Second hand speedboat salesman declared trump would be the healthiest individual ever elected president . You guys remember that . And then we all laughed so hard because in 2015 health it individual and best president both sounded incredible ways to describe donald trump . laughter hes had his First Official examination by the navy doctor and we owe speedboat abapology. His health is excellent. His physical exam is very good. Hes very healthy. Uncorrected vision is 20 30, he can drive without glasses. I had absolutely no kerns about his cognitive ability. The president is mentally very sharp, very intact. Theres no indication whatsoever he has any cognitive issues. The dental exam, he has healthy teeth and gums. No other dental findings. He has no partial or dentures of any kind. Trevor no heart problems, no dementia, no dentures . But did you test for racism . laughter applause so it turns out, according to the official white house doctor, trump is completely sane, which makes me more worried because that means hes doing all of this shit on purpose . You covfefe in your normal mind . laughter to ask the nonexperts, the only thing that looks healthy about donald trump is hes shaped like a food pyramid. To say his health is excellent is like medicine is gas lighting us now. How is this possible . Explain how a guy who eats mcdonalds and kfc and all those diet cokes and never exercises is in as great shape as hes in . Genetics. I told the president if p he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years he might live to be 200 years old. Trevor my god if you think trump is racist at 71, imagine how racist hell be when hes 200 laughter to be honest, im not really surprised. Donald trump has dictator blood. Were used to this in africa and other places in the world, castro, m mogabi, the queen after the apocalypse, he will be the only one around giving speeches to cockroaches. Folks were going to build a roach motel whos going to pay for it . Mosquitoes laughter so all done, trump, youre healthy, we owe you an apology. But as pleased as we are to hear there is no threat were losing donald trump anytime soon, today is unfortunately a sad day because today we mourn the departure of another politician, new jersey governor Chris Christie. Chris christie leaves office today and becomes a private citizen for the first time in eight years, and he does so with low approval numbers, but in his final state of the state address last week, he says he leaves as a happier man than when he walked into the office eight years ago. Trevor i dont know how Chris Christie can be happy when hes leaving office with the lowest Approval Rating in new jersey history, 18 . Being that unpopular in 2018 and not having a Sexual Assault allegation takes talent. laughter but some people may not know that Chris Christies reputation wasnt always the turd on the bottom of new jerseys shoe. So tonight we look back at governor christies incredible rise and fall. cheers and applause when Chris Christie first took office in 2009, his Straight Talk approach was a breath of fresh air. Something new jersey hadnt had in decades. Throughout his first term in office christie became extremely popular in new jersey, especially among key demographics like guys who go ay oh and women who go, get out of here, anthony you ruined my daughters sweet 16 laughter he got very popular. Hes a roizing star in the world of politics. Its people who raise their voices and yell and scream like you that are dividing this country. Were here to bring this country together not divide it. Superstorm sandy left much to have the garden state devastated but is boosting the popularity of new jersey governor Chris Christie. 94 approve of governor christies handling of Hurricane Sandy recovery efforts. 74 Approval Rating in the bluest of blue states. The highest Approval Rating recorded for a new jersey governor. A landslide reelection victory. Is he now the man to beat for the republican president ial nomination . Trevor wow, Chris Christie was so popular, people thought he could one day be president , and people only say that about the top governors and firstterm senators and tv stars and sports owners and relatives of president s and beyonce. laughter okay. Yeah, im saying to beyonce, i am applause but, alas, despite all his success, Chris Christie had the fatal flaw of a tragic character. He was an asshole. laughter dont get me wrong, in new jersey, you can be an asshole. I mean, asshole is their state bird. laughter but christie was an asshole about the one thing no one in jersey is willing to tolerate, traffic. Bridge gate. This, of course, is the political scandal surrounding the office of governor Chris Christie over the shutdown of lanes to the George Washington bridge. This came as apparent political payback against a mayor who would not endorse it. I am embarrassed and humiliated by the conduct of some of the people on my team. Trevor that seemed like an apology until it got to the end. Im so ashamed of what these dip shits have done. laughter the lesson we all learned from bridge gate was you cant get back at somebody by pissing off everybody else. Thats going to backfire. Its like getting revenge on a mean Flight Attendant by releasing a bunch of bees in the plane. You guys are with me, right . I requested vegan laughter so after bridge gate, christies Approval Ratings plummeted from the 70s to the mid 40s, but thats a level you can recover from. So Chris Christie had two choices, buckle down and work hard for the great state of new jersey or ditch those spray tans and go tore the white house so he chose option two and it was all downhill from there. Governor christie is getting grilled about prioritizing the campaign trail over his snowy and flooded state. The governor spent all or part of 261 days out of the state last year. Right after dropping his own president ial bid, christie endorsed trump. Seven papers in new jersey have called on christie to resign. Christies Approval Rating stands now at only 21 . 18 now tied for second worst in recent history. Trevor the second worst Approval Rating. Poor Chris Christie you know what his problem was . In 2012, he didnt run for president when he should have and then, in 2016, he ran when he shouldnt have run. His timing was off. And in life, typing is everything. Timing is what separates a normal person from a pedophile. laughter audience reacts and heres what makes Chris Christie a legend having hit such a low point, a more ordinary governor would try to raise his popularity, but christie is a special person. He decided if he was going to be the worst, he would be the best worst. First there was bridge gate and now beach gate. Christies beach outing over the fourth of july holiday caused a National Scandal because this particular beach was closed to the general public due to a State Government shutdown. The garden state first family allowed to use the closed beach, closed to many new jersey president. I dont want apologize for it or back away from it and i thik my poll numbers show i dont care about political optics. Trevor say what you want about Chris Christie he went down in style. Read my lips this beach is shut down any questions . Ill be at the beach. To rub it in, he build a special sand castle for everyone. laughter which is probably why on this last day of his term the people of new jersey told him how they felt. When asked about the end of christies term, only 5 said they will miss the republican governor. Trevor just 5 will miss him. Chris christie, my friend, now that youre not governor, are you sure that you want to stay in a state that hates you that much . Like, if i were you, i would just leave, and heres the good news if you get out now, you can miss all that bridge traffic. Well be right back cheers and applause ohhhhhh, ou guess what i just got . Uh i used to be spellbound hello again. I used to be spellbound hi. I used to be spellbound thats a big phone. In your arms. [screams] ah, my phone. You built the flame that warms my heart, but lying and cheating has torn us apart and im moving on. The winter of 77. Uring i first met james in 5th grade. We got married after college. And had twin boys. But then one night, a truck didnt stop. But thanks to our forester, neither did our story. And thats why well always drive a subaru. Are you one sneeze away from being voted out of the carpool . Try zyrtec®. Its starts working hard at hour one. And works twice as hard when you take it again the next day. Stick with zyrtec® and muddle no more®. Introducing taco bells latest work of art the dollar stacker. Lavish layers of seasoned beef and melty cheese another 1 masterpiece only at taco bell. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. The future, its coming fast and its here now, which means ronny chieng is back with another installment of todays future now. cheers and applause trevor thanks. Thanks, trevor. Last week was a Consumer Tech show in las vegas. Not everything needs a computer chip hear that fit bit . Waiting for me to lose some weight . Its by taking you off, damn it you judgmental bastard laughter the big theme of this years was laysies, let a robot do it. Selfdriving cars were big players at the the electronics show. Electronic biten sees the future as a Movie Theater on wheels. More Voice Control coming to cars as auto makers enhance selfdriving features and turn the dashboard into a movie screen. Dont need movies on the dashboard. Driverless cars is new technology. If something goes wrong i dont want the last thing i see to be 50 shades darker because thats the only movie i will be watching in a driverless car, its romantic and my hands are free. cheers and applause but while some cars are encouraging me to zone out, other cars are demanding that i focus harder . Nissan is working on what it calls braintovehicle technology which reads your brain waives to help control the car. This is a piece you put on your head. It has sensor probes underneath it and when you don this, it will connect to a future nissan vehicle to wirelessly communicate what im thinking to the vehicle trevor who wants a mindreading car . You know whats going on in here, right . Im going for grocery and instead end up at my exgirlfriends house. I mean, i do that anyway but i want it to be my choice. laughter what is wrong with driving a car with your hands and you your eyeballs . These people think we cant take a dump without a. I. Thanks to the internet, this is what you can do. Alexa, ask koehler to flush the toilet. Okay. Koehler connects to the internet and you can command it to help lift the seat, heat up and other essential tasks but it will cost you. It runs 5,625 and up. 5,000 for lex is a to flush my toilet . Listen, exget a guy off craigslist to do that for me and hell pay me. Also, i dont want my toilet connected to amazon, theyre going to start showing me targeted ads for prudence. laughter these Tech Companies are obsessed with whats going on below my waist. This is smart underwear. It can read your body temperature, heart rate, calories, steps, inside your underwear. Trevor a supercomputer in my crotch is a horrible idea except when youre not performing this bed, then its a great excuse. Sorry, baby i got hacked. Them russians cheers and applause i know, those russians these russians are trying to influence my erection laughter and the stupid ass Smart Devices just keep coming. You dont have to carry this carryon luggage, when paired with a hightech wrist band, it follows you using sensors and cameras. Its smart enough to use facial recognition so it shouldnt start following someone else. Fourwheel drive with a max speed of 7 miles an hour. Trevor why are you giving my luggage a mind of its own . If it doesnt show up, i wont know if the airline lost it or it pulled the 12years a slave on me. If i want something small to follow me through the airport and carry all my crap, ill have kids. Thats what those things are for. laughter to these geniuses at c. E. S. Have figured out everything. Only one thing can go wrong. Im here at the Consumers Electronics show at the Las Vegas Center and about 12 minutes ago all the power went out in the central hall and the south hall entirely. All the power went out at c. E. S. . Thats like if you were at an amish convention and all the power went on. One power surge, my stuff is useless, i have to flush my own toilet, carry my own luggage, measure my erection the Old Fashioned way, find the guy on craigslist. Back to you trevor. cheers and applause well be right back you are a city city wall, city wall she could be dancing down a hall, dancing down a hall were turning heads, were turning heads, were turning heads, oh yeah and nothing can stop us now then he tried tostitos scoopsl foand salsa. And started following them in real life. Hey, mike. sup . Oh. Tostitos. Bring the party. My names dustin. Hey, dustin. Grab a seat. Woman okay. Moderator nice to meet you. Have you ever had car trouble in a place like this . roaring of truck yes and it was like the worst experience of my life. Seven lanes of traffic and i was in the second lane. When i get into my car, i want to know that its going to get me from point a to point b. Well, then i have some good news. Chevy is the only brand to receive j. D. Power dependability awards for cars, trucks and suvs two years in a row. Woman wait laughing i definitely feel like im in a dependable vehicle right now. Woman 2 i want a chevy now. Woman 3 i know woman 2 i want a chevy now. Nothing. What u doin . Hey. Break through. Break through. Unstop right there im about to pop a cap of mmm fresh in that washer. With unstopables inwash scent boosters by downy. Ah, its so fresh. And its going to last from wash to. Wear for up to 12 weeks. Unstopables by downy. Woman wow. The new world. [music playing] no way. Man rated t for teen. Playstation, the best place to play. We can now simulate the exact anatomyh care, of a patients brain before surgery. If we can do that, imagine what we can do for seizures. And if we can fix damaged heart valves without open heart surgery, imagine what we can do for an irregular heartbeat, even high blood pressure. If we can use analyze each patients Breast Cancer to personalize their treatment, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show my guest tonight is an International Superstar who is starring in the new fx series the assassination of Ginanni VersaceAmerican Crime story. Please welcome ricky martin cheers and applause whats up . yeah cheers and applause thank you cheers and applause Puerto Ricans here trevor you have fans in the house. Everyones from puerto rico. So nice. Trevor welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Trevor so good to have you. So cool. Trevor youre performing all over the world. Youre back in vegas now . Its busy. Going back to vegas for my Second Season for my residency. Trevor exciting. Start in march, really exciting. Trevor how many shows for your residency . March until july. You do ten shows, do a break and another ten and take a break. Its not like broadway. Trevor thats not insane at all, ten shows. laughter but we take a break. Im just really excited, man. Vegas has been amazing for me. Im doing Gianni Versace the series. My familys doing amazing. Were traveling a lot. cheers and applause trevor lets talk about this series. Its a story a lot of people have been waiting for. With the story of o. J. , people felt it was a story that didnt just go into a murder but a tale that talked about race. The story of Gianni Versace is one that cannot be separated from the story on how people treat the lgbtq community. This is true. Trevor was this important for you to be a part of the story . This is one of the reasons i said yes i need to be part of this. Theres a lot of injust in the Gianni Versace story, and when ryan murphy called me and told me everything we were going to be talking about, i said, yes, definitely, i want to be here, but, of course, i want to be part you ever show. Penelope cruz, edgar rarmirez, working with people i love and the story is fascinating. Its not how he died, its why he died. Why did we allow that to happen . I mean, the killer, he was on the list of most wanted by the f. B. I. He was living in miami, he was not hiding, and they never got him. Trevor when you look at Gianni Versaces life, you look at someone who is so powerful and so revered and yet, at the same time, a human being who struggled to come out. Yes. Trevor now, there is often a misconception in that coming out is easy for anyone. People go, come out, its easy. Its always easier than it seems. Is this part of a story that related to you as ricky martin . My friend, you have no idea. It took me a while. I was surrounded by friends who said dont come out, that will be the end of your career. People who love me, people who knew me well and are victim of homophobia. I grew up in a culture telling me my feelings were horrible and evil. Trevor right. If you add to that the fact i was a heart throb, a sex symbol. Trevor oh, yeah, thats true. cheers and applause everybody was telling me, its going to be the end of your career. Trevor right. And it was extremely painful to me until i said i cant take it anymore. Its not about me or whats happening outside. Its what i need in order for me to be happy. Then i had my kids and i said i have to come out. Im not going to lie to these beautiful kids. Thats not the point. Life works in cycles. Its very interesting. Look what im doing today. Im talking on people being hurt through acting. Thats an amazing story. Trevor you said you went into something that was about yourself and became about other people which is sort of the story of your life because in many ways puerto rico has been you going into a story of yourself. Yeah is that and now you look at what happened to the island after the disaster, and am i correct in saying you have helped raise over 5 million . And we are still raising cheers and applause yeah. Trevor, its been more than three months and there are still 14000000 people in puerto rico living out electricity or running water. Kids arent going to school because there is no le electricy or water with school. Me and my Alliance Working with habitat for humanity, i want to Start Building homes. Thats the next phase. My foundation and hundreds of men and women volunteering since day one to make puerto rico a better place, something i will always be so thankful. But more thankful i am to every one of you that went ant donated 5 here, 10 there, 15 here. And of course big corporations as well but at the end of the day it was people from all over the world hoping for the best from puerto rico. Trevor if people want to donate, help out the foundation, prek o what can they do . You caring. Com ricky martin. You can donate 1 to 10,000, whatever you want. Trevor we can go to Ricky Martin Foundation and check out the link. Thank you, man. Trevor the assassination of Gianni VersaceAmerican Crime story, 17th of january on fx. Ricky martin, everybody well be right back cheers and applause mom and dad got a new car. With the extra third row of seats. They think its theirs. Look at them, they have no idea its not theirs. Its mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. The new lexus rx 350l with three rows for seven passengers. Are you excited about your baby sister coming . Experience space for the unexpected with the rx l, part of the rx family. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. Wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena tens of millions of people have switched to unlimited on americas most awarded network. Verizon . Uh, woah, woah, woah vince. It was ranked highest in Network Quality performance nationwide by j. D. Power and rated number 1 in the nation by rootmetrics 8 times running. Its totally verizon. Vince we can see the sign. The vs sticking out. Anyway, the most awarded network is. Verizon vince you didnt know what it was. You did . Okay. When we win, you win. Switch to the best network with the best unlimited and get up to 450 off our best phones. If you could see your cough, youd see all the sickness youre spreading. Robitussin cf max. Nothing lasts longer and treats more symptoms for your cough, cold and flu. elevator bell ringing robitussin cf max severe. Because its never just a cough. Robitussin cf max severe. They cahow many of em . E, sir we dont know. Dozens. All right lets teach these freaks some manners good luck out there, captain thanks but i dont need luck, i have skills. I dont have my keys. on intercom all hands. We are looking for the captains keys again. They are on a silver carabiner. Oh, this is bad. As long as people misplace their keys, you can count on geico saving folks money. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. cheers and applause trevor well, thats our show for tonight. Stay tuned for the opposition with jordan klepper. Now here it is. Your moment of zen. There is a focus on health tech fra babies to seniors. Hip bags, air bags for your hips. Gyroscopes detect when youre falling and trigger the co2 canister. cheers and applause big news. Today, the white house admitted what weve all suspected for a very long time donald trump needs to lose 1520 pounds. Hey, buddy, youre not alone. You and me can be accountability buddies. But today, his new doctor, ronny jackson, gave us an even bigger gift some people have, you know, just great genes. I told the president that if he had a healthier diet over the last 20 years, he might live to be 200 years old. laughter jordan 200 years thats longer than most sexy vampires. Just look at what trump has gotten done in one year. Now close your eyes and imagine what hell do in 100 more. Are you screaming . With joy