Its just a great product overall, i think, in my opinion sure. Isnt it nuts when you think about how much shit we have done together since we met . How powerful weve become . All the witch energy we have soaked up from this city. Also, okay, lets just say that that dude had murdered his wife tonight. Right. And lets just say that she was a human. Yes. I mean, we would have solved a bleep murder mystery tonight. I know, we were literally, like. Urgh lightning crashes oh, my god holy shit, what the this is insane. How are how are we not magic . You tell me, cause i dont know. You cant tell me. You dont know from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. applause . Trevor welcome, everybody. Thank you so much. Welcome to the daily show, thank you, everybody. Im trevor noah. Hour guest tonight, the musician st. Vincent is joining us, everybody. Going to be a really fun performance and a conversation. But first, but first. When Donald Trump Took Office he said that if anyone could bring peace to the middle east it would be him. So how is that going . Maijary nounsment from President Trump has been sending shock waves through the middle east. In the last hour the president reversed 70 years of u. S. Foreign policy and recognized jerusalem as israels capitol. He also said the u. S. Embassy will be relocated from tel aviv to swrers lem within the announcement is drawing international a recall la. U. S. Allies across the middle east from saudi arabia to jordan to turkey warn this could destroy hopes for a peace settlement between israel and the palestinians. Trevor what the hell . Donald trump just blew up the middle east so hard that isis is going to take credit for it and is he so desperate for compliments he would be like you know what, isis has many sidesk folk, many sides. Moving the u. S. Embassy to swrers lem is like getting an apartment in your exgirlfriends illegal. Its not technically illegal but are you trying to dart some beep [bleep]. You realize what trump has done. One of the major issues in the whole israelipalestinian conflict is who has claim to jerusalem. And the u. S. Has always said it would be a fair mediator in this dispute until trump. Its like two people were fighting over a cook yoo and trump was like i say its israels cookie. Now lets talk about whose cookie st, yeah, yeah, can we do that. It makes no sense. Im not saying i know how to solve the middle east crisis but i know how you break it, this is how am trump probably wants to put out the california fires by throwing samsung phones at them. What are you doing snr like you know f this is the pa of the peace plan, it may be it will work, it might actually work. Think about it for decades there has been no progress at all. And then trump blunders in and does the one thing everyone agrees would be a huge mistake. So now everyone is freaking out . And they are problemly looking at each other and at him like is he crazy and everyone in the middle east is like you know were not so different after all, lets talk about it, lets talk about it, this guy is crazy, lets Work Together, lets Work Together but thats not all there was to this afternoons announcement. Bus as disturbing as it was today to watch donald trump add fuel to the middle east conflict, it was even more disturbing to watch the conflict between Donald Trumps teeth and his tongue. Let us rethink old assumptions and open our hearts and minds to defeat radicalism that threaten the hopes and dreams. It is not just the heart of three great religionsed. I asked the leaders of the region. Political and religious, thank you, god bless you, god bless israel, god bless the palestinians and god bless the united states. Thank you very much. Trevor yo, did President Trump just adeldazim the united states, what the hell was going on there, jared, jared, you know what it seemed like the whole time, it seemed like someone hit him with a blow dart just before he went out to make the speech. Like he was like all right, lets go to discuss peace peace in the mid eas peace in the mid what the hell was going on . You know what, maybe, okay, maybe we are being mean. Maybe it wasnt as bad as it seems. Lets watch it again. And god bless the united thank you very much. Trevor it was worse t was so much worse. Oh man. E oh, hes slurring and stumbling over the words. He sounds like he just had a drink with bill cosby, whats going on there, man. Trump is screwing this up was so funny. I betted there are some people in the middle east going you know what, for this it was worth t lack at this jack ass, it was worth it. But we all know, we all know what is going on here. President President Trump is wearing dentures, people, yeah. Thats what is going on. No, this used to happen to my grandfather all the time. His denture was start falling out and he wouldnt be able to finish a sentence, that is what would happen. Think about it, have you ever seen trump eitan apple or a pear or fruits or vegetables of any kind, have you . Huh . Think about it. Fake teeth, fake hair, fake tan. Like theres no part of his body thats real. At this point i wouldnt be shocked to find out he is the dude from men in black. Like and by the way, by the way, there is no shame in having dentures. But there is shame in donald trump having dentures, yeah. Because hes vein as hell. Can you imagine how he would feel if people started tweeting denture donald . He would be like dont do it, dont do t im just saying can you imagine he would feel. But dont do t dont do it, guys, hes very sensitive, okay. And lookings i know this is just a theory right now but we need to get to the truth. So i say forget the mueller investigation, bring on the molar investigation, we need to know what is happening people, i need to know now, this is serious. What is happening there. Oh man, but lets move on. Lets move on now from the white house to the capitol. At this hour senator al frankens political career is hanging in the balance. More than 20 of his Senate Colleagues have now called on the minnesota lawmaker to step down. Just moments ago 1 8 accuser spoke out against the democratic senator al franken of minnesota. There is no word yet from al franken. This new claim as the walls come caving in around the minnesota democrat. And he is set to make an announcement tomorrow. Thats the word from his office. Trevor man, this is big news. Al franken is going to be making an announcement tomorrow. He could be stepping down. Or he could be announcing hes having a baby either one. So 2 looks like al frankens political career could be over. Unless he moves to alabama to run as a republican. Yeah. Cuz down there kaw kaitionan having a great time. Because he is now ahead in most polls, right, even after aide women have accused him of sexual misconduct. And he denies that, but im sorry when eight people come out and accuse you, it is a lot harder to brush it off as a conspiracy. It is eight people. You know how hard it is to get eight people to do anything . Ive been trying to schedule din we are Three Friends for the past 18 months. Answer my [bleep] emails sill view play. Excuse my french. Now honestly, i understand the predictment. I understand the predictment that alabama voters find themselves in, you know, because do they vote for an accused pedestrian o file or more pedophile or an admitted democrat, which one. Many which they had a third choice. Well, thanks to the daily show, they do now. Roy moore and i have so much in common. Were both from alabama. We share the same first name. We have two os in our last name and actually, if you flip the w in my last name and turn it to an m, we basically got the same last name. We both dress the same and we have a love and appreciation for the second amendment. Approximate now you may be wondering what makes me the better choice on december 12th . Well, there is one key difference between roy moore and me. Im allowed at the gaston mall. Due to alleged predatory behavior decades ago towards young girls, roy moore is supposedly banned from this fine shopping establishment. And if thats a lie, come on down here and debate me, mr. Moore. Debate me in this massage chair. Or debate me here, on the carousel. I will debate you anywhere in this mall if they let you in. So if you are a republican and you have to vote for a dude named roy, write in the other roy on december 12th. The one thats allowed in the gaston mall. Trevor roy wood, jr. , trevor roy wood, jr. , everybody, well be right back. Trevor roy wood, jr. , eim here to talk to you about. How at t gives you more. And so am i. Like how when you buy the amazing new iphone 8 you get another one on us. See we give you more phones and more spokespeople. Are you guys doing a spokesperson thing right now . Yes. Awesome, can i be in it . Well, its kind of like a twophone deal. So two spokespeople. Got it. K. Thanks. At t its time for more. Its time for more. Buy the amazing iphone 8 at at t and get a second one to gift, on us. Then he tried tostitos flavored salsas. Nline. And realized that not all sharing is easy. Roasted garlic. Can i. Um. Share the salsa, stuart. Tostitos. Bring the party. And roomba from irobot gets to work using two multisurface brushes and powerlifting suction to grab and remove everything from fine dust to large debris. Daily dirt doesnt stand a chance. You and roomba from irobot. Better together. Wifiso if you cant live without it. T it. Why arent you using this guy . It makes your wifi awesomely fast. No. Still nope. Now were talking it gets you wifi here, here, and here. It even lets you take a time out. No no yes yes, indeed. Amazing speed, coverage and control. All with an xfi gateway. Find your awesome, and change the way you wifi. Trevor welcome back to the daily show. We come now to the olympics where like donald trump eating kfc athletes push their bodies to the limits of human endures deurns but this time one country has pushed it self too far. Unprecedented announcement today from the International Olympic Committee Russia has been banned from the winter limb picks in korea. A heavy price for russia massive depping operation. The ban means russia as a country will not be represented at this winters games. Trevor but apparently when russia hosted the 2014 Winter Olympics it was systemically doping its athletes. Which in a way i totally understand, right. I mean you dont want your olympic team getting beaten in your own country. That would be horrible. It would be like beyonce showing up to do karaoke at your birthday party. You would be there like yeah, no, shes really tam entered, whatever, i mean yeah, i was going to sing that song but whatever. But still, its amazing how far a went to cheat. Russian intelligence agents posed as maintenance workers entering the athlete testing plab and breaking in bottles and swapping if dirty urine for clean samples. They built a secret lab right next to the room, the storage room where the urine samples were held with a hole in the wall. Trevor whoa, whoa, forget the doping how did they get the bottles to float like that, that is the real story right there. And this is true, this is true. In one case, right, when they were switching the urine samples a russian female hockey player ended up with a males urine sample. Yeah. Imagine being the olympic inspector who had to give her those test results. Just came in, well, the good news is your urine is clean. The bad news is you have test particular lar cancer, yes, yes, good luck in your race. And how do we know that russia did all of this . Well, because the person who snitched is the dude who ran the entire scheme. The man who ran the scheme says the order came right from the top. Gregory rodchenkov. You show the best result in sochi. Trevor how dark a room does this guy have to be in to not wear sunglasses. Just like can somebody please turn down that candle, yeah, bright. Now of course we should point out that like everything russia has ever done, russia denies doing this. State sponsored doping is vemently denied by the kremlin. Tonight Russian Television channels are vowing not to show the games. President putin claims it is an american attempt to influence his election next year. Trevor oh, thats hilarious. Vlad acting like he has elections. Oh my word, thats so funny. Have you seen the russian president ial ballot, its like putin, putin again or prison. Thats what it is. It is also funny to think that there are russian voters who are going to vote for putin until they got banned from the olympics or that people just like i dont know about putin any more. Next year i will vote for jill stein. But you know who i feel bad for, i feel bad for the innocent russian athletes. Right. Because they have to be some who didnt dope or didnt want to dope. And they just dedicated their lives to training for the olympic. The good news is they can still go but not the way that they were hoping. Individual athletes with no doping history can apply to compete but as olympic athletes from russia. No anthems will be played at ceremonies if they win. Russian athletes who test clean can compete in februarys pyeongchang gains with a neutral uniform. Trevor oh, thats cold, man. They cant even represent their country . Like what, they are just going to have to wear some generic neutral uniform . Yeah . I mean that doesnt look like you are competing. People will be watching that like are those athletes are are they going to gci gollum on to them, what is going on. And if they win a gold medal they dont get to hear an anthem, that is the best part, they will just stand in the podium in silence, will you hear someone fart in the crowd. Thats heartbreaking. Well, it wont be. Cuz dont worry athletes from russia. We at the daily show have written an anthem just for you. Yeah. An anthem you can proudly sing when you take the gold. And its got all the pride of a National Anthem but its generic enough to get passed the olympic pan. So please join me as we sing oh my homeland. Sneet oh my homeland. Which has a history and many physical attributes. Our people are the best. Because they were born or moved inside its borders. Lets remember that big military victory we had. And forget all the bad stuff we did. So praise to my homeland. And et set ra, et cetera, et cetera and we act like we like these songs that we sing. applause right now we have Colin Kaepernick is taking a knee, hes like im protesting that [bleep] as well, that anthem is horrible. But even with the ban, the good news is at least russian individuals will still be allowed to compete. Right . And if russia can only send one person who is going to represent them in every sport, i think i know exactly who it is. You know what, people, russia is going to be fine. Well be right back. What are you asking santa for . I want a rabbit train whistle blowing hey, thomas. Thats not how you get a rabbit. If you want a rabbit, you ask for a pony and then let them work you back down. Mmhmm. Youre up what if aunt joy wants the new iphone . You make this your final offer ask for it on verizon. Its the most awarded network ever. Thats why more people count on it. Id like a giant singing rabbit in a rocket ship, please. Shes a shrewd businesswoman. vo give the gift of any iphone and get up to 300 off. Only on the best network. Music laying how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. music rated mature. Playstation. You are a city city wall, city wall she could be dancing down a hall, dancing down a hall were turning heads, were turning heads, were turning heads, oh yeah and nothing can stop us now trevor welcome back. Is my guest tonight is a grammy awardwinning musician whose new album called mass seduction. Please welcome st. Vincent. applause . Trevor welcome to the show. Thank you. Trevor thank you very much for being here. That is a very cool outfit. Im very comfortable. Trevor are you struggling with that chair. No, im very comfortable. This is just me reclaining and lounging. Trevor i can recline with you if you want to feel. Do you mind. Trevor now were in the same space. I like it. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Trevor congratulations on another album, successful on the billboard top ten charts, so congratulations on that. Thank you. Trevor thats exciting. Lets talk about the music and persona around st. Vincent. This new album is called mass seduction, what does that mean, is that seducing people in bulk . Yeah, i like the costco seduction. What i like or what the thought behind mass seduction was like, it is a play on words. Trevor right. You know, kind of sounds like my seduction, am i seducing, am i being seduced, but i sent it to a friend of mine to say what do you think of the title. And he said all i see is ass education, and im like okay, okay. Green light. Trevor he just skipped the beginning of the word. I like that. Ass education. Trevor those are good friends to have you like playing with words and also ideas and themes. Some people have compared you to david weie saying like you have a way about you with the music, your characters change from album to album. Is that something you do intentionally. Lake does the character sort of shape what the album is going to be about . I mean its always sort of music first and in the sengs that themes emerge and then you, so every record, more or less has a sort of archetype. So like i did an archetype of like housewife on pills and then not from my experience. And then i did another archetype of like near future cult leader and this is like you know, like dom i z dinatrix at the mental institution. Trevor uhhuh, uhhuh, so all regular themes. Regular gal. Trevor regular gal with regular themes. Yeah. Trevor its very provocative, the pictures, the images. The cover is obviously a woman bending over, and were seeing her buttocks. Im not mature enough to deal with my own album cover. Trevor it is really, did you design that on purpose, is there something you are trying to say in the artwork, is there a message you are trying to give to people before they start consuming the music . So originally the album cover was goinged to to be like a zaney portrait of me, right. And then we got into the 34eu9d of the photo shoot and this is one of the photos that emerged of a model at the shoot. And it just seemed like this was the more appropriate sort of visual representation of the 58 bum than like me starring off into the middle distance. Cuz its like sexy and also like superweird and funny. Trevor is that the album, sexy, superweird and funny . This is a comedy album. You know im here, a comedy album, yeah, yeah. Trevor sexy, superweird and sunny, im excited to hear you sing it, you are an amazing guitarist which a lot of people know which is why you are recognized by the grammys. So thank you very much for being here. Thank you for having me. Trevor im looking forward to the music. Mass seduction is available now. And be sure to stay tuned for a special acoustic performance after the break. St. Vincent, everybody. Well be right back. R trevor thats our show for tonight, the opposition with jordan clep certificate coming up next, now to play us out with the song los ageless from the song mass seduction, please welcome st. Vincent. applause . In los ageless the winter never comes. In los ageless the mothers milk thrair young. But i can keep running oh i can keep run
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