Please. Such a nice audience, and you are right, i am larry. It is amazing how you guys picked up on that. I am larry wilmore. Man, we have a great show tonight. The first gop president ial debate went down last thursday in cleveland, and it is the subject of tonights president ial coverage. Thats right. Its time to catch up on what is happening with the unblackening. Larry i dont think i should be so happy about the unblackening, i will be honest with you. It is just the music makes me happy. As with any president ial debate, the air was thick with sound bite gold like huckabees new way of funding social security. The fair tax transforms the process by which we Fund Social Security and medicare, because the money paid in consumption is paid by everybody, including illegals, prostitutes, pitches pimps. Larry pimp pimps. Is that what is going to fix the budget . I mean, i knew it was hard out there for a pimp, but under Mike Huckabee its going to be even harder, pimps. Do we really want to deincentivize pimping . Thats all i am saying. All right. You know what else and . I will be honest with you guys. We dont really care what anybody else said in the debate, right . Lets get to our star. You call women you dont like fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals. Your twitter account. Only rosie odonnell. Well i will tell you what, with Hillary Clinton i said be at my wedding and she came to my wedding. I dont mind having a big beautiful door on that wall so that people can come into this country legally. Larry and of course above that door it says donald trump presents america, somebodys doing the raping. Donald trump door. Now, 24 Million People tuned in to this debate. And lets be honest. Most people tuned in to see donald trump be all trumpy, right . I mean its like god bestowed us with this most fantastic troll to gill the dog days of summer with glorious entertainment. In fact, he even looks like a troll doll. Look at his hair. All right . Doesnt he . Look. I have one right here. See, look. Doesnt it look like a troll . I am the most entertaining most loveable troll ever. Okay. All right, all right. And like the rest of us, the media didnt Pay Attention to anything else in the debate besides trump. The and one of the biggest issues they focused on was trumps anger at what he perceived as being treated unfairly, by none other than foxs megyn kelly. You once told a contestant on celeb apprentice it would be a pretty picture to see her on her knees. Does that sound to you like the temperament of a man we should elect as president . I think the big problem this country has is being politically correct. And, honestly, megan, if you dont like it, i am sorry. I have been very nice to you, although i could probably maybe not be, based on the way you have too treated me, but i wouldnt do that. Larry so his response to being accused of treating women poorly on television is a thinly veiled threat to a woman on television . In front of 24 Million People i know, a lot of people. I get it. Of course, he talked to don lemon the next day and pretty much ripped the vail right off. You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her, wherever. Larry her wherever . Whatever could you be talking about . Are you trying to insinuate that megyn kellys aunt flow was in town . Hmm . And thats why she was being so mean to you . So here was trumps explanation. I said her blood was wherever because i wanted to finish the sentence because i wanted to get off the whole thing and get back on to the subject of jobs or whatever i was going to say those and or, nose and or ears because that is a very common statement. Blood pouring out of somebodys nose. I mean, even dick cheney would classify that explanation as tortured. Since when is she had blood coming out of her eyes, nose and ears a common expression . I have been watching wheel of fortune for 30 years and i have never seen that. Never. I have never seen that, okay . I also dont buy trump saying he was in a rush to get the conversation on to jobs, and thats why he said, wherever. Now is sake wherever faster than saying nose . Wherever is twice as long as nose, more than double if you throw in the extra e like i always do. It would be unfair of me to say donald trump is lying, okay here is what i believe about trump. I believe trump is the only person who gully believes things after he says them. All right . I mean, i am worth 10 billion, you are worth 4. I said ten, so thats what i believe. All right . He says, therefore it is. Right . For example, the fallout from megyn kellys menstruation gate was immediate. Red state editor Erick Erickson disinvited trump from the red state gathering in atlanta on saturday. Trumps response . Frankly, i didnt want to do his event in the first place. Thats right, larry. I didnt want to do it. It was my predecision that they fulfilled. He did the same thing when neil young told him to stop using his song at events. I dont even like that song that much. Yep, that was a horrible song i post hated. You know who trump sounds like . I meant to do that. Larry of course, larry, it only makes sense. This is unbelievable. The, and the craziest part of it is, with all of this nonsense you would think trump is slipping in the polls, but no. Despite the controversy and headlines a new poll finds donald trump is still on top with republican voters. Nbc News Survey Monkey poll from friday and saturday shows trump 23 percent, ten points ahead of senator ted cruz. Larry i find it richly ironic it is survey monkey who finds trump on top of the polls. In fact, we actually have survey monkey live via satellite. Survey monkey, how do you feel about trump surging in the polls . Survey monkey, i think we lost the monkey feed. Let me just sum up what we have gone through in the last month and a half, if i may. Okay. So far, trump has called mexicans rapists and attacked one of americas most beloved pows and game out a sitting senators phone number out of spite. And now he basically blamed a womans tough questioning on her period. And his polls just go higher and higher and higher. I know last month the polls seemed ironic, right . We were all doing a joke, we were all laughing, ha, ha. Trump is funny, man. He is funny. He is going to be done in a week, right . America, i am talking to you directly. Stop it [ cheers and applause ] larry stop it. America, listen to me, stop it. This is the classiest most huhuh. Stop it. We will be right back. We will be right back. [ cheers and applause ] who says families have to share data . 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One bottle, six benefits. Power to your mouth™. And for kids starting at age six, listerine® smart rinse delivers extra cavity protection after brushing. [ male announcer ] give extra. Get extra. We snap it. We stack it. We smoosh it. We love it. Hersheys makes it a smore. You make it special. Hersheys is mine, yours, our chocolate. To concerts of your choice tickets every hour cool alright but only with pepsi. You still got the polar bear. Pop open music every hour with pepsi a hamelted cheddarger, with crispy hash browns and an egg your way. Now thats a burg. explosion groans you want that to go again sweetie . The thing burger. Welcome to dennys. Fantastic 4, only in theaters. You need to eat this special. Start your day. With 150 nourishing calories in a bowl of special k. Eat special, feel special. [ cheers and applause ] larry welcome back. Besides looking forward to what trump had to say in last thursdays debate there was one other issue i was forward to hearing the candidates discuss. Governor walker, many in the black lives Matter Movement and beyond believe that overly Aggressive Police officers targeting young africanamericans is the civil rights issue of our time. Do you agree . Ive got to say, it was really nice of the price is right Graphics Department to lend their talents to fox for the night. Very nice. Very thoughtful. But rejected plinko animation makes a good point, 8. 5 Million People is a lot of people. Okay. I know this is going to be a huge part of the debate. As big an issue as race is right now, this is could be its own debate. All right, scott walker is up first. Lets see how he eases us into this section of the night its about making sure that Law Enforcement professionals, not only on the way into their positions but all the way through their time have the proper training. Particularly when it comes to use of force. Thethere are consequences to shw that we treat everyone the same here in america. Thank you. For more of our debate thats it . You are going to commercial . No followup . Race gets one question to the whitest guy on the panel . Man. I dont even get to hear, i dont even get to hear trump run his mouth about how he thinks the blacks are licks you ares you and fantastic. Man, i cant believe fox spent so little time on race. In fact, this is true, the entire amount of time they spent was 31 seconds. All right . Which brings us to our classic segment, ricky velez heats up a pop tart, sponsored by toaster strudel. [ cheers and applause ] larry okay. Tonight we are challenging ricky to see if he can heat up a pop tart in the time that the fox news Republican Debate spent on black lives matter. I have got this, larry. I can do it. Larry you know its the fox debate, right. I dont know what that means but no problem. Larry lets do it, get ready, and go. Well, i think the post, most important thing we can do when it comes to policing is something you have had a guest on, a friend of mine, milwaukee. He is opening it, and struggling. Make sure Law Enforcement. He is in the middle part of his statement. He is getting close to the end of his statement. She getting there, yes use of force. Larry getting close. Yep. How is that pop tart going . It is not going well. Larry no . And [ buzzer ] larry oh ricky you didnt make it. What happened . How was i supposed to make it . It wasnt enough time 31 seconds [ cheers and applause ] 31 seconds , 31 seconds is unfair to a pop tart, larry. Larry yes, it is ricky, yes, it is. Ricky velez, everyone [ cheers and applause ] larry not only did they spend less than a pop tart cooking time on black lives matter, the commercial they went to right after was this. We took the and it became our weapon. I am coming straight outa compton. That is 100 percent true, okay . I did not make that up. The fox debate spent 31 seconds on black lives matter and then went to the straight outa compton trailer . And for the record that commercial was 29 seconds longer than the debate spent on socalled racial issues. You know what . You know what . You can boo all you want but the message is clear, black lives matter when they are paying for ad time. We will be right back. [ cheers and applause kelloggs® frosted. 8 layers of wheat. And one thats sweet. To satisfy the adult. And kid in all of us. Nutritious wheat for the adult youve grown into. And delicious sweet for the kid youll never outgrow. Feed your inner kidult. With frosted miniwheats® and now you could win up to a hundred dollars when you buy any specially marked kelloggs cereal. Yoabout summer pizza . Ng it tastes light. It tastes fresh. And its pizza. Try our new grilled chicken margherita pizza. A large for only 12. 00. And, add a Chocolate Chip Cookie for only 5. 00 more. Better ingredients. Better pizza. Papajohns. Com. Digiorno . Or delivery . Taste for yourself why the shortest distance between you and a delicious, freshbaked pizza, is your oven. Thankfully, its not delivery. Its digiorno. Okay funs over. Aw. Aw. Thirsty . They said it would make me cool. They dont sound cool to me. Guess not. You got to stick up for yourself, like with the name your price tool. People tell us their budget, not the other way around. Arent you lactose intolerant . This isnt lactose. Its milk. This isnt lactose. Its milk. Give it to me im worth it. Baby im worth it. Uh huh im worth it. Gimme gimme im worth it. Give it to me im worth it. Baby im worth it. Hey nithanks. Today. Juicy fruit . Sure ill try a piec. Juicy fruit. So sweet you larry welcome back. I am here with my panel. Nightly show contributor, you know him, mike yards. [ cheers and applause ] larry also, hes a comedian, writer and the host of fusions the Chris Gethard show. Chris gethard. [ cheers and applause ] larry and you can catch her this fall as a panelist on meredith, comedian yamaneika saunders. [ cheers and applause ] larry so. We are talking about donald trump, i mean, here is what is amazing to he about donald trump, no matter what he says, right, he just cant be destroyed. I mean, the it is almost like they traveled here from the future to wipe out the republican party, right . And he just wont die. He is like the terminator. I mean, honestly, no matter what your partisan belief, be mons is trump the only reason you tuned into that debate . Were you interested in any other person . No, i wasnt interested in anyone but him because he is nuts, like a wild bore just running around. Like a wild boar . He is crazy. But you know, he was amazing. I was only watching for him but i did notice that ron paul, rand paul, running, randing. He was going nuts and having a hard time because he had to be so straightlaced and instead of going nuts, no, i no, i have to be more sane than you. Trump even told him he was having a hard time. Thats the other thing. I watched it for trump because i feel like he is a crazy rich old white dude but if he stops being crazy then you watch like regular rich dudes, i would rather watch him be crazy than the other guys talk about anything. I have to be honest, i wanted to see what marco rubio had to say and governor kasich had to say and ben carson and they spoke and it is like, well, what is trump up to . Exactly. It is true. I am done. Man, you know such an interesting guy. bleep . Larry it is interesting, i thought a, i saw a lot of women coming out supporting trump after that. What is up about that . I dont understand that. You have never seen a woman because you know what it is, donald trump says these things and we start to believe it the. Like mexicans will bring over he said this is how you know mexicans are on our side, i got on the phone with the president. He is naming mexican things, stephen chavez, stephen gonzalez, and people go, oh, okay, the mexican people said okay and he does the same thing with women. On the phone with speedy gonzales . He would say that. He knows people, and larry all right, all right. I dont get it man, i dont get it. Do you think he meant to say that thing about about megyn kelly . If i were able to figure out what trump was trying to say, i would kill myself. There is no way in hell i want to be in trumps head. There is no bleep ing way. Okay . There is no way. I dont get it, man. It is like things you cant answer. Like why are there republicans . I dont bleep ing know. There are things i dont get. [ cheers and applause ] do you think fox news is out to get him as some people say or i feel like they feel responsible for his creation and now they feel it is necessary to take him out. I know. I feel like. They created the monster. And now we must kill you, monster. Watching fox news feels like my dad felt going to a high school musical. I made this and this is what you do with your time . Right. You know what . [ applause ] larry go ahead. Like you said, they created him when he was talking about obama and he was running him on tv, every day, it is like where is the birth certificate . Right. So now, it is all giggles until the bully turns on you. You know what i am saying . It is funny when he is punching other people in the face but when he starts bleep ing with you, it is like, hold on a minute. I thought we were friends. What the bleep is going on . [ cheers and applause ] so i ran through the litany of all of the things he said and, you know, you have mentioned a couple. Mexicans are rapist, john mccain was tortured as a pow. How do you slam that . All of this stuff and, you know, his ratings keep going up. I think he is going to implode at some point. I have no idea at this point what could bring him down. Hike serious. I mean, other than what is he going to say, jesus was a loser . Jesus is a loser . What can you do at this point. There is nothing it is magical and like i said in my mind i think i voted for hillary. I dont know. I am so confused. I am voting for him. He is bugs bunny in america. Absolutely, yes. bleep , uh, uh, what happened. That is what is going to happen. Exactly. Exactly. He will take his dick out at some point and we will all be fine, we will all be fine. He probably would. And it will be the most beautiful penis in the world. I am uncircumcised and check this out. And we are good, we are good. Larry oh, my god. So people do like him for the simple fact he says what he thinks and they dont care about the actual content . I feel like the people like him must be guys who still think wrestling is real, you know what i mean . Like a stranglehold i think that people that like trump, there is a contingent of i could be wrong but i think it is white men who are scared of the ethnic takeover. Just think about it. All trump says is mexicans are rapists. We are losing to mexico, we are losing to china. And it is all ethnic. Everything is ethnic. We are never losing to europe. Do you ever spend money in europe . They will laugh at you. They dont want our money. We are losing to them so they never bring them up. And he turns around and says i am going to get the chinese vote and the mexican vote and the black vote and i am getting the woman vote. We will be right back, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] grab some free tickets to uncoming taping of the daily show. For complete dailies details go youre getting 3 here. Alright . Here goes. Yep. [ crunching ] oh cheddar, sour cream onion, and salt vinegar. Wow wow how did you do that . i can see through the blindfold. 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Problem is, not thinking about that spicy goodness makes you think about it even more. Pffft. Who falls for this stuff . So what are you waiting for . Larry thats our show. I want to thank our panelists, mike yard, Chris Gethard and yamaneika saunders. Good nightly, from come Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon oh, welcome to the daily show im jon stewart. Boom my guest tonight, Amy Schumer Amy schumer is going to be here. I forgot lets begin tonight, were very excited because weve got good news. The California Drought is over because last week a special group in california made it rain big stop on the money trail in the race for the white house. The Koch Brothers hosted five candidates over the weekend at a business conference in southernical call. Theyre spending their time pitching to whats been called the koch primary. Jon the koch primary . laughter the Koch Brothers have pledged to give almost a billion dollars to buy the next election. Meaning five of the Top Republican can the das were happy to come on down for a chance to done el