The rest of the world hears. The translators. We assembled five translators from all over the world to hear their experiences when it comes to translating trump. Of all the people youve had to translate, where does President Trump fall . Hes probably the worst that ive ever translated. Trump is incoherent. And he changes his mind in the middle of a sentence. Sometimes his message is not quite grammatical and seems a little bit uneducated. I would say its not particularly difficult to translate trump. All right, get the [bleep] out of here. Get this guy out of here. Russian kramer aside, how does one translate trump with all these obstacles . Sometimes i lie. You lie . I have to. No, no, no, but you cant do that. You cant do that because, see, we are counting on you to translate President Trump accurately to the rest of the world. Okay. I am accurate 97 of the time. 97 you translate trump correctly . Yeah. Yeah. But the 3 3 you have to fake it. 3 of the time you have to fake it. To makes sense, otherwise youre gonna look like an idiot yourself. It makes us sound stupid. Bingbing. Bongbong. Bingbingbing. How would you translate that . Bingbing. Bongbong. Interesting. Okay, maybe that was a softball, but how about this memorable quote . A total and complete shutdown of muslims entering the United States until our countrys representatives can figure out. What the hell is going on. What the hell is going on. Theres no equivalent to what the hells going on in arabic. Thats unfortunate cause that would be a widelyused turn to phrase. Thats one of the main issues. Trumps special vocabulary doesnt always exist in other languages. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by the pussy. Is there a japanese word for this . Sure. Thats [speaking japanese]. No, thats not gonna work. Its too cute. Its too cute. Okay. How about this . Roast beef . Kind of. Beef curtains. Beef curtains. Mmhmm. Beef curtain [speaking japanese]. Try that. We will build the wall, and mexico is going to pay for the wall. [speaking spanish] okay, that isno, there is warmness in your eyes. Youre smiling. That is not the way he said it. You have to do it like he does it. People at home are gonna think hes joking. People have a sensitivity, so you dont want to offend them more than he already has, you know . No, you got to give them the trump. Whos gonna pay for the wall . No mexico. Yeah. No, i know mexicos not gonna pay, but trump believes that mexicos gonna pay for the wall, so if youre gonna translate him, you have to believe it too. Whos gonna pay for the wall . Nobody is gonna pay for that wall in mexico. I know. I know. I know. What is wrong with these translators . No one is capturing the true trump. Its not just his words. Theres something more. The poor guy, you got to see this guy. Oh, i dont know what i said. Ah, i dont remember. Hes going, like, i dont remember. Well, maybe thats what i said. Yeah, thats pretty accurate. I think you kind of got the gist of that. Im trump for the moment while i am interpreting his words. This beautiful mime was right. Thats what these translators were missing. They needed to embody trump, his tone, his mannerisms, his sexism, the whole package. And down with a dumb face. Uh. Uh. Grab them by the pussy. Grab them by the pussy. Sad. Sad. Triste. Triste. After a grueling seven minutes of training, these translators were ready. With cojones. [speaking spanish] there you go. Muy bien. [speaking japanese] nailed it. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Okay, thatsthats good. Thank you. Thank you. You can cut. [dramatic music] i know what youre thinking. How did my incredibly chiseled body end up here . Enjoy your drugs. Next. Pickup for ronny chieng. Right. 25 milligram daraprim. Thatll be 45,909. 10. Wait, did you say 45,909 . And 10 cents. How is that even possible . How did this medicine become so expensive . I went home to do some research. Yes, this is how i do research. Its the future, okay . Deal with it. One tablet of daraprim used to cost 13. 50. The drug maker recently increased the price to 750. Apparently in america Drug Companies can do whatever the hell they want, and thats exactly what this asshole did. Remember Martin Shkreli . He was the one who raised the price of the lifesaving drug, daraprim. In response to all of this attention, are you gonna change the price . No. I also found out that a group in australia managed to replicate the same drugs for just 2 bucks a pill. At that price, its cheaper for me to fly to australia than to buy it in america, so i did, and guess what . The scientists responsible were. These high school nerds. Meet the young chemists from sydney grammars all boys high school. Man, i love it. All that time you couldve wasted going on dates and having a life you guys channeled in to your science. I guess. Yeah. What were trying to do is just to demonstrate that this drug doesnt deserve to be pricehiked to 750 a pill. Except for one guy who went on a tweeting rampage against them when their success started to make headlines. We were able to do this in a school lab with cheap School Equipment compared to a fullyfledged facility that he has, and when you compare the spectroscopy, we got very high yield, very high purity, so our synthesis game is also on lock, shkreli. Oh, snap. They talk science and trash, and they can back it up. Wheres this magic stuff you made . There it is. Wonderful little beautiful white powder. Thats it . Yep, thats it. And how much is that worth . Its about worth a bit over 100,000. The street value of that is 100,000 . In the u. S. , yeah. So how did you guys celebrate your newfound wealth . We didnt make money from it. Were just making it to prove a point, really. Hang on. Wait a second. So you created a drug, and you made no money from it . No. No. What are they teaching you at this school . Sciscience . Which takes us back to where we were. [dramatic music] i needed a large supply of pharmaceuticals to bring back to the states to make milli mean, save millions of lives, and i knew just the people to make it happen. All right, listen, you australian genius brats, i need drugs, lots of drugs. Keep mixing that. Go. Why are you in underwear . Look, i dont know much about chemistry, but i know you got to take your pants off when you do it, okay . Thats basic science. Science, bitch [hiphop music] this pitchmas, lets accafinish this. [ all cheering ] hell yeah. The bellas, we show them that we are not a joke. End on a high note. [ vocalizing ] what a beautiful group. Everyone of them going nowhere. Rated pg13. Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow. But after an electrical fire from faulty wiring, marys vintage clothing and designer shoe collection were ruined. Luckily, the Geico Insurance agency had recently helped mary with renters insurance, and she got a totally fab replacement wardrobe at bloomingdales. Mary was inspired to start her own fashion line, exclusively for little lambs. Visit geico. Com and see how affordable renters insurance can be. train whistle blowing i want a rabbit. What about you . M well, i want an iphone. Make sure you get that on verizon. Its the most awarded network ever. And if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. vo give the gift of iphone 8 and get one on us. Ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. What are you doing after this . Man rated e to m. [i feel you by depeche mode] i feel you within my mind i feel you you take me home to glorys throne by and by i feel you man now starting at 199 man now starting at 199 and roomba from irobot gets to work using two multisurface brushes and powerlifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. Daily dirt doesnt stand a chance. You and roomba from irobot. Better together. [hiphop music] coal. Its americas hottest item at 2017. Suck on it, fidget spinners. President djt is going allin on coal by pulling out of the paris climate agreement like its about to get pregnant and knocking down coal regulation like theyre high fives from ted cruz. Get off me, ted but heres the thing, coal jobs have been on the decline since the 1920s, and no matter how much trump deregulates, theyll keep declining because of automation, natural gas, and whatever the hell elon musk is inventing, and people in coal country know this. Weve seen times come when coal jobs were gone, but they came back strong, but this time its different. I wish theyd come back, but i dont think theyre gonna be back like it was. So if the glory days of coal are over, what happens now . Are there other solutions . Well, to find out, of course the daily show sent its only brown correspondent to the heart of coal country im sure ill fit right in. [country rock music] one Government Agency working to revitalize coal country is the appalachian regional commission, or arc. The commissions Economic Development philosophy is based on simple principles. New industry requires a healthy, skilled workforce. One of the arcs many efforts is a Software DevelopmentTraining Program called teky. To make teky happen, the arc partnered with local firm interapt, so i met with kentucky native and interapt ceo ankur gopal. Wait, hold up. This dudes name is ankur gopal . You know this segment is called brown in town . Oh, i did i did not know that. Im supposed to be the one brown in town. Ah. Well, now we got to do the song again. [country rock music] so some people say these reTraining Programs that are funded by federal agencies dont work. Look, i wouldnt have done this if i didnt think this would work. Weve seen people already move off of food stamps because of our program. Weve seen people already improve their health and improve their lifestyle, so were seeing this Ripple Effect occur by the work were doing. So my kentucky doppelganger believes in teky, but what about an actual trainee . Meet alex hughs who used to install Office Equipment at coal mines. Here was a guy with zero coding experience who now works fulltime as a Software Developer at ankurs company. Coding was something that was always fascinated me. The teky program took all the roadblocks out of the way and said, okay, heres your opportunity to learn how to code, and wed never had that before. Even if all the coal jobs came back magically today, it still doesnt change that we were dependant on a single industry. I mean, you know, this is great, but its not something that we can continue to depend on because weve now seen how quickly this can go away. Okay, so it sounds like arc initiatives like teky can help here, and we know President Trump wants to help this region. Ah, coal country. What theyve done were gonna take care of a lot of years of horrible abuse, okay . Were gonna take and you can count on it. So im sure trump also supports the arcs efforts. Among the things on the chopping block in trumps new budget, the appalachian regional commission, or arc. He wants to eliminate the arc which is vitally important to these small communities in appalachia. Oh, never mind. He doesnt give a [bleep], even though the arc has bipartisan support in congress, and its helped create or retain over 100,000 jobs in the last five years, including the one held by alex. How do you personally feel about the arc being on the chopping block . I think its a huge mistake. What ankur is doing and what interapt and arc are partnering to do is change me and people like me, so even if something were to happen and they leave, i still have the tools. So trump says he cares about coal country but wants to cut a program that helps people who dream of pursuing something other than coal. Its almost as if my fellow brown in town knows whats better for the region than the orange man in the hardhat. Ankurs the son of immigrants, and he insourced jobs, instead of outsourcing them. Thats right. An american citizen providing jobs for americans in his community. Yeah. What were doing here is very american. So. Youre saying brown people make America Great . Of course they do. Heres hoping that the arc doesnt get cut. Not only is it helping people get jobs. Its a really long time for a hug. Its okay. Im here now. All right. Its also helping brown people get some love. Yeah, this is getting weird. Now, why does facebook make those friendship moments without asking first if we still tight . I log on, and it says you and jamia have been friends for eight years, and it starts showing pictures and [bleep], but i hate her now. I dont want to see that. We believe that Going Forward there are opportunities not just for us to do better, but for us to Work Together to make sure were all addressing this threat appropriately. The bitch stole my man. I apologize. Imim trying to answer the question. You know what . Its not your fault. Its not your fault. Google says im 58. Im 59. What do you know about that . Were also very concerned about this kind of deceptive and divisive content. I dont need mother[bleep] out there thinking im short. That seems reasonable. Yeah, it does. Fix it. Dulce sloan, everybody. Well be right back. [hiphop music] its a good, good, good time to be alive. Oh yeah. Pizza with pepsi. Delicious. Ahhh. Ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. What are you doing after this . Come to a complete stop. Repeat as necessary. Recalculating. Free, free, set me free. In one mile, arrive at a place where you make your own lane. Only to discover. It has traffic jams too. Your all new compass at tmobile when you holiday twogether, great things come in twos. Like tmobile and netflix. Right now when you get an unlimited family plan, netflix is included. Wow tmobile covers your netflix subscription, so you can catch the hottest new movies and shows all year long on us. Amazing and its your last chance to buy any of these hot new Samsung Galaxy phones and get a 2nd one free. Thats one samsung for you and one to gift. Just in time to finish off your list. Tmobile. Holiday twogether. [hiphop music] chicago has a crime problem. Chicago is like a war zone. And our orange man in chief has the solution. President trump threatened to send in the feds. But theres another option for stopping violence in Chicago Community engagement. Thats the strategy of the Grassroots Program ceasefire. The violence in chicago, its not just a Chicago Police department problem. Its a community problem. Everybody have to be involved. On the south side, one shooting always leads to another, so ceasefire tries to stop this retaliatory violence through mediation. We could mediate anything, man. Who sold some bad stuff to somebody or whatever, or who robbed somebody. And it could be relationship beef. It could be a bad drug deal. Like, lets say your girl gave your netflix password away. You pull up your netflix, and it asks you if you want to finish watching narcos, but you was never watching narcos, which means she gave your password to another dude. We mediate all kind of conflicts, man. Im gonna need your number, man. But dont think this guys some kumbaya selfhelp dude. I got a lot of exs in my life. Im a exgang member, a exgang leader, exdrug dealer. Thats the key to this work. Violence interrupters come from the same neighborhoods as the guys theyre trying to reach kind of like how mr. Rogers stopped all those puppet shootings in the 70s. But even with all that experience, this aint an easy job. Ive been shot at a couple of times mediating gang conflicts. Hold on. Youve been shot at . Yes, while doing this job. Dispatch, this is 212 victor. Show me southbound is that a real radio, roy . Huh . Thats a real radio . You talking to some real people . I donti hope its on. [gibberish] armed with only fliers and their mouths, ceasefire patrols the most dangerous neighborhoods of chicago like south shore, where last year there were over 1,100 Violent Crimes reported. Guys from the neighborhood warned us that out here even talking can be dangerous. It could be you dont know me, i dont know you, but it could be the way i say, whats up . So then how the [bleep] should i say hello in chicago . Exactly. It could be, oh, your bags too little. So you buy an ounce, you weigh it, and it aint an ounce. Yep. So some of your weed got arugula in it. Uhhuh. I needed to see ceasefire in action, so i created a realistic scenario of a drug deal gone bad. Pardon me, sir, i purchased some weed from you earlier, and it is of not the finest quality. Perhaps a refund is in order . Nah. Pretty please, sir. For my safety and your safety, im gonna get you from that scenario. Im gonna take you out to buy you something to eat first. Why, cause i got the munchies cause i just smoked . Thats why youre gonna give me some food . First of all, you are gonna withdraw cause it could escalate to something different. Theres a Bigger Picture to ceasefire than passing damn weed around here, man. Theres people out here that go run and get guns because everybody else got one, but maybe if there was more opportunities and more jobs, cause everybodys just out here trying to survive. And thats what people outside chicago arent getting. Theres a Bigger Picture to life on the south side that violence is just one part of, and shootings have gone down by an average of 43 where ceasefire is active. In one south side neighborhood, homicides went down from 49 per year to 34. I lived on this block, grew up on this block, and saw everything on this block, and you know, yall are cool. I see you all care a little bit. We hear you, dog. I dont know how we gonna cease the fire. We gonna try. You know, but we cool, man. I appreciate yall coming through. What ceasefire does is not glamorous or hightech or action packed, but this is what actual Crime Fighting looks like. How could we make people get that . The same way we make americans get everything make it a basic cable show. No tasers. No vest. No guns, and definitely no explosions, but they do have fliers, and their mouths. [dramatic music] hey, bro, your life could be better. I need more fliers. Ah [screaming in slowmotion] hey. How you doing, man . I just want you to stop the violence. The windy city. Just got windier. Mouthside chicago. train whistle blowing i want a rabbit. What about you . Well, i want an iphone. Make sure you get that on verizon. Its the most awarded network ever. And if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. vo give the gift of iphone 8 and get one on us. Listerine® total care strengthens teeth, after brushing, helps prevent cavities and restores tooth enamel. Its an easy way to give listerine® total care to the total family. Listerine® total care. One bottle, six benefits. Power to your mouth™. [hiphop music] new yorks mayor and walking beanstalk bill de blasio is considering removing a bunch of statues, including mr. 1492, but what do the people want . To gauge public opinion, i did the obvious thing, created a fake tour company with a catchy name to see which statues found the most offensive. Our first stop was columbus circle. Hey, guys, this is, of course, famous Christopher Columbus, not the director of home alone, the famous explorer. Without him a lot of european descendants like myself wouldnt be here. That being said, he also enslaved, annihilated, decimated an entire native people. Now, who thinks that we should take down this statue of Christopher Columbus . Raise your hands. Sir, lets start with you. Why should we take him down . Should take him down cause hes an idiot. Okay. Heading up Central Park West we realized statues arent the only offensive structures in new york. Who thinks that should be taken down . All whoo but we were just getting started. Further downtown problematic statues sprung up everywhere. This next statue, everyone, is a nobrainer. He inspired millions through his message of love. Obviously im talking about legendary actor sir ben kingsley. Thats gandhi. Thatsthats who . Gandhi. I dont know who that is, so youre wrong, and im right. Coming up on the left is a whoa, huh . Thats [bleep] weird. As we sat drenched in cold rain, we realized that there was no good solution, so inspired by the high level of internet discussion, we came up with the next best thing. Turn every statue into a comment board. Now everyone will know that you think columbus was a guido, but at least theres one thing we can all agree on. I mean, why is it dogs . Should be humans. Humans take pictures. Michael kosta, everybody. Well be right back. [hiphop music] [man mimics tone and coughs] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central applause . Jordan welcome to the opposition. My guest tobt is astronaut and author scott kelly. I assume hes here to beg forgiveness for abandoning earth. laughter but lets get moving. You hear that . A christmas bell. And like that old war documentary says every time a bell rings an altrighteous angel gets her wings. And today that angel is roy moore spokeswoman and master media manipulator janet porter. With the Alabama Senate special election less than a week away she has been winning interviews against the msm. Lack how she owns cnn poppee harlow right from the start