News that were interested in. Not safe for work. Conservative senator ted cruz raising eyebrows this morning after liking a hard core porn video on his twitter account. Take a look at this screen shot from his ted cruz twitter account. Appears he liked a tweet from an account called sexual posts, includes a twominute clip that appears to be pornography. Trevor yep, of course ted cruz was search for porn by typing sexual posts. That is the most generic, lame way to search for pornography. What else does he search . Uncovered swimsuit areas. Reproduction showing the outside parts. laughter you know what . I bet ted cruz doesnt even watch porn for the sex. He probably just gets excited to see strangers going over to somebodys house. You know is this he probably just gets off hearing the doorbell ring. Dingdong oh. Visitors oh. My dream. laughter heres the thing, though, everyone is freaking out about this and calling it a possible scandal all because a politician may have watched porn. Come on, people. No big deal. Everyone watches porn. All right . Its part of being a norm human being which is exactly why we know ted cruz didnt do it. laughter he didnt do it. Hes pretending to like porn as a way to blend in with the rest of the human species. Nice try, ted nice try cheers and applause i know what this is yeah. Trying to seem relatable as your first move into the 2020 president ial run. Were not buying it, ted cruz. You dont watch porn. We know you got hacked. We know it, ted. We know. Speaking of hacks, lets get to the big story tonight. Youve probably been hearing on the news the name equifax a lot lately. I know it sounds like a prescription drug, you know, the kinds with those commercials where a lady cant run in a meadow because she poops too much. You know those commercials. But its not. laughter equifax is actually one of the three big agencies that keep track of peoples credit information. So basically, if you want to get a loan, equifax can determine whether you get it or not. They can do this because they know everything about you. Theyre like an Instagram Stalker but for credit. Like every car youve bought, every bill you paid late. That loan you took out for a japanese masturbation machine, they know all of it. Real thing, by the way. Thats a real thing. Yeah. Thats why what happened should make you very afraid. A massive Security Breach revealed today by one of the three big credit reporting bureaus, equifax. The hack could go down as among the biggest ever involving nearly half the u. S. Population. Credit reporting agency equifax says the data breech involved the names, addresses, Social Security numbers, birth dates and even drivers license information for 143 Million People. Trevor wow, 143 Million People at risk. Thats like half of the adults in america, you realize that, right . To put that in perspective, lets do this, everyone in the audience look to the person to your right, and now look to the person to your left. While you were doing that, someone opened a credit card in your name. laughter thats what just happened there. Now i know some of you might be thinking, bleep , well, that sucks for equifax customers, trevor, but ive never even heard of equifax. Well, the bad news is theyve heard of you because equifaxs job is to collect everyones financial information, everyone, whether you know about it or not, and thats what makes this data theft so dangerous. When hackers get your personal information, they can do just about anything. Katy had her identity stolen by criminals. They went to stores ive never been to and successfully opened 11 to 14 different credit cards. Hitting nearly every store on this block on a 15,000 shopping spree. They had all my pedigree information, Social Security card, drivers license, wifes maiden name, all that stuff. Hack, drained his Bank Accounts and childrens savings accounts in under 45 minutes. We had been working for about a year to save up a lot of cash to pay for our entire wedding, and it was gone. Yeah, you see that . Thats really bleep . That couple lost their savings, their house and even their faces. laughter which is really messed up because, now, they wont be able to unlock their iphone 10. Siri, please its me, siri, its me new phone, who dis . Come on, siri come on applause come on, siri cheering now, if you were responsible for putting half of the American Population at risk, at great financial risk, you would be thinking, oh, man, how am i going to make up for this . But if you were equifax, you would be thinking, how do we screw the people even more . Theyve established a web site and you can go to the equifax security 2017. Com, type in your last name, the last six digits of your Social Security number, and it will tell you if you are breeched or not. As customers went through that web site that equifax set up, they noticed that buried in the terms of service was language that barred those who enroll in the equifax Credit Program from filing for any class action lawsuits that may arise from this breech. Trevor in exchange for them telling you that theyve messed you over, you have to agree to not sue them. Its basically the corporation version of, okay, im going to tell you something but you promise you wont get mad. Youve got to promise you wont get mad. laughter after a ton of backlash equifax did reverse the steps, but its frustrating corporations get away with bleep none of us could ever get away with. What grates my balls the most is this isnt just any corporation. laughter thats a real phrase. I made it up, but its a real phrase now. Its not just any corporation. This is the one corporation whose job it is to keep track of every single time youve messed up. Every time. Hey, we noticed you missed a student loan payment. Now you cant get a mortgage. Can you imagine if we tried this the other way around. Right . You take a loan from the bank, lose all the money in vegas, then when the bank comes back to you, hey, man, you lost all that money. Youre, like, yeah, i know that happened but heres how were going to fix it im going to need 10,000 more from you guys. The banks, like, what . Ah, you promised you wouldnt get mad. laughter equifax is shady and still trying to spin this as a positive. How do we know this . We hacked into their system and discovered this new add that were planning to release. Here at equifax we know you expect security, privacy and honesty. Now, we cant guarantee any of those things, but thanks to the recent hack, heres what we can guarantee the perfect scapegoat for your bleep credit. We were out to dinner our first date and my credit card got declined which is the ultimate bleep block. But i told the waiter ever since equifax was hacked my credit card doesnt work. Hes actually dead broke. But at the time i thought it was equifax. Night saved. Equifax, more like equi bleep . Right, babe . laughter this equifax thing is amazing, black people had a reputation for having bad credit. Now everyones credit is messed up. Not to overshare. Later that night, i couldnt get an erectionenned i blamed that on equifax, too. Thanks, equifax. Equifax. Blame us. We deserve it. Trevor well be right back. cheers and applause ever wonder whats in a beer . If its a bud light, its four essential ingredients barley, rice, water and hops. heres to the beer you can always count on. Brewed to be americas favorite light lager. Heres to the beer you can always count on. Then he tried tostitos flavored salsas. Nline. And realized that not all sharing is easy. Roasted garlic. Can i. Um. Share the salsa, stuart. Tostitos. Bring the party. Ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. What are you doing after this . Trevor welcome back to the daily show this past weekend was the miss america pageant. Here to give us her thoughts, michelle wolf, everybody cheers and applause thank you, trevor you know, i dont know if you know this about me but i love pageants. I actually canted wanted to get into pageants but i realized getting into miss america is super hard. Theres, like, tons of qualifications. Look at all those rules. I would never qualify. I broke, like, three of those rules today. laughter besides, i dont really have tiara hair. It would get lost. laughter i realize its actually easier to become president than miss america. applause cause, you know cheers and applause because do you know what the qualifications are for president . 35 and born here. Thats not qualifications thats the terms of a sad lady on a match. Com profile. My type . Also at this point for 35 and born here, or, i dont know, not dead, im flexible. Trevor wow, i honestly had no idea there were so many qualifications to be miss america. Oh, no, not to be miss america. Thats just how you get into the competition. Once youre in the door, you still have to do all this crap. Miss new jersey cheers and applause yodeling all right. Couple of things yodeling ventriloquism . Wow, us women keep finding more creative ways to die alone. laughter also, what did you do to my brother . Turn him back into a real boy laughter you know, i know people think pageants are sexist, and they are, but they also take time at the end of the competition to ask the contestants really hard questions. Last month a demonstration of neonazis, White Supremacists and th the k. K. K. In charlottesville, virginia, turned violent and a counterprotester was killed. The president said there was blame of very fine people on both sides. Were there . Tell me yes or no and explain. I think the white supremacist issue was a terrorist attack and i think donald trump should have made a statement earlier addressing the fact and making sure all americans feel safe in this country, that is the number one issue now. How crazy is that . It took the president four days and three tries to give a bleep answer to that question. And miss texas nailed it in 20 seconds. cheers and applause this is how little faith america has in its women. They have to be prettier, more talented and smarter than the president just to get the job of waving for a year. Shes going to be stuck in a parade, like, glad i solved that nazi problem. laughter they wont even let me drive. laughter like, i realized if he was in that competition, President Trump would have finished behind last. 195 countries signed the Paris Agreement in which each country sets nonbinding goals to reduce manmade Climate Change. The u. S. Is withdrawing from the agreement. Good decision . Bad decision . Which is it and why . Yeah, i mean, something could happen representative to the paris accord, well see what happens, but we will talk about that over the coming period of time, and if it happens, that will be wonderful, and if it doesnt, that will be okay, too. But well see what happens. But we did discuss buzzer i do believe its a bad decision. applause thank you. Once we reject that we take ourselves out of the negotiation table and thats something we really need to keep in mind. There is evidence Climate Change is existing so whether you believe it or not we need to be at that table and i think its a bad decision on the behalf to have the united states. Thank you. ding trevor wow wow applause she seems so much more prepared than donald trump. Well, yeah, of course she knows if she wins this contest, she will be representing america to the world. Thats a big responsibility. laughter and shes not some unique genius. All the contestants are like that. There are multiple investigations into whether Trumps Campaign colluded with russia on the election. Well, did they . Now, tomorrow you will say donald trump wants to get along with russia, this is terrible. Its not terrible. Its good. We had Hillary Clinton trying to do a reset. We had Hillary Clinton give russia 20 of the uranium in our country. You know what uranium, is right . This thing called Nuclear Weapons and other things buzzer like lots of things are done with uranium including bad things. Right now i would have to say innocent because not enough information has been revealed. We are still investigating this and i think we should investigate it to its fullest extent, and if we find the evidence they have had collusion with russia, then the Justice System should do Due Diligence and they should be punished accordingly. ding cheers and applause dont clap too much. She didnt win. laughter i just figured something out. Remember how donald trump said he used to sneak into pageant dressing rooms . Maybe he wasnt being creepy. Maybe he just needed answers. laughter i know youre changing, but theyre quizzing me on uranium and all ive got is its not good and other things. laughter heres my suggestion, lets switch the president for anyone with miss america. I would even take the weird ventriloquist lady as president because right now all we have is the dummy. laughter Trevor Michelle wolf, everybody. Well be right back cheers and applause the all new 2018 camry. Toyota. Lets go places. U. G. L. Y. You aint got no alibi get ugly. Get ugly. Propel. The only water with enough electrolytes to put back what you lose in sweat. So being cool comes naturally. Hmm. I cant decide if this place is swag or bling. Its pretzels. Word. Ladies, you know when you switch, you get my bombdiggity discounts automatically. No duh, right . [ chuckles ] sir, you forgot keep it. Youre gonna need it when i make it precipitate. What, what . What . What, what . Wyou can blow a bunch of moneys, on a new phone. Or, you can mobile simple. Keep the phone you love. Keep the number you love. And get truly unlimited highspeed data. With nationwide coverage on a lightningfast 4g lte network, for just 45 a month. With no contract. Keep you phone. Keep you number. Save your money when you mobile simple with simple mobile. Text byop to 611611 to see if your phones compatible. [mnemonic] at Stanford Health care, we can now repair complex aortic aneurysms without invasive surgery. If we can do that, imagine what we can do for varicose veins. And if we can precisely treat eye cancer with minimal damage to the rest of the eye, imagine what we can do for glaucoma, even cataracts. If we can use dna to diagnose the rarest of diseases, imagine what we can do for the conditions that affect us all. Imagine what we can do for you. cheers and applause trevor welcome back to the daily show. My guest tonight is an olympic silver medalist, a fivetime grand slam champ one and the author of the new unstoppable please welcome tennis player Maria Sharapova cheers and applause thank you. Thank you so much. Trevor welcome to the show. Thank you. Im a huge fan. Trevor i appreciate it. Thank you very much. You are still in new york after the u. S. Open. Yes. Trevor as someone who plays in such a huge tournament, i always wanted to know, when the tournament is done, do you just stop watching or do you just hate watch the rest of it . I did not watch much after and usually you get on the next flight home, i didnt because i had the press tour for the book, but thats usually the feeling you have, pack your bags, its done, finished, go home. Isnt that sad . laughter it really is. Trevor it is sad. All this preparation and you just never know when youre going to have to pack your back,er win or lose. Trevor you dill still get paid though, right . You do but you get paid better the more you win. Trevor that sucks. There is something to play for, so thats okay. Trevor a lot to play for. It comes across in the book. Lets talk about the why of the book first. Youre a young person. Yes. Trevor why write the book now . What inspired you to get into your story my life so far . As someone in my early 20s i never thought i would write a memoir at this age. When journalists would ask me about my story, and i started talking about my father coming to america, 6 and a halfyearold girl, arriving in a miami airport with only 700, i would get more questions like no one believed my story. I thought there was a lot of death and inspiration in it and i wanted to put it on paper. Trevor when you talk about your journey, traveling throughout the united states, you talk about going to tennis cad mis, i didnt know about it, seems like a Close Knit Community where you were playing with Anna Kournikova and meeting all these tennis people who have become likely rivals and also competitors in the game. Exactly. Trevor when you were playing together did you know thats where you were going to end up . Its where i wanted to end up. I think we all have dreams, visions and goals. My parents did as well. When youre young, its like youre almost ultimately living your parents dream. You love what you do. I was excited to be in this new culture, this new language, nobody shuts up, having a good time, playing, have a racket and a ball, were so lilt we dont even know what were doing, but we have this vision, we see on the television these matches, classic rivalries, and we want to be there and ultimately whether you get there is the question. I think in this book, there are so many paths we could have taken and the reason the book scald unstoppable is within this journey there are so many road blocks and so many people who said no, i wasnt good enough, and shell never win the french open, shes not strong enough, and that was the mentality i really started at a very young age. Trevor if you could go back and give yourself any advice or say anything to that little maria playing tennis, what would you tell her . I think always continue playing like you only have 700, and to always have this dream and to always feel like maybe you dont have it right now because traveling around the world and you know every single tournament where youre going to be, i have been there, i have been fortunate to win incredible events and career grand slam, but in order to win it again, you have to feel like maybe you havent done it yet, to have that hunger and motivation, to find something that drives you. You speak in the book about one of the most devastating moments your career and that was when you had what many people called the doping scandal. Right. Trevor you speak about using medication that was never banned for i think it was ten years. Ten years. Trevor and one day a list comes out, the substance is banned, you go through the process, tell me how that happened from your point of view. Yeah, i speak about it very openly in the book because it was, i mean, an incredibly tough journey that i had for those 15 months and so many incertainties, so many unknowns, when i got the email that i had failed that test, it was, like, shock, disbelief, what is it. Had i known what the name was when i found out, i was, like, this was a mistake, i was taking it a long time, completely legal. Then efound out it was not legal. In that position, there are so many people to blame and it starts with yourself. Trevor right. But i dont think it would have gotten me anywhere. I came out in front of it and told the world what happened. I think with that mentality, i went through and kept training. I knew i would be back on the court, i didnt know when. When i found out it was april this year, it was so exciting, and being back in my first grand slam in 18 months was special. Trevor thanks for joining us. Unstoppable on sale now. Fascinating story. Maria sharapova, everybody. Well be right back. cheers and applause we just got to take it one game at a time. Next question. Odell can you repeat everything you just said . My livestream wont load. blows whistle technical foul wrong sport. Wrong network. See, you need unlimited on verizon. Its americas largest, most reliable 4g lte network. It wont let you down in places like this. Even in the strike zone its the red zone. Pretty sure its the strike zone. Here, use mine. All right. See you on the court, champ. Heads up vo when it really, really matters, you need the best network and the best unlimited. Now plans start at 40 per line for four lines. Introducing the all new with nine chicken tenders. [slap] or six pieces of chicken. [slap] or twelve hot wings. [slap] or popcorn nuggets. Now get out there and have fun woo, lets go its Finger Lickin good can showerou to smell unique to smell confident to smell amazing. You got something. Smell like the best you with axe you body wash. cheers and applause trevor thats our show for tonight. Thank you for tuning in. Join us tomorrow night at 11 00. Now here it is. Your moment of zen. singing sing sing 100 van what did yall just sell . From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show thank you so much for tuning in im trevor noah tonights guest, here to talk about the movie, femm the mounn between us, idris elba is here, everybody cheaper hes going to be right