Oh, man. Oh, boy. Have a seat, eric. Now, boys, i, for one, am sick and tired of this little feud youre having, mkay . This has clearly gone too far, and you owe each other an apology, or youre getting detention. An apology . He shot me well, he was technically standing his ground, token. Yeah, token, thats the law. Everything inside the red line is lava. Well, its a pretty [bleep] stupid law token, calm down. And why does standing your ground not apply to [bleep] white people . Oh, god, here we go again [thud] captioning sponsored by from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause . Trevor thank you so much, everybody. Welcome to the daily show. Thank you for tuning in. Im trevor noah. My guest tobt, my guest tonight, president obamas official white house photographer here with a new book pete souza is joining us, everybody. But first, but first, you probably know by now this morning in new york some isis wannabee tried to blow himself up and fortunately it did not go well for him. He wasnt an accomplished bomb maker because he was the only one who sustained serious injuries. All of the victims saying they had ringing in their ears, they had headaches but again, they are in stable condition. The injuries were so minor that they actually went out and took a taxi themselves to the hospital to get checked out. People are handling this as new yorkers often handling this, not looking particularly panicked, looking more annoyed and aggrieved. Trevor can i tell you i love living in new york, yeah, because in new york city its even hard to make it as a terrorist. Yeah. Yeah. You might be the best terrorist in your little ass town but this is new york beotch. You know, the ree irony here is this this guy had killed 4eu78 self an went to hell, he would still be at the Port Authority bus terminal thasm is where he would end up. So not only no one was seriously hurt, this was maybe the fifth worst thing someone disn o the subway today. Subway masturbatedders are like i will show you guys a real explosion. And then isis comes out, oh, we cleaned on the f tray but we done know the bomb gierks he is a failure. But still, still, there wasnt an attempted terrorist attack in new york. For more on this please welcome hasan minhaj, everybody. applause hasan, hasan, as a muslim. Let me stop you right there trevor, i know where this is going, okay, have i already condemned the whole thing, all right. Consider it condemned, went to twitter, copy, paste, control c, control v, condemned, all right. Its not just terrorism, i condemn everything bad, okay. I condemn world hunger. I condemn jordan peele gold an globe snub, i condemn wearing sweat pants to work and i condemn using the eggplant emoji as a penis. I condemn all fad things. But seriously you guys, in times like this, its important to recognize that these acts do not reflect the values of billions of people. Trevor sure, whatever, hasan minhaj, everybody. Lets move on, lets move on. Thank you so much. Thats what we need. Thats what we need, to condemn. Lets move on now and talk about donald trump. Who i disobt know if you heard, is americas president. Right . I say that because he dnt seem to know that. This weekend he held another can pain rally to audition for the job he already has. And i dont know if i would vote for him as president , but if this was last comic standing, he would definitely make top five. They call themselves the resistance. Do you ever see these signs, resist, resist. applause laughter . Trevor donald j. Trump does not give a [bleep]. Will make fun of anyone who is against him. Like when mule certificate leading him to jail, he will probably still be like oh, look at you with your handcuffs work your handcuffs. I have the right to remain silent, hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. Now if you happen to be one of trumps haters, first suck it and second maybe because you know facts and logic you have missed how awesome the last ten months have been. The ten months have i done more on knocking out regulations than any other president in our history. You know who was right up there, honest abb lincoln, you can believe it . He was a regulation cutter. Can you believe it . applause abe lincoln was the regulation kiter who would have known that . I said you mean i beat abraham lincoln, thats pretty good for ten months. Trevor okay, thats just a weird thing to brag about. Of all the things lincoln is known for deregulation is probably not even on the list. Its the beard, abolishing slavery and then the hat. But deregulation, like bragging about being better than lincoln at deregulation say it is like say rug better than Serena Williams at microsoft e cell, it doesnt make sense, who cares. And just like deregulating aid, donald truch is apparently also beloved by those of the danke shane. I love these guise, look at these guise, blacks for trump, i love you. I love you. Any hispanics here . Any hispanics . Any hispanics . You guys were great. Trevor you know what i love, you know what i love is when trump calls hispanics, they dont know whether to respond. Any his tannics because even if you support him you werent sure which which way it is being any his painings here, and some of them are like, is this going to be a good thing . Any hispanics s this a trap, should we say we are here. Any hispanics here, yay, i love you guys, whooo. Get out of my country. But donald trump didnt take this break from consuming tv and 12 diet cokes a day just to make jokes. He held this rally to support the alabama snant candidate, and americas oldest prom king, roy moore. And we want jobs, jobs, jobs. So get out and vote for roy moore. Do it, do it. This guy is scream weg want roy moore. Hes right. Trevor yeah, yeah, but what trump didnt say is that guy screaming is a High School Hall monitor, that is what he is. Is he like roy moore is our most wanted, get him now of course there are still people asking, how could President Trump support the man credibly accused of Sexual Misconduct by so many women. Well, its simple, people. Birds of a feather molest together. A group of women accusing President Trump of Sexual Misconduct are banding together and calling for an investigation. Three of them just wrapped up a News Conference here in new york city demanding he be held accountable. I asked that congress put aside their Party Affiliations and investigate mr. Trumps history of Sexual Misconduct. Trevor yeah, dont forget, 18 women have accused 2ru6r7 of sexually harassing them. And in the last year, he went and became president and they have gotten everything from abuse online to Death Threats which seems fair to some. But in the wake of the metoo movement, these women have regrouped and theyre telling their stories again. He shook my hand, you know and gave me the normal double cheek kiss. But then he held on to my hand and he kept kissing me. And then he kissed me on the lips. And i was shocked, yeah. I mean, devastated. They served a meal and after the meal was cleared, all of a sudden he is all over me, kissing and groping. When his hand started going up my skirt, im not a small person. I managed to wiggle out. Trevor that last story is particularly harrowing. Not only does she say that trump secretaries ultly assaultedded her, but she also had to sit on that plane and watch him eat. That is a double trauma, people. And now with these allegations coming up again, the white house has responded saying three things. That they support women, that not even the president is above the law, and Sexual Harassment should be universally condemned. And also they said none of those three things. The president addressed the comment back during the campaign. We feel strong leigh that the people of this country alsod reed that when they elected donald trump to be president. And i have addressed it several times from here and dont have anything new to ad. Trevor in south africa we have a wrd for what sarah hublg a bee sanders did we say foots to it. Which means you brought it as is, she basically foots to it the president of the United States. She is like if you didnt want a handsy president you shund have paid full price t is yours now, you have to keep it but here is the problem. Here is the problem. Winning an election doesnt determine a persons innocence or guilt, that is what Law Enforcement is for. You cant murder someone and then run for class president. All right. And be like well, the people have spoang. I guess that whole murder thing is done, yeah, pizza friday, everybody . Yeah, yeah. It doesnt work like that. And at this point, there is only one question i have. Do republicans actually care about Sexual Assault . I mean as a problem, not an opportunity. Because this is has all happened before. Just before doned a trumps election the pussy tape came out. These women spoke out and still republicans voted him into office. But they argued oh no, no, no, we arent condoning Sexual Assault, we just hate the pants lady. But on tuesday in alabama they look to make the same decision againment which means roy moore would enter the senate, and the only people who could hold him accountable for his aks will be the republican leadership. And i think we all know how that will turn out. Well be right back. Its a small finger. A worm like, a dagger . A tiny sword . Bread. Breadstick . A matchstick a lamppost coin slot no . Uhhh. 10 seconds. A stick a Walking Stick eiffel tower, Mount Kilimanjaro ding time sorry, its a tandem bicycle. What . What . as long as sloths are slow, you can count on geico saving folks money. Fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Music laying train whistle blowing i want a rabbit. What about you . Well, i want an iphone. Make sure you get that on verizon. Its the most awarded network ever. And if anyone asks, i want a bigger train next year. vo give the gift of any iphone and get up to 300 off. Its a good, good, good time to be alive. Oh yeah. Pizza with pepsi. Delicious. Ahhh. At amazon, weve got millions of toys and games to choose from this holiday, for kids of all ages. With Free Shipping on over 100 million items. So visit amazon, and give a little love this holiday. Wifiso if you cant live without it. T it. Why arent you using this guy . It makes your wifi awesomely fast. No. Still nope. Now were talking it gets you wifi here, here, and here. It even lets you take a time out. No no yes yes, indeed. Amazing speed, coverage and control. All with an xfi gateway. Find your awesome, and change the way you wifi. Stz welcome back to the daily show. The future, is coming fast and its here now. Just like Ronnie Cheung in another installment of todays future now. Thanks, trevor. Take it from this shop lifter wanted in five countries, police all over the world have a hard shop. So to stay ahead of the criminals they are using the latest technology, starting with this idea from dubai. Dubai has, they put out a prototype for what might be policing of the future. Teak a look at this, it is called the scorpion hover bike. Whoa. It is meant for the dubai police force. It can go as high as 16 feet, well above traffic. And it go pretty fast, 43 miles an hour and with a proper charge can last about 25 minutes. Wow. Your sky lawn mow ker go 40 miles an hour for 25 whole minutes. Oh, no one is going to scare the long arm of the law now. Can i see the police already being like sorry, chief, we would have caught him but he just kept driving. I mean, what are you supposed to do. Also i love the unguarded spinning blade feature. I dont know if it solves crime but it definitely solves the problem of bistanders solving heads china is doing one better by fighting crime before it even happens. China is using ai to predict who will commit crimes next. They have connected the Computer Networks for like 50 Different Police departments in 50 different chinese cities. And they are now tracking citizens actions, records, data, and its all about predicting based on what you have already done whether you are going to be the next criminal or not. Yeah, thats what communist china needs, more excuses to arrest people. I mean this country already overreacts to crime. And look how they freaked out over that one jay walker also how do you know if the this even works, its made in china. One time i bought a Fidget Spinner made in china and it blew up in my hand. But at least china and dubai are looking to the future. Meanwhile in america, police . Georgia have their own version of the future and its this. They announced ano as the newest member of the force, a robot dog is going to help the Department Connect with children in a friendly, fun way. He opens arno will help build trust between young people and the police. What the hell was that . The police got a robot that couldnt even get hired at chuck e cheese. So okay, so dubai has a hover bike, china has minority report and america is like what if a teddy bear could that will solve crime. Also you dont need a robot dog toim press kids, get a real dog. If a kid sees a labrador he loses his goddam mind. Plus they are taking jobs away from real dogs, okay. Thousand theyre going to be out on the streets dealing drugs, selling the doingie bodies and now you have more crime than you started with. But at least some parts of america arent totally behind. The lapd is closer to getting its hands on drones. Cbs is plif at Police Headquarters with the story. Well w a little friend of ours, the drone right next to me, im standing at la Police Headquarters where right are you they took step one in making drones part of the arsenal. Thats right, the lapd is et going drones and because its la you know those drones are just going to get stuck in traffic. All right. Listen, i dont want a police drone following me, all right. I already got alexa and siri snitching on me f one of those drones came anywhere near me i would intat its metal ass out of the sky so fast you wouldnt oh, trevor, i was just jokingk i love drones, some of my best friends are drones. Trevor Ronnie Cheung, everybody, well be right back. My head is filled with ruins most of them i built with you on my way to something more youre that one i cant ignore im gonna miss you im still there sometimes i wish we never built this palace but real love is never a waste of time and roomba from irobot gets to work using two multisurface brushes and powerlifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. Daily dirt doesnt stand a chance. You and roomba from irobot. Better together. Chicken and steak for just 10. 99 chilis made some major fajita improvements 48 more meat, 10. 99 please sing it with us its 10. 99 chilis is back baby back baby back mmhmm oh baby chilis is back baby back baby back heineken has been they know about tradition. 3. My favorite tradition . You shouldnt have. Exchanging gifts. I actually brought these myself. Theres more behind the star. Aw, you guys just sing oother peoples songs. R. No. No. No. No. Thats so cute. Lets accafinish this. My heart my ladies its time to go to the next level. I say we show them that we are not a joke. I cant believe that a half decent idea came out of your dumb mouth. Thank you. [ vocalizing ] oh nobodys gonna die tonight, right . Yeah. Well, that doesnt help. [ grunts ] rated pg13. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight served as the official chief white house photographer for president obama and as the author of the New York Times best selling book o ak an intimate portrait. Please welcome pete souza. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Trevor its a beautiful book, i guess that happens whenever a president sowt of office, people put the pictures together. But you have a special relationship with many people, specifically on twitter. People know you not just as pete souza the man who took pictures of o bma but pete souza the professional troll of donald trump. Is this is this a badge you wear with pride . Oh yeah, absolutely. And its on instagram more than it is on twitter. Trevor right, you are the person, for those that dont know every single time donald trump says something about obama that is nine times out of ten a lie, it would be like obama never visited the troops and you have a picture of obama hanging out with the troops. Do you have a picture for every single thing donald trump has lied about with barack obama. Pretty much. Trevor how much joy do you get when do you it. I get a lot of joy, actually. Like do you gigel, i picture you sitting at home gik elling working on your last cup. My wife said she didnt know i was that funny and i said you just havent been paying attention. Trevor but its an interesting job that you have. One that i have always been fascinated by because you have access to the president , in a unique way. You are in rooms that require the highest level of security clearance, you are priffee to conversations that many people are not, like is there like a clearance that you have to go through as a photograph sner. Sure, i mean i have a top secret cleerns just like any of the other Senate Security people. So i would be able to be am those meetings. Wow, so you are like in top, top, top secret meetings. Yeah. Trevor did you ever like hear something and were you like oh [bleep]. All the time. Trevor because i mean you are not working in that job but you are privy to all of the information and you really did a good job of being in the background, sometimes like in a way that no one would expect. Principle some of the pictures were going to show from the book, really beautiful images like there is this one. St really intimate moment, barack and mish knell the freight elevator and what is interesting is all the secret service guys look like theyre trying to give them their privacy, and then are you there like click, click, click to click, click, click, click. You captured some of the most iconic moments. There is this image that like will live in peoples memories forever 6789 tell me the story of this picture. This is jacob, philadelphia. And he had come into the oval office to have his picture taken with his family and the president. And wanted to ask the president a question and you can imagine, being four years old, and the oval office, asks the president of the United States a question, it was more of a whisper. Like my friends tell me that my haircut is just likes yours. And that swhen the president bent over and jacob touched his head. And i think here say four year old kid touching the head of a president of the United States thatk loos lake him. Trevor right. And i this that i is one reason why this picture really resonated. Trevor you also have a picture that went all over the world. This po werful image of the situation room, what was going on when this image was taken . So this is during the bin laden raid, this is actually in the raid. Everybody is jammed into this one little conference room. Within the situation room, and theyre monitoring the raid as it is happening in realtime. Trevor how do you not look at the screen . Thats what shall it im impressed by how professional you are. Because this is bin laden, osama bin laden, there say raid happening on his house and you are taking the picture and on a screen behind su one of the most historic moments in american history. Is there not even the temptation to look . Well, how do you know i disn look . Your images have been used extensively on twitter, specifically with these two characters in mind. I would argue you are like the number one supplier of the joe biden o bma meme. Was this relationship as fun as it seems . It was fun and it was, and i think it grew in strength. I mean they were really a team. And you know, joe bied enwent through some very difficult times during his tenure at the white house with his son and everything like that. Trevor yeah. And i think he became closer to president obama through that, through those times. Trevor why does it look like in all your pictures o bma is scolding joe biden for like a prank that he was planning to, like it looks like in the first picture is he like oh man, we should like tell trump that the white house moved. And then look, in the second picture, look, when we do it tell him the white house moved somewhere else and he cant fine it and obama is like look, we cant do t but its really funny. Was he scolding him ever or was it just how it looked in the pictures. I think this is a case where you have cur rated the photos to show more than me. Trevor you know what i am just going to believe the story that im going to believe. Because thats the way i like it thank you so much for being on the show, man. applause pete souza. Obama, an intimate portrait is available now. Pete souza, everybody. Well be right back