, so, i do think its important, though. If women you know, if they register folks, if they educate them about whats at stake in elections or show up at the polls, women will absolutely dominate in the november 18 elections and its about time. Trevor with something that is so crucial, with the time that feels so crucial, we cant help notice there will be reports that come out, buzz feed, politico, Cecile Richards stepping down from planned parenthood, is now the time to step down . Does this feel like the time to step away when everything is mobilizing . Im not here to make any big announcements or pronouncements today. Planned parenthood has never been a more Important Organization and i have every day im president of this organization, i have been doing it for 12 years, i see the difference wemake in peoples lives. Its an honor of a lifetime is that could you see yourself working to get into office in some way . I dont know what my future holds, but i do know that i have been fortunate to be kind of a troublemaker my whole life. I was raised by a troublemaker. The late, great governor of texas ann richards. cheers and applause as my friend congressman john lewis would say, good trouble, i hope. Trevor yes. So whatever i do in my lifetime ive always been incredibly privileged to be able to, i hope, make a difference in the lives of folks who may just need a break, and, so, thats my hope. Thats my hope for my future. Trevor i wish you the best of luck. Thank you. Good to see you. cheers and applause trevor ceciles memoir, make trouble standing up, speaking out, and finding the courage to lead. Will be out there spring. Cecile richards, everybody. Well be right back cheers and applause